


Patience is Virtuous... Save for Vegas.

by Gotalong, xoimadivaox



Series: Patience is Virtuous [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Hand Jobs, Las Vegas, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, and we are so far from being done, buckle up buttercup, we got carried away
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-10-14 08:01:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 129,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10532259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gotalong/pseuds/Gotalong, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoimadivaox/pseuds/xoimadivaox
Summary: There's the tell-tale of a massive hangover buzzing behind Lin's eyes, fogging his brain in that unpleasant way he's hated since college. It wouldn't be so bad if he got to sleep it off until he felt like a normal human being again. But no. Of course not. Lacamoire has dragged his ass all the way to the wrong coast and he'll be pissed if Lin sleeps in instead of exploring or taking advantage of the numerous casinos of the Strip. The warm, unfamiliar body in his bed is also quite the convincing argument to get up.





	1. Sugarcane and Honeycombs

**Author's Note:**

> To be completely honest, we're not quite sure how this evolved into a 25k first chapter, but it happened, so here it is. Enjoy the ride.  
> We beta'ed as best we could, but there are bound to be remaining mistakes, so apologies in advance.  
> Mild spoiler, if you pretend that gay marriage was legal in Las Vegas in 2006, this holds up.
> 
> Classic RPF disclaimer, don't go showing this to the wrong people so that we can keep having nice things. This is fictional, non-commercial, the like. Y'all know the drill.  
> Thanks to everyone who listened to us babble non-stop about this for over a week now and to everyone who provided help when we got stuck.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He grinned wide, like he'd just unwrapped the best Christmas gift of his entire life, and his stare went from teasing to ravenous in less time than it took to blurt their hyphenated last names out._

November 2006. Las Vegas, Nevada.

Some call it Sin City; others, City of Vices. A good chunk of people called it home. He apparently had to call it a necessary rite of passage, according to Lac. They’d just gotten the call from investors that _In the Heights_  had been picked up. Off-Broadway, but hey, he wasn't even 27 yet. Not a lot of people have a 2-hour musical opening in New York before they even turn 30, so when they’d gotten the news, Alex told him he was taking him on a vacation to celebrate. Vegas became the top destination in Alex’s mind as soon as Lin dropped that he’d never had the chance to go – he'd been working on _ITH_  since college. Vacation was a concept he didn't know too well.

And now, it was a concept he couldn’t quite remember. He wasn’t even sure he could remember his very own name, at that point. His head was pounding and he was fairly certain that the balcony in this hotel room was on the wrong side of the room, not how it was supposed to be. Opening his eyes made everything worse, though, so that mystery was gonna have to wait. He forced himself to roll out on his back and groaned at how dry his mouth felt. The warm body he collided with was not something he was expecting. He willed himself to crack his eyelids open despite the protest in his brain and was met with a mess of tousled curls and a lean, muscular, freckled back. What the hell was going on? He threw himself back the other way and stumbled out of bed to find the bathroom, runned the faucet in the dark and splashed a handful of cold water on his face, as if that would help him clear his mind. It didn't.

What didn’t help either was that, once he walked out, a ray of sunlight caught something that gleamed right in Lin’s eyes. As he looked down, he found himself staring at his left hand completely and utterly dumbfounded. Was that..? A band? On his ring finger? No. No. No. No, no, no. Absolutely not. A plain, unmistakable, gold _wedding_ band. He looked back at the body on the bed, dread creeping down his spine. That was _not_  Alex, the hair was too light, the curls too loose for it to be him, and the shoulders were too broad. His brain supplied to him the word “husband” and all he could think back was a neverending stream of “what the fuck, what the hell, what happened, who is that, WHERE’S LAC?” and a variety of swears that would have made even the most weathered sailor blush. He could see a hand near the pillows and he felt a million rocks fall in the pit of his stomach when he saw a matching ring on the man’s ring finger. That stuff only happened in movies, right?

He tried to reason with himself. It wasn’t because they both sported matching rings on their ring fingers that they were necessarily married to each other, was it? For all he knew, he could have married someone else entirely (please let it be Lac, at least it’d be easy to laugh it off and sort out as soon as they got back to the safety and familiarity of New York), and have already been committing adultery or something equally as reassuring. He could deal with “cheating” on Lac. Being married to a perfect stranger? Not so much.

Surely enough, as he was being sucked into a spiral of thoughts, each one more terrible than the last, the man in the bed started waking up. Oh hell. He seemed disoriented for a minute, half pushing himself up and Lin’s breath caught in his throat when the thin sheet slid down his chest. Damn it all to fucking hell. The stranger was handsome. And not just cutest guy on campus level of handsome. Good enough to be in a magazine kind of handsome. They locked eyes. Holy fuck.

Lin had read plenty of books in his life. Had read stuff like “her eyes were of the purest blue he had ever seen” or “his eyes resembled the color of the sky” and Lin had _always_ scoffed at how ridiculous they were. But this guy? Holy shit, Lin’s brain couldn’t come up with anything better than to say that his eyes were indeed the color of the sky. He didn't know whether he should be paying more attention to the very insistent hammer on his skull, the blush high on his cheeks, the water dripping down his naked chest, or the dude in his bed. Maybe the safest route was to backtrack in the bathroom. Maybe if he took a cold shower, he’d come back out to the room he was sharing with Lac (which was definitely not the one he was standing in right then).

“You look like you just saw Jesus walk on water. Um. Everything alright?”

Alright? _ALRIGHT?_  Everything was clearly not alright. Anybody who knew Lin could tell you firsthand how he was always talking, always had something (many things) to say, but as he stood there, faced with such a simple question, he was at a complete loss for words. He let his gaze trail down to the man’s hand and lifted his own to let the sunshine reflect off of it. The other man frowned in confusion, not fully sure he understood where this was going. Lin huffed in frustration before he pointed at the guy’s hand, making him look down. Lin saw, clear as day, the realization dawn upon the beautiful face in front of him and his features were suddenly as stunned as his own.

“Wanna ask again if everything’s alright?” Lin asked dryly, trying − and utterly failing − to reign in his temper. In situations like these, Lac would have known straight away that the sarcasm making itself known in Lin’s voice was bad news. It meant that Lin was very close to a complete freak out, whether it was in anger or panic depended on the situation at hand. Panic had the upper hand in that moment.

He watched as the other recoiled slightly.

“I… what the hell.” Softly, but not freaking out. “What do we do now?” The other man asked.

“If I knew, I wouldn't be on the verge of a panic attack in a hotel room with a stranger I just married. No offence, I like what I’m seeing, just, you know, not in this context?”

“None taken. We… I… I think I’m too hungover, maybe altogether still too drunk, to deal with this. Maybe we didn’t get married to each other?” He said, sounding an awful lot hopeful for someone in his predicament. Lin could tell he was trying to convince himself, that was his way of keeping calm.

“Alright, alright, let’s not panic, we can figure this out? Probably? Hopefully? Can I get your name, nice to meet you?” Lin asked, willing his voice not to sound overly cold or angry. He clearly was gonna have to spend at least some time in this guy’s company, making an enemy out of him was probably not the best strategy.

“Jon… Jonathan Groff,” he stammered. “How about you?”

“Lin-Manuel. Just call me Lin. Last name’s Miranda. Or Miranda-Groff, I guess.” He couldn't recall a more awkward introduction in his 26 years of life so far.

Jonathan nodded slowly. “Nice to meet you,” he supplied before rubbing his forehead. “I’m sorry, I… I really can’t think clearly right now. Do… Do you…” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Do you mind if we get some more sleep?” Jonathan asked, sounding so hesitant that Lin’s heart ached for him.

Lin silently agreed and stepped forward to the bed before a thought, an absolutely chilling thought, occurred to him and he stopped dead in his tracks. “Wait. How old are you?”

“21…? Why?” Jonathan wondered out loud.

“Oh, thank God,” Lin breathed out before moving again. He ran a hand through his short hair in relief.

“Why?” Jonathan prompted again and Lin raised an eyebrow at him.

“Because I’m 26 and I wasn’t exactly looking forward to having to explain that my… my _husband_  wasn’t even legal yet?!” Lin would never admit to his voice reaching an abnormal high-pitch on the last word. Over. His. Dead. Body.

“I don’t think they would have let us get married if I hadn’t been,” Jonathan offered, trying to sound reassuring. (He wasn't.)

“Who knows. This is Vegas,” Lin replied, shrugging. “I’m going to kill Lac,” he muttered under his breath as he got in the bed.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, just go back to sleep,” Lin said.

Unsurprisingly, Lin didn’t get more sleep. He was the type of guy who, once awake, was up for good and that was it, even if it meant getting nothing more than four hours of sleep that night. That, and he wasn’t exactly calm enough to simply fall asleep. His mind was running a million miles a minute as he slipped back under the covers (that was better than standing). He didn't fail to notice on the way that he still had underwear on and he'd never been this thankful for briefs. Jonathan, on the other hand, didn’t seem to have the same kind of forever-awake problem. Lin had half a mind to resent him for being able to sleep in such crazy times, but he figured it wasn’t exactly fair of him so he let it go, focusing his energy on his surroundings instead.

He figured he should probably try and find out where he was, how to get a hold of Lac so he could ask him how he'd let him marry a stranger in Vegas, and how to get back to his own hotel so that he could at least get a change of clothes. As he was pondering that, he turned around to face the sleeping mass next to him. He had to give it up for himself, though. Drunk Lin had a good taste in men. And by good, he meant “absolutely phenomenal.” He decided that it wouldn't hurt much to steal a glance or two (or eight) of his husband. _Husband_. What the hell. Jonathan had incredibly luscious locks, as disheveled as they were in this moment. Although maybe he was always going for this “woke up like this” style, so perhaps this was his daily look. Either way, Lin was in awe.

He had an innocent face, peaceful if you could ignore the slight frown on his forehead – probably due to the hangover or the fact that he'd woken up married. He was sleeping on his side, with a hand under the pillow and the other one resting on his waist. It was warm enough (or he didn't have the _présence d’esprit_ ) that he didn't bother pulling the sheets up, so they were bunched up on his hip, giving Lin a perfect view of his toned body. He had exquisite arms and Lin knew he would never have such a finely muscled torso – who had that much time on their hands to work out anyways? Not him, that was for sure. He was a writer, not an athlete. Jonathan’s chest was hairless in a way that let Lin suppose that it was just how he was, he probably didn't even have to do anything about it. He definitely liked what he was seeing.

His mind took a moment to reminisce of the boys he had found himself slightly infatuated with in college. He’d always filed them as unimportant crushes, but he did know full well why rehearsal was his favourite part of going to an arts school – he could use writing musicals and volunteering to play piano accompaniments as an excuse to watch the dancers rehearse. So maybe it made sense, after all. Maybe picking up someone like Jonathan when he was blackout drunk and marrying him was just the next logical step. He didn't think relevant to ponder the matter any further.

After a few restless minutes (which felt like a lifetime to Lin), the vague thought of Lac came back to his consciousness and he set to find his phone and as many of his belongings as possible so he could contact him. He slipped out of bed and found a heap of clothes on the floor. He recognized his black pants and a polo shirt bunched under what seemed like appropriate wedding apparel – dress pants, was-probably-crisp button down, tie and blazer, the whole set. He had enough imagination to picture Jon wearing this and looking absolutely stunning in it. His phone was in his pocket with his wallet, which was really the bare minimum. He could survive with these two items. He checked the tiny screen of his flip phone and saw that he had 8 missed calls and 3 voicemails from “LacketyLac”.

_Lin? Where did you run off to? Call me back._

_Beep!_

_Lin? This isn’t funny man. Where the fuck are you?_

_Beep!_

_Lin, I swear to fucking God, if you’re laying in a shady motel room’s bathtub with a missing kidney I’m going to hunt your fucking ass down and kill you myself. CALL. ME. BACK._

_Beep!_

Lin gulped. If Alex had sounded increasingly concerned in the first two messages, he sounded downright angry in the last one. He wasn't sure whether he really wanted to talk to him or actually avoid him for the rest of forever, but Lac was probably worried about him, so he took a deep breath and dialed the familiar number. The call got picked up almost immediately.

“Lin? Is that you? Where the hell have you been, man? Please tell me you're alright!” The voice at the other end of the phone call came out equal parts tense and worried. Someone who didn't know him might have heard a bit of anger colouring his words but Lin knew it was mostly relief.

“Hey, dude, I’m… um. I’m fine. Not actually sure what hotel I’m at, I don't remember most of last night, and it feels like someone’s drilling holes in my skull but overall I think I’m good?”

“Thank god. You had me so worried, can you not do that to me again when we're across the damn country? What happened to you? Where’d you go, man?”

Lin took a second or two to word his own reply. “Actually, yeah, I kinda was hoping you’d be able to answer that one for me, fill me in, you know, but apparently that won't be the case, huh? I woke up… married. I think. Most likely.” A beat. “To another dude.”

Despite the generally bad quality of the call, he could almost feel Alex drop his head into his hands, because it was equal parts unbelievable and, if he had to bet on that happening to any of his friends, he would have bet on Lin in a heartbeat. But mostly that just sounded like the type of shit that only happened in movies, and Lin knew that.

“Please at least tell me he’s cute?”

“Oh, man, he is the most handsome guy I’ve ever seen. Sorry to break it to you but he beats the Cuban Dreamboat that you are. Straight up he’s probably a model kind of cute. No idea how that happened. I think he’s still drunk so, he just went right back to sleep. Yo, what do I do? Help a guy out, yeah? Why’d you let me do something this stupid?” He asked in despair.

“Why did _I_  let you do something this stupid?” Alex repeated incredulously. “I was playing the slots, enjoying a drink with you right there and next thing I know, you had disappeared! I swear, next time, I might just put a leash on you.”

“Wouldn’t be a bad idea,” Lin muttered under his breath.

“Can you at least let me know where you’re at so I can come pick you up?” Alex’s voice crackled through the receiver.

“Uhh yeah, gimme a sec, I’m kind of not wearing clothes right now.” Lin put the phone on the nearest desk and scrambled in his pants, pulled his shirt on and grabbed his phone back up.

“Not the kind of things I want to hear, Miranda.” _Especially not after you just got married_  was left unsaid.

“Okay hey, I still had underwear on when I woke up. That's good, right?” Lin tried to lighten the mood and failed miserably. “I don't know about him though, didn't have the courage to check under the blanket.”

“Just, just go to the reception and tell me what damn hotel you’re at, will ya?”

Lin made straight for the door until the desk in a corner of the room caught his attention. Didn’t hotels usually come with stationary and all that? He spun on his heels and made his way to it, Lac still talking in his ear. He rummaged through the stuff on it and let out a small cry of victory when he found a pad of paper with the hotel’s logo at the top. Remembering his husband, he checked to make sure he hadn’t woken him up and the soft snore that came out of the man was evidence that he hadn’t.

“Okay, okay.“ Lin paused when the name finally made sense in his mind. _Holy. Fucking. Shit._  “The Bellagio,” he breathed. “Lac! I can’t afford the fucking Bellagio!” Lin whispered-screamed in the receiver, panic rising in his chest once again.

There was a pause on the end of the line. “Well… I suppose you could have picked worse for your wedding night?” Lac offered and it took every bit of Lin’s willpower not to start screaming. “What room?”

“Do you seriously think I know?” Lin asked. “I was _drunk_! It’s a miracle we even found ourselves in a room!”

Alex sighed exasperatedly. “The door, Lin. It’s written on the door.”

Lin blinked stupidly for a minute. “Right,” he said as he started for the door. Lac chuckled and Lin huffed. “Shut up, there’s still a demolition crew in my skull right now,” he hissed which had for only effect to make Lac laugh even more. “1216,” Lin supplied after he quietly opened and closed the door.

“Perfect, on my way,” Lac said and Lin could hear the ruffling of clothes on the other end.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Lin exclaimed and Alex stopped in his tracks.

“What? Why?”

“Because my _husband_  is sleeping! He doesn’t even know me! How would you feel if you woke up hungover, married to a stranger with a second stranger in your room? Our lives are fucked up enough as it is, give us at least a chance to talk this out first.”

“Fine,” Lac sighed. “But if I don’t hear from you by the end of the day, I swear to God, I’m tearing the fucking place apart myself.”

“I don’t think the good people of Las Vegas will approve, but sure, whatever you say, LacketyLac.”

After he hung up with Lac, Lin grew restless quickly. He had never been a fan of standing still, mostly because he always felt like there was a better use of his time. He settled on taking a shower because at least then he would be doing _something_.

He went back to the bathroom and grabbed a few towels, planning on getting them within reach of the shower but stopped short when his brain registered their quality – they were probably the biggest and softest towels he'd ever touched and, holy fuck, how did they end up at the fucking Bellagio of all places?! (So much for using the shower as a way to calm down before Jonathan woke up again when all he could focus on was the price tag that came with a place like this.)

After his shower (dammit, even the water pressure here was amazing), Lin half-hoped that Jonathan would be awake. When that proved not to be the case, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He really needed to get a change of clothes, but in the meantime he put yesterday’s outfit back on and went to the lobby to grab some coffee. Coffee always made everything better. He tried not to marvel at the sheer majesty of the hotel as he trekked down the halls. Deep breath, Lin. He made a mental note to talk to Jonathan about how to split the price of the room at some point when they were both awake and slightly less under the weather.

A half hour later, he got confirmation that the check-out time for the hotel was at 11:00 AM. This meant they were gonna have to hurry this up. Lin poured two cups of coffee, grabbed a few creamers and some sugar and made his way back upstairs. He hated waking other people up, but this was somewhat of an out-of-the-ordinary situation, so really he couldn’t be blamed. Back upstairs, Lin was faced with yet another problem that he hadn’t seen coming: his hands were full, and he could see no staff around whom he could’ve asked for help to open his door. Could this day be getting any worse, really? He put the cups down, scrambled through his pockets to get the room key he’d stored in his wallet upon leaving and quietly unlocked the door before walking in with the coffees. He felt as if 8 coffees wouldn’t cut even close to making his life easier - that was how much of a mess he was in, and it wasn’t even 9 in the morning.

Inside, he put the mugs down on the desk, looking longingly at them for a second before he resolved himself to wake up Jonathan. Lin walked to the bed and sat on the edge of it, by Jonathan’s side, and reached out to shake his shoulder gently.

“Jonathan,” he said quietly. “Come on, buddy. Wake up.”

The curly-haired man groaned and seemed to bury himself deeper into his pillow and the mattress, which, while it was the cutest thing Lin had ever witnessed, wasn’t really helping them right now.

“Look, I’m really sorry, but I got coffee?” Lin said apologetically. “We just, we should really talk before check-out, which is in two hours from now.”

Jonathan made a comically non-committing sound and Lin felt like this was some sort of improvement. He sighed, shook his head and gave him a stronger shake wondering if this was what his life was going to be like from now on. Hold on. _FROM NOW ON?!?!_  He mentally slapped himself, because this was not happening, nuh-uh, no way. He was here to focus on how to get _out_  of this marriage, not how to make it work, for fuck’s sake.

“Jonathan, please, I really need you to help me out here. I’m trying to help both of us out. I’m a hungover wreck too but like, I’m going back to New York City tomorrow, we don’t exactly have time to chill?” _And I can’t afford a second night here, that’s for sure_ , he added to himself.

At those words, Jonathan’s beautifully clear blue eyes popped open as much as they could when you were feeling the way he was then, which, all things considered, meant that he was squinting rather dramatically. He would have glared, if he could, and Lin saw that.

“What did you just say?” Jonathan mumbled.

“Uh.. Which part? Needing you to help me out? Having a plane to catch?”

“New York. You live in New York? I live in New York, too. What the hell.”

Lin stared at him for a moment, slowly raising an eyebrow. “What… How… Why… What are the odds of that?”

“I wanna say kinda slim? But also,” he groaned, “don’t expect me to math right now. No brain function. You said coffee. Where’s the coffee? I need copious amounts of coffee.”

Lin handed him the cup, which felt absolutely perfect, temperature-wise. It had had time to cool down just a tiny bit, so at least it wouldn’t burn Jonathan when he took his first sip. Which Jonathan sipped, and an incredible amount of tension escaped out of his body. He hummed in response and cradled the cup between both hands, inhaling the comforting smell rising through the lid. Coffee really did wonders to the human body. Lin smiled fondly.

“So, I’m not the only caffeine addict in this room, then?” Lin asked with a teasing smile.

“It comes with working on Broadway, really.”

Lin almost fell off the bed in shock. Caught the cup in his hands just in time before it tipped all over Jonathan.

“I’m sorry what?”

“Oh, yeah. Uh, I’m a Broadway actor. Actually, my first real Broadway role is opening next month, so I’m taking a last vacation here… before… I don’t know when I’ll be able to take a vacation again…” The air in the room suddenly felt a bit thicker but Lin couldn’t quite figure out why. He let it go for now, filed it for later.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Uh… No? Why?”

“My friend, Lac, and I, are here to celebrate the fact that investors just picked up the musical I wrote in college to be Off-Broadway. I guess you could say I write musicals for a living. So yeah. He dragged me to Las Vegas to celebrate. And now you’re telling me I blackout-drunk married a _fucking Broadway actor_. What the hell.”

Jonathan gaped at him in surprise. He took a few seconds to remember how his voice worked. “Well, those odds we were talking about? Just got incredibly slimmer in… Thirty seconds flat? That kind of math I sure can do. And I’m pretty sure these odds are absolutely impossible. I’m positive. I don’t swear a lot, usually, but the only thing I can think of right now is _what the actual fuck_.”

“You and me both, honey,” Lin said, his mouth getting way ahead of his brain, which was something that happened to him way more frequently than he wished it did.

Jonathan raised an eyebrow at him and Lin scrambled to find an excuse. In the end, he went for the truth. “My mouth sometimes says things that were not previously approved by my brain?”

Jonathan laughed, which eased some of the tension off of Lin’s shoulders. “So… What do we do now?” Jonathan asked and Lin pouted.

“Hey, yo. Not fair. I was gonna ask you the same thing.”

Jonathan shrugged in an adorable way that Lin could only describe as meaning “Whatcha gonna do about it?” Lin’s mind added a _stud_  at the end of it in the best imitation of Sandy it could provide. He should rewatch Grease once he got home. He mentally shook himself, trying to come back to the present and the problem at hand. Although, if he was honest with himself, being married to Jonathan Groff was a beautiful problem to have. Every passing minute made it look like less of a problem, actually. Or maybe it was the coffee. Or the fact that his head was only pounding in the distance instead of in the space behind his eyes. _Maybe it’s both, ya goof,_  his brain supplied.

“Lin?” Jonathan questioned and Lin could swear the world had either stopped spinning, tilted off its axis or imploded as soon as he heard his name falling off these beautiful lips. He was pretty certain he had never heard his name sound this way before and he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to hear it any other way.

Lin gave Jonathan a smile that he hoped was reassuring. “Well, I suppose that depends on what we want.” At his husband's confused expression, Lin went on: “The way I see it, we have three options. We either get an annulment, a divorce or… Or we just stay married and wing it, I guess.”

Jonathan nodded slowly, breathing out a soft “Oh” as he looked down to his coffee. He brought the mug to his lips and took a slow sip, looking more like he wanted to delay having to answer than anything else.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Lin said, reaching out to cover one of Jonathan’s hand with his own. “No matter what we decide, I'm right here, okay Jonathan? I'm with you and I'm not about to let you deal with this on your own. They say it takes two to tango. I'm pretty sure the same thing applies to marriage.”

“Jon…”

“What?” Lin asked, frowning.

“Call me Jon, like everybody else does, please.”

“Oh. Of course, Jon.” He let the name roll off his tongue, carve itself a home in his mouth.

Lin thought for a second that he might just die on the spot. He didn't know what had happened in his past, but Jon looked so dejected that Lin wanted nothing more than to pull the younger man to him and hug him while he whispered sweet nothings into his ear. Frustrated by the fact that holding hot coffee mugs meant that he couldn't physically offer comfort to Jonathan, Lin reached out to put his mug down on the nightstand and he quickly moved on the bed so he sat next to Jon, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“You know what? Let's put this on the back burner for now. I'll call my friend Lac so he can meet us here, you go take a shower and we'll go get some breakfast. Did you come here with a friend? Is there someone you want me to call for you? Have them meet with us at a restaurant?” Lin asked, going in full protective husband mode. He was good at this. He was the worst at taking care of himself, but going to the end of the world and back in the name of his friends’ happiness? That he knew how to do.

“I… No, I came alone,” Jon said quietly. “Just something I needed to check off my bucket list, I guess.” Lin frowned in confusion, but didn’t ask for more information. If Jon wanted to tell him, he would so in his own time. Lin wasn’t about to force him into doing anything.

“Ok. That… That makes this a little easier, I guess.” Lin squeezed Jon’s shoulder and gave him a smile. “Come on. Go take that shower. We’ll go get a healthy breakfast, or whatever you’re into, and we’ll figure this out. I’ll be right here when you come out, I promise,” Lin added with a smile.

Jon nodded and carefully moved to get out of bed. Lin couldn't help the relief that flooded him when he saw that Jon had also been wearing boxers all along. He would be lying to himself, though, if he pretended that he didn't unashamedly ogled Jon’s ass as he disappeared in the bathroom. Lin used Jon’s absence to call Alex back. He managed to get him to bring a whole new set of clothes and his toiletries bag (a guy’s gotta keep it fresh), then Lac said he'd be there in a half an hour. Lin could use that time to run downstairs and get more coffee before he tried and figured out a plan of action for the day. With the amount he was sure to have to pay for this room anyways, might as well go to town on the free coffee, and this way he’d be slightly more fuelled for when Jon was gonna come out of that shower.

Lin got lost in his whirling, coffee-influenced, never-ending thoughts while waiting for his partner in crime and business to get to the hotel and get him out of his yesterday-worn outfit, until he heard the creak of the bathroom door opening. A flustered, crisp clean, dripping wet Jon came out wearing (as far as Lin could tell), nothing but the deluxe Bellagio towel. As if that was an okay thing to do.

“There’s a thing I thought about while showering.” Jon said, flat.

“Hm?” Lin made a noise equally out of surprise and to encourage him to go on.

“Your friend isn't here yet, is he?” His eyes swooped the empty room but he didn’t know if Lin had contacted him yet.

“Nah, he’s on his way but he’s probably gonna call me before he comes barging into this room. Why?” Lin tried not to let his thoughts run too far, but it was kind of hard when he had a half naked Broadway-certified actor with muscles to make people cry standing in front of him like that. Focus, Lin, god dammit.

“Can I do something real quick?” And the question felt rhetorical, mostly because as he was saying that, Jon took a few strides to get to the side of the bed where Lin was laying down. He looked down at him and took in a sharp breath, his hand reaching to tilt Lin’s chin up. There was determination in his eyes, a focus and a fire that definitely weren't there pre-coffee and pre-shower. There was also a small frown between his eyebrows that betrayed a hint of insecurity, like he was really looking for permission, so Lin did his best to silently convey that wherever this was going, he was _down_.

And Jon bent down and kissed him. A ridiculous image of Sleeping Beauty came to Lin’s mind and seriously, could his brain pick a better timing? Although in hindsight, Lin would say that his brain had indeed picked the perfect time for such an image. Jon’s kiss did feel like it pulled Lin out of a slumber. A slumber that had lasted for the past 26 years of his life. Lin fleetingly thought that if these were the only pair of lips he ever got to kiss ever again, he would definitely die a happy man. He pushed himself up from the bed with one elbow, and into Jon’s lips. He used his other hand to reach up and settle on the back of Jon’s neck. There was a roughness to the kiss to which he wasn't used, but he'd also never felt more comfortable. He relished all control and let himself _feel_. The insistence of Jon’s face against his own. The pressure of his lips against his own. The solid presence of his hands cradling both sides of his face. The barely-there but unmistakable feeling of a morning-after stubble on Jon’s upper lip. Lin let out a soft moan without having any chance to swallow it back and Jon’s hold on his face seemed to tighten for a second before the magic was broken by a sharp knock on the door.

Both men pulled apart, an audible displeased groan coming from… Lin couldn’t even tell if it came from him, Jon or the both of them.

“That… That’s probably Lac…” Lin whispered, breathless.

Jon nodded, forehead pressed against Lin’s, not quite kissing him anymore but not quite parted either. They were breathing into each other. Jon’s gaze was both far away and incredibly grounding, and then he pulled away as the darkness of his eyes told Lin he really would rather stay right where they were.

“I better go get dressed then,” he said and Lin had half a mind to beg him not to.

Alex deserved to wait in the hallway for such an untimely interruption, but Lin knew they were on a tight schedule so he stopped himself from saying anything and let his hand slide down Jon’s bare arm as he moved back upright. They let their hands brush and Lin felt the slight squeeze that Jon gave him before turning around. As he looked to the bathroom door, a thought suddenly made its way to the forefront of his clouded brain – he did not have a change of clothes any more than Lin did. He resolved to grab his garments from the heap on the floor where they’d left everything the night prior, looking sheepish.

Lin let himself fall back down on the mattress with a sigh, giving himself a minute to put his thoughts back in order. There was another knock on the door and Lin got up with a groan. He made sure the bathroom door was closed before he opened the other one, glaring at Lac with all of his might.

“Worst. Timing. Ever. For a composer, this is appalling, dude.”

Alex raised an eyebrow in question and Lin realized maybe he could have washed his foot before he stuffed it in his mouth. He didn't actually want to follow up on that comment.

“Hello to you too, dear friend of mine who disappeared on me in a completely foreign city in the middle of the night without so much as a warning only to reappear married the next morning,” Alex said pointedly and dammit, Lin knew Alex was trying to guilt-trip him and it was fucking working. He also knew that he deserved every ounce of it.

“Sorry, yes, hi Lac.”

“Much better. So, when can I meet the lucky pal who’s managed to tie you down?”

As if on cue, the bathroom door opened and Jon stepped out. Alex looked at him and then back at Lin immediately, a playful smile on his lips.  

“I knew you had a thing for curly-haired guys. That's why you picked me as your composer of choice in college, right?” Lin also probably deserved that blow. He didn't blush any less, though.

Jon frowned at the interaction. Were they supposed to be friends or…? Jon stepped forward, drawing himself to his full height. If he had a say in this, no one would ever speak to his husband this way ever again.

“Hello,” Jon said coldly. “Jonathan Groff,” he added as an introduction, thrusting his hand forward.

Alex’s eyes grew wide for a second and he shook the offered hand, casting a sidelong glance towards Lin at the same time. Alex had been working around Broadway for a year already and Jonathan’s name was not unknown to him. He couldn’t say he had heard the kid sing or seen him perform, but he was definitely aware that he was a rising star. And several years younger than both Lin and himself. And territorial, apparently.

“Alex Lacamoire,” Alex supplied and it took a few seconds more than necessary for Jon to finally let go of his hand. Alex resisted massaging his hand from Jon’s almost painful grip and Lin jumped in, sensing the tension build up.

“Yes so! Breakfast, yes? I’m starving. Aren’t you?”

“Definitely,” Jon said and was it Lin’s imagination or had he just totally and unabashedly checked him out? Whatever this was, developing between him and Jon, Lin could get behind. He could also appreciate Jon going all protective on his ass. That was strangely enjoyable.

Alex interjected. “Wait up, Lin, didn't you want to change out of this outfit before getting the rest of the day going? Isn't that the reason you got me to trek all the way out here?”

“Oh shit, right, yes. Yes. Thanks, man”, Lin dropped, and grabbed the bag out of Alex’s hands.

He suddenly wasn't so sure he wanted to leave the two of them alone but hey, he was really due for clean clothes. He'd be quick. He closed the bathroom door behind him and unzipped the bag open. It was fall in Vegas too but it tended to get pretty warm during daytime, especially compared to the chill New York weather. Lac had had the mind to bring him a sweater to cover all options. Otherwise, it was a pair of jeans and a too-tight black wife-beater that he'd meant to wear as pajamas and was definitely not what he was going for as the first day with his husband. God dammit, Lacamoire. Lin couldn't decide whether Alex genuinely didn't know that Lin didn't wear stuff like that in public, if he purposefully wanted to sexualize him, or if he thought it'd be funny to embarrass him in Vegas. Oh well. He made a quick change of it, stuffed his worn stuff in the bag, and made sure to zip up the hoodie, hoping it'd be chill enough out to keep it this way.

When he came out of the bathroom, he was caught in the middle of a staring battle between Jon and Alex. Uh oh.

“Someone cares to explain what’s going on here? Am I interrupting? Shall I get back in there so y’all can finish whatever this is?”

“We're fine. Let’s get ourselves checked out of here, yeah?” Jon offered, unreadable.

Lin heard Alex huff audibly and shot him a stare that hopefully conveyed something along the lines of ‘don't start shit with my husband just yet, you asshole’. He turned to Jon when he felt his hand on the back of his arm. Protective. Alright.

“Yeah, actually, about that? How are we paying for this hell of a hotel? We clearly can't trust drunk us with decision-making,” Lin joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Uh, let's just put it on my credit card for now, we can figure out how to split it when we're back in New York, if anything,” Jon offered.

“Are you sure it’s okay? I mean, I appreciate the gesture, I just don’t want to put you in a weird position?”

Jon raised an eyebrow. “I’m sure. We’ll look into it when my statement reaches my kitchen table. Let’s get outta here.”

Lin probably wouldn't admit it out loud but authoritative Jon was quickly becoming his favourite. He beelined for the door and made sure that Alex was following in tow. Once in the elevator, Jon ducked down to talk in Lin’s ear.

“Actually, could we make one last stop before breakfast? I’d also like to change out of this. I’m feeling way overdressed and kinda grimey…” he whispered.

Lin looked at him and the pleading look in Jon’s eyes destroyed whatever objection Lin could have possibly formed. That look had the power to put an end to wars and make Lin do Jon’s biddings at the drop of a hat.

Lin nodded. “Yeah, for sure,” he replied quietly before he raised his voice to address his friend. “Yo, Lac, we're gonna grab breakfast around Jon’s hotel, alright? It’s only fair he gets to change, too.”

“Sounds good to me, yeah,” Alex replied. Lin knew he could be warmer than that but it was still better than the straight up cold front he’d put on earlier.

They made their way through to the front desk, let Jon handle the paperwork and trekked outside to hail a cab. Lin ended up sandwiched between the two of them for what felt like several lifetimes at best.

Once they made it to Jon’s hotel, Jon went straight for the elevators and Lin wasn't too sure whether he should stay in the lobby with Alex and find a brunch place, or follow Jon upstairs. They were married, after all, might as well get to know each other? The insistent look Jon shot behind him was unequivocal.

“Can you… could you find a place to eat around here? I'll be right back?” Lin said, apologetically.

He received an incredulous stare from his friend but Alex knew better than to blatantly question Lin so he whooshed him away and nodded. Lin caught up with Jon by the elevator.

“Alright, what was that about? Why do I feel like there's a war raging between my best friend and my husband? Y’all don't even know each other?”

Jon ran a hand through his hair, his air of over-assertion all but melting away. “I don't really know? I felt… really threatened by him. You two have history, that's clear to me, and the way he talked down to you, I didn't like it?”

That answer took Lin by surprise. Jealousy, really? He let out a chuckle to diffuse the tension and they stepped out of the elevator but didn't move much further down the hall.

“Oh my god, Jon, not at all. We’ve been friends since college, we’ve worked together for nearly a decade by now. But god, no, Alex isn't into dudes at all, we just know each other more than anyone else at this point. Playful jabs, nothing more, man. Hey. Hey.” He grabbed Jon’s face between his hands. “You've got nothing to worry about. I promise.”

Jon closed his eyes and breathed in. “Okay. Oh god, I’m so sorry. I made things weird, didn't I?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and made his way down the hall.

“What? No, it's fine, nothing that a quick conversation won't fix.”

Lin surprised himself at how much he actually cared about fixing whatever misunderstanding was hanging in the air between Jon and Alex. He followed Jon to his room and through the door, closing it behind him and resting his back against it once inside.

“Actually, hey, there’s something else I wanna talk about? I mean, I’ve got another question for you.”

Jon looked up from his bag and glanced to Lin’s direction. “Go on?”

“Why did you kiss me?” Lin asked bluntly. “Not that I’m mad or anything,” he quickly added. “Just curious, that’s all.”

Jon stilled and straightened up, running a hand through his hair and Lin could swear he saw him tug a fistful of it. He didn't let himself think through the end of his “filing this away for later” thought. He’d just asked a pretty heavy question and times were not about that kind of thoughts.

“You want the truth?” Jon asked as he turned to face Lin. He nodded in response and Lin had the distinct feeling of a wall suddenly being put up between the two of them, as if Jon wanted to protect himself from harm that could come his way. “Celebrating my Broadway debut is just… A small part of the reason why I came here.” Jon squared his shoulders and Lin noticed him shuffling his feet as if to ground himself. “I was diagnosed with skin cancer a couple of weeks ago.”

Lin audibly gulped, trying to stop his mind from reeling and force himself to listen as Jon went on.

“I figured… I don’t know. I figured I’d check things off of a bucket list I didn’t even know I had. Didn’t even know I had to have until two weeks ago. I thought I had time to figure everything out. Turns out, I might not. So, I’m just… Seizing every moment that passes and trying to enjoy them to the fullest.”

“Jon… I…”

“Don’t,” Jon interrupted him. “For all I know, I’m just… having a midlife crisis if you will. I have an appointment with another doctor next week, to decide on a course of action and all that.” Jon swallowed and looked down, closing his eyes as a small frown formed itself between his brows. The silence grew heavy between them and Lin hated it, hated everything about Jon’s confession really.

“I’ll go with you,” Lin declared and Jon’s head snapped back up, his blue eyes burning into his own. “If you want me to, that is,” he added on an after-thought.

Jon bit his lip and nodded. Just like that, Lin could feel Jon’s defences crumble down and he moved forward pulling him into a hug. Jon melted into it, burying his face in the crook of Lin’s neck.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here. You’re not gonna be alone in this, I promise,” Lin whispered trying to sound as reassuring as he could while he rubbed his back. “I just… I have to ask, dude. You get diagnosed with skin cancer and your first idea is to come to Las Vegas? In the middle of the desert? You do know the sun is a cause of skin cancer right?”

Jon let out a small laugh and pulled away so he could look at Lin. Lin vowed right on the spot that he would always do everything in his power to make him laugh again and again.

“I’m from Lancaster, most people don’t even leave Pennsylvania. So living in New York? Going on a vacation in Las Vegas? There’s a novelty to it that very few of us get to live.” Jon sighed and forced a smile before he stepped away from Lin’s embrace. “You don’t have to do anything though. I can’t ask you to go through that with me, this isn’t fair to you, you deserve better than being married to a…” _Dead man walking, condemned convict, prisoner on the death row_ , Jon’s mind supplied. “Cancer patient,” he said instead, almost choking on the words.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Lin said, raising his hands as if to block Jon. “I’m gonna stop you right there. You’re gonna get changed, we’re gonna go get breakfast with Lac, tomorrow we’re flying back to New York…” He stopped himself and cocked his head to the side. “Wait. When are you supposed to leave Vegas and fly home?”

Jon blinked slowly. Those fucking odds again. “Tomorrow actually…”

“Great!” Lin exclaimed with a bounce and a smile, clapping his hands together. “So, as I was saying, tomorrow we’re gonna fly back to New York and then…”

“And then what, Lin? Just resume our lives as a married couple? Not only that, but as a _gay_  married couple? Lin! I get it, this is Vegas, but our marriage is not even legal in most of this country!”

Lin paused at that. “We could always move to Canada?” He suggested, only half kidding.

“Canada?” Jon said clearly judging his suggestion. “Lin. You’re going to have a show opening Off-Broadway soon. I have a show opening _on_  Broadway in a month. We would both be miserable in Canada,” Jon stated.

“Yeah… I guess we’d have to play hockey too? But my family’s from Puerto Rico, I don’t do cold very well, you see. Like. At all. New York is the coldest I can deal with. And even there, in the middle of winter? Most of the time, all I can think is ‘Fuck this shit!’ and I go visit my abuela as many times and for as long as I can. I can’t even ice skate, let alone play hockey. How does one even go about doing something like that? I can barely run without falling, let alone put myself up on tiny metal sticks to go dance along the most slippery surface there is,” Lin started rambling and Jon just watched in amazement as he went on and on.

“Lin!” Jon cut and the ice skating rant finally stopped. “Focus, please?”

“Right. Sorry, I tend to ramble a lot. My attention span is pretty short,” Lin apologized and Jon smiled before he finally remembered the whole reason why they were here in the first place.

Jon grabbed a change of clothes and moved toward the bathroom to change, leaving the door opened ajar so they could keep talking. Lin didn't deem it acceptable to peek in, but the envy was definitely there.

“That doesn’t answer my question as to what we're gonna do once we’re in New York. Or what we gotta do about our marriage for that matter,” Jon said as he started undressing. He didn't want to admit it, but he could actually see himself carry it through. They'd only formally known each other for what, a mere two hours? He couldn't tell if it was his rational brain or the bucket list talking but whatever Lin and himself had going on was good. Really good.

“Well… I guess that we could go see if we can get an annulment this afternoon? If that doesn’t work then… Then I guess we look for divorce attorneys in NYC? Although, you said it yourself, our marriage is not even legal everywhere, it might not even be recognized in New York. So we might not even have to worry about it for a while. Who knows marriage laws? Not me. As for what we can do in the broader sense of the term… I guess… I mean, we could be friends? Right? Hang out, grab a beer, laugh with our friends about that one time we got crazy drunk and got married to a complete stranger, talk about those fucking odds, man, you know, that sort of thing.” This time, he did let his mind wander a bit further. Maybe they could actually get to know each other, support each other like couples did. There was something about Jon that kept Lin going and made him yearn to be a better person for him. But he didn't wanna appear like some type of crazy guy, so he kept his mouth shut and left it at the friendship thing.

“That doesn’t sound too bad, actually,” Jon said as he walked out of the bathroom, tugging his t-shirt in place and he offered a weary, reassuring smile to Lin. He _was_  an actor, after all, so he knew how to hide whatever disappointment he felt that Lin just wanted to be good buds. The fact that he himself wanted more was probably too intense anyways, so he bottled that up and stored it away.

Lin was just about to keep talking about just how great of an idea that sounded when the hotel phone rang. Both men looked at each other in surprise and Lin, who was closer to the phone, reached for it and Jon nodded, allowing him to take the call.

“Hello?”

“You guys better not be fucking right now,” Lac’s voice came from the receiver. “You’ve been up there for 25 minutes, dude. How long does pretty boy need to change clothes? You better not have been trying to impress him with your stupid ‘Look at me I can open blouses with my teeth and tongue’ trick. Don’t overdo it, man. You’re already married. You don’t have to impress him anymore so get your asses downstairs before I fucking leave you here.”

Lin snorted a laugh. A worked up Alex Lacamoire was, against all odds, that much better than his already great relaxed self, and Lin felt awful for enjoying this, but he was actually having a lot of fun.

“First off, I am now officially calling him pretty boy for the rest of my life. So thanks for that, dude. Second off, I’ll have you know that the tongue trick has been the ace in my pocket ever since freshman year of college. It has helped me score greatly, it’s proven itself a sustainable trick in my ever growing arsenal, and you're just jealous that I can do something you can't,” Lin said conspiratorially, throwing a wink Jon’s way. He didn't fail to notice the blush creeping up high on Jon’s cheeks.

“Will you shut up for once and just get back down here?” Lin could tell that Alex was annoyed more than he was mad at him. He could deal with annoyed.

“Alright, fine. Give us another minute and we're all yours,” he said before hanging up and turning back around to face Jon.

“Pretty boy, huh? Is that what I am to you now?” Jon asked with a smirk hovering on his pink lips, his eyebrows high up on his forehead.

“I mean, if i’m honest, you damn sure are a boy, and definitely incredibly pretty, so yeah, I hope you like that nickname ‘cause I’m sticking with it. You can thank Lac later,” Lin replied while throwing another wink his way. Jon was now dressed much more casually, with jeans that hugged his thighs so nicely and a well-fitting plain t-shirt. Lin was somewhat jealous at how easy it was for Jon to pull plain clothes off, while he was left squirming in a damn tank top and an overly worn hoodie. The sun had already started warming the city up and he knew he was going to have to take layers off before long, and Lac was so mean to him for forcing him to wear something so skimpy around Jon.

After making sure Jon had everything he needed, Lin started toward the door but, before he could reach, Jon’s hand shot out and grabbed his elbow.

“Please don’t tell Lacamoire about my condition?” Jon pleaded quietly. “I… I haven’t told anyone other than you.”

Lin could feel his heart break in a million pieces for him. He couldn’t imagine keeping a secret this big to himself for this long. Had he been in Jon’s shoes, he would have been a complete mess, barely thinking straight. And God knew that was a hard enough feat most days as it was. Lin gave him a reassuring smile and nodded.

“Your secret’s safe with me, pretty boy,” he said and Jon, after thanking him, let go of him so they could walk out of the room and meet Alex.

In reality, Lin was awful with secrets. It wasn’t that he consciously went around to repeat whatever the secret was to everyone he met. It was just that, as he had mentioned earlier that morning, he had a tendency to say things before he could really think them through. That and he was a professional rambler. Mix in his awfully short attention span and this was nothing more than a recipe for disaster. But this? This secret Jon had just entrusted him with? Lin was going to do everything in his power to keep it to himself. And if it meant taping a piece of duct tape over his mouth to keep it in? You could bet he was going to do it.

A brilliant idea came to Lin’s mind when they walked out of the elevator and he swiftly grabbed Jon’s hand, threading their fingers together. He looked as blissful as he could as they approached Alex in the lobby and the latter simply rolled his eyes to the skies while shaking his head before he led them outside. At first, Lin had in mind to let go of Jon’s hand once they had reached Lac, but the light squeeze Lin felt dissuaded him. Then, he thought they’d let go once they’d be on the street, but again, Jon squeezed his hand and Lin dropped the idea of letting go of him.

The restaurant Lac had chosen was only a street and a few buildings over from Jon’s hotel and by the time they had reached it, Lin was mentally begging and praying for air conditioning. One of these days he would find a way to get back at Lac for this evil treachery and his revenge might be even more diabolical than having to wear a hoodie in the desert.

“I would like to apologize for my behavior earlier. It was inappropriate and uncalled for, I’m sorry,” Jon said to Alex as they walked to the restaurant.

Lin had to bite his lip to keep in the laugh that threatened to escape him. He wasn’t sure he had ever heard a proper apology like this one before. Alex looked just as incredulous if the look he threw Lin was any indication.

“What?” Jon asked, a small hint of annoyance tinting his voice.

“Who even apologizes like that anymore?” Alex asked in return.

“My husband, obviously,” Lin chimed in with pride in his voice.

Jon huffed while rolling his eyes. “Look. You’re Lin’s best friend. I’m trying to make things right, here. So, are we good or not?”

“Sure. Apology accepted,” Alex said, shrugging.

Breakfast was, all in all, uneventful. Which was a first in this freakshow of a day. The food was good, Lin probably didn’t need any more coffee in his system but, as it were, it didn’t stop him from drinking another cup. Alex did, however, force him to switch to orange juice at some point. If Jon didn’t know any better yet, Alex certainly did and he swore up and down that he was doing this to preserve his and Jon’s sanity.

“So, what do we do now?” Jon asked as they waited for their table to be cleared, Lin’s hand on his knee grounding him to the moment. He noted somewhere in the back of his mind that, while he felt nervous, Lin’s hand stopped him from uncontrollably bouncing his knee, a tell-tale habit he had.

“What do you mean ‘what do we do’?” Alex repeated, an eyebrow raised incredulously. “We go to the courthouse to get you guys an annulment. There isn’t a million ways to go about this.”

Jon looked down to the mug he had been holding, focusing his gaze on the brown liquid twirling inside. He had let himself forget for a second that in everybody else’s mind, that was the only rational option, even though he had somewhat resolved the issue in his head, and Lin agreed - they were going to wing whatever there was to wing with this marriage. It felt too good not to give it a shot and he couldn’t handle the thought of going back home and never really talking to Lin again. Or never holding his hand, hugging him, kissing him again. Lin happened to glance in his direction when Jon decided to kick back the remainders of his coffee and caught Jon’s grimace as he swallowed it. Cold coffee. One of the world’s greatest evils.

“Do we have to?” Lin interjected sensing that Jon was closing himself up by the second. ‘By the millisecond’, actually, was more accurate in Lin’s opinion.

“Yes,” Alex said categorically. “If you don’t wanna check it out for yourself or _pretty boy_  over here, that’s fine. But at least do it for your mom who’s gonna kick your ass for getting married without her being present.”

Lin winced loudly. Lac was right. His mother was going to kill him. Or at the very least give him an earful in the way only Puerto Ricans could. Lin threw a sheepish glance at Jon.

“I guess we could at least look for the requirements?” Lin suggested and Jon inhaled loudly in response which Lin interpreted as disagreement. He turned in his seat so he could face Jon, trying to read his expression. “Lac, can you give us a minute? Alone?”

“No. Whatever pretty boy here thinks he can say it out loud,” Alex replied and Lin sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. He could feel the annoyance coming off of Jon in waves. He was pretty sure everyone in the restaurant could. Everyone except Alex Lacamoire apparently.

“Dammit, Lacamoire. This isn’t even about you. This,” Lin gestured between him and Jon, “is between him and I. This is _our_ marriage we’re talking about. Not yours. Whether we’re getting an annulment or not is between the grooms,” he insisted on ‘s’, “not between one groom and his not-even-present-at-the-ceremony best friend. If you think this is a terrible idea, it’s fine, but I’m willing to give it a shot. And I want to hear what my _husband_  has to say on the matter, not my fucking best friend! Also, I get that you’re not feeling what happened last night, but can you tune the pettiness down a notch? You’re straight up being an asshole about this and that shit won’t fly with me right now. Not helpful, dude. Don’t you fucking dare insult him one more time.” The two of them rarely fought because they were usually so attuned to each other, constantly on the same wavelength, but when they did fight… shit went _down_. They were both way too stubborn and proud to take a step back and de-escalate, so once the tension rose, it exploded.

Alex narrowed his eyes and his nostrils flared.

“You know what? Fine. Whatever. I’m trying to help because this is fucking insane, but you want me out of this? Then I will be out of it.” He stood up to leave but, at the last second, he whirled back around and pointed at Lin’s face. “I’ll be outside. You’re footing the fucking bill. Have fun figuring out the fucking mess you got yourself into, Miranda.” With that, Alex made out for the door as Lin and Jon watched in stunned silence.

They sat still for what felt like an eternity before Lin finally sighed and ran a hand down his face. At that very moment, he wanted nothing more than to be Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. At least, he’d know he’d get a do-over on this crazy day. Sadly, that was not how life worked. He wasn’t even sure he had ever seen Lac this angry. Even the time where Lin had accidentally popped a bubble gum in his hair and they had had to cut a good chunk of the curls out hadn’t been this bad - and Alex Lacamoire had a thing about his hair. No one messed with it.

“You should go to him,” Jon let out quietly and if Lin was tempted to follow his advice, he ultimately shook his head.

“Nah. I think he needs some time to cool off. He’s not… He’s not a bad guy,” Lin said in his friend’s defence despite the fact that Jon hadn’t said anything. “Mother hen, mostly. Usually thinks I can’t be trusted to take care of myself. Which, if I’m being honest, he’s not completely wrong about, especially when I’m writing. But he means well. I know that, I know him. That doesn’t mean he can start treating you like shit because he’s upset about my behaviour, though. He overstepped and I think he knows it.” Jon nodded and Lin squeezed his shoulder. “Tell me what you’re thinking? How are you feeling?” Lin asked quietly, only half aware that they had just caused a scene in a Las Vegas restaurant.

Jon ran a hand through his hair before he finally tore his gaze away from the restaurant’s door.

“Is it bad that I’m hoping for the annulment to have crazy requirements that we can’t meet?” Jon countered and Lin huffed a laugh.

“Glad to see we’re on the same page.”

In the intensity of the fight, Lin hadn’t even noticed that their waitress had taken their empty plates away and he gave her a sheepish smile when she placed the bill in front of him. If Lin hadn’t seen her, she, on the other hand, had clearly taken notice of Alex’s parting words.

“Come on. I’ll go pay this and then we can go appease Lac’s mind. While trying to sabotage ourselves without really meaning it,” Lin finished with a wink that made Jon laugh. Jon’s laugh probably saved lives on the daily.

Lin went to the till despite being reluctant to leave because it was now pushing into early afternoon and he knew it was getting warmer by the minute. They met up with Alex outside and Lin took a moment to talk to him one on one after asking Jon to give them a moment, apologetically.

“Listen, Alex. I know this is fucking insane. I know I married a dude I didn’t know 24 hours ago, I know I never really even thought about being _with dudes_  to begin with, but there’s something about this that feels like… I have this massive gut feeling that if we let this go, it’ll be the biggest mistake I ever made, and we both know I’ve made plenty of mistakes in the past. This might seem to you like it’s one of them, but I assure you, it’s not. Call me names all you want, but if you’re gonna be mad at someone about it, let it be me, and leave Jon out of it. The dude does not deserve the crap you pulled on him earlier. He had the decency of apologizing for getting defensive with you and that’s how you pay him back? Really? That’s not the Alex I know. That’s not you. I love the absolute crap out of you but not when you get like this.” Lin did not breathe nearly as much as physics and common sense would dictate, let out everything he had to say in one go and didn’t let Alex place a single word in if he’d tried. Alex knew better than to try and cut Lin off anyways, so he waited until the coast was clear for him to speak again.

Alex crossed his arms and studied his friend, long enough for Lin to start nervously shuffling on his feet. He might have stretched the silence a tad longer simply because he enjoyed watching Lin squirm. After the past 24 hours, which Alex had mostly spent worrying himself sick about his best friend’s whereabouts, he felt like he had every right to his explosive reactions, even though it came out a bit harsher than Lin and Jon probably deserved. The pent up tension in his body sorely needed a way out.

“I’ll give you that, this is insane.” Alex sighed and ran a hand down his face. “If I’m honest, out of everyone I know, I’m not even surprised this kind of thing happened to you. This happening to Kail? Now I’d be fucking shocked. But the whole getting married in Vegas, but also, getting _gay_  married to another Broadway actor, happening to you? That doesn’t surprise me all that much. But if you think letting him go would be your biggest mistake to date, which I seriously doubt but whatever, then, as your best friend, I guess I don’t have any other choice than to follow your lead. I can’t believe you married someone _and then_  fell in love with them, that’s not how it’s supposed to go.” Alex stopped for a moment, a crease appearing between his eyebrows. “Wait... that’s what just happened, isn’t it? You fell in love with him?”

That shut Lin up for a quick second, which, considering the situation, was a feat worthy only of Gods themselves. He thought it through, and when he regained his senses, whispered, “I… shit, I think so. Alex, what the fuck is going on. I think you’re right.”

The weight of that realisation swept away whatever remaining anger between them. Lin turned around, looked at Jon and instinctively moved his hand towards him, inviting him back into the conversation.

“You’re a fucking moron, Lin-Manuel Miranda. I hope you know that,” Alex said fondly.

“Hey, you’re just jealous now. It was love at the first sight of his toned ass in his tight boxer briefs,” Lin shot back half-voice with a nod while Jon was still out of earshot.

Alex laughed. “Now that’s the kind of thing Shakespeare and Austen should have written about.”

“Everyone does say I’m this century’s Shakespeare, so you might just be right on that one.”

“The next Shakespeare? Now that’s quite the order to fill, isn’t it?” Jon said when he grabbed Lin’s open hand. “What part do I get to play, then?”

“I don’t know yet. I’m the _next_  Shakespeare. As in, I’m not on his level just yet. I haven’t gotten around to writing your part. But wait for it, it’s gonna be grand, I know that already. Maybe something along the lines of Polonius to begin with, you know? From Hamlet.”

Jon made a face. “The comedic relief, really?”

“Hey, everyone's gotta start somewhere,” Lin teased, winking.

“I'm originating the male lead in a Broadway show! Clearly, I've already proven my worth,” Jon shot back.

Lin laughed. “I'll cut you a deal. Shakespeare wrote more than one play right?” At Jon's nod, Lin went on. “I only have one under my belt so far, the next one will be your debut as Polonius and I promise the next one will have you center-stage for two and a half hours. How does that sound?”

All of this mundane (and incredibly nerdy) talk managed to calm Lin down enough to realize that it was actually getting really hot outside and that he was probably going to pass out if he didn’t take his hoodie off soon. As if on cue, Jon changed the subject and passed a comment on it.

“You know, maybe there was a bit of a chill earlier, but Lin, it's full-on summertime, aren't you dying in that hoodie? Why is it zipped up all the way? Oh my god, do you not have a shirt on?” He said with a playful tone to his voice.

Lin shot a glare in Alex’s direction and the latter wasn't quite certain that he deserved such a jab for that.

“Well, you see, I was really hoping it would stay under 80 degrees today because my _best friend_  over here,” the hurt betrayal colouring his voice, “brought my pajamas tank top as if that's something I could wear in public, and it's definitely too tight and revealing for me to pander around in, especially if we're about to go to the goddamn courthouse,” he finished in a frustrated huff.

Now that Alex thought about it, he realized that whereas he’d seen Lin in a wife-beater more times than he could count, he'd indeed only seen him wear that at home or backstage before getting into whatever costume.

Jon slowed down and tugged onto Lin’s hand again, to get him to slow his pace as well.

“Lin. It's summer weather on this coast, people will understand if you're wearing a tank top outside…” As he blurted that out, a thought made its way to the front part of his consciousness, partly brought on by the sudden hesitation in Lin’s body language. “Unless… is this about me? Are you shy? Is that what it is? Lin, we woke up practically naked not 5 hours ago after sleeping in the same bed.”

Alex took this as a cue to keep walking. He wanted no part in this conversation.

“I… we… we weren't gonna stay married at that point… I thought we'd get this sorted out and never see each other again…”

Jon was taken aback by his answer. Lin had seemed so confident earlier and Jon never thought he'd have body-image issues. He had no valid reason to. The man was beautiful, just the perfect golden glow to his skin, lean in all the right places, and from what Jon had seen in his hazy state of mind that morning, dreamily soft in all the right spots as well. He had no reason to be ashamed.

“Lin, look at me. Oh my god. You're beautiful. You have absolutely nothing to worry about,” Jon said, disbelieving but trying to be reassuring at the same time.

“Have you seen yourself? You look like you walked straight out of the centerfold ad of a magazine and I’m over here looking like a potato sack on my best days. Of course I've got stuff to worry about?” He shot back, nervous.

Jon raised an eyebrow before he let out a small laugh.

“I have an advantage, I think. My parents own a farm. I’ve helped around for as long as I can remember. When I moved to New York, I just couldn’t sit still,” he admitted, shaking his head in a self-depreciating way. “If you feel like you have to worry about that,” Jon added more seriously, “Then, I guess I have to be worried too. You’ve written a musical that’s going Off-Broadway. That’s not something I could do even in my wildest dreams. You could start thinking I’m just too dull or not intellectually challenging enough?”

Lin blinked a couple of times, opening his mouth to say something before closing it again. Images of Jon working around on a farm − sweaty with maybe some dirt smeared on his face? − popped in Lin’s brain and he had to make a conscious effort to store them in his ‘To Think About Later’ file and not use them right now.

But Lin had never been known for his self-control. Lin was known for his impulsivity. Which meant that trying to reign in his own mind was, generally speaking, something he utterly failed at every single time. He tried his best to keep walking in a straight line (ha), while half his brain was supplying him with images of Jon in work clothes, surrounded by animals, fixing the fence, Jon in the type of wife-beater he was wearing right now, hugging all of Jon’s muscles and outlining his incredible chest, Jon’s muscles in the sunlight, Jon’s muscles in the moonlight (even better), the reflection of the moon and the shadows accentuating everything, Jon’s muscles relaxed as Jon was laying down on a bed, Jon without a shirt in a bed, with a TV glow highlighting all of his best features, almost as good as the moonlight, Jon in _his_  bed, and –

“Lin?” Jon asked, whipping him back to the present and out of his daydream. He shook his head and scolded himself to get a damn grip, Miranda. “Everything alright?” There was a sudden concern in Jon’s voice, and oh, no. No, no. Lin never ever wanted to worry Jon ever again.

“I, I’m fine. Um. You’re far from daft. Marrying me proves to me that you know what's good for you. Also, it's getting really hot in here,” Lin offered weakly and started unzipping the hoodie at last.

“Get that damn thing off before you pass out,” Alex chimed in – he must've had slowed down a tad to let them catch up to him.

“Alright, alright! I will. I am. Damn peer pressure. You two are insufferable.” Lin removed the extra layers and stuffed the bundle in his backpack.

“That’s why you love us,” Lac commented, earning himself a glare from Lin and a stunned look from Jon.

“I’m not enabling this, so I’m not gonna reply to that comment, Lacamoire,” Lin shot back. “I like you better when you shut your mouth and glue your hands to a keyboard.”

“You know damn well you wouldn't be anywhere near where you’re at right now if it wasn't for my highly constructive comments, you ass,” and there was a playfulness to Alex’s words that was highly welcomed after the emotional rollercoaster that day had imposed on them all... so far. It wasn’t even 2 in the afternoon yet.

“It’s mostly your piano skills though. I can't play like you do, but I can rap and sing and look good doing it and that's why you're stuck under the stage and not on it, my friend.” That was probably meaner than needed but Lin and Alex lived (and loved) to tease each other and,  after a near decade of knowing each other, it became second nature at best. Lin had then decided to make it a tad more dramatic than usual for Jon’s enjoyment.

“You rap?”  Jon questioned, amazement evident in his voice.

Lac whistled. “Wow. You managed to marry a Broadway actor _without_  using your tongue trick _and_  without rapping to woo them? Jon, what could you have possibly seen in him?” Alex asked, bewildered.

“My charming personality, obviously,” Lin supplied as he lifted his chin, adopting a fake air of superiority.

“You know what Alex? I’m seriously starting to wonder,” Jon said, unfazed by Lin’s over-dramatic reaction to his answer. Lin gasped loudly, bringing a hand to his heart,  feigning being offended. Jon was too sweet to be _this_ mean to him.

“My best friend and my husband are ganging up on me! This is my worst nightmare! The more time goes, the less I know why I picked either of you to be in my life for the rest of forever.” Lin exclaimed.

“It's the curly hair,” they both exclaimed in unison, which made them go into a laughing fit that had Lin looking alternatively between the two of them, back and forth, still gaping. “Even Kail’s got curly hair,” Alex added with a chuckle. Lin almost considered throwing himself in the nearest body of water, although that would probably prove a hard feat considering that they were in the middle of the desert. He would end up having to dive in a shallow hotel fountain, so he stayed put and huffed in frustration instead.

“Although, I have to say, all of these hidden talents I keep hearing about? They make me want to get an annulment less and less,” Jon finished once they’d all regained their breath, completely ignoring Lin’s interruption. “What else do I gotta learn in terms of secret skills, huh? Are you gonna tell me you can knot cherry stems with your tongue, jump through fiery hoops maybe?” Jon supplied while Alex groaned.

“I will have you know that I can actually totally do that cherry thing. Tested, tried and true,” Lin replied. “I don't know about the hoops though but if that's what it takes to impress you I better start working on that soon.”

“Oh my god. Now you just gave him the idea to try and jump through a hoop on fire. If your husband dies in the process, just know that the blame goes a 100% on you. I am absolving myself from any responsibility and liabilities in this matter, let it be known. Lin’s a motherfucking overachiever so I hope y’all got your wills written for this.” And then Lac added, whispering loud enough for Lin to hear even though it was directed at Jon, “you’ve created a monster, my friend. I hope you’re ready.”

“Hey! That's rude. Don't do that to me. Don't you dare turning my husband against me for your own sake.”

“Then, I guess it’s only fair if I say I can trapeze? If Broadway completely fails us and he gets the fire hoops thing down, we could always join a circus?” Jon dropped.

Lin and Alex looked at Jon in shock before they turned their attention to each other and then again to Jon.

“What?!” Lac exclaimed at the same time as Lin said “That is so cool!” in awe. Jon laughed and shook his head at their antics.

“Will you show me?” Lin asked as he excitedly bounced around and Lac’s eyes opened wide. When Jon glanced at him, Alex made sure that Jon saw him mouth the word ‘No’ and shake his head in warning. For Jon’s own sake.

“We’ll see,” Jon replied, uncertain. It wasn’t that the idea didn’t appeal to him, but Lac’s warning was definitely worth taking into consideration. He had indeed known Lin for about a decade, that had to count for _something_  against Jon’s few hours.

“You have doomed us, Jonathan Groff,” Alex stated, matter of factly. “My good friend Lin, here? He has the flexibility of an ironing board. And the grace of a headless chicken. But the strength of will of George fucking Washington. Which means that he's gonna try everything in his power to keep up with you for the sole purpose of impressing you, and he's probably gonna end up dead as a result.”

Lin huffed and clucked in his best imitation of a live chicken right in Alex’s ear, making him take a deep breath in if he wasn’t going to throttle Lin. He flexed his fingers and balled his hands into fists, willing himself to calm down.

“Well, it’s a good thing we wear harnesses then?” Jon tried but that only seemed to exasperate Lac even more.

“God, you're supposed to try and discourage him, not enable him.” Alex shook his head.

“Why are y’all talking like I don’t exist?” Lin chimed in.

“Oh yeah, Jon? Another thing. You married a goddamn attention whore who can't handle to have any less than 100% of the eyes and conversation directed onto him at any given time. You should back out of this damn wedding while you still can. I'm looking out for you, man,” Alex warned as he spread his arms as if to absolve himself of any responsibility in the matter.

“Aaw. That’s cute, Alex. I guess he’s lucky I like giving my undivided attention to my lover.”

“Keep telling yourself that, we both know that ‘undivided attention’ is a concept you've never once come across or experienced for yourself. I’m surprised these words are even in your vocabulary to begin with.”

“Actually, you know what? You're right. That's called multitasking, and I’m astounding at it, which means I can do different things with my hands and my mouth at the same time. Everyone wins.” Lin winked. Jon gulped. Alex pinched the bridge of his nose. “Now, while I’m really tempted to find a Cirque du Soleil troupe practicing just to see if we can get them to let our dear Jonathan here show off his trapezist skills, does anyone know if we’ve even been walking in the general direction of the courthouse or have we agreed that it’s a dumb idea and just let it be?”

Jon shrugged when Lin looked to him for an answer and Alex ran a hand through his hair, sighing and shaking his head. He knew he was going to have to do a fair amount of babysitting bringing Lin here in Vegas, but how exactly he ended up with two grown children under his care was a question he was dying to get answered. It was absolutely beyond him.

“Fuck,” Lac swore under his breath as he took in the two men holding hands in front of him. It didn’t help that Lin had gone and fallen in love with the guy either. “You know what? Fuck this. You guys are cute. And you’re clearly not about to get an annulment or a divorce, I’m not blind. Let’s just… Let’s just head back to the Strip, find me some slot machines and get _me_  hammered. Although, with my luck, I’ll end up marrying a troll, so no wedding bells for me.” He looked between Jon and Lin, considering his options for a second. “Jon, I’m not trusting Lin with this. So you’re officially on ‘Don’t let Lacamoire do something stupid’ duty.”

“I’m… Honoured?” Jon said, casting an uncertain glance to Lin.

They found themselves a nice casino, although Jon was not ready to bet (ha!) it was even possible to find bad ones on the Strip. On the outskirts of Vegas maybe, but in that tourist trap? Nah, no way. Jon settled in next to Alex at a slot machine, Lin running off to a Blackjack table nearby. It wasn’t very long either before Lin was pulling out his hoodie from his backpack and putting it back on – what a shame, really. Jon hadn’t lied when he was praising Lin’s qualities, the dude really was so goddamn cute. They should have found a casino where the A/C was broken.

As it turned out, Alex Lacamoire was more talk than bite, when it came to alcohol at least. Throughout the entire time they were there, Jon saw him order only two rum and Cokes and drink plenty of water between both drinks. It dawned on him that maybe Alex’s comment had been more of a jab at them than something that could really happen to him.

They lost sight of Lin for a while, which kind of worried Jon, especially when Alex asked what the worst thing that could happen would be − had he completely forgotten the day before already? − but Lin turned up soon enough, happy and with a bunch of tacky trinkets stuffed into his backpack.

“I can't believe you're managing to make me feel like a babysitter while we're sitting in a damn casino. Isn't there some rule against bringing kids in here? Who allowed you past those doors, Miranda?” Alex said when Lin showed him what he'd found.

“I mean hey, technically, if you're my babysitter, this is all on you.” Lin blew him a kiss and Jon sighed – he was too young to be responsible for the two of them, and regardless of what Alex thought, if one of them was really to be the adult in here, Jon was, not him. And these two were goddamn children.

After a few more rounds and a few more gentle insults thrown around, Alex decided that it was time to go back to their respective hotels.

“I ran out of money and I’m clearly not getting lucky anytime soon”, he claimed as a reason.

Lin couldn’t tell if the double-entendre was dropped on purpose but he couldn't help blushing to the roots of his hair when he heard that. They scrambled to make sure that they had all of their belongings in their possession, Lin cashed in their remaining chips and they made for the exit.

Jon’s hotel was within walking distance from the Strip still, and the early evening was beautiful, so Alex and Lin decided to walk him back before hailing a cab that would take them back to their own hotel in another part of the city. After a particularly and impressively loud growl from Lin’s stomach, they decided to stop at a restaurant to get dinner. They didn’t bother staying long, the exhaustion from the very short night of sleep they’d all gotten the past night (and the very poor quality of the sleep they actually got) kicking in as the sun started its descent in the vast sky of Las Vegas. And if Lin was being honest with himself, he actually wanted to spend proper time in the company of his husband alone, without Alex being present. They hadn’t quite had that, considering that the time they’d had together that morning was actually spent searching for a way out of being together. If the insisting hand he felt on his thigh throughout the meal was any indication, Jon was thinking the same thing.

They asked for the bills without ordering dessert, Alex grabbing Lin’s out of his hands to make up for the brunch scene (and consequently paying for Jon since Lin had planned on doing so, like the romantic fucker that he was). Besides, Alex hadn’t exactly given them much support between the bad faith and the yelling, let alone a gift - so he took it upon himself to at least do this for them. He’d have to think of something nicer when they got back to New York, but this would have to do for now. The walk back was spent trekking through the streets in comfortable silence, Lin sandwiched between the two of them, holding Jon’s hand the whole way back.

Once they reached Jon’s hotel, Lin followed Jon, going as far as the main entrance of the building while Lac waited by the fountain. Lin felt like he was on a first date back in high school, walking his date to the front door of their place. He had a newly born swarm of butterflies taking flight in the pits of his stomach.

“So… I guess I'll see you guys at the airport tomorrow?” Jon asked and Lin nodded.

The silence stretched between them for a while longer and Lin could just see himself again at 15. He even had a chaperone waiting a few feet away that they both were pretending wasn’t there. He looked to his feet, unsure of what to do next. They hadn’t thought it through this far.

“I… I should probably go…” Lin said quietly. He opened his mouth again to wish him a good night, but Jon stopped him, put a hand on his jaw and lifted his head, pulling him into a kiss. Jon rested his free hand low on Lin’s hip.

Lin vaguely thought that he should have been the one to initiate the kiss this time around, like he had done all these years ago with… − what was her name? Carly? Kelsie? Something that ended in a ‘e’ sound, − but then Jon's tongue licked at the seam of Lin's lips and all remaining thoughts disappeared from his mind. Lin reached up to rest his hands on both sides of Jon’s face and the height difference was enough to grant him a reason to get up on the tips of his toes, just a bit, if he so wished. Jon sneaked his arms under Lin’s, pulling him into a tight embrace and supporting Lin’s weight and drawing him higher when he felt him pushing himself up. Lin had never kissed someone that was taller than him before. It was quickly becoming one of his favourite things. Or maybe it was because Jon was the taller person kissing him? Lin decided that Jon was definitely the cause and focused on the pressure of Jon’s lips on his own. They both were breathless when they pulled apart. Jon ducked down and nuzzled his face in the crook of Lin’s neck.

“Or you could come upstairs with me?” Jon suggested in the midst of breathing out on Lin’s skin, so quietly that Lin barely could hear him above the traffic noise and the distraction fogging his brain. Jon’s breath woke a trail of goosebumps on Lin’s skin. He shouldn't be focusing on that knowing that Alex was standing just a few feet away, but how could he _not_?

Jon’s suggestion simultaneously felt absolutely reckless and like it was meant to go without saying. “I will not object to such an idea. Lac’s gonna kill me. I don’t care.” He brought himself up again to plant a light kiss on the tip of Jon’s nose. “Let me go tell him he can go back home alone because I’m spending my first married night with my husband.”

“Well, technically, this is gonna be our second night together, not the first,” Jon corrected him with a playful smile on his face, the tone reflecting itself all the way into Jon’s glistening blue eyes.

“Well, the first one we’re never gonna remember, so I vote that we don’t count it. Let’s make tonight count, though, yeah?” Lin was almost surprised at the adventurous tone he’d just used, so rather than to engage further, he turned around to go talk to Alex, leaving Jon hanging just like that.

“Oh hell no,” Jon breathed out and, just before Lin was out of reach, he playfully slapped his buttcheek, mustering his most innocent expression when Lin turned around with a scandalized look on his face. “You don’t get to just walk out on me like that,” he shot as though it explained everything.

Alex snickered in the distance. “Alright, children, time for curfew,” he let out loud enough that Jon would hear him.

“Yeah, about that, I’ve decided to stay the night, and since you’re not my dad nor commissioned by him to be my actual babysitter, you don’t get a say in that decision.”

“Nuh uh. I ain’t dealing with your shit tomorrow morning. I don’t care if you wanna come back here, but you’re coming with me and packing all that fucking crap you brought, Miranda. I’m sure as hell not your dad but I’m your roommate this week and your shit is all over the place.”

‘What! No! Come on, man, take one for the team! This team. My team. The one I’m forming with Jon. Please? I can’t go back to him right now and break his expectant heart by telling him he’s gonna have to wait on me. You seen those puppy eyes? I can’t say no to that.”

“Then I’ll tell him myself, you moron.” And just like that, he was leaving a stunned Lin behind and walking deliberately to the spot where Jon was standing, closer to the entrance of the hotel. Jon raised an eyebrow.

“Shakespeare over here? Needs to come home to pack. I’ll send him your way after he’s done, but for now, he’s my bitch, pretty boy.”

“Way to ruin the moment, LacketyLac,” Lin muttered as he followed suit.

“Damn, okay, okay. Can I at least give him a way back in? Is that allowed, General Curly Curls, or do I need a permission slip, huh?” Jon was having none of Alex’s patronizing bullshit and Lin was secretly living for the healthy rivalry that was clearly developing between them.

Alex narrowed his eyes as he glared at Jon. “You have five minutes,” he finally declared, turning around to go get them a cab. Jon didn’t dare follow that command with “or what?”, so he kept it shut and reached in his pocket to grab his wallet instead. Jon pulled out a room key and smiled at Lin, handing it over to him.

“Room 805. Can I trust you with this?” Lin shuddered. “Don’t make me wait more than necessary, Miranda-Groff.”

Lin was positive that his heart stopped for a moment. His mouth went dry and his immediate reaction was to ask Jon whether that was a date, maybe even an order, but his vocal chords were nowhere to be found. He just opened his eyes wide and stared. When his heart started beating again, it was erratic. He nodded obediently, words evading him for the first time in what felt like forever - words were Lin’s most important weapon, and he felt utterly defenceless when he couldn’t use them. In that moment, he was at Jon’s mercy and nothing else mattered more than not disappointing him. Jon looked at him intently. Lin knew that if the positions were reversed, he’d definitely open (once more) his “to be explored later” filing cabinet, so he was hoping, with the few remaining intact brain cells he had left, that Jon was doing the same.

“Miranda! Your time’s up,” Alex’s voice came, pulling him back to reality, and Lin swore under his breath. Was the man purposefully ruining every single good moment he was having with Jon, or was it truly accidental? He was not a man of numbers but it seemed to happen way too often to be statistically irrelevant. He might just have to clear that up in the cab.

“Go,” Jon encouraged softly, pushing him in Lac’s direction. “805,” he repeated, trying to make sure Lin would remember. He wasn’t certain that Lin had all of his brain’s executive function at his disposal at the moment. Maybe he should have marked it down on Lin’s skin for good measure. He almost shuddered at the thought of leaving something on Lin’s very skin. His hand lingered on Lin’s hip just longer than truly necessary and Lin could have sworn he felt the touch on his skin until he got in the cab.

“805.”

“What?” Alex hadn’t the slightest idea what Lin was talking about.

“Jon’s room is 805 and I can’t forget that because I don’t want him to be mad at me.”

“And you’re telling me because…?” He prompted.

“Because obviously this way I’ll remember it later. Or I’ll call you and you’ll tell me. And I get to preserve my dignity. Lac. This is important,” he added, with his usual overly dramatic stare into Alex’s direction, as if it was the most natural thought progression in the world. Lin could be so oblivious to the fact that nobody thought the way he did and that following his train of thought was the equivalent to going into a corn maze, disoriented, blindfolded and shackled, smack-dab in the middle of a thunderstorm - it wasn’t happening. Good luck if you tried.

Alex’s incredulous look seemed to spur Lin on further and on a completely unrelated topic. “Oh also, dude, while I’m at it, why do you keep ruining everything, huh? I already told you that your timing was appalling for a composer, and it’s not improving. You gotta work on that. For my sanity. You had to bang on that Bellagio door in the middle of our first kiss, then you made a scene at breakfast, and now you interrupted on a Moment, capital M. Why you gotta be like that, man?” Lin wondered incredulously, knocking his fingers off as he came up with examples.

Alex raised an eyebrow as Lin ticked off points, sincerely unimpressed.

“So you’ll thank me later,” he dead-panned and Lin’s eyes grew wide.

“Beg your pardon?” That made no sense at all. None. Nada.

“Just think about it. In under an hour, you’ll be back here and I’ll be on the other side of town. You’ll have your pretty boy all to yourself. I’ve built up your moment, entirely capitalized. Bolded. And underlined. At least twice.”

“I’m pretty positive that our Moment could have happened without you constantly cockblocking me, dude.”

“It’ll be better, trust me.”

“Oh yeah, cause you’re such the relationship dynamic expert yourself,” Lin grumbled, feeling petty, and somewhat upset.

Alex didn’t deem that last comment worthy of an answer. Maybe he should have because Lin was slowly driving him insane by muttering “805” under his breath for the entire ride. Once back in their room, Lin grabbed everything he owned and stashed it carelessly in the suitcase he’d left wide-open on the floor. Alex would eventually go on and describe him as being more of a human whirlwind than his usual self, which was either terrifying or impressive (probably both, if he was being honest). It wasn’t until he was back inside another cab to head back to Jon’s hotel that Lin figured he probably had forgotten some of his shit here and there, but he knew Lac would get whatever he’d left behind if that were the case. He also realized too late that he’d left everything there to avoid having to drag a suitcase along, forgetting in his hurry to bring pajamas and a change of clothes for a second night in a row. Oh well, it was too late to go back now. Alex was a terrible babysitter, he should have reminded Lin to bring at least a clean pair of underwear and his toothbrush. Isn’t that what he was there for, anyways?

Lin prayed to every star in the sky that he would not make an idiot out of himself and have to call Jon. That would have been sure to ruin the magic. As he rode the elevator up to the eighth floor, Lin grew more and more fidgety. He became even more restless than he usually was in the small cabin (a feat in and of itself), bouncing from foot to foot. If anyone was looking at the security footage at the moment, they’d probably think he was about to conclude a massive drug deal, trying to make some body parts disappear, or something equally as illegal, not just meet his husband in a hotel room.

Lin walked out of the elevator and down the hallway, wrecking his hands. He could do this. He had spent all day with the guy without being nearly as nervous as he was right now. He was being insanely ridiculous. As he stood in front of the door marked 805, Lin took a deep breath, inserted the key in the lock and, when it clicked, pushed it open.

The room was dark, except for the TV that, Lin somehow noted, was airing Jimmy Kimmel when he walked in. He walked forward, past the small entryway before he found himself in the main part of the bedroom. Jon was lounging on the bed, comfortably arranged on top of the covers against some pillows, and had changed out of his street clothes, opting for pajama pants... And... Nothing else that Lin could see at first glance. He had to do a double-take when his brain finally registered exactly what Jon was wearing. Light blue plaid pajama pants. It would have been funny if Lin wasn’t ready to bet they brought out his eyes like nothing else probably could. He almost wanted to turn on the lights just so he could verify his theory. Lin made a mental note to get Jon to wear blue as much as he could.

Lin found himself thinking back to his daydreaming session earlier that day, because damn it all to hell if the real deal wasn’t even better than what he’d imagined at first. Jon laughed at something Kimmel said, chuckling softly. Lin’s gaze focused on his abs, the way the flickering TV light danced on his skin, creating shadows and accentuating the soft curve of every muscle of his toned body. Lin probably should stop staring soon, but he was trying to understand how Jon was even on this planet and he came up short with no answer. He audibly gulped, caught his bottom lip tight between his teeth and bit. Jon didn’t seem to hear it, or if he did he didn’t act on it, and Lin found himself grateful for that. He could tell that this was going to take some getting used to. Maybe he would never. He was okay with that prospect.

Lin cleared his throat, loud enough for Jon to hear him this time. Somehow he hadn’t heard the door or the gulp at all, entranced as he was by the show.

“Oh, hey, stranger,” Jon said, sultry. Lin definitely should not be as affected as he was. And Jon shouldn’t be allowed to be this outrageously cute _and_  deadly attractive at the same time. It wasn’t fair to anyone, especially not to Lin, he decided. He was clearly at a disadvantage in this marriage. He was going to have to work hard to make it up to Jon. He liked challenges. This one might just be his favourite challenge of the prior 26 years.

“Hi. I missed you,” Lin blurted out.

“You were gone for a whole total of what, 30 minutes?” Jon enquired, slightly amused. “You are so impatient. There’s something rewarding about waiting, you know.”

“Funny. Lac was saying almost the same thing. Are you sure you two are not long lost brothers or something just as disturbing? Y’all gotta stop gangin’ up on me. Besides, a half an hour repeating the number ‘805’ under my breath makes for a long-ass half hour, I’ll have you know. If you don’t believe me, ask Lac tomorrow. I think he was five seconds away from stuffing a sock down my throat just to shut me up,” Lin crossed his arms over his chest, feigning being offended by Jon calling him impatient.

Jon chuckled quietly. “Now that would have been a shame. Who would ever want to shut that beautiful mouth of yours?” He paused. “Actually, nevermind that, I have a few ideas I wouldn’t voice around my mother.” He reached a hand out for Lin. “What are you waiting for to get your ass over here, huh? I thought we were going to celebrate this marriage, not just stand around like idiots and stare at each other. I got you a present. I got a bottle of cold champagne sent up earlier,” he vaguely pointed to the ice bucket on the desk, and Lin couldn’t help but look in that direction, despite Jon’s gaze not leaving him. He would say he couldn’t believe how he hadn’t noticed it, but he knew full well that his eyes and his attention had been monopolized by _other sights_.

“That’s funny. That’s actually really funny. In my show, my love interest drops that she’s got me a bottle of cold champagne after two whole hours of unbelievable sexual tension between the two of us. I can’t believe you’re quoting a show I wrote without having even seen it,” Lin said shaking his head, as he quickly made for the bottle. He couldn’t handle not touching Jon for one more second. He climbed up on the bed (why were hotel beds always so high?) and kneeled his way over to Jon, trying his hardest to look smoother than he was clumsy.

“And how does that work out for her?” Jon asked, moving to the side so that Lin could settle next to him, his knees by Jon’s hips. Lin couldn’t tell if he was asking because he was genuinely interested in his play or if he was testing the waters for his own personal gains.

“Uh… We… We make out actually,” Lin said, a light blush creeping up his cheeks, “after she gets really upset that I can’t get the gold shit off to open the bottle.”

“That’s interesting. Maybe I’m gonna have to get you to try and open the champagne, if you’re that bad at it. Make a challenge out of it. No kisses for you until you succeed.”

“Ah! Joke’s on you, I’m actually a pro at opening them!” He jabbed a finger right in between two of Jon’s ribs. “I just _pretend_  I can’t. Usnavi’s the one who can’t get the twisty thing off, but I’m your man, so I’m getting all the kisses,” Lin said proudly as he started fidgeting with the gold foil covering the neck of the bottle.

Jon raised an eyebrow in amusement. Challenging Lin turned out to be a lot of fun and he promised himself he’d do more of it.

“I’d say you’re already my man and that, as a rule, you do get all of my kisses, but if you want me to hold off until you open that bottle of champagne…” Jon shrugged as a way to finish his sentence and God fucking dammit. Lin was at his mercy, wasn’t he? He could play with his shiny new toy if he damn wanted to. “Tell me, do you always sleep in your jeans?” Jon continued without letting Lin answer to his previous teasing. Lin looked down at himself and almost wanted to cry out in frustration.

“I’ll have you know that, no I don’t. You should know, you woke up to me staring at you wearing nothing but boxers no more than, like, 15 hours ago,” he said, trying to get the upper hand again. Which, came to think of it, he wasn’t even sure he actually ever had. Trying to act cool and composed, it dawned on him that it wasn’t fair that a 21 year-old was better at teasing and finding quirks than a 26 year-old. He braced himself, folding his legs underneath himself to give him some type of a power stance next to Jon’s relaxed position on the bed. “Now, I guess, it depends on what you want more, pretty boy,” Lin said. “Champagne or these,” he pinched and tugged at the leg of his jeans, “to be gone?”

A fire, not unlike the one Lin had seen that very same morning, seemed to be set ablaze in Jon’s eyes and Lin swallowed, wondering just how much trouble his mouth had put him in this time around. Jon sat up and moved to be facing Lin, mirroring his position, and this time Lin was  _certain_  that Jon was checking him out. There was not a single hint of a doubt in Lin’s mind. After a minute of silence and Jon staring at him hungrily, Jon moved up to kneel, bringing his body closer to Lin and towering above him, and stopped just short of crowding Lin’s personal space. He took a hold of the puller of his hoodie’s zip, absentmindedly fiddling with it. Lin’s mind almost blanked at having Jon’s sculpted torso so close to his face, so completely within reach. He could see every freckle on his shoulders, on his arms, down his chest, and he was feeling some type of way about them. He wanted to find and cherish every single freckle on the wide expanse of Jon’s skin.

“I think…” Jon murmured, sounding much more thoughtful than anyone should in moments like these, and drawing Lin’s eyes to his moving lips. “Yes, I think I want all of this gone first,” he finished, sliding the puller down.

Before long, Jon’s mouth had found its way to Lin’s neck and Lin’s last fully coherent thought was to put down the champagne on the night table behind him before he dropped it to the mattress. He still managed to almost miss and barely put the bottle upright. He'd always been ridiculously sensitive on his neck, especially right below his ear, and Jon was moving progressively closer to that spot. Jon had gotten Lin’s hoodie off and managed to effortlessly flip him around the bed so that he was laying on his back with Jon above him. He couldn't escape. He was oddly okay with it. He needed his hands on Jon’s body and he needed that right away, but the way that Jon’s tongue was sliding against the sensitive skin of his neck, playing against the straining tendons, was positively robbing Lin of any and all capabilities. Holding himself up with one arm by the side of Lin’s head, he had one hand free of roaming around, feeling up and down Lin’s arms, his shoulders, his own still-clothed chest. Down his ribcage. Across his chest. Down on his stomach. Maybe Jon was a better multitasker than Lin was, after all. Lin didn't know where he should focus his attention anymore, to the point where he'd forgotten that his tank top and his jeans still had to go. He focused on the barest edge of Jon’s teeth that he could feel against his collarbone until he felt Jon’s fingertips at the hem of his shirt and brushing the skin showing between the ruffled cotton and the waistband of his underwear. His fingers could easily have been matches and his skin, the rough side of the matchbox, if the trail of fire that lit up as Jon stroked his nails across his body was any indication. He gasped and arched into the touch. Jon’s teeth pulled away.

“May I?” He asked, his breath ragged and his voice lower than it had been all day – including when he'd woken up still drunk after a night of heavy drinking, which had altered it heavily from the start. The newfound rasp added to his voice was a whole new terrain that Lin was grateful he got to explore.

Lin grunted some kind of positive answer and pushed himself up from the mattress and into Jon’s firm body for a hot second to allow him to lift the fabric up and over his head. The tank top was quickly discarded to the floor, allowing Jon to pull away so he could admire Lin’s body and drink it all in – he’d had the chance to glance at it that morning but to say he could appreciate it properly then would have been blatantly false. He sat on Lin’s lap, effectively straddling and trapping him in, rested his hands on Lin’s bare chest and breathed out deliberately. When he looked back up, Lin saw his own desire reflected into Jon’s eyes and it was truly, finally his turn to initiate the kiss. He pulled Jon down by the back of his neck until he was flat against him, and gasped at the feeling of skin on skin. That part was a first. He instinctively brought his other hand up to thread his fingers through the incredibly soft curls of Jon’s hair, tousling them in his wake. He couldn’t help but arch up into Jon and he wouldn’t have ruled out the possibility that he was trying to actually fuse their bodies together. He couldn’t get enough. He kissed him with a hunger previously unmatched and they lazily let their tongues get acquainted with each other for a while. Lin eventually couldn’t hold off and grabbed Jon’s bottom lip between his teeth, pulling on it and letting the tip of his tongue soothe the part of Jon’s lip that was caught in his mouth.

“Insistent, are we now?” Jon asked when he regained control of his own mouth. “I figured you'd be impatient but I hadn't thought you’d be _this_  eager. What about that champagne, huh, Romeo?”, his voice a low growl but playful nonetheless, rising himself up a bit to look to the bedside table. Lin couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him at Jon’s new nickname for him. He’d been called a lot of things over the years, but he couldn’t recall anyone ever using that one. He knew now that if anyone else ever called him Romeo from here onwards, it would always bring him back right to that moment. Which was far from being a terrible thing.

How Jon had enough self-control to think about the champagne however, Lin was at a loss. He took his hands from the mess that was now Jon’s hair, slid them down to his chest and grazed his nipples on the way, noticing the way Jon seemed to tense and stopped breathing to revel in the sensation. He pushed Jon back and switched them over until he was resting in between Jon’s legs and looking down onto him. “I’ll have you know that I don’t actually need any alcohol tonight to get drunk. You’re more than enough for that.” He wouldn't have thought that he had it in himself to align more than three words. Lin pressed himself flush against Jon’s torso, enjoying having a semblance of a upper hand. Jon moaned into his mouth in reaction, mumbled something along the lines of “okay” and Lin went dizzy with the rush of blood to his head. He was positively surprised at how this whole night was turning out.

After a few minutes of messy kisses and exploring, adventurous hands, Lin reluctantly pushed himself up from Jon, moved off the bed and let Jon arrange himself much like he had been when Lin first walked in on him. Lin walked around the bed to turn one of the night lamps on, the dim yellow light flooding the room and allowing him to see Jon’s body in all of its splendor. And God, was it splendid. Also, he had been right: those stupid pants did bring out the blue of Jon’s eyes. That wasn’t fair at all. He was so fucked. Lin shook his head for a bit of clarity, walked back around the bed and went to turn the TV off. He did _not_  want Kimmel witnessing whatever was about to go down in their hotel room. He didn’t want to admit that he could never look the guy in the eyes without blushing beet red, assuming he ever got to meet him, if he let him ‘witness’ this any longer.

Jon didn't remotely try to hide the fact that he was ogling at Lin’s body and made an appreciative noise when he saw the muscles of his arms flex as he reached around the room to flick at the lamp switch and shut the TV off. Lin shot a cocky smile at Jon in response.

“Gah, just bring your lovely ass over here already, yeah? My patience is wearing down. I’ve been waiting all day already, just get in bed,” Jon half suggested and half commanded.

As he said that, Lin carefully made his way back over to Jon on the mattress, knee-walking until he was straddling Jon’s hips. Jon put both of his hands right back on Lin’s body where they belonged, now that he was within reach again. He scratched at his chest and drew whimpers out of Lin’s mouth.

“Sensitive, are we?” Jon teased.

“Just kiss me, will you?” Lin replied curtly.

“Gee, so demanding,” Jon added before he happily obliged.

Lin leaned forward, using his hands to cradle Jon’s face and resting his forearms on Jon’s shoulders for leverage as he kissed him slow and steady. Jon’s nails sketched fiery red lines down his ribcage until he reached the waistband of Lin’s jeans.

“I said something about these having to go, didn't I? Why are they still here?”

“Because you wanted me to come back to bed to you, pretty boy. But if it’s any consolation, I’m wondering the exact same thing about yours,” Lin replied, busying himself with kissing and nipping at Jon’s neck, rolling his hips down onto Jon’s, causing him to meet him halfway with his own thrust up.

Lin let Jon’s deft fingers take care of the button and zipper of his jeans, and moved off of him hurriedly to remove his jeans completely. He used the opportunity to tug at the leg of Jon’s pants as they locked eyes.

“‘M I allowed to peel those off your body, or...?” He left the question up-ended between them.

Jon canted his chin up, as if to dare Lin, and rose his hips off the mattress as means for an answer. Lin took the open invitation and grabbed a fistful of both pant legs before tugging down on them. He'd be lying if he said that he had been expecting the absence of underwear under Jon’s pajamas. He'd also be lying if he said that the very absence of underwear and the fact that Jon wasn’t uninterested was a disappointment.

“Were you counting on this happening, you minx?” Lin teased. He couldn’t say he’d be mad if this was how his husband decided to go to bed every night for the rest of their lives. On the contrary, he’d be highly satisfied.

“Let’s just say I had high hopes for my wedding night?” Jon replied coyly, shrugging his shoulders.

Lin let out a laugh. “God, I love you,” he said without thinking as he moved back up Jon’s body to kiss him again. He didn’t think he’d ever get tired of the way his lips felt against his own, so soft and so firm all at once.

Jon blinked in surprise, but before he could really assimilate and understand Lin’s words, Lin’s mouth was upon his own and nothing mattered more than kissing him back. Jon was 100% to blame for the kiss growing more passionate with every breath, his mind still reeling from his husband’s admission, if it even was one, and Lin did not mind in the slightest. Jon let his free hand trail down Lin’s body until it reached the waistband of his boxers and he growled in the kiss. Why hadn’t he taken these off while he was standing, for Heaven’s sake? And the motherfucker had the audacity to grin, as though he knew exactly what was displeasing Jon? Jon flipped them over, straddling Lin’s hips again.

“You’re annoying, you know that?” Jon asked playfully and Lin’s grin only stretched.

“If I’ve learned anything from watching my parents, is that playful annoyance is the base of any healthy marriage.”

“Funny, watching mine, I’ve learned that _tolerance_ was at the base of a healthy marriage.”

With an exasperated huff, Jon leaned forward, pressing open-mouthed kisses to Lin’s neck. Lin wanted to be a smartass? Fine, he’d see just what Jon did to smartasses like him. Jon grazed his teeth against his skin, smirking when he heard Lin moaning. This was almost too easy. He moved his kisses down Lin’s torso, peppering every inch he could reach with them, his hands roaming freely further down his body. He had been right. Lin _was_ dreamily soft in all the right places. He was going to take his time exploring every inch of Lin’s body because he could tell that it was exactly the opposite to what Lin needed from him.

Jon squeezed lightly at his waist, moaning against Lin’s feverish skin as his fingers dug in his sides. He took his time teasing, flicking the tip of his tongue around Lin’s nipples. He latched on his left one, swirling his tongue around the stiffening bud before he gently blew cool air on it. He could see the goosebumps raising all around the area and Lin whimpered. He set down to tug Lin’s hard nipple between his teeth and worried it lightly as he dug his fingers deep in both sides of Lin’s waist. He took a moment to appreciate the way he made Lin hiss between his clenched jaw and decided to find out all the spots that made him react this much. Lin was tensing under his hands and Jon got off on the power it gave him to be able to reduce him to a mess of broken moans and high whimpers.

Lin, for his own, couldn't quite recall ever feeling this needy and this eager to get absolutely ruined. He wanted Jon’s fingers to leave traces on him and he could barely hold still when he felt the sharp edge of Jon’s teeth digging in the soft flesh of his chest. Jon was relentless, nipping and licking at every part of his chest like he'd never get to taste anything else ever again. It was so much to handle, and at the same time not enough, not enough, not nearly _enough,_ because he was methodically avoiding where Lin needed contact the most. Lin’s tight briefs were getting tighter by the second and he was on the brink of going insane if Jon was going to keep this game up. Almost on cue to make Lin even more desperate, Jon detached his mouth from his skin.

“Did you mean it?” Jon asked.

“Jon,” Lin pleaded, the need evident in his voice, his brain not even picking up on the question Jon had asked.

“Did you mean it?” Jon repeated, almost growling.

“Mean what?” Lin finally found in himself to reply, mentally begging for Jon to get back to his ministrations. And the sooner the better.

“What you said earlier, that you love me?” Jon demanded and Lin’s eyes grew wide as he froze in place.

“I…. I… I’m sorry, it came out before I could think…” he started hurriedly and Jon could see this was quickly escalating into one of Lin’s infamous rambles.

“Lin,” Jon interrupted abruptly, his gaze intent. “Did you mean it?” He asked for a third time, punctuating every word. He needed to know. And he needed to know _now._

Lin blushed beet red and looked anywhere but at Jon. “I did,” he whispered quietly.

Jon’s smile could have lit up Times Square on a power outage and he surged up, kissing Lin deeply. When they pulled apart, Jon pressed his forehead to Lin’s and his smile was much softer.

“I don’t wanna say it back if I don’t mean it,” he said hesitantly, “but I want you to know that I can see myself falling in love with you, that I think it’s a definite possibility. Maybe even an inevitability.”

It was Lin’s turn to smile as brightly as he could and he pulled Jon into another kiss, bucking his hips upwards, which Jon interpreted as a request for him to move again. If anything, he was growing even more impatient than he naturally was and he didn't know how much longer he could handle being strung out like this under Jon’s attentions. He almost cried in relief when Jon agreed to his obvious request by moving straight down his body, now purposefully ignoring Lin’s sensitized nipples as he moved down, favouring the tender skin of his stomach instead. After all, Jonathan Groff-Miranda had a very clear goal in mind and he was going to do everything in his power to fulfill it. He wanted to positively wreck his husband − by God, did that really only happen 24 hours ago? − on their wedding night. He wanted to find every single button he could push to tease and please Lin-Manuel Miranda-Groff. He wanted to know every noises Lin made in reaction to any of his ministrations better than he even knew himself. He wanted them etched in his brain for the rest of forever. If he dared say so, he was well on his way to do so. Jon stopped his descent when he reached Lin’s stomach, continuing the trail of nips and licks over the soft and pliant skin.

“Fuck,” Lin breathed out after the first deep bite, one of his hands burying itself in Jon’s curly locks. In response, Jon simply hummed into the bite before he moved again, sideways this time.

“You like that, huh? Want to see reminders tomorrow?” Jon let out, and it took every active neuron in Lin’s brain not to move his hand from Jon’s hair and onto the front of his boxers.

He had a moment of clarity to wonder why in hell he was still wearing them, and why in hell he couldn’t do anything about it. There was an unspoken rule, Lin could feel it, and he knew he would pay should he decide to fuck with Jon’s teasing and palm himself. The envy was definitely there, though. He tugged Jon’s head up by the hair and panted heavily for a few seconds, trying his damned best to regain a semblance of breath.

“I do, I do, but I need you, _please,”_ he hissed out.

He could feel the need throbbing all over his body, the blood rushing into the multiple sore spots that were sure to turn to bruises by the morning. That idea alone would be enough to fuel him in the future whenever Jon wouldn’t be within reach.

“What are you doing to me?” Lin panted and Jon smirked. It was equal parts playfully teasing, downright terrifying and incredibly arousing all at the same time.

“Just learning you out, nothing crazy,” Jon said with an innocent smirk. The light dancing in his dark eyes betrayed darker motives. Jon ducked back down and hooked his hands underneath Lin’s ass, palming freely at the soft cheeks and squeezing a handful. He reattached his mouth to the skin covering Lin’s hipbone. Lin closed his eyes and threw his head back, hissing loudly as Jon bit down harder on his skin and instinctively drew his knees up in hopes to protect himself against Jon’s assault, but only managed to cage Jon decidedly between his knees. When Jon’s mouth let go, he gently licked the teeth marks to soothe the skin before he tenderly resumed kissing it. The contrast was maddening and intoxicating. Lin silently swore to every deity he knew that he was going to lose his mind if Jon didn't start _touching_  him soon. He moved again, this time nuzzling the happy trail between Lin’s navel and the waistband of his boxers.

“I want your pretty eyes on me, Miranda-Groff,” Jon said in his most seductive voice and Lin’s eyes immediately popped open.

“As if they’d be anywhere else, Groff-Miranda,” he shot back with emphasis on the name, and Jon smirked.

“Well, they _were_  closed five seconds ago,” he pointed out with a mean wink as Lin propped himself up on his elbows.

“You’re a tease, you're such a goddamn fucking tease,” Lin said, tense, making Jon huff a laugh which consequently made him shiver.

“You don’t even know the half of it,” he commented, kneading on his ass before he took the waistband of his boxers between his teeth. Lin sucked in a sharp breath. _God. Fucking. Dammit._  Jon clearly wanted him dead.

The anticipation was burning low in his stomach and the light ruffle of the fabric against his rapidly hardening cock was enough to earn a pained cry from him. He felt so neglected and entirely at Jon’s mercy. He didn’t even seem to notice that Jon had hooked his fingers in the waistband at the small of his back to help himself, but even if he had, he wasn’t about to look away from Jon’s eyes. This was climbing fast towards being the best night of Lin’s life. Lin almost wanted to cry at the thought that this man, this gorgeous man who was currently _pulling his boxers off with his teeth_ , was his and would forever be if Lin didn’t fuck this up. He needed to _not_  fuck this up. His survival might just depend on it.

Jon bit hard on the soft skin of Lin’s inner thigh as he discarded the garment somewhere over his shoulder to the floor to be forgotten. The pure hunger that Lin caught in his eyes when Jon took the sight in front of him was enough to send his world crashing down. He didn't know how incredible it would feel to be so astoundingly and absolutely _wanted_  by someone else before and he promised to himself that he would do everything in his power to make Jon feel even a fraction of what he was experiencing under his unwavering stare. His conservation instincts and his usual self-consciousness tried to make themselves heard but he relegated them to the second plan the moment he felt Jon’s hand brushing against his length, entirely too light to be anywhere near satisfying. He dropped his head back down with a soft thud muffled by the groan coming out of his throat. His veins felt alive with an energy he didn't remember feeling with any previous partner, hell that he didn’t remember feeling _ever_ , and he decided that being quiet was definitely not an option tonight.

“Jon, fuck, you fucking tease, just _move”_ he let out again with a sharp breath when Jon moved his head up from his thigh and breathed hot on Lin’s neglected dick. He needed so much more than what he was getting and it wasn't fair in any sense of the word. He twitched.

“I’m sorry, is there something you’re trying to say? I can't hear you over the need in your voice,” Jon huffed with a smirk when Lin threw his arm across his face and his hips bucked into Jon’s hand of their own accord.

“You say that like you’re not feeling the exact same way,” Lin breathed through gritted teeth. Jon’s hands had now moved to stroke his thigh, scratching every now and then and maddeningly avoiding Lin where he needed him most. His breath was still warm against his sensitive skin and it somehow didn't occur to Lin that he could always take the matters into his own hands, probably due to the same unspoken rule between them that had stopped him earlier.

“Nah, I say that because you deserve to pay for making my life harder and not undressing when you had the opportunity. You're the only one to blame for this, you brought it all on yourself, dear.” Lin’s legs tensed at Jon’s words and his hips rose helplessly in the empty air. He might start crying soon if Jon kept this up, he could feel his throat closing up with despair and he was making frankly embarrassing noises throughout it all. “Oh, I'm sorry, are you not used to not getting what you want?” The arousal in Jon’s voice was intensifying by the second and he didn't think he could hold off of actually pleasuring Lin for much longer.  He was finding out that there weren’t many things he enjoyed more than having a say in just how much stimulation his partner was getting. He practically got off on getting other people off. If he was honest, he got just as much pleasure from being a tease to Lin than he did when he was on the receiving end of whatever shenanigans he got himself into.

He grabbed hold of one of Lin’s legs and hoisted it up, resting his calf comfortably on his shoulder. Holding Lin open like this gave him an incredible unrestricted access to Lin’s now fully hard cock. He hooked his arm under Lin’s leg on his shoulder and held his hip tight against the mattress to restrict Lin’s unsatisfying body rolls. He used his free hand to etch some more red lines onto Lin’s tender stomach and pinched the nipple he hadn't bit when he reached it. The noises coming out of Lin were absolutely obscene and only became more so when Jon pulled his hand back to his face and licked his fingers wet before he reached back up to roll Lin’s nipple between a deft thumb and forefinger.  

“Huh, fuck, Jon, I promise if you don't _do_  something soon –”

“Am I not doing anything now? Your decibel level seems to disagree with you on that one,” Jon cut him off, the smirk coming back on his lips. Lin was seriously starting to hate that stupid smirk. (Except he couldn’t even if he tried his hardest.)

“Fuck you,” Lin gasped as Jon’s nails bit into the overworked skin of his nipple. He whined into his forearm and Jon could feel the tension in the muscles of the hip he was still holding down.

“Not the plan. At least not for tonight,” he added, his tone holding the promises of many more nights spent entangled together. “Tell me what you want.” Jon’s voice was rough, commanding, and when Lin locked eyes with him, Jon’s eyes were almost as dark as his own, the pupils blown wide enough to almost completely overtake the blue sea of his irises. Lin almost couldn't breathe under the intense stare. He felt shy at the prospect of voicing his wants out loud, but the sheer need pooling in his belly overpowered any embarrassment he could feel.

“Ugh, suck me off. Can you please suck me off? _Please?_ ” he begged.

Jon grinned wide, like he'd just unwrapped the best Christmas gift of his entire life, and his stare went from teasing to ravenous in less time than it took to blurt their hyphenated last names out. He inhaled as his head ducked down to lick a broad stripe on the underside of Lin’s flushed length, excruciatingly slowly, following the vein he found there with his tongue. Lin’s hand that wasn't caught between his own teeth shot down to grab a fistful of Jon’s curls. He let out a long moan that was partially muffled by the hand in his mouth. Jon mouthed at his cock some more while digging his nails into Lin’s hip with one hand and flicking at his nipple with the other. When Lin’s muffled moans turned into what Jon could at best describe as a string of Spanish curses, he withdrew the hand that was toying with Lin’s chest and brought it down to curl tightly around his dick. Lin’s breath caught high in his throat when Jon’s fingers clenched tight and hot around him, holding him up so that Jon could finally wrap his lips around the tip of Lin’s dick. The pressure was everywhere and it was exquisite. Jon immediately made good use of his tongue, swirling it around the head, dipping ever-so-slightly in the slit, pushing into the soft spot just under the head, as he stroked up and down every part of Lin that wasn't in his mouth. He hollowed his cheeks as best he could and twisted his wrist in time with the unrelenting pace of his tongue.

Lin squeezed his eyes shut and allowed himself to only feel for once. It was no secret to him that sex was one of the rare occasions during which he managed to shut his brain down, he was no virgin after all. But this? This was in every respect new for him. This was, in the stretch of the word, Lin’s first time all over again. He could _feel_  the differences in the way Jon was stimulating him, an experienced hand and a mouth that knew what they were doing by virtue of having been in his exact position before, which was more than he could say of any of his previous partners − he’d never much as kissed another man before. He felt infinitely more relaxed and tense, simultaneously, than he’d ever been before. The dry tightness of Jon’s fist around him, contrasted with the wet heat of his mouth, were enough to send his mind flying and he never wanted it to stop. He felt like Jon’s skilled tongue was everywhere at once and he couldn’t get enough of the sensations, the way it was slicking him up, how it was applying just the perfect amount of pressure under the head, the way it was stroking gently around the tip, over and over.

He looked down to see Jon’s eyes focused on his own and he couldn’t help the way his brow furrowed with need. He hoisted himself up on his elbows to have a better view of his husband and moaned at the sight of his pink lips stretched tight around him.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Lin breathed out, his fists closing tightly around the bedspread. ”You’re so fucking beautiful like that,” and he involuntarily broke free of the grip that Jon had on him and his hip stuttered up into his mouth. The hand that Jon was still using to stroke him up and down, twisting, kept Lin from hitting the back of Jon’s throat but he felt dizzy regardless. Jon’s head started bobbing up and down in time to meet Lin’s rolls, supplying a perfect amount of pressure and stimulation at all times, and Lin didn’t know how his tongue was still laving all around him, but it was, and it was so good, and he started pressing his hips up more and more erratically, and -

Jon popped off. Lin whined when the movements of his pelvis didn’t gain him any more of the pressure he had needed so much just a second prior.

“What, no, why, don’t stop, why’d you stop, Jon!” The intensity of the need that he felt was throwing him off and he couldn’t think clearly, only could think of how close he was, how very _close_  to his release, and he’d been cut off dead in his tracks. His cock jumped slightly, throbbed in Jon’s now stilled hand, and he could see a bead of precome forming at the tip, and it was so fucking _unfair_. He panted hard, his chest heaving.

“You were having way too much fun up there, gorgeous thing.” If Lin thought that Jon’s voice had been coarse before, it had been absolutely nothing compared to the deep, uneven tones of it now.

Lin swore in Spanish and Jon chuckled darkly before he moved back in and slowly started to press open-mouthed kisses along Lin’s cock. It would have been perfect if Jon wasn’t taking his sweet time between each kisses, giving Lin way too much time to recover, even if it was only a little. Now was not the time Lin wanted to find out if dicks could also get hickeys but that seemed to be Jon’s intent, and he would probably be dead by the time the results of Jon’s sucking showed up.

“I’m not having fun at all anymore,” Lin lied (as if), hoping it’d get Jon’s attention focused on him being rushed to the point of ecstasy and actually carried through it this time.

Jon used the hand that had been recently freed of its duty to capture Lin’s movements and snaked it up against his torso, past his chest, nails grazing the taut skin of his neck and over the tight tendons straining there, until he reached Lin’s lips. Lin found himself thankful for Jon being that much taller than him because this was no challenge for him at all. Lin instinctively used his prodding tongue to swirl around Jon’s digits, never breaking eye contact, and suddenly Jon’s fingers were pushing into his mouth, down on his tongue, and his brain was so close to short circuiting with how intimate and filthy this felt to him. He could feel the hard callouses at the edge of Jon’s fingers, taste the salt on his skin, and wanted nothing more than to bite down on them until he was afforded pleasure again.

“Stop talking,” and the resolve in Jon’s voice was enough for Lin’s breath to hitch and come to a full stop in his throat. “That is, if you want me to start moving again,” and how was he supposed to keep quiet at a sentence like _that_? He couldn’t form words (due both to the fingers pressing deep and down on his tongue and the fog taking over his brain), but it took every ounce of self control he could muster to catch the high moan before it took form against his vocal chords. He started trembling with arousal and with the tension taking his muscles hostage. He could only strain for so long before his entire body gave out. After what felt like several lifetimes of Jon exploring his mouth with two, and then three fingers, the hand that had been gripping hard at the base of his cock started stroking again and Lin mewled when he saw Jon intentionally drool all down his length, and he knew that Jon was doing that solely for the dramatic aspects of it but it turned him on further nonetheless. His legs started properly shaking with how desperate he was when he looked at himself disappear in Jon’s beautiful, awaiting mouth.

“Jon, fuck, _Jon_ , honey, I'm not gonna last much longer, oh fuck, _oh_ ," Lin gasped around Jon’s fingers in between moans.

Jon took Lin’s plea as a cue to keep going until he’d push Lin over the edge. He took his wet fingers out of Lin’s mouth and followed down his arm to be able to hold Lin’s hand before he’d reach his climax, while he moved his other hand down to the base of Lin’s dick instead of stroking, so that he could lower his head and hollow his cheeks further around the hot weight on his tongue. Lin started bucking erratically and he near crushed Jon’s hand in his own, nudging the back of Jon’s throat a few times, but it felt too good to stop and he was too close and desperate to be any more considerate.

“Don't stop, fuck, don't stop, oh god, I’m coming, oh!” Lin shuddered, his elbows giving away. He threw his head back against the pillows, his back arching off the mattress, and shot down Jon’s throat in thick waves, Jon never letting go of his hand. He swallowed around the tip of Lin’s cock, only slowing down his light bobbing and the lazy movements of his tongue when Lin’s hand in his hair tugged him off. “Too sensitive,” Lin said, the edge of laughter colouring his voice in the afterglow. “Oh, fuck, when’d you get so good at this?” Lin closed his eyes and let himself go limp on the mattress. “Just… fuck. Gimme a minute. Kiss me.”

Lin clearly didn't have it in him to do anything else but look pretty and flustered and who was Jon to refuse him? He moved back up, lined his own body up against Lin’s, careful not to overstimulate him, and pressed a kiss against Lin’s glistening lips, filthy at best but oh so satisfying. Lin’s mouth parted, his jaw slack, and let his tongue slide across Jon’s bottom lip, asking for a way in. Their tongues met, slow and sloppy, and there was something incredibly hot about Lin being able to taste himself in Jon’s mouth. He couldn't say he'd ever done something this intimate before and he ended up wondering where Jon had been in the previous twenty-six years of his life, and how he'd gotten lucky enough to marry him in Vegas. Nothing made sense. He didn't care. He wasn’t sure anything in his life had ever made sense anyway until Jon came along. It would figure that his marriage would be the most senseless thing ever.

Once his breathing resumed a somewhat normal pace, he brought his hands up from the mattress and felt Jon’s arms, his toned biceps, the way the muscles of his shoulders were flexing under his touch. He dragged his short nails down Jon’s back until he reached the curve of his ass, grabbing a handful, squeezing hard and tugging Jon up flush against him. He could feel how hard and ready Jon was, painting wet strokes in the crook of his thigh where their bodies met. Jon moaned low in his mouth in response and the vibrations made Lin dizzier than he already was. He wanted to be good to his husband, especially after what he'd just experienced, but he wasn’t nearly as experienced in that regards as Jon was, and the treacherous drops of self-consciousness seeped back into the cracks. He rocked gently under the weight of Jon’s body on top of his and hummed when he heard the sharp intake of air through Jon’s open lips. Lin used the fact that Jon was momentarily distracted to flip them around, back to how they were positioned earlier, with Lin sitting on Jon’s lap this time, straddling. He took a hold of both of Jon’s arms, brought them over his head, ducked down to kiss him all tongue and teeth and ground his hips down in hopes to give Jon the friction he needed.

“Ugh, Lin, I need you so bad,” Jon moaned in the kiss, squaring his hips up as much as he could. The soft hair on Lin’s chest was brushing against Jon’s own with every move of his hips and his skin erupted in goosebumps. “You have no idea how much I want you.”

“We're in no rush, pretty boy. Or are we?” If Jon could have his way, he'd say it was definitely not the time for Lin to be such a tease, but he didn't quite have the brainpower required to say that when all he could focus on was the need throbbing all the way down his spine and the drag of Lin’s ass against him. He wasn’t sure he could make such a claim after teasing Lin the way he did earlier, anyways.

He’d been hard for too long, and Lin had looked so delicious as he was coming and then coming _down,_ that Jon could already feel himself starting to drip on his own belly.

“Lin, please. Need you,” he whispered.

“But you've got me, honey. You've got me. In any way you want, too.”

“Need more. Please?” The whine was not nearly enough to cover the way the sheer want in Jon’s voice made it quiver.

He rose up against Lin’s body. Lin bit down on his bottom lip, making Jon positively shudder in his grip. Lin released his wrists and muttered a quiet “Don’t move” as he moved off Jon’s body, then down enough to wrap his lips around Jon’s nipple. Jon keened at the loss of friction on his cock, involuntarily thrusting his hips up in the air. Lin brought one of his hands up to tug at Jon’s hair once more and ghosted down his abdomen with the other. Jon knew he wouldn't last long, he'd been wanting this for too long and making Lin come had turned him on to whole new levels. Part of Lin really wanted to see how long he could get away with teasing the way Jon had done to him, but part of him really wanted to see his face as he came and wanted it now. There would be plenty more opportunities to make Jon beg later on.

Lin wrapped his fingers around Jon and started moving in ways he knew felt good on him, slowly twisting, then squeezing at the head and skirting his thumb across the head of Jon’s beautifully flushed cock. The gasps and moans he heard in response were telling him he must have been doing something right. He'd never done something like this to anyone else before, never even thought about it much, so what he was lacking in the experience department he was clearly trying to make up with passion, his tongue and teeth on Jon’s chest, and dirty talk. He knew his way with words, he was confident that he could talk Jon through this.

“Pretty boy, you look so good right now. Look at me,” Lin purred. Jon bit his tongue and looked down at him, lust still clouding his gaze and making it hard for him to focus. “This feels good, honey, huh? You like that, being stretched between the hand in your hair and the one on your cock?” Lin was getting a renewed kick out of using his words to get someone off, and if the way Jon’s entire body was flushing red was any indication, he was also enjoying the moment. “Keep your hand up there for me, precious gem, so beautiful. You don't get to use them tonight. Fuck, you're so hot like that. You look so fucking good, you’re so good for me. You like being good for me, don’t you?”

Jon couldn't keep his eyes open so he threw his head back and finally let himself moan loudly. “Feels. So. Fucking. Good. Oh god, keep going, keep doing that, keep going, Lin, fuck!” All the restraint he had to keep quiet fell away and Jon’s hips started meeting Lin’s hand halfway, coming up in with a raw force, irregular punctuations of his hips when his hands were stuck above his head and his balance was all throw off. “Lin, I'm so close, fuck, keep going, can I come, please let me come,” Jon panted, shuddering, gasps punctuating every word.

“You want to come, honey? Want to come all over your beautiful chest, huh? Come on, pretty boy, come for me. Let it go. Come on. Show me how much you enjoy this.”

Lin let his tongue swirl around Jon’s nipple again before he bit down and that was just what Jon needed to be sent flying. His breath completely stopped in his throat as he gasped, his face contorted by concentration as he came hard over himself and Lin’s hand. Lin stroked him through all of the aftershocks and began kissing all over the parts of his chest that he could reach before Jon tugged him up to kiss him properly as he came down from the ecstasy.

Jon let out a shuddery laugh as he regained power over his body. “God. That was so good. I'm exhausted. I'm filthy. So good,” he breathed out, holding Lin close, his eyes shut. “Should've known you'd talk so much.”

Lin smacked him lightly on the shoulder, a playful smirk on his face. “Don't tell me you didn't enjoy that talk. I've got pretty solid proof otherwise,” Lin dropped as he looked down at Jon’s chest with purpose. “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah? I’ll go grab a towel. Stay put.”

“Couldn't move if I tried,” Jon replied with a loving and lazy smile on his lips.

Lin came back with a warm, damp washcloth, made sure to get every drying streak off of Jon’s freckled skin and then curled himself into his embrace under the covers, chests lining up, pulling Jon’s limbs around him like a blanket. He took his time kissing him lovingly, stroking his hair and his beautiful face. His last thought before he drifted off was about how he couldn't believe how much his life had changed so drastically in the previous 24 hours. He tucked himself under Jon’s chin. He was okay with it. He was more than okay with it, actually. There was a peace of mind surrounding him that did not happen nearly often enough. Was that what bliss was?

A single thought made its way through his foggy mind as sleep took over. God fucking dammit. They didn’t even drink that damn champagne.

 


	2. Everything's Easier When You're Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He turned back around and brought a hand to cup Jon’s face gently, dragging his thumb across Jon’s defined cheekbone like his skin was Braille and Lin was learning to read._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We... promised ourselves chapter 2 wouldn't be as long as chapter 1. We failed. It's longer. There's a chance we might be sorry, but it's genuinely not our fault that these two idiots are such a damn joy to write.  
> We stole the title from ITH. Lin gets credit on that one.

The next time Lin woke up, his brain registered two things before he even opened an eye: first, it was still dark outside. He'd spent enough sleepless nights in college to know exactly how the light filtered in at any given hour of the night, even behind closed lids. Secondly, Jon's arms were not around him anymore. He blindly groped around Jon's side of the bed, frowning as he came up empty. That was when he heard the faint rustling of sheets and Lin's heart plummeted in his chest. Did Jon hate sharing a bed with him so much that he'd chosen to slip out in the middle of the night and switch beds? He knew he probably moved too much in his sleep, but did Jon not even give him a chance? Lin refused to think of how he didn’t manage to make it through the first night and to dwell on how his heart felt like it was breaking in millions of pieces. It dawned on his exhausted brain, then, that the room didn't even _have_ a second bed and his frown deepened. Where was Jon then?

Turning his head sideways, he cracked an eye open and closed it again quickly once he was certain Jon wasn't lying next to him. He couldn’t move. He heard more rustling, but he knew he hadn't moved so he couldn’t have been the cause. What…? Something else suddenly registered in the sleep-induced fog surrounding his brain: something soft was being pressed against the skin of his lower stomach, hips, and upper thighs. It took him an embarrassingly long amount of time to figure out what it was exactly: kisses. Lips. The faintest scratch of stubble.

Confused, and admittedly not entirely awoken yet, Lin opened his eyes before he picked up the blankets by the corners closest to his torso and threw them towards Jon’s side of the bed. Lin blinked slowly as a pair of blue eyes looked up, shining mischievously in the dark from where they'd previously been hidden.

“Jon?” Lin asked sleepily, making him pull away from his skin and smile. “What… What are you doing?” Lin lifted his head to look at the alarm clock and groaned. “It’s 4 in the morning.” He covered his eyes with both heels of his palms, trying to rub the sleep away. “You should be sleeping. And me, too, while we’re at it. It is definitely not morning yet.”

Jon chuckled and moved himself up Lin’s body, pressing more tender kisses to his skin. With a grin, he bopped Lin’s nose with his own before he pecked his lips in a kiss that ended way too quickly, in Lin’s opinion at least. Regardless of how tired he was, he decided that sleep could probably wait another minute or two or ten if he was gonna be kissing Jon instead. Lin moved his hands away, if only for the sole purpose of being able to see Jon’s gorgeous blue eyes, and relocated them to Jon’s arms as he got lost in his stare, his thumbs running over the defined line of Jon’s biceps. He tried his best not to swoon noticeably. He failed miserably, if he trusted Jon's knowing grin.

“Well, I was. Up until twenty minutes ago that is. I was about to fall back asleep when I remembered the champagne and I thought about how it would be a shame to have had it sent up and not even take a sip. And it occurred to me that you got an awful lot of kisses considering I was supposed to hold off until you opened that bottle. Although,” Jon glanced down at Lin’s lips and licked his, “those lips are pretty darn hard to resist.” As though he wanted to give weight to his words, Jon closed the short distance between them and kissed him once more. “Come on,” he begun after he moved aside, helping Lin sit up against the pillows, “I want to have a toast with my husband.”

Jon picked up the bottle that Lin had abandoned on the nightstand earlier and handed it over to him, leaving him to open it while he went to pick up the flutes and flick on the nightstand lamp. Lin was distracted by Jon’s perfect ass, the (objectively) adorable dimples of his lower back, the way that his entire body was lightly peppered with freckles. He unashamedly stared at the curve of Jon’s cheeks and the smooth space where they became his thighs. How he was ever going to get anything done ever again if they moved in together completely eluded Lin at the moment. Although in hindsight, the view was incredible enough that he wasn’t even sure it remotely worried him at all.

Jon turned around and Lin found himself staring at his cock. He blushed for getting caught and looked away, lightly scratching at his scalp before he focused on opening the damn bottle. It was no easy task and required all of his attention, considering the half-sleepy half-stunned fog all over his brain, and the fact that his hands were still in that clumsy just-woke-up phase. It wasn't fair of Jon to test his champagne-opening abilities against his own words from earlier that night, when he'd claimed he was a pro at it, after giving him the greatest of orgasms and waking him up in the middle of a deep sleep phase and standing stark naked in his beautiful body as if it was the smallest of all deals. As if.

An amused smirk painted itself on Jon’s lips as he crawled back into bed.

“Good things come to those who wait, Romeo,” Jon whispered in Lin’s ear.

Lin tensed for a fraction of a second and let a shaky breath out, not having realized how close to him Jon had moved. He groaned.

“Minx,” he muttered over his shoulder, making Jon chuckle. He definitely wasn't going back to sleep now, regardless of how much both his body and his brain needed to do just that.

“You love it,” Jon whispered with a cheek to his words that did not leave Lin indifferent. “Now open this damn bottle and show me I was right to give you that many kisses last night or I might just have to take them back.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Lin shot back without thinking. “I mean, I already got the foil off so I’m a step ahead,” he paused. “Did you know you have those Venus dimples? Or Apollo dimples, I guess.”

Jon chuckled. “I did, actually. I mean, this _has_ been my body for the past 21 years. I’ve had time to explore it.”

Lin groaned again. He didn’t know if Jon had chosen the verb ‘explore’ on purpose, but if he had… God, he really had married a tease.

Jon scooted up infinitely closer to his husband and decided to test his resolve by being as distracting as he possibly could while he waited for Lin to show him his bottle-opening skills. He leaned in by Lin’s side and deposited the flutes lightly on the bed, on the other side of his husband. He held himself up on one arm and threw a leg in Lin’s lap, effectively cuddling him and trapping him there at once. He ghosted his free hand on Lin’s chest, exhaling warm air on the taut, golden skin of his neck. He let his tongue dart out to tease at the prominent tendons on Lin’s neck. As Lin twisted and pulled at the tab securing the top of the bottle, Jon pulled on the soft skin of Lin’s earlobe in time. He could feel Lin shudder against him and looked down to see him clutch at the bottle to try and minimize the slight shaking of his hands, his eyes shut and his breath not so calm.

“Are you trying to kill me? Is this what's going on here?” And Lin’s voice was already dipping in his deeper register. Jon was reveling in how much of a reaction he could get out of Lin.

“What would be the fun in that, now? I’m at least going to wait until I’ve had a few sips before I do anything to you,” Jon said in a voice that was way too casual for the atmosphere in the room. Lin had to remind himself that he was an actor – and a damn good one at that, if he could rein in his voice that easily.

“Oh, don’t play coy now. You know damn well what you're doing to me already.” Lin cocked an eyebrow and shot a side-eye glance at his lover with a meaningful move of his chin pointing down at Jon’s leg curling around his lap.

Jon took on a falsely offended air and pretended to gasp. “I would never,” he said, joyful, as he let his hand snake down to Lin’s stomach, leaving goosebumps in his wake. His actions were the clearest contrast to his words and Lin was enjoying every second of both. Jon reattached his lips to Lin’s ear with the barest presence of teeth against the sensitive skin of his lobe.

Lin finally hooked his thumbs under the head of the cork and pushed up with all the seemingly unaffected strength he could gather. As the distinctive “Pop!” echoed through the room and the cork went flying up to land somewhere forgotten on the floor, Jon’s teeth bit down hard and they both let out a hum – Jon’s a tad apologetic (albeit not enough to let go), and Lin’s highly appreciative of the sensations.

“How’s that to you, huh? Worth a few kisses, I hope?”

“A thousand sweet kisses,” Jon replied singing, and he was so adorable and dorky in that moment that Lin couldn't help but burst out laughing.

“Maybe marrying another Broadway nerd was the best decision of my life, after all. I hope you're ready for the ridiculous amount of references you're subjecting yourself to,” Lin laughed as he reached over to grab the flutes by his side, handing one to Jon.

“I think I can handle it,” Jon replied with a mysterious smile. He'd been living and breathing Broadway since he was still wearing diapers, he definitely _could_ handle this.

Jon used the opportunity to shuffle in higher up against the pillows and slip the arm he was using to hold himself up behind Lin, resting his hand on the small of his back and his head on his shoulder. Lin poured them both a glass of champagne and then put the bottle away, raising his own flute expectantly as he turned his gaze back on Jon.

“You said you wanted to toast?” Lin asked, a playful grin stretching his lips.

Jon huffed a laugh before he leaned forward and kissed him. This kiss somehow felt like the polar opposite of every other one they had shared so far. Where others had been sloppy, this one was careful. Where others had been passionate, this one, while still being intense, carried an emotional weight to it that had never been truly there between the two of them. When they pulled apart, Lin exhaled very slowly through his nose, trying to get his bearings back. Lin was pretty sure this was the kind of kiss he would have gotten all night when prompted by their friends and family had they gotten a real wedding reception.

Miraculously, neither one of them had dropped or tipped their flutes and Jon pulled farther away, taking in all of Lin.

“Not sure if this counts as a toast but if it’s your idea of one, I’ll take a million more,” Lin said, still slightly dazed, making Jon laugh quietly.

“That was just the opening line,” he replied with a teasing wink.

“Go on, then,” Lin prompted, unconsciously licking his lips but immediately noticing how Jon’s attention seemed to follow his tongue. It took a moment for him to look back up into Lin’s eyes. Lin felt somehow reassured that he could have the same kind of effect on Jon than Jon had on him.

“I wanted to say that this is probably the most reckless thing I’ve ever done. Not only marrying a stranger in Vegas, but also choosing to see it through too. But… Lin… I’m so glad this whole crazy adventure is happening to me with you by my side. I don’t know what I said or what I did to convince you to marry me, or even if I was the one that needed convincing, but I’m so glad it’s happening with you. I don’t know what I vowed to you in that chapel, but I want you to know that I vow to always cherish you. To never take your love for granted, to never take _you_ for granted. I…” He paused, looking for the right words in the whirlwind of ideas that was swirling in his mind. “I don’t know what’s going to happen. I wish ‘in sickness’ wasn’t already upon us. I wish we had so much more ‘in health’ than what we might be facing. But if these are my last good moments, then…” Jon choked up and Lin pulled him into another kiss, tears welling up in his own eyes.

“Shh. Shh. Don’t say that. We’re gonna get so much time together, pretty boy. So much. We’re going to grow old and wrinkly and you’re going to get tired of me before anything truly bad ever happens, do you hear me?” Lin interrupted.

“Lin… Please. Let me…” Jon begged before he swallowed tightly and forced a smile. “If these are my last good moments, then I’m so glad that I will have gotten to know you. I do hope everything goes well. I _do_ hope we’ll get to grow old and wrinkly together. But just in case we don’t… I’m sorry if I ever become a burden for you. Just know that, I will cherish every minute we’ve had and all the minutes we will get to have together forever more.”

Lin heard the ‘I love you’ lying behind his words that Jon seemed determined to keep for himself. But he knew it was there. He could hear it as clearly as if Jon had let himself say it.

“To a night of reckless drinking that led to the greatest adventure of all,” Jon said, trying to lighten the mood, as he tipped his flute toward Lin.

“To a night of reckless drinking that led to the greatest adventure of all,” Lin repeated, clinking his flute to Jon’s before they both took a sip. “Well, if you insist on a toast, I’m going to make one too. When I woke up, I prayed the guy in my bed was going to be Lac. I thought it’d be easy to laugh it off and forget it ever happened to begin with, and it was gonna be easy for us to get divorced in New York. I hoped that at least maybe I’d married him and then went on to cheat on him because that was something I could have dealt with. He’s not even into dudes, so really. I wasn't sure I could deal with having _married_ a stranger, though. But then you woke up and I saw your eyes and… I was a goner. There was no question about it, for me, but I had no idea that this was remotely something you’d also want to pursue… I mean, this is crazy. But I want to give this a shot, it means more to me than anything else I’ve ever done in my life. I’d give up having _In The Heights_ on Broadway if I had to in order to keep you by my side. I will in a heartbeat if you need me to take care of you because of whatever treatment you’re gonna have to go through. I’ll be there. Let me be there,” Lin asked, as if he needed that more than the air in his lungs – if someone had asked him right then, he would have said he did. “I’ll look for the cure myself if I have to. For better and for worse, in health and in sickness, ‘til death do us part and until the end of days after that.” Lin raised his flute again and Jon offered him a smile.

“For better and for worse, in health and in sickness, ‘til death do us part and until the end of days after that,” Jon repeated, going through the same motions Lin had after his own speech.

They sipped in comfortable silence for a moment, both trying to reign in their emotions.

“But please don’t actually count on me to look for the cure for cancer?” Lin said, gaining Jon’s attention back. “I failed Chemistry 101. I wouldn’t even trust myself with baking, to be honest. Anything involving math loses me. And I’m pretty certain you can't find any type of cures without involving numbers somehow.”

Jon stared at him, slightly dumbfounded for what felt like an eternity, before he snorted and started laughing. Before long, he was gasping for air with tears in his eyes.

“Come here,” Jon said, pulling Lin to him so he could kiss him again. “I’ll keep an eye on our finances. And on the cooking too, while I’m at it,” Jon teased.

“Good idea,” Lin mumbled against his lips. “How did I score this great of a husband?” Lin asked, not caring that his voice was muffled against Jon’s face.

“Do you ever shut up? Obviously, you can keep complimenting me, but _do you ever shut up?_ ”

“No,” Lin responded honestly. “Even less likely when my husband tastes of champagne and it gets to my head. You really can't blame me when you're sitting here looking like you came straight down from Mount Olympus and you’re feeding me alcohols, now, come on.”

Jon stroked his face and breathed in, his forehead against Lin’s.

“I should probably consider getting used to that. Or not. Maybe I’ll have to find ways to shut you up one of these days..”

That sounded much more like a disguised threat than it did a simple voiced thought. With that, he pulled back just enough to down his flute in one swig, put it back on the bedside table, and moved to a straddling position instead of simply having one leg hooked over Lin’s hip. After a promise like this, under his gaze and with the weight of Jon’s body towering above his like this, Lin felt utterly powerless. He could feel a thrill rolling down his spine at the implications that he was at Jon’s mercy. Following Jon’s lead, he tipped his own flute back, never breaking eye contact, and handed the glass to Jon so that he could deposit it next to his own empty one. He was taller, and his movements weren't restricted the way Lin’s were, so it only made sense for him to not even bother trying to reach the bedside table himself from his spot on the mattress. Plus, that gave him a free excuse to watch Jon’s muscles flex as he reached over, so really he was winning everything, hands down. He reached up to cage his face between both of his hands and pulled him down, trying to say with a kiss what he could never actually find the words for. The gratefulness, the passion he felt, the unshakeable feeling that this was so, so right.

“You want to know what I’m thinking, pretty boy?” Lin asked once they pulled apart.

Jon buried his face in the crook of Lin’s neck, nuzzling his skin and pressing kisses to his pulse point. He hummed to spur Lin on.

“I think I want to know how champagne tastes when I lick it off of _you_ ,” he replied, his voice hoarse.

Jon paused, blinking slowly as he considered the idea. It sounded messy. He pulled away, smirking at Lin.

“Do you now?” Jon asked.

Lin nodded frantically and Jon moved off of him to lay next to him, stretching himself out, intentionally flexing his muscles for no valid reason apart from being born to tease Lin, who obviously appreciated the gesture.

“How do you want me?”

Lin groaned. It shouldn't be possible to be this much of a tease and sound so damn innocent at once. He wanted nothing more than to ravish him and he honestly would refuse to take any accountability if Jon was to be wrecked in the process. A million scenarios flew through his mind, give or take a few, and the mildest of them he could barely imagine voicing out loud. He blushed hard as he raked his eyes down Jon’s body, the way he stretched his arms above his head, a hand under his skull, the way his sculpted chest kept twitching in betrayal of his anticipation, the abundance of freckles (Lin really couldn't get over that), his smooth thighs, almost hairless, probably strong enough to kill him if he merely decided to crush him between his legs.

“You are going to destroy me. You will be the death of me. I don't remotely know how to start answering such a question. Be less specific next time, will ya?” He joked.

Jon chuckled. “You’re the one who married a 21 year-old. Get used to it,” he replied cheekily.

“Brilliant idea that was, really,” Lin commented, shrugging one of his shoulders. Lin reached for the bottle of champagne, reluctant to tear his eyes off of Jon’s body.

In all honesty, Lin had never done this before. He wasn’t even sure it would work, but he wanted to try and he was willing to do whatever it would take to make it work. He was going to. He considered the bottle, then the flutes and then Jon’s body, his brows frowning in concentration.

“Stay put,” Lin commanded before he scrambled to get out of bed, leaving a confused Jon behind.

Lin went to the bathroom to pick up one of the towels − uh, not as nice as the ones from the Bellagio, he noted − and brought it back with him, casually throwing it at Jon who raised an eyebrow interrogatively.

“Lay on top of it. That way if you can’t stay still the blankets won’t be a wet mess,” Lin said with a wink, ridiculously proud of himself for thinking of that.

Jon chuckled but did as he was told. He couldn’t say it was a bad idea. He didn’t say it out loud, but he made it his own challenge to avoid any spillage.

“As for how I want you,” Lin started as he made his way back to the bed, “I won’t lie and pretend there wasn’t a million different ideas running through my mind when you said that. But for now…” He let his eyes take the entirety of Jon’s body, smirking when he noticed him shiver under his intensity, “I’d say on your back. I’m going to find every dip and crevice on your body that can hold even a single drop of champagne and I’m going to lick it off of your skin.”

“Lin…” Jon whimpered, his voice already quivering and sounding closer to a moan than anything else. His body relaxed on the bed, almost melting in the towel.

Lin loosely picked up the bottle before he moved to the end of the bed, licking his lips hungrily.

“Oh, pretty boy. If only you could see yourself like this,” Lin stalked forward, climbing onto the bed. “I wish I had my camera right now,” he paused. “Hm… Yes. Would you like that, gorgeous? Just you and me. Crisp white sheets, make you look like the angel you are, only for me to enjoy.”

Jon whimpered and tried to reach out to grab Lin, or any part of him that he could reach, really. He wriggled under Lin’s intense gaze, feeling himself blush. He had never even so much as given a thought to the whole concept of taking nude pictures, whether it was for a lover or a professional photographer. But that whole idea of posing for Lin? Jesus, he wasn’t sure if the way his heart fluttered was due to the thrill of doing something this new and personal or if it was lust in its purest form. Jon knew two things for certain however: first, he was willing to try it if it made Lin happy, and second, he needed his husband to touch him and to _kiss him_ because he was going to go crazy before long. He could all but feel the blood rushing down his veins to pool at the bottom of his stomach.

“Please. Get back here,” Jon begged and Lin raised an eyebrow in response.

“After your teasing from earlier? Twice might I add? Oh, I don’t think so, honey. It’s my turn to play and I think I’m going to enjoy it.” Lin slowly made his way up Jon’s body, pressing kisses to his calves and up his legs as he moved up.

Jon threw his head back with a displeased groan that made Lin chuckle.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make it real good for you too,” Lin promised as he straddled Jon’s lap, his free hand resting on his hip and kneading it lightly. “Let's start with the obvious, shall we?”

Lin pressed his thumb over the opening but just as he was about to start moving again, an idea popped into his mind and he considered the bottle, then Jon, and a smirk slowly stretched his lips. Oh, he was _going to_ get his revenge and it was going to be _fun_. Although, he had to admit, watching Jon squirm under him was pretty damn fun too. With his thumb stopping most of the flow, Lin poured a tiny amount of champagne in Jon's navel. He leaned forward and, just as his tongue darted out, Jon breathed in sharply. Lin balanced the bottle against Jon’s hip, reached up, and presented him his wet thumb, raising an eyebrow. Jon parted his lips, a sound halfway between a moan and a whimper escaping him.

“Suck on it for me, pretty boy,” Lin said. Jon didn't have the mind to do anything more than nod, and _that_ was definitely a whimper.

Jon took Lin's thumb in his mouth, his tongue automatically running along its pad while Lin slurped the champagne from Jon's navel. Lin licked his lips as he pulled away, gently taking his thumb back but not before he dragged Jon’s lip down filthily first.

“I was right. Champagne is so much better off of you,” Lin praised. “What do you think?”

“Fuck, Lin,” Jon replied, arching his back off the bed.

Lin chuckled as he let his hands roam his husband’s body, exploring his skin for any valley he could use to his advantage.

“You've got the right idea here, gorgeous. Come on,” he pressed gently on his stomach. “I can't pour it in if you stay like that,” Lin teased and Jon obediently fell back on the bed. “Good, good boy.”

Lin softly dug his fingers in the dip below Jon's breastbone, in the shallow indentation that sat between his pecs, below his chest but above his abs. It almost felt like a warning, and soon a small pool of champagne had been poured. Lin lapped at it while Jon sucked on his thumb again.

In and of itself, licking champagne off of your lover’s body was an act that Lin was discovering to be quite intimate to begin with, but he was pretty sure the experience was entirely enhanced by having Jon lick his thumb clean at the same time, swirling his tongue and biting down as he went. Although, the fact that he could feel Jon growing stiff against his chest might also have something to do with it. (Not that he wasn't starting to get an erection, too, from all this.)

“Bear with me, I want to try something, alright?” Lin asked and Jon nodded, trusting Lin to do as he pleased with him. “Give me your arm,” he said, stretching his hand out.

Jon obeyed without questioning. He was quickly learning that it wasn't because Lin's requests didn't make sense right away that they never would. Or that they weren't going to lead to something great. Lin folded his arm over his chest and stopped for a second to consider him, his brows creasing in concentration. He pursed his lips and reached forward, lifting Jon's shoulder off the bed until the perfect dip formed itself just above his collarbone.

“Ah ah!” Lin exclaimed in triumph. “Remember this for me, okay? I’m going to need you to do the exact same thing with the other side.”

Jon nodded again, even though he couldn’t see how he would actually remember, his eyes glazed over with need. He watched as Lin poured the champagne and their whole pattern started all over again. After Lin pulled away, Jon shifted to mirror his previous position, lifting his other shoulder up and creating a dip above his second collarbone. Pour, lick and nibble, repeat. Jon was getting more and more sensitive, more reactive, with every new sip. Eventually, Lin pulled him back down the bed by the hips to lay completely flat on his back. Jon let his eyes go shut and his head thump back against the mattress to revel in the electrifying sensations that were guaranteed to come.

“Can you put your hands behind your head for me?” He asked, the beginning notes of a slight lisp forming in his words likely due to the champagne he kept drinking.

Jon obliged.

“Perfect. You're so gorgeous. You're doing so well. Now, lift your chin up a bit, as if you were defying me. I’m gonna try something. Do you trust me?”

And Jon didn't have enough of his agency to remember how to use his words at that point – he was focusing on the need coiling tight at the bottom of his stomach and didn't want to miss a single nibble of sensation from Lin, so he simply hummed and nodded to show his approval. Of course he trusted Lin. As he thought that, he felt Lin carefully pouring the cold, tingly, fizzy golden liquid directly on his neck, in the dip below his Adam’s apple. He felt Lin bending down, so close to him, bodies almost lining up. A leg between his own, Lin straddling one of his thighs. Chests pressed tight against each other’s. The feeling of Lin breathing hot against the overworked skin of his throat, and the second he felt Lin’s tongue on such a vulnerable area of his body, he shuddered hard and arched up into his husband.

Which had the effect of pulling his neck taut, effectively stretching the skin over the dip that previously contained the fizzing alcohol – and he felt it trickle down on both sides of his neck and onto the towel. Good thinking on Lin’s part, that was for sure. He took a quick second to remember how to work his larynx and spoke up with a voice as quivering as a willow tree in a rainstorm.

“I, I’m… I’m so sorry, Lin,” he tried to articulate, but he was cut off by Lin attempting to lick at every escaping drop, pressing himself tighter still against Jon’s body, and the delightful friction on his cock only had him whimper some more.

Lin’s nimble, agile tongue chased the trails left behind by the runaway champagne and he let his bottom lip drag ever so slightly after his tongue, which had for result of effectively reducing Jon to a moaning puddle. He nosed behind his ear, nibbled lightly here and there, and repeated the process on the other side. He then moved up to tenderly kiss Jon’s mouth, letting him taste the alcohol and the faint hint of his own skin in Lin’s mouth.

“Hush, no need to apologize, beautiful,” Lin murmured against the skin of the underside of Jon’s jaw between open-mouthed kisses.

Jon moaned, one of his hands tangling itself in Lin’s hair to keep him in place. Lin hummed in response, nuzzling the spot under his ear, just where Jon’s jaw stopped.

“Lin, _please_ , I need you,” Jon begged, straining to look down at Lin’s body covering his own.

“I know, love, I know,” Lin replied before he carefully moved so he could look Jon in the eyes. “There are a couple more things I want to try first, okay? I’ll give you what you need after, I promise.”

“ _Please_ ,” Jon repeated, arching his back to press into Lin’s body, his eyes falling shut. He groaned at the friction against his cock. It was so much, and at the same time, far from enough. He wasn’t getting any actual stimulation. He was simply feeling, with excruciating clarity, every move of Lin’s body as he shifted up and down on him, he felt every shiver running down his spine, every twitch of his muscles. He couldn’t help the soft hip rolls, no matter how hard he tried – he knew this wasn’t about him, not yet anyway − but how was he supposed to stay still when Lin was doing what he was doing? He was playing with Jon like he was a shiny new toy and part of him wanted to shudder at the idea and wanted nothing more than to be good for him, but the other part of him was increasingly overwhelmed by the need making itself known through what seemed like every single cell in his body.

Jon’s eyes snapped open when he felt Lin move off of him and he whimpered at the loss.

“Lin!” Jon cried out, sounding utterly desperate to get him back where he had just been.

“Roll over,” Lin said, his voice rough with want and need.

Jon obeyed with a shuddery sigh and moved his arms up to fold them under his head and rest on his forearms, which had the wonderful consequence of working the muscles in his shoulders and upper back, which alone would have the power to have Lin drool all over. Lin couldn’t decide if Jon was flexing on purpose to elicit a reaction from him or if he was naturally talented at presenting himself under the best light. Considering he was originating a lead role on Broadway at the tender age of 21, Lin was inclined to believe it was a combination of both.

As Jon moved, it occurred to Lin that he hadn't had nearly enough occasions yet to admire Jon’s body from behind. Sure, he had done so a couple of minutes earlier when Jon had gotten up to get the flutes, but that wasn’t nearly enough to marvel at the beauty that Jonathan Groff embodied. And he’d been mostly focused on his ass back then, not taking in the entire picture. Once Jon had settled, Lin straddled the back of his thighs again and slowly ran his hands up and down the smooth expanse of his husband’s back. He tried not to think too much about how intimate it felt to be sitting on Jon like this, both of them stark naked and both of their bodies betraying their definite interest in the proceedings. He knew he’d have plenty of time later to get down to business if he could only carry this champagne matter through, and it took every ounce of self-restraint he possessed to keep his hips still and not grind down on Jon. He had to take a deep breath to reign his thoughts back in. He’d have to think about writing something that worshipped his husband one of these days. It took a whine from Jon and a teasing wriggle of his hips under his to bring Lin back to the present task at hand, too focused as he was on singing his husband’s praises in his mind.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Lin apologized, leaning forward to press a kiss to Jon’s spine. “You’re too gorgeous for my own good. Or yours, for that matter. How do you do that? Actually, don’t answer that.”

Giving himself a shake, Lin studied Jon’s back for a moment, quickly analyzing just where he could pour champagne. He decided on a spot on his spine between Jon’s shoulder blades, just low enough so that the champagne would run down toward the middle of his back rather than toward his neck. Lin quickly licked it up before it went too far, grinning like a cat that had just caught a mouse. He did it again in the valley at the small of his back, always favouring using the natural dip that Jon’s spine was creating.

“I might just have to start counting the freckles on your back instead of sheep when I can’t sleep,” Lin mused as he moved backwards, making Jon laugh and then hiss quietly through his teeth because of the way his laughter made his strung out body gently shake against the mattress. The gentle friction against his rapidly hardening cock was far from unwelcome, but with Lin’s weight trapping him in place, it was also far from being satisfying. “One last thing, pretty boy. Stay with me, okay?”

Jon nodded as best as he could in his position, taking a deep breath to steel himself. Lin leaned forward as he moved his body down between Jon’s legs, using the bottle of champagne in his hand to support himself, and pressed a tender kiss to both dimples of his lower back while his free hand went to rest on one of Jon’s butt cheeks, lightly kneading it with his fingers. Jon took a sharp breath in as Lin’s lips moved farther down still, pressing more kisses into his skin. Lin smirked against Jon’s buttock before he fully bit at it, never relenting on squeezing the other one at the same time. Jon moaned loudly, involuntarily rutting against the mattress now that he had regained some freedom of movement. Lin pulled away, playfully smacking his lips together and lightly hitting Jon’s cheek, eliciting a glorious moan from him and sensing how his entire body went tense in response, while at the same time pushing back into the touch.

“Yep. Hopefully, it’s not just the champagne talking, but you are positively delicious,” Lin said, almost as if he had considered the idea that there was a chance Jon wouldn’t be, and then pushed up from him again. “You okay, sweetheart?” Lin asked as he gently started rubbing Jon’s back, noticing how he had gone still since he had bitten down.

“I…” Jon started. “Gimme a minute,” he stammered, twisting his head to try and look at Lin, his eyes unfocused and breath ragged at best, panting.

Lin chuckled, reaching up to pet Jon’s hair fondly.

“I’m curious, now though. Do you always freeze like that when somebody bites you? Or is it only when you get your ass bitten?” Lin asked, clearly amused by the idea, making Jon groan loudly.

“I’m pretty sure you’re going to do everything in your power to find that out for yourself soon enough,” Jon replied, taking in a deep raspy breath. “Please tell me you’re done playing,” Jon pleaded, feeling as though he was on the verge of imploding. “I can’t take much more, Lin, I’ve never needed anything, anyone, this bad in my life,” and he hissed a soft _fuck_ as he dipped his head back down and let himself fully grind down against the mattress.

“I am,” Lin pledged, a soft smile playing on his lips, a soothing hand running up and down Jon’s hip. “How about you turn back around so I can take care of you, huh?” He punctuated his words with a few light taps of his fingers against Jon’s skin.

Jon nodded and breathed in deeply before he started to move. Lin waited for the right moment to get rid of the towel, ball it up and throw it off the bed, smiling as he did so. Despite all appearances, the comfort of his husband was at the top of his priorities and Lin was certain the sheets were much softer on his skin than that towel would ever be. The thought incidentally led him to wonder if one could get something akin to carpet burns with a towel. He pushed the idea aside when Jon sighed contentedly after he had lain on his back again, and this time, the full extent of his arousal was on display for Lin to marvel at. He would have been lying if he said he didn't feel a surge of pride at knowing that he was solely and entirely responsible for it.

“You’re good?” Lin asked, his voice barely above a whisper, not trusting his full voice.

Jon nodded and opened his arms. The darkness of his blown pupils was drawing Lin’s gaze like the strongest of magnets.

“I’d be better if my husband was in my arms though, instead of sitting there uselessly,” he replied playfully, bringing a leg up, folded at the knee, and arching an eyebrow at the same time, a move that had him look simultaneously adorably innocent and absolutely obscene when he put himself fully on display for Lin to look at, unashamedly feasting on the sight before him.

“If that’s all you need to be satisfied,” Lin began as he shifted around the bed, “then, I’ll happily oblige.” He reached down to set the bottle on the floor and started crawling towards Jon, crowding the space between his legs and above his chest, teasingly rolling his hips into Jon’s as he did so and trying his best to muffle his own moans.

“I wouldn’t say it’s the _only_ thing I need,” Jon remarked, and he started to sound breathless. “Kisses would be nice for example, but this is a great start, that’s for sure,” he teased.

Lin smiled with a slight shake of his head, but got closer nonetheless. He felt Jon’s sure arms wrap tight around him and his short nails raking down the soft skin of his back. As they kissed, Lin slowly started rolling his hips deeper, creating a delicious friction when they brushed against each other that made Jon break the kiss as he gasped, his head tilting up, his fingers digging into Lin’s muscles. He bucked up to meet Lin halfway and he didn't care whether that was instinct or purely lust driven.

“I’m pretty sure I promised I’d make this good for you, didn’t I?” Lin asked as he left a trail of kisses down Jon’s neck, bringing a hand to his torso to twist at his nipple gently. Jon gasped again at the sensation, making Lin smirk against his skin.

“You… You did,” Jon said, failing to breathe normally.

“Then I should probably make good on that promise,” Lin replied as he started moving his hips faster against Jon’s body.

“Yes, _please_ ,” Jon begged.

He wasn’t sure if he was begging Lin to follow up with his promise or if he was simply reacting to the friction on his cock, but he didn't think that mattered much at that point. His hands continued their journey south and he grabbed two handfuls of Lin’s ass, forcing their bodies ever so tightly against each other.

As Lin ground down against Jon’s thigh, he snaked a hand between their bodies and wrapped his fingers around Jon, timing his hand and his hips together. Their breathings came out ragged as Lin kept moving, pressing his forehead against the side of Jon’s neck, holding himself up on one arm. His hips missed a beat and he groaned, pushing himself up so he could kiss Jon, swallowing his husband’s moan at the same time.

In between trying his best to be good to his husband and trying not to focus on his own need, a thought made its way through Lin’s fuzzy brain. He suddenly was reminded of something Jon had said just earlier, how he was going to have to find ways of shutting Lin up, and how that had sent a shiver down his spine. He pulled his mouth off of Jon’s skin and looked down Jon’s abdomen, never relenting his pace. Jon’s hips, that had once simply been meeting him halfway, were now moving with no established rhythm, erratic beneath him. He was getting closer to his peak, the noises coming out of him were getting higher pitched and more expressive with each passing second, and Lin’s lust-powered brain decided it was as good a time as ever to try giving head for the first time. Give Jon a good way of shutting him up.

He slowed down the speed of his hand on Jon’s flushed cock and quickly moved down the bed, pressing open-mouthed kisses down his torso and his stomach. He looked up just in time to see Jon lift his head some and raise his eyebrows in question at Lin’s movements.

“Lin?” Jon breathed between two heaving pants.

“Shh. I’ve got you,” he said to Jon. “I’ve got this,” he added, mostly for himself.

While not completely stopping his hand, he felt like he was about to step into a whole new world. When he finally made it past Jon’s abs, his adorable navel, past the incredible definition of his hips, he took a deep breath and actually dared looking down at Jon’s erection in his fist. He brought his free hand under Jon’s ass as he was thrusting up and palmed at his cheek, appreciating how it was both soft at the surface and tense underneath. He couldn’t say he’d ever had the chance to have his face this close to a fully erect cock and it was sending a fizzing electricity all throughout his body. He looked up at Jon and halted his hand as smoothly as he could without making Jon feel like he was edging him, because that was a whole other game he wasn’t about to get into. The pure, undiluted arousal that he could read in Jon’s eyes and written all over his face, in conjunction with the way he felt Jon’s muscles clench and release under the hand that was holding him up, were all that he needed to be convinced that he could do this.

He looked down again and reveled in the dark flush of Jon’s sensitive skin, in the way that he could see how close Jon actually was, in the veins coursing all the way up from his balls to his head. He tentatively let his tongue out of his mouth and ever so slowly licked up a broad stripe on the underside of Jon’s erection, testing the waters. He felt more than he heard the way Jon gave up looking down and he could tell that he was trying not to buck his hips up too hard against his face. Once he reached the tip with his tongue, he willed the muscles in his jaw to relax and wrapped his lips around the entirety of the head of Jon’s cock. It felt so much bigger in his mouth than it had in his hand, but he found it wasn't entirely as hard as he would have thought. He tried remembering what he liked done onto him and used his tongue as skillfully as he could, swirling around, tracing Jon’s slit, pressing the tip just under the head. The muscles in Jon’s legs started spasming around him. He started stroking up and down again, with a slight twist on the upstroke, and the unfiltered moans he got in response were enough to send his brain flying with renewed arousal and pride. Lin retrieved his hand from under Jon’s ass and brought it back around to gently play with his balls as he tried hollowing his cheeks as best he could, attempting to move up and down at the same time, trying not to get overwhelmed by the way his own body was reacting to the scene and to the friction he was getting against the sheets.

“Lin, oh fuck, this is good, you’re good, Lin, _fuck_ , I’m not gonna last, I’m close, gonna come,” Jon was panting hard above him.

When Lin looked up he could see how he’d brought a hand up to his face, the palm pressing into his cheek and his fingers tangling themselves at the hair on his temple. There was a thin layer of sweat covering most of his upper body, a light sheen in the muted darkness of the room. Jon had brought up his other hand to his chest, and he toyed with his nipple with little precision, rubbing tight, messy circles around the hard bud. When Lin sped up the pace of his hand and the bobbing of his head, Jon’s own head shot up, his mouth formed a perfect O and his eyebrows knit tightly just above his eyes. Lin groaned at the back of his throat and the vibrations caused by the sound tipped Jon over at once.

To say that the mix of sweat and precome that Lin had tasted on Jon’s skin had prepared him for this would be a bit of an understatement as he felt Jon pulsing and coming in his mouth. It was perhaps thicker and more bitter than he’d expected, but also, he felt so good about knowing that he’d done this for Jon, he’d been good for him and he’d _given_ him this, and that was the only thing he could think about as he slowly worked Jon through his orgasm until his back hit the bed again and his breathing regained a somewhat normal speed. He swallowed as he watched the tension seep out of Jon’s body, as if a switch had been hit, completely shutting him down in the greatest of ways.

Lin suddenly realized that, while he had already said that he loved Jon and Jon hadn’t wanted to say it back (which was completely fine with him), Jon actually had – in his own way. Not with those exact words, that was true, but he had said it back with his body and with his toast earlier. Lin pulled away to look at Jon’s face, a fresh wave of emotions overwhelming him. What in Heaven’s name had he done to deserve any of this? In the past week or so, his life had been flipped upside down not once, but twice and both times had been for the absolute best − as far as he could tell. He was getting his show Off-Broadway, he was probably going to be able to persuade people to move _on_ Broadway if they did well enough, and he had woken up married to the amazing man that was Jonathan Groff. Not only that, said amazing man wanted to _stay_ married. To _him_. He was in no way special or extraordinary, he didn’t save lives on the daily, didn’t fight in the name of freedom or for the widows and orphans of this world. And yet, here he was. Getting every single one of his dreams, of his goals, ticked off of his list, even goals he didn’t know he had. The insecurities he had felt earlier in the day seemed so ridiculous now. He’d always been so afraid of not fitting in, of always being an outcast − he’d always sort of been − and he never handled rejection all too well. He had been working on that a lot lately, albeit kind of against his will, but there had been something about Jon that had just made Lin feel almost desperate to be in his good graces. Feeling as though he was successful on that front gave him a rewarding sense of accomplishment in ways he hadn’t thought possible.

“Come here, god, please come up here, I’m sorry,” Jon whispered with all the strength he could gather, trying his best to get Lin to slide up his body.

Lin shifted off to his side and pushed himself up to cuddle against Jon’s side, resting his head on his shoulder with Jon’s arm tugging him in close, wrapping his own arm across Jon’s torso and kissing every inch of skin he could reach. He vaguely wondered why Jon was apologizing after something this good, but didn’t quite have the brainpower required to process that question.

Lin would’ve loved to be able to say he had self-control, but if he was honest with himself, that was the one quality he was the most sorely lacking. And so he couldn’t exactly stop the way his hips shifted and ground down against Jon’s side. He couldn’t exactly stop the soft gasp escaping him, either. That was enough to get Jon out of the stupor of his afterglow. Jon tipped his head to the side and pulled Lin closer so that he could kiss his lips properly, and he tried to put as much intent as he could, because this was _good_ for them. And not only in the physical sense of the term, although neither one of them would have denied that. But that connection that was blossoming between the two of them? That intimacy that was starting to flourish with them? _That_ was good. Absolutely fucking amazing, even.

Keeping his arm under Lin’s neck, Jon rolled them over until Lin was trapped underneath his own body. He nipped hard at his bottom lip, pulled on it and ran his tongue against the skin between his teeth, making them both moan in unison. Jon straddled him and it was his turn to grind down, rolling his hips to give Lin the perfect amount of pressure and friction on his now painfully hard cock. Lin was leaking down on himself and there was something ridiculously attractive about the abandon with which he gave himself to Jon.

Lin whined against him and he definitely did not have enough willpower to stop the way his hips were rolling up into Jon, meeting and matching him with every movement of his body. He dragged his tongue across Jon’s upper lip, the only thing he could do while he was being caught roughly in between Jon’s teeth, and wrapped both of his arms around Jon’s neck. He spread his legs further, dragging his own knees up as much as he could in their position, allowing himself to be that much more open and available for Jon. This all felt like so much to him that even though Jon kissing and humping him was far from being the most intimate thing they’d done up to this very minute (especially after Lin spent a ridiculous amount of time licking champagne off of his skin), it felt like the most important moment they’d had thus far in the evolution of their relationship. Jon didn’t stop him from rutting into him and let Lin set a pace dragging against his inner thighs and the underside of his ass, moving in time with him and never letting his mouth get off of Lin’s face.

Lin had tried to relegate his own wants to a second plan as he was focusing on pleasing Jon but there was no denying that he was so incredibly strung out by then that he wouldn’t need much to get tipped over himself. In the whirlwind of emotions coursing through his brain, and having Jon above him, with him, _loving him_ the way he did, rocking his hips and dragging his ass against his overly sensitive cock, he was feeling his release approach, unstoppable. While Lin was aware his husband was talking, his brain could not pick up on any word, too lost as it was by the way Jon was making him feel. He clenched his hands around Jon’s shoulders hard enough to leave bruises, and bucked up a few more times as his entire body tensed up. Jon reached down and wrapped his fingers around him. He let out a string of moans and curses until his throat closed up in a stuttering spasm. He arched his back off the bed and into the warm body hovering above him, threw his head back and let Jon take advantage of his neck as he rode his orgasm out. Jon hummed against his neck, alternating between pressing open-mouthed kisses against Lin’s skin and nuzzling it. He came hard all over his own stomach, and Jon’s, too, pulsing erratically a few times. Jon let him go and flattened himself on top of Lin.

He didn’t let himself think of the mess he’d just created between their bodies or the fact that their slow rocking back and forth only served to spread it all further, and just reveled for a minute in the warmth encircling his body and his mind. He could really get behind this. If anything, he was already relishing the way their bodies fit together and if everything else they ever got around to do felt this amazing, Lin could tell he was going to lead a very satisfying life. Jon moved his legs from straddling Lin’s hips to lying in between his knees, and Lin used the opportunity to wrap his own legs around Jon, locking him in place. Jon kissed his neck lazily and Lin was not ready to let him go anywhere just yet, or ever, in the broader sense of the expression. He let his breathing slow down naturally until it matched Jon’s and he could still feel his heart beating strong in his chest, except that it was slowing down at a steady rate. He knew he would be satisfied if they could just keep whatever this was, that feeling that existed in between them, and cherished it for as long as they could.

Once his heart stopped trying to escape his ribcage, Lin let his arms trek down a bit to slide over the soft skin of Jon’s back and he tugged him up to kiss him. There was no rush, no urgency now, and he let this kiss progress slowly, unhurriedly. This felt like the first time they could actually take their time. They didn’t have anywhere to be, no one was waiting on them, they had nothing else to do but be there with each other, and truly, it felt incredible. Maybe they were actually meant for this, regardless of how crazy the last day or two had been. After a little while, Lin pulled off from the kiss and nuzzled his face in Jon’s neck. He breathed in deeply, trying to etch everything he felt in that moment into his memory so that he could remember it always. He wrapped his arms as tight as he could around Jon’s body and felt Jon sink down into him, not holding himself up in any way, snaking both of his arms behind Lin’s head and his neck, holding him close.

“I love you,” Lin said quietly. “You don’t have to say it back, it’s okay. I probably shouldn’t even say it myself, but I do and it’s…” He ran out of words. Him. _He_ had just run out words. Some of his teachers at Wesleyan would never have believed such a thing to be possible, others would have paid a large amount of money to find out how. And all it took was a 21 year-old farm boy from Pennsylvania. Who would have thought?

Jon pulled away to look him in the eyes, a soft smile playing on his lips before he dipped down and kissed him, moving his jaw against Lin’s. This was quickly becoming Jon’s favorite way of shutting Lin up. And Lin’s, too. Although having him go down on him wasn’t very far behind.

“Why shouldn’t you?” Jon asked after they pulled apart, genuinely curious.

“Because you weren’t even in my life 48 hours ago?” Lin replied as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. He was pretty sure normal people didn’t just go around marrying strangers and then falling in love with them. Like Alex had mentioned the day prior, he was pretty damn sure it was supposed to go the exact opposite way around.

“It doesn’t bother me, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Jon added before he started moving. Lin pouted at the loss, which made Jon chuckle. “I’m just going to get us something to clean up, I’ll be right back,” he reassured him with a quick peck on the lips.

Jon picked up the discarded washcloth they had used earlier and went to the bathroom, rinsing it thoroughly with warm water. As he did so, he got a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror and he grew increasingly mesmerized by the drying come on his stomach. It was forming into that kind of crackling dry patch that stuck to his skin in all the wrong ways, but Jon couldn’t say he minded it all that much. It was intimate in ways he never really expected or truly experienced with his exes. He ran one finger in a still wet spot and brought it to his mouth to suck on it. Once his digit was clean, he settled on washing his stomach before he wet, rinsed and wrung out the washcloth all over again.

He smiled when he saw Lin stretched out on the bed, his arm slung over his eyes with his chest following the rise and fall of his breathing. The contrast of his flushed, golden skin, that much darker than Jon’s ghostly white, under the splattered mess on his stomach, was hypnotizing. The fact that Lin wasn't trying to hide his body in any way this time, just lying there, completely exposed for Jon to take in, had something intense flare up and swell inside of him. Jon bit back what was sure to come out as a small sob, half of it a little cry of sort at how amazingly overwhelmed he felt in that moment and the other half a little cry of anguish at the unfairness of the situation. He wished that he could stop the world for a second, stop time altogether, just so that he could stay like this, with Lin, for the rest of eternity. He breathed in deep, then let it go, let the world restart.

“You did not just fall asleep on me, did you?” Jon teased, trying to hide his emotions behind humour as he unhurriedly made his way to the bed.

“No,” Lin mumbled in response. “Can’t say I’m not looking forward to that, though,” he added before he moved his arm away from his eyes, smiling sheepishly at Jon, a blush still high on his cheeks.

“Stay with me for five more minutes then you can sleep ‘til actual morning, deal?” Jon asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed and started cleaning Lin’s stomach.

“Deal,” Lin replied, letting Jon take care of him.

He watched as Jon cleaned the remnants of their night off of him and the longer the silence stretched between them, the more Lin knew he had to keep talking if he wanted to make good on his promise of staying awake for Jon.

“How was that for a wedding night?” Lin asked the first thing that came to his mind after a quiet minute, making Jon snort a laugh next to him.

“Can’t say I have that much experience with them,” he said cheekily, “and I can’t say I want to have that much more experience with them either, but I think it was pretty great,” Jon said before he leaned forward to kiss Lin.

Lin’s heart skipped a beat at Jon’s response. Did that mean what Lin thought it meant? His mind started racing a million miles a minute, the quiet he had been experiencing for the first time in a very long time dissipating in less than a second.

“I don’t want another wedding night either,” Lin blurted out after they pulled away from each other. Maybe if Jon said it again it would bring back the quietness in his mind?

Jon raised an eyebrow and finished cleaning up Lin’s stomach, but stayed silent. Once he was done, he stood up to go put the washcloth back in the bathroom.

“If we do this right, we won’t have to,” he finally said over his shoulder, winking at Lin. Four words was all Lin’s mind needed to quiet down and Lin smiled contentedly back at Jon. “Except maybe if we renew our vows,” he added on an after-thought. After that, it didn’t take Jon much time before he had put away the washcloth, shut down the bedside lamp and was back under the covers with Lin wrapped around him. He could get used to this overly physically needy side of Lin.

Jon was almost asleep when he felt Lin move around, burying his face deeper in Jon’s chest, practically nuzzling it. He threw a leg over Jon’s thighs, an arm across his torso, squeezed him close with all the strength he had left, and settled with his lips above Jon’s heart. Jon cracked an eye open to risk a glance at Lin, only to find him with his eyes closed, a serene smile on his lips. A soft, albeit sleepy smile stretched his lips as he started playing with Lin’s hair. His fingers were barely moving, but it still felt like the most natural thing Jon had ever had to do, only coming second to breathing.

“Stay with me forever?” Lin mumbled sleepily and Jon’s hand froze.

Another glance led him to believe that Lin wasn’t even aware he had spoken, not if Jon was to guess by Lin’s slow and steady breathing. Jon pressed a tender kiss to Lin’s forehead, giving him a light squeeze before resting his hand on top of Lin’s neck.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, lovebird,” he replied quietly.

It didn’t take much longer for Jon to follow Lin into Morpheus’ kingdom, holding on to each other as though their lives depended on it. Both would have told you it did.

Next thing they knew, they were being waken up by loud _BANGS!_ from an unknown location. Lin’s body immediately went into saving-his-ass mode and he rolled around, trying to get away from the sound, before he even completely processed what was going on or where he was. Which meant that, having slept entwined in Jon’s embrace and not glued to the wall by his bed like he usually did, he was much closer to the edge of the bed than usual. Rolling off sent him tumbling down onto the hotel carpet, completely tangled in the blankets and effectively dragging them off of Jon in his wake, and he groaned loudly. The banging resumed and he realized at once that it was coming from the door. Nobody was getting shot the way he’d initially thought. Take a guy out of New York, but you couldn't take New York out of the guy. As he scrambled up, he heard the displeased noise that Jon made as he rolled on his stomach and covered his head with Lin’s pillow.

He spotted the towel he'd used to protect the bedspreads from the champagne the night before and swiftly wrapped it around his waist.

“Hold on a sec!” He screamed towards the entrance hallway, a final thump on the wood following his words.

He shot a quick glance at Jon’s exhausted body and tried his best not to get overwhelmed again at the fact that all of _this_ , whatever it was, wasn't a dream. He clumsily grabbed the corner of a sheet and draped it across Jon’s butt as he strutted to the door. He took a deep breath to wake his brain up some and pushed the handle down, cursing whoever was on the other side of that door. He'd much rather still be sleeping in his husband’s arms, thank you very much.

“H–,” he tried to start.

“You motherfucker,” Alex greeted him, his face red with physical effort and perhaps some anger.

Lin spotted the suitcases behind him and he felt bad his friend had to wheel them both in and out of two Vegas hotels and a cab. Alex pushed past him, harshly shoving Lin’s backpack into his chest, and into the room without any more form of ceremony, then turned back around, facing the door, the rest of the room behind him.

“I, what, hi? What are you doing here?” Lin asked, confused as ever.

“Were you two seriously still sleeping?” Alex replied, disbelief apparent in his voice.

It occurred to Lin that this was their last day in Vegas and although their flight wasn't until mid afternoon, there was the whole matter of checking out before 11 and then they should probably try to head to the airport if only for the sake of having a place to hang out with all their luggage. They couldn't be too early anyways. He realized that he didn't know what time Jon’s flight was and felt a pang of panic at the thought that maybe he'd missed it.

“...yeah. Oh my god, what time is it, Lac?” Lin asked, anxious.

“10:30. It's fucking half past ten in the morning and you're about as ready to leave as you were ready to get married.” Alex looked at him with daggers in his eyes. “That means not at all, in case you were wondering.”

“How did you even know where I...” and Lin looked back and forth above his shoulder to the door, then back around to Alex, trying to have his brain associate Lac being in his room with Lac not possibly knowing where Jon’s room even _was_ , when he was interrupted by Alex’s sweet tones.

“Dude. You really _are_ useless before coffee.” When Lin looked back at him, he was pinching the bridge of his nose. “Do you not remember saying '805' about a million times in the cab ride back home yesterday? Doesn't take a genius to find a hotel room, they all work the same way.”

Lin deserved that jab, there was no question. Alex looked him up and down and while Lin felt exposed, he also felt _judged_. Hard. By his best friend. His feelings were a little hurt, if he was being honest. He looked down at his feet, then back at Alex. His eye caught movement behind him and he saw that Jon had silently sat up in their bed, careful to keep the sheet pooled in his lap.

“Although, we both know this genius,” Lac vaguely waved at him, “is a fucking moron who needs a map of his own apartment to find his kitchen before he gets an ounce of caffeine in him. How you even get to the coffee machine in the morning without any help is beyond me.”

“Good thing I’ll be there to take care of that from now on then, isn’t it Lacamoire?” Jon’s voice came from the bed, a sharp edge to it despite the evident remnants of sleep. He ran a hand through his hair and down his face and Lin couldn't help smiling at how adorable Jon was.

“Oh look! Pretty boy is awake! Good morning, beautiful,” Lac added, turning around, sarcasm dripping out of his own voice.

“Listen, Lac, you can't come in barging and wake me up and expect me to remember every detail of my life all the while insulting me every two words,” Lin offered as a poor excuse.

“Just, throw some clothes on, will you? Your suitcase is out there ‘cause apparently I'm your goddamn servant now. It's a good fucking thing we don’t live in the suburbs. Next thing I know you would've hired me as your pool boy.”

“I don't have a pool,” Lin shot off immediately, missing the point entirely.

“I'm your fucking butler. I'm literally your Alfred. I have to pick up after Master Miranda while Master Miranda runs around like a kid with no pants on. Not that his sidekick is wearing any either,” Alex countered, the sarcasm still thick, especially around the _Master Miranda_ s.

Lin blushed. Alex had this way of actually making him feel like a child and while Lin usually welcomed it because it meant someone was watching over him and made sure he did every little vital thing like eating and sleeping, he couldn't help but resent Lac for depicting him in such an unflattering fashion to his husband, even though he couldn't oppose using the pant thing as an argument when him and Jon both were naked, save for the towel and the sheet unconvincingly attempting to cover that fact.

“Miranda, don't push your luck. I am _this_ close to strangling you right now. Just shut up, dress up and…” he shot a glance at Jon’s basically naked form, back to Lin’s towel. “Tell your boy toy to do the same. You gotta check outta here. I'll see you in the lobby.”

“I have ears, you know!” Jon spat at him, his blood boiling inside his veins. Alex stopped on his way out to slowly turn around, glaring at Jon. “Honestly, no need to treat me like I’m not 5 feet away from you. I get it, yeah, you’re upset, but you’re crossing the line here and I’m not about to let you think that treating Lin like shit, _or_ me for that matter, is an okay thing to do.”

Lin was positively surprised at the amount of words that came out of Jon’s mouth, considering that he’d been asleep mere minutes prior, so he tried to focus on that rather than the evident war raging between the two most important people in his life. He tried to see the positive side: at least one of them _was_ a morning person. Maybe he’d get to have his coffee without threatening to blow up his entire apartment building from now on. In his defence, how was he supposed to know that the plug of his trusty old coffee maker was going to go to war against the outlet above the kitchen counter of his apartment? Ok, sure he'd bought Coffeerico in the late ‘90s but that was why the flame suddenly erupting from the outlet had been such a surprise. The faint scorch mark that still adorned Lin's wall just above his kitchen counter was proof that no one really won that day. Except maybe for Lin’s landlord who was glad to say he was keeping his security deposit now.

“You have thirty minutes. Use that time wisely,” Lac advised and with that, he turned back around on his heels and left Lin gaping in the middle of his doorway, still trying to process everything, the door slamming shut behind him.

Then Lin remembered that he really had to shower, because he hadn’t done that since the morning prior and they’d been walking around all day. And then came home and had sex twice, not that anyone was keeping count. He heaved a long and deep sigh and moved to the hallway to retrieve his suitcase. He opened the door just in time to see Lac stalk into the elevator, his own suitcase in tow.

Shocked into action by his best friend's reaction, Lin scrambled through the clothing disparately discarded on the floor once he was back into the room and found his phone in the pockets of his jeans – drained. The damn thing was _never_ drained but, of course, because he actually needed it now, it _had_ to be. He looked to the phone on the hotel desk and figured (or rather hoped) he wouldn’t charge Jon’s credit card extra by calling a New York phone number from Vegas. He’d find a way to make it up to Jon if it did. Good thing he actually knew Lac’s phone number by heart. He let his fingers type in the familiar digits and felt Jon’s warm arms wrap tightly around his middle at the second ring, his thumbs hooking in the towel. Alex picked up on the third.

“Lacamoire.” His voice was all business, the tone that Lin knew he used when he didn’t know who was calling. He breathed.

“Hey, um. Just wanted to give you a heads up, I gotta shower, but we’ll be quick, we’ll be down before 11, alright? Just, don’t freak out. We’ll be there.”

As he uttered the words, he felt Jon relax into his body, dropping his head against Lin’s shoulder, just resting his face in the crook of his neck. It felt so natural and easy that Lin could only lean in the touch. He breathed easier with every passing second, both because of Jon’s warm breath on his skin and because Lac hadn't hung up on him yet. Which led Lin to believe he wasn't that mad after all.

“Alright. I’ll be down here. I’ll try and get us a cab for 11. Please, for once in your life, actually be on time, yeah?” The anger was gone from his voice and Lin could tell he was making an effort. He was perhaps intense to be around but he wasn’t unreasonable.

“Will do,” Lin promised before he hung up and leaned back into Jon’s warm body.

Jon nuzzled the crook of Lin’s neck, pressing soft kisses against his skin every now and then, and softly running his hands up and down Lin’s chest and across his soft stomach.

“I was thinking,” Jon whispered, sending shivers down Lin’s spine, “my husband got me all sticky from licking champagne off of my skin last night. The least he could do would be to help me wash off, don’t you think? Especially since he seemed intent on licking it off my back, too. Can’t say I can reach that far.”

Lin could practically feel his knees turn into jelly the more Jon spoke. It was a cheesy line, but fuck, it wasn’t fair that Jon was so good at pushing on all of Lin's buttons. He was the one that was supposed to have a way with words, not his husband. _He_ was supposed to be the next Shakespeare, or some equally eloquent bullshit, not the opposite. And yet, he always ended up feeling like a goldfish the second his husband opened his mouth. He turned around in Jon’s embrace, wrapped both his arms around his neck, pushed himself up on his toes and kissed him slowly. The towel threatened to fall off, really only held up by the fact that they were pressed tight against each other. If he had to rationalize kissing him, he'd say it was to shut him up, but really he knew that he just couldn't handle being this close to him without his lips being in contact with Jon’s skin somehow.

“I think your husband could do that, yeah. Only sounds fair,” Lin replied, a soft smile playing on his lips. Although if it was at the prospect of showering with Jon or just because they were standing so close and entangled with each other was up to anyone’s guess. “Besides, Lac wants us downstairs in thirty minutes. One shower should take less time than two, right?”

Jon almost wanted to prove Lin wrong, bonus points if it pissed Lacamoire off because they were late. But then again, he wasn’t sure the late fees he was bound to have to pay were worth it. Making up his mind, Jon pulled away, never letting go of Lin’s hands, and led him toward the bathroom. They’d have plenty of occasions in the future to make each other late to events. Or meetings with Lacamoire. Or dinners with Lacamoire. Anything involving Lacamoire, really.

“I’m sorry about him,” Lin said while Jon had his back to him to turn the shower on. He could see clear as day the way Jon’s shoulders tensed up at Lac’s mention. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him,” he added quickly. “I’ve never seen him act this way before. I don’t… I don’t get it,” he admitted, shaking his head as he looked down.

He heard Jon take a deep breath before Lin felt one of his hands taking his own while the other nestled itself against his jaw, gently tilting his head up. Jon leaned forward and kissed him slowly, almost innocently. As he did so, he backed them up towards the tub, keeping their checkout deadline in mind. When they pulled apart, Jon kept his hold on Lin’s hand to help him in, following right after.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jon said, pressing a kiss to Lin’s temple. “I’ll try to get him to come get coffee with me once we’re back in New York. He apparently has some bones to pick with me. I’ll let him dish it out.” He gently nudged Lin under the water spray. “Want me to wash your hair?” Jon asked, smiling softly. Lin could only nod and Jon grinned. “Get your hair wet for me please?”

Lin did as he was told while Jon reached past him to get the bottle of shampoo. He somehow noticed that while it was a travel size bottle, it definitely wasn’t a hotel-issued shampoo. Lin felt his heart swell up again at how adorable his husband was. Although, if he had as luscious locks as Jon did, he’d probably be traveling with his own shampoo too.

“Do I get to wash yours too?” Lin asked, hopeful.

Jon huffed out a laugh. “Only if you can reach that far,” he shot back with a grin and the pure offense on Lin’s face cracked him up. With a small puddle of shampoo in the palm of his hand, Jon leaned forward and pecked Lin’s lips as an apology both for his teasing and for laughing at him. He gestured for Lin to turn around and, once he had, he got right into washing his hair, massaging his skull as he did so. Lin couldn’t help the groan that escaped his lips. He felt himself melting under the steady stream and his knees were getting closer to giving way with each stroke from Jon’s fingers against his scalp.

“Rinse up,” Jon said quietly after a moment and Lin didn’t even have it in himself to do anything else but obey.

It suddenly came to his mind that Jon was still mostly dry and that didn’t seem fair at all. He turned around and popped his eyes open.

“Get under here,” he said excitedly, grabbing hold of Jon’s slippery hand and pulling him in for a kiss, both of them getting serviced by the shower head.

Lin switched them around and proceeded to grab the shampoo bottle from the shelf.

“Wait,” Jon said, laughing against his lips. “I didn’t even condition your hair!”

“No time, we gotta go” Lin shot back. “Plus I haven't really got that much hair to condition anyway.”

Jon chuckled softly at that and ducked his head out of the trajectory of the water to let Lin lather him up.

“See, I can reach your head just fine. I'm not _that_ small. I like to think I’m a pretty average height, no?”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure. I just like teasing you. In every way I can think of. Also, obviously, it's only expected for you to think you’re tall if the only other person in your life is that gnome of a composer you call your friend. I think I’ve easily got a foot and a half on him.” Jon pondered that for a minute. “Lin, oh my god, do you think that's why he’s so threatened by me all the time? He’s got a _superiority complex_?”

Lin stared at the soapy top of Jon’s head, gaping for a minute before he started laughing.

“Oh my god. I think you're right. Or wait, wouldn't it be an inferiority complex, because of how short he actually is?” Lin wondered out loud.

“Uh… I don't know? I thought it'd be superiority because he obviously can't handle being inferior?”

“Either way. I think you’ve figured out why he’s been such a dick lately. Not only did you completely bump him in my list of priorities, without having had to prove yourself as far as he's concerned, you're also like 4 heads taller than him. Wow.”

Lin finished up washing Jon’s hair before he gave him the go ahead to rinse out the shampoo, smiling softly as he watched his husband. When Jon lifted his head back up, Lin’s attention zeroed in on a water droplet that fell to his shoulder and started running down Jon’s chest. Without thinking, Lin stepped forward and pressed his lips to Jon’s pectoral, licking it in. Automatically, Jon’s hand went to the back of Lin’s head, cradling it gently.

“Come on now, lovebird. We don’t have time for that,” Jon playfully retorted, reaching out to get the bottle of conditioner. (He didn't care what Lin said, he was taking a minute to condition properly.)

Lin stilled before he pulled away to look up into Jon’s eyes.

“What did you just call me?” Lin croaked, slightly shocked.

“Hm… Lovebird?” Jon tried, a faint blush creeping up on his cheeks, his hands slowing their movements in his hair.

Lin stared at him for half a second before he cupped Jon’s face and pulled him into a kiss.

“You should not be allowed to drop names like that on me when we have people to meet and places to be,” Lin said categorically against Jon’s skin. “We gotta go, god dammit, this is not fair.”

With that, he resolutely pulled away from Jon so he could get ahead with the whole showering thing he had to do. If he was avoiding looking at Jon, it was _only_ because he knew he couldn’t keep his hands to himself if he didn’t. Washing Jon’s back took long enough as it was already. (He had so many of those god _damned_ freckles. He wanted to count them all.)

Drying off was quickly taken care of and Lin felt a certain rush going through his blood, not completely unlike how it felt to be told there was thirty or five minutes left before places in college. He vaguely wondered if Jon was feeling the same thing as they rushed through getting ready. Lin just had to tease Jon for having to blow dry his hair, to which Jon very maturely replied by sticking his tongue out at him. They made it downstairs just in the nick of time, with two minutes to spare if Lin wanted to be petty. (He didn’t. But Jon did.)

“We should have made this a bet,” Lin was complaining when Jon met up with him and Lacamoire after having paid for his room. “For once in my life I would have actually won a time related bet. Dammit.”

Jon rubbed Lin’s back comfortingly, Lin’s body leaning into the touch without his brain even having to give the command. It didn’t escape anyone’s notice that Jon seemed to stand at his full height with his shoulders squared. He wasn’t actually giving off hostile vibes but there was an unspoken agreement hanging in the air that said that Jon was ready to take it up with Lac right then and there if need be.

“Have you two got everything?” The anger and arrogance were gone from Alex’s voice when he spoke. “I rang a cab a few minutes ago so it should be here soon. I don’t think it needs mentioning, but we’re obviously not coming back here.”

There it was, the subtle hint of caretaking that shone through all of Alex’s words. Maybe Jon would leave him to be the dad this time. He was happy to be grouped as an item with Lin, and if that meant considering Lac to be the adult between the three of them, that was okay with him.

“Yeah, we circled the room a few times. We shouldn’t have left anything behind, we’re good. Let’s go.”

The three of them made their way outside, in the warm weather of Las Vegas just before the afternoon sun bore down on the city. The characteristically still morning air surrounded them, with its way of saying that the day was still young, not in motion, not yet. They could breathe.

They packed their suitcases in the trunk as best they could and headed on over. Lac sat by the driver and let Lin and Jon cuddle it up at the back of the car. The ride was spent in relative silence until Lin suddenly picked his head up from its spot on Jon’s shoulder and twisted his spine around to look at him.

“Wait, when’s your flight? We never actually talked about this?” He inquired.

“Oh, not until, like 7 or 8? I don’t know why I booked it so late. I’m not sure what I would have actually done with my suitcase all day,” Jon replied with an easy going, brushing-it-off tone.

“Oh. Okay.” Lin leaned back down, his back against Jon’s body. Both Jon and Alex could hear the way the excitement left his voice and made space for a hint of sadness.

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. I’m a big guy, I can handle it,” Jon said in a reassuring tone, pressing a kiss to his head.

“Oh, I know that. It’s just.. I don’t want to leave without you. It’s not you I’m worried about, I just don’t wanna…” he trailed off.

Jon made eye contact with Lac in the rearview mirror, both of their eyebrows frowning because neither of them actually wanted to see Lin being sad. Alex made his voice heard for the first time thus far in the cab.

“Maybe… just a thought, and I know I’ve been giving you two a lot of shit because Lin has a way of stressing the hell out of me, but maybe Jon and I can switch flights? Ours is around 2.” A beat. “I don’t even know if that’s something they can do, but hey, I’ve spent the last few days pretty much on my own, what’s an extra couple hours?”

“Alex, you don’t have to do that,” Jon replied. It was nice, but really, Jon hadn’t done anything to deserve that kind of attention from him.

“I kind of do, though,” Lac replied, the underlying _especially considering how I’ve been treating you_ remaining unsaid.

“Lac, you sure?” Lin chimed in, hopeful but reserved.

He felt bad for his friend, he did, but at the same time, there was the looming cloud of Jon’s health above their heads and Lin wanted to spend as much time with him as he could. For all they knew, Jon was going to be alright, they didn’t know much about the diagnosis or the severity of it, but he wasn’t about to risk anything.

“Listen, it’s just an idea, I don’t even know if they can do that. But if so, yeah, I am.”

Alex was an artist, too - he knew how to read people and situations in less time than it would take to explain it. And he knew Lin. He could tell that there was much more to this incredibly new relationship than they let on, and he knew they’d tell him in due time, whatever it was that bonded them so closely to one another. And besides… Weren’t artists supposed to live and breathe beauty, freedom, truth and love? He was pretty sure that was how the French said it, but he shouldn’t be quoted on that.

“Thank you. I mean it, I appreciate the offer. And I know Lin does too,” Jon concluded, grateful.

The rest of the ride went by in the same silence with which it started, only more comfortable. They got to the airport after an uneventful ride, got through security without a hitch, and found the closest customer service kiosk to Lin and Alex’s gate. They did see that although they had different flights, both were booked through the same airline, which greatly increased their chances at being able to switch. The rest probably mostly depended on the quality of Lin’s puppy eyes. Which didn’t necessarily feel like the most sincere, so out of a mutual understanding, Alex and Jon decided to leave him on baggage watch duty. Jon’s puppy eyes were much, much better than Lin’s.

“So, are we going to talk about this?” Jon asked while the airport employee typed away on her computer to make the necessary changes.

“Talk about what?” Lac replied, sounding defensive despite the progress that seemed to have been made between the two of them in the cab. Jon vaguely realized that it seemed to be a constant between the two of them, despite the short amount of time for which they'd known each other. They pushed and pulled at each other’s limits, sometimes with positive results, but at times, it sounded like they were just trying to pick a fight with each other.

“Come on Lacamoire, don’t peg me for an idiot. I may be younger than you guys, but that doesn’t make me stupid,” Jon replied, arching an eyebrow.

Alex let out a long sigh, casting a glance in Lin’s direction. He was still there, apparently having chosen to sit on the luggage and hold the rest in his lap, or otherwise he was bound to forget about some of it and get it stolen while he was waiting for the verdict. Lin let his eyes wander around and looked at the hustle and bustle of the people around him. He wasn’t necessarily a fan of flying, but airports were the one place on earth where he didn’t feel like he was out of sync with everyone around him, because for once everyone was just as restless as he naturally was. He zoned out for a few minutes and when he came back to his senses, he saw Jon, standing tall and strong but not threatening, talking with Lac and it finally seemed like a natural interaction. Neither trying to prove anything, not trying to snatch Lin from each other, just there, talking. While he could tell they weren’t joking around, their facial expressions were much more opened and relaxed than they had been in almost every single one of their interactions. It brought a massive grin onto Lin’s own.

“So, what is it, really?” Jon prompted again, growing more insistent.

“You really want to know what I have against you?” Alex asked as he turned his head back to look at Jon who nodded in response. Lac pursed his lips and nodded as well, as though he was trying to convince himself that this wasn’t a terrible idea. “Ok, ok. I’ve known Lin for ten years. He’s been an acquaintance, a friend, then my best friend for the past… Seven of those ten years? I’ve known him since he was still in college. I’ve seen him start writing _In The Heights_ from scratch, literally.” He huffed a humorless laugh. “That musical? It’s his baby. He’s been working on it for the past _ten_ years, Jon – that's nearly half your life, and all of his adult life. You’re a Broadway actor. You’re originating the _male lead_ of a play at 21. You know the giddiness, you know how it feels. Imagine Lin. Lin has been working to get _In The Heights_ on Broadway, or in this case Off-Broadway, for the past half decade. He’s getting his dream. How do you think he feels?” Alex paused, trying to find the right words to put on what was going through his mind. “I’ve seen Lin do everything. I’ve spent the past _decade_ of my life deciphering Lin’s sheet music− if you can even call them that. I’ve spent a decade composing music for him, for his musical.”

“Lin doesn’t compose?” Jon asked, curiously. He recalled Lin telling him he wrote musicals for a living, so this didn't quite make sense.

“Oh he does,” confirmed Lac. “Except, it’s not what he does best. He has the beats and the melodies in his brilliant mind, but they get lost somewhere between his brain and the pen he’s holding. It’s been my job for the past ten years to try to listen to his _mind_ and put it on paper for others to play. I’ve basically been working on a Lin–Normal People/Normal People–Lin dictionary. Not a simple task, let me tell you that. I’ve been inside that brain more times than I can count, and trust me, I’m more than glad to hand it all over to you, I just don’t know if you can handle it. I don’t mean this in a negative way – I don’t know that many people outside of myself, Tommy Kail, Andy Blankenbuehler and Jeffrey Sellers who can handle him, and the reason we do is because we're as involved in his art as he is, himself. Lin? He’s the greatest person to be around when everything’s going his way. But when he hits a wall? He hits it hard and it’s not pretty nor an easy thing to handle. I’m not going to lie, I’m worried for the both of you when that happens. And I guess this is where you come into play. You don’t even know how mind-boggling this whole thing is for me. We’ve been working on that musical for ten years with the ultimate goal of getting it on Broadway. We’ve done so much, we’ve worked so hard for that to happen. Sleepless nights, coffee overdose, you name it, we did it.”

Alex ran a hand through his hair, almost as though he could still feel the stress of those insane moments looming over him. A stressed and over-worked Lin-Manuel would make anyone around him feel just as stressed and on edge as he was himself. If it was true that his positivity was contagious, the same also went for his distress.

“And then, one morning, we get a call. Not just any call. _The_ call. The one that says that _In The Heights_ will be Off-Broadway.” A fond smile drew itself on Alex’s lips. “You should have seen Lin’s face. Brighter than the Strip. Brighter than the Eiffel Tower. Brighter than fucking Times Square on New Year’s Eve. Brighter than the sun itself. I told him we should celebrate, that we had to because this is the biggest thing of our lives. We find a deal. Three nights, four days in Vegas. Sounds good to the both of us. Lin’s never been, not that I ever did either, but it’s _Vegas_. It’s party city, so why not? We booked it. Laptops are absolutely forbidden, anything work related is, really. We’re here to relax and celebrate, nothing else. First day, first night, everything goes smoothly. We gamble, we bet, we win, we lose, we drink, we party. It’s… It’s an amazing night, we both have a great time. Then, Night #2 comes around.” Lac huffed another laugh, shaking his head lightly this time. “I figured it was going to be a repeat of Night #1 and it was all gonna be fine… Until the second I lose sight of Lin. Maybe I underestimated his alcohol consumption that night. Maybe I lost track of his because of my own. Maybe I should have gotten him a fucking monkey backpack so I could hold onto its tail like a leash and make sure he doesn’t run away from me. But I didn’t, so he did. I spent that whole night tossing, turning and pacing until sunrise, my mind coming up with the worst possible and imaginable case scenarios. I was thinking human trafficking, I was thinking gangsters, I was thinking murder, I was thinking… Hell, you name it, I probably thought of it.”

Jon had the decency to look embarrassed, sheepish, a light blush creeping up his cheeks. He looked down.

“When morning finally comes, he calls me. He’s freaking out, but he’s alive. He’s _married_ , but he’s _alive_ and that’s all that mattered to me. He’s married. To you. Great looking guy, he tells me he thinks that you look like you materialized straight out of a magazine. Broadway actor, out of everyone in this city, he might just have hit jackpot. But still. A _stranger_. And then…”

Alex let out a humorless laugh.

“Then he goes around and falls in love with you, the fucker. That’s the way he does it, that’s always how everything is with Lin by the way – all at once. And all of a sudden, the most important decade of _our_ lives means _nothing_ anymore, they’re completely eclipsed out of his mind. The only thing he’s focusing on is you. He’s only focusing on the past twelve _hours_ of his life rather than the past ten years. I felt pushed aside, honestly, I do. So my ten years have nothing on your twelve hours? And really, I’m not saying that out of jealousy or pettiness, or anything. I haven’t been harboring a crush on Lin that I’ve been keeping a secret for the past ten years. He’s got a couple of parts that I’m not into, hell, I’m not even sure he _knew_ he was into those himself. And yet, it flies right above him. He falls in love with you, he wants to keep you around, wants to stay married and…” Alex sighed.

Jon took a deep breath as every new revelation from Lac felt like a new ton of bricks falling on him.

“I mean, sure, I can get where he comes from, you’re cute, you seem nice enough, you’re obviously talented. Why not give it a shot? It’s not the worst thing that could have happened. I just…” Lac’s shoulders slumped and he ran a hand through his hair. “This whole Vegas thing? This was supposed to be about _us_ and he barely spent half of it in my company. Of course I’m hurt. We were supposed to party, we were supposed to gamble and we were supposed to drink again, but no. We were supposed to reminisce about everything we’ve done to get ourselves to where we are now, to being Off-Broadway. Instead, he comes back to the hotel with me, barely speaks to me except to keep saying “805” again and again and again and again and again. And then he’s gone. Again. To whom? You,” Alex gestured at Jon as he said that. “It hurt. Still does, if I’m being honest with you. It’s painful, because I feel like… I know I’m not losing my best friend, it’s Lin, he needs me too much. Even if it’s just to bring him coffee during workshops or remind him to get food or some sleep. But even that isn't my job anymore, is it? But still, it feels as though…” Lac let his words hang in the air, desperately searching for the next ones.

“It feels as though your friendship doesn’t mean anything anymore. Or at least means less, now,” Jon supplied, knowing the feeling all too well.

“Exactly. And that’s not…” He shook his head, backtracking. “I understand that marriage is a sacred bond and that grooms should be close to each other, support each other and love each other, but you’re still a stranger. You’re supposed to marry someone you know like the back of your own hand, someone you love deeply and unconditionally.”

“I think… I think I get it. If my best friend did the same thing to me, I’d be mad too. I’d probably be taking it out on the stranger too. It’s easier to be mad at someone you just met than at your best friend, isn’t it?”

Lac nodded. He wasn't sure that he deserved Jon’s understanding but he appreciated it. He opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by the customer service employee finally coming back.

“Sirs? I’ve got your tickets, everything is in order, have a safe trip,” she said handing them their tickets. They thanked her and turned around to walk back to Lin.

“Piece of advice,” Lac added almost as an afterthought. “Never leave Lin without surveillance for too long. You never know in what kind of trouble he’ll get himself into.”

“He’s not five, you know,” Jon countered.

“That’s highly debatable,” Alex concluded.

By the time they had figured it all out and had walked up to him again, Lin had once more lost himself to his flyaway thoughts, until he noticed somebody suddenly crowding up his space. He looked up to see Jon extending his hand towards him to pull him up. He had the softest of smiles lingering on his lips, and a million stars shining in his eyes. Lin could get used to this, assuming he wasn’t already.

“We’re going home together, lovebird.” The smile cracked into a wide grin and Lin grabbed his hand to let Jon pull him up.

Jon tugged him closer and engulfed him in a bear hug for just a second longer than strictly necessary, then took a step back.

“Let’s go sit by the gate, shall we? Alex’s is gonna be just a few gates down so he can relocate when we board,” Jon offered.

“Sounds good, let’s go,” Alex confirmed, and they each grabbed their respective luggage.

They settled in with just about an hour ahead of themselves, when Jon realized that in the morning rush, he and Lin hadn't had time to get breakfast yet. After having listened to Alex’s take on the whole situation, and now knowing how he felt, he genuinely thought that the two of them had to talk it out between each other. Besides, he could probably use however long it was going to take him to find food and coffee to put his own thoughts into order. It wasn’t exactly like he had had that much time on his own to think in the past 24 hours, except for the shower he took the morning before. Then again, he spent most of his time trying to build up his courage to kiss Lin, if only once. (Little could he imagine being in the position he was in a day later.)

“Hey, I think I'm gonna go find some coffee and breakfast for Lin and myself. Alex, let me know if you need anything. I think you two need some time alone, so I’ll be back in a bit.”

Lin looked at him with confusion etched all across his face.

“Do we?” He asked, turning to Alex.

Alex took a deep breath as he looked to the airport carpet. The patterns were suddenly much more interesting than the prospect of confronting his closest friend. He looked up to the ceiling and leaned forward, elbows on his knees, trying to find the words he needed to say. He couldn’t pinpoint for the life of him why it had been easier to tell all of this to Jon than it was to tell Lin. He should be able to open up to him much more easily, after all they'd been through. This was far from being their first rodeo. Or heart-to-heart talk for that matter.

“I…” Alex sighed, shaking his head. “You fucking ditched me,” Lac settled on. Better to dive right into it, rip it off like a Band-Aid. “We were supposed to celebrate finally achieving what we’ve spent ten years working on _together_ and you ditched me. I spent half the celebration getaway alone, dude. I’m not gonna pretend like it doesn't hurt a bit. But at the same time, I know you, and I’m the best placed to know how you just go full throttle when your interest gets piqued. I've seen it happen for this show, I’ve seen it happen when you discover new artists, hell, I’ve seen it happen when you find a new type of food you’d never tried before, I guess I shouldn't really be surprised, but it hurts. And I’m worried.”

“Alex, I…” Lin tried, not entirely sure where he was trying to go.

“Where is _In the Heights_ on your list of priorities?” He blurted out. Not exactly as smooth as he'd hoped.

“Wait, what? Alex, you know how much this means to me. I’m not letting this go. Are you serious?”

Lin was honestly taken aback by Alex’s words. If anyone on this planet knew how much he cared about the show, his characters, his stories, it was Lac, no doubt about that. But at the same time, hadn’t he promised just less than twelve hours ago that he’d drop it all if he had to in order to take care of Jon? He rationalized that he wouldn’t completely abandon the project, that he’d simply be putting it on the back burner until Jon got better. And he would get better. The other alternative just wasn’t something he was willing to think about.

“I mean, part of me knows how much you care, obviously. This is your baby. I've even come to call it _our_ baby, in my head at least. But now you've got something else that deserves just as much attention and I guess I’m not used to sharing you. I'm scared of what this means because we're about to be so much busier than we've been since your time at Wesleyan, and I don't know how you’re thinking of balancing it all. I don't think this is the kind of situation you can just wing, you're gonna need to think about this, figure it out. We both know that most of your relationships didn't last because you generally can’t handle not giving something 150% of your attention, and you've always chosen music and writing over girls. Although, I guess there might have been another reason for that,” Alex chuckled lightly, trying to dissipate the tension he'd created, only if just a bit. “Then again, the fact that he’s a Broadway actor himself might work in your favor. At least he knows the drill and the amount of work Broadway requires.”

Lin sat in silent shock for a moment, trying to put his thoughts back together and address every point that Lac had just made.

“First of all, low blow. Second, you really don’t think I can do this?” Lin asked and Lac hated that he could hear how crushed he was by his best friend’s lack of faith in him.

“It's not that I don't think you can do it, not really. It's mostly, I’m not sure… how you plan on balancing it and I don't want either Jon _nor_ your career to suffer if either ends up on the back burner. I care too much about you, and I know you well enough to know that either one of these things not working out would absolutely crush you.”

“Well, as it is, the career part is working out just fine right now, so that won’t be crushing me any time soon,” Lin replied petulantly. He was starting to feel sick. He was going to be sick because ultimately, Lac was right. He would be crushed if something happened to Jon and something _was_ already happening to his precious pretty boy and… Oh God. He couldn’t do this. He wouldn't be able to. His eyes widened. He started taking shallow breaths, his hands gripping the bag that was still on his lap so hard that his knuckles were turning white.

“What’s wrong? Lin! What’s going on?” Alex asked, concern etched on his face and thick in his voice. He knew the first signs of one of Lin’s panic attacks, but to hell if he understood what had brought one on right this second.

“I’m losing him,” Lin blurted out, “Oh God. I’m already losing him.”

“Lin? Look at me. You’re not losing anyone. Lin. I'm here, and so is Jon. We're here.”

“No, Alex, you don't understand, I can't tell you, but I’m already losing him,” Lin said with panic in his voice and tears welling up in his eyes.

He had always been so expressive, Lin had always worn his heart on his sleeve for as long as Alex had known him, and he'd known him for long enough that he could usually read his mood within a seconds of it changing (and it always changed so abruptly), but this was something else entirely. Alex took his hands after gently pulling the bag off of Lin’s lap and locked eyes with him.

“Lin. Breathe with me, please. Focus on just that, just breathing, and count. Slow your breath down. You can do this. In for two seconds,” a pause, “out for two seconds.” They exhaled in time but the worry evident in every cell of Lin’s body wasn't going anywhere, wasn't being exhaled with his breaths. “Slow it down. You can do this. I'm here.”

Alex squeezed his hands lightly as they breathed together while he counted the beats out loud to help Lin focused. After a few minutes that felt like a lifetime, with little to no amelioration, Lac started to grow more and more concerned. This usually worked. Something had to be really, really wrong for Lin to react this negatively and Alex kicked himself for being so hard on him, doubting his ability to handle everything.

“Lin, I’m sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I didn't mean to stress you out with my own shit, it wasn't fair. Please talk to me.”

“I can’t… I can’t… I can’t say. I can’t breathe. Oh God,” Lin gasped, and he folded upon himself.

Neither one of them noticed Jon approaching, but to say the opposite would be lying. He saw right away that something was wrong and it took every single bit of his self control for him not to start running towards them. He all but threw himself at Lin’s feet, handing over the tray of coffees and smoothies and the bag of bagels to Alex unceremoniously. Lac took the items and stood up to give them some space, blinking rapidly in surprise at how readily Jon took over, like there was no question at the fact that he was to be Lin’s support system. Maybe this wasn't bad after all. Jon seemed like the kind of guy with a head on his shoulders. Enough of a head to not be scared by Lin in the worst state of panic in which Alex had seen him in years. Jon rearranged himself down on the edge of the seat he’d just occupied, facing Lin as much as he could when using the seat right next to his.

“Lin, lovebird? Talk to me. What’s going on?” Jon asked, sounding far more composed than any 21-year old should when facing their beloved (albeit brand new) husband in such a state.

“I can't lose you, Jon, I can't _lose you_ ,” Lin said, and the tears finally spilled when he looked up into Jon’s ever so bright eyes.

“Hey there, hey. Who said you were losing me? I'm not going anywhere. Wanna backtrack for me? Why do you think I’m going to leave you?” Jon enquired, taking Lin’s hands in his, his thumbs automatically stroking Lin’s skin.

“I didn’t say you were leaving,” Lin mumbled to the best of his ability. “I said I was _losing_ you,” he gasped out.

Jon looked puzzled for a minute, trying to understand where the difference lay. If he’d learned anything in the past 24 hours, it was that Lin-Manuel Miranda never chose his words lightly. So if he was insisting on the fact that he was losing Jon, rather than Jon _leaving_...

“Oh,” Jon breathed as realization suddenly hit him. “Lin, lovebird, oh my god,” he started but words evaded him, his own eyes welling up with tears that he did everything he could to swallow back.

Instead, Jon pulled Lin to him as best he could until neither of them were quite on their respective seat and Jon engulfed him in a tight hug, cradling the back of his head with one hand while the other rubbed his back and Lin clung to him with all the strength he could muster. To say that Alex felt like he was intruding on a private moment would have been the understatement of the century. He took a few steps back and sat slightly withdrawn from the both of them, but not too far that he wouldn’t notice when things got better or worse.

“Hey. Lin, look at me. We’re gonna get through this together. We can do this. I wasn’t so sure when I was alone, and that’s part of why I came here, because I didn’t really see the point in fighting.”

“No, no, no, no. You fight, you hear me? You can’t leave me,” Lin interrupted, panic rising in his voice again.

“But you’re here now,” Jon continued, giving Lin a quick squeeze to indicate he’d heard him, “and if that’s not reason enough for me to fight this with every ounce of will in my body, then my name isn’t Jonathan Groff.”

Lin paused for a beat, and then, true to himself, pulled back an inch said the only thing that his panicking brain could think of to cheer his husband up.

“I mean… Your name _isn’t_ Jonathan Groff anymore. You’re Jonathan _Miranda_ -Groff, now.”

Jon laughed quietly, squeezing Lin’s body to his, running his hands up and down his back to comfort him. He felt Lin move closer to him, drawing his knees over Jon’s thigh and pulling himself up around Jon’s neck.

“I suppose you’re right, even if I would have liked to be consulted on the whole hyphenating matter,” Jon teased lightly, rubbing tight circles at the small of Lin’s back. By habit, he threw a quick glance around himself and felt his stomach recoil when he saw a mother giving them a judging, dirty look, and making sure to divert her sons’ attention away from them.

“As if you’d have something else to offer. I tried it, I thought about it, and “Groff-Miranda” doesn’t roll off the tongue as well. It just doesn’t, the transition from “ff” to “M”. But obviously, if you don’t like it… we don’t have to hand in any name change form…” Lin said, a hint of sadness still colouring his voice. The imminent edge of panic was mostly gone. He was completely oblivious that maybe sitting in his husband’s lap in an airport was crossing some type of line.

Jon mulled it over for a quick minute. “I like it. I think you’re right. Miranda-Groff is beautiful,” he stated. “As soon as the state of New York recognizes our marriage, I promise you we’ll go and legally change our names,” he vowed, pressing a kiss to Lin’s temple. “In the meantime, we can always introduce ourselves that way to our friends and family. Let them in on the latest Broadway-related piece of gossip.”

With that, and confident that the worst of the storm had passed, he started moving Lin off of him and back onto his own seat next to him. He kept his hand on Lin’s thigh, applying a constant pressure to reassure him, and smiled fondly at him, with just enough concern showing on his face that Lin would know he was still here to support him.

“Do we really have to wait?” Lin pouted.

Jon laughed. “‘M afraid so, lovebird.”

Dealing with his own panic attacks was something at which he historically had been notably bad, but putting other people first was a second nature for Lin, and somehow, seeing that he’d upset Jon was what he needed to finally come out of the terrifying space he’d just been in.

They looked into each other’s eyes for a while, both trying to make sure that they were going to be okay, they were going to be just fine just as long as they were with each other. Then Lin closed his eyes and breathed out, letting as much tension escape him as he could, and he let himself melt into Jon’s embrace as much as he could. They were going to be alright. They had each other.

Alex observed the scene play out in silence and, once he figured the coast was clear, walked back to them and sat on the seat on the other side of Lin, offering him a bagel and one of the coffees (in which he'd taken on himself to add a ridiculous amount of sugar), giving Jon the other bagel and one of the smoothies he'd gotten.

“I’m sorry,” Alex offered quietly, tearing nervously at the empty paper bag. “I didn't mean to be a panic catalyst, Lin. I really didn't.”

“If anyone is at fault here, Alex, it's me,” Jon replied. “I shouldn't have forced you guys to talk about something without warning and not on your terms. That wasn't really nice of me.”

Lin looked at the two of them, iconically rising his one eyebrow.

“Why are y’all apologizing for me causing a scene exactly? And when did you both became Canadian citizens? You’re honestly arguing over who should be the most sorry when I’m really the only one at blame, I flipped out on both of you… for what I really hope is not a valid reason.”

The irony of Lin’s apology didn't escape Alex, who let out a nervous chuckle while Jon lightly squeezed Lin’s thigh.

“I… I think I need to go splash some water on my face or something?” Lin said tentatively after he had taken a sip of his coffee.

“Of course, here,” Jon reached out for Lin’s coffee, “I’ll hold this for you. Are you gonna be alright?”

Lin seriously pondered the question as he handed his cup over to Jon. He supposed that in the immediate future he was going to be. After that, he was just going to have to take every day as they came. He nodded and offered a small smile to Jon and Lac.

“Yeah... Yeah,” he repeated, sounding a little more assured. “I’m just going to the bathroom, what’s the worst thing that can happen?” Lin asked as he stood up.

Jon smiled and promised they’d still be here when he came back. He kept his eyes trained on Lin’s back as he retreated to the closest bathroom, sighing once he had turned a corner and was now out of sight.

“What was that about?” Lac asked under his breath, not really expecting an answer.

“I have skin cancer,” Jon dropped as he stared ahead, going straight to the point. He was tired of dancing around the subject. He didn’t want to talk about it mainly because he wanted to avoid his friends and family treating him differently, but he could see that keeping it a secret was only going to hurt Lin in the long run. Sure, he was going to need all the support he could get to go through this in one piece, but he had to think about those who were going to be that very support system and Jon could tell that Lin didn’t trust anyone more than he trusted Alex Lacamoire. He was going to need him just as much as he himself was going to need Lin.

“I’m sorry, what?!” Alex exclaimed a bit louder than strictly necessary.

Jon’s head snapped around and he quickly shushed Alex, glancing around.

“Does Lin know?” Lac paused. “That’s what this was about, wasn’t it? He knows. That’s why he just had a panic attack over losing you. You’re not leaving, but he might still lose you…” Alex paused for a second and added, almost more for himself than for Jon, “and judging by the intensity of his reaction just now… he fell for you way harder than I thought. Which is saying something.”

Jon nodded along as Alex pieced it all together.

“Lin knows. He’s actually the first person I've told. It's also why I ended up in Vegas. Might as well, huh? I might never have another chance.” He breathed in deep and looked at Alex, concern and worry obvious on his traits. “Alex. I need you to do something for me,” Jon said quietly, keeping an eye out for Lin’s return. Once prompted by Lac, he went on. “I need you to promise you’ll look after Lin for me if…” he tried to take a deep breath but it came out rather shakily instead. “If things go south for me. I have this feeling he’s going to need someone to remind him how to function like a normal human being. You know him better than I do. I’m not wrong, am I? He’s not gonna be able to do this alone, is he?” Jon glanced at Lac just long enough to see him shake his head. “Can you do that for me? Make sure he eats and gets some sleep if I can’t…” He sighed, wishing he could run his hands down his face. “And all that,” he finished sadly.

“Of course, that goes without saying. I’m… I’m so sorry. Not just for what’s happening to you, but for everything I said to you too…”

Before he could finish his thought, Jon managed to gently kick at Lac’s foot to catch his attention and nodded towards Lin who was making his way to them. Alex took the hint and stopped. Jon looked at the clock on the wall. Quarter past one. He held the smoothie between his knees and pulled out his ticket to confirm the departure time. A few minutes after 2 o’clock. They would start boarding soon. The designated waiting gate was getting busier. Lin sat back down between the two of them and Jon handed him his coffee back. They sat in silence as they ate, all of them trying their best to process the emotions they'd just gone through. When first class got the call to board, they all got up and Alex pulled Lin into a tight hug, trying to convey as much support and care as he could.

“I’ll see you when we're back home, yeah? We’ve got a musical to finalize.”

Lin inhaled. He knew Alex was right – he'd definitely relegated _In the Heights_ to a back burner status in the past few days.

“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow, then, probably? Or at least I’ll call you so we can figure it all out?”

They parted and Lin shoved his hands in his pockets, still looking a bit fragile, sheepish.

“You know it. Have a safe flight, yeah?”

And with that, Alex took hold of his suitcase and left in direction of his own gate.

“Ready?” Jon asked with a soft smile directed at Lin, and the question felt heavy between them, because of everything it entailed, everything that was waiting for them back in New York.

“Ready.” Lin’s confirmation wrapped itself around them like a security blanket.

Jon took Lin’s hand in his, slowly making their way through the flow of people in the small hallway leading to the airplane.

“I told Alex, he knows,” he said quietly. He couldn’t stand the idea of having secrets between the two of them, but he also hadn’t want to cause a scene with Alex still present. They were three grown men, they didn’t need to be a sobbing mess in a Las Vegas airport.

“You did?” Lin asked in earnest. He wasn't expecting that. “When?”

“You went to the bathroom, and I figured, he's not gonna go and accidentally drop that on my family or my friends. I still get to tell them on my own terms. But at least this way you're not alone if… shit goes down.”

Lin’s hand tightened around Jon’s, almost to the point where it was painful, but Jon would never complain. Not now that he knew how much it affected Lin.

They found their seats easily enough, Lin insisting on taking the window seat and if he was honest, arguing with Lin on the matter didn’t even cross Jon’s mind. Lin rested his head on Jon’s shoulder as soon as they settled in and the height difference between them was absolutely perfect for that purpose. Jon tensed a bit but willed himself to relax − he didn’t know that he’d ever stop reacting this way when Lin showed more-than-friendly attention in public, but the seats around them were high enough to afford some type of privacy. He took Lin’s hand in his own and gently stroked his thumb across the smooth surface that he could reach before he brought it to his lips to press a light kiss to his knuckles.

His eyes suddenly caught the reflection of the afternoon sun on Lin’s ring as he lowered his left hand back in his lap.

“We should go get another set,” he said, running his thumb along Lin’s band so he’d know what he was talking about. “What do you think?”

“You don’t like these?” Lin replied. He hadn’t thought about it much, between the time they spent fighting with Lac, doing damage control, feeling too much, or sleeping, if they weren’t straight up getting their game on.

“It’s not that I don’t like them,” Jon countered. “They just don’t mean anything? We were drunk. For all we know, we’re not even the ones who picked them? I’d much rather have something that we’ve taken time to consider, something we thought about and talked about and _chose_.”

Lin considered the idea for a second.

“I like that. I actually really do. You’re right, I probably wouldn’t go for this one if I had the choice… Let’s do that when we get back home.” He looked at him. “I want to go ring shopping with my husband,” he added, playful tones back in his voice, with a hint of pride lurking around the edges, making Jon all warm inside. “I want to go on an adventure. A quest to find the perfect ring for you. And I’m not stopping until I find it.”

There was a determination to Lin’s tone that made Jon feel like the single most important being in the world and he broke into the biggest of smiles. He couldn’t believe how different his life was compared to two days prior, compared to two _weeks_ prior. Jon glanced around and, seeing that no one was paying them any attention what with the boarding still going on, he tilted Lin’s head up toward him and kissed him slowly. It was the only way he could think of to stop himself from actually saying ‘I love you’.

He knew he had told Lin he wanted to wait before saying it back. There was a part of him that wanted to wait until he was entirely sure − of his feelings, of being out of harm’s way − but at the same time, there was a part of him that wondered if he was just wasting time by keeping it bottled inside. Nobody knew how much time he actually had before him. He’d never been one to express his feelings as readily as Lin seemed to be. He always took the time to analyze everything, to think about how he would be affecting people if he said what was going through his mind and, while he knew being told ‘I love you’ was one of the best things in this world, he felt like there was something unfair in both saying it and keeping it in. Sure, in the long run if things went bad it would seem like the biggest waste of time of his life, but what if everything went well? He didn’t want to rush this only to find himself facing a brick wall because the early days of their relationship had been too intense. He stopped himself from overthinking any further and kissed Lin again, focusing on the feeling of his stubble under his fingers, the pressure against his lips, the way Lin was giving all of himself into Jon’s embrace. When they broke apart, Jon pressed his forehead against Lin’s, breathing in deeply.

“I like this. I like this a lot.” He whispered. That was an okay compromise.

Lin beamed.

“Well, that works, because I do too. You know what else I like a lot?” He asked in response. When Jon raised his eyebrows to spur him on, he blushed hard, as if he hadn’t thought this through (of course he hadn’t), and looked down. “You. I like _you_ a lot,” he whispered. “And it sounds fucking crazy to me. Because we barely know each other. We don’t really know each other at all, if we think about it. But also I feel like there’s no one I’d rather get to know, or there’s no one I’d rather have getting to know me than you.” And then, “I sound like a teenager, what are you doing to me?”

Jon chuckled and entwined his fingers with Lin’s again.

“So let’s get to know each other, then. What do you wanna know, lovebird? Ask away, I’m all yours.” Jon’s eyes widened as he processed what his own mouth had just said.

“Oh, that you are, pretty boy,” Lin replied with a smirk. “That, you are. And I intend for it to stay that way.”

Jon blushed all the way down his neck and Lin probably shouldn’t have felt as proud as he did for getting his husband to react in such ways.

“Okay, okay. Let’s start with something easy. When’s your birthday?”

“March 26th. Yours?”

“January 16th. Full name? Don’t even think about asking for mine, Lin-Manuel is already a mouthful.”

Jon frowned lightly. He didn’t like the self-depreciating way Lin had talked about his name. “Jonathan Drew Groff. I think Lin-Manuel is a beautiful name. Do you know where it came from?”

“Ah! It’s actually from a poem by a Puerto Rican writer, _Nana Roja Para Mi Hijo Lin Manuel_. I’ll read it to you some day.”

“You’re going to have to translate it for me,” Jon admitted, a light blush creeping up on his cheekbones.

“Done deal. Favourite Broadway actor?”

“Can it be an act _ress_? Sutton Foster, there’s no question about this one. Almost too easy. The first musical you saw on Broadway?”

“Les Mis. I’m cheesy like that. But I was, like, 7, so it’s not like I really had a say in it. You said you were from Lancaster? What was that like?”

“Ronks, actually. It’s even more in the middle of nowhere. Grew up between two Amish farms,” Lin’s eyes went wide and Jon chuckled. “It was… Quaint, to say the least. You?”

“New Yorker born and raised,” Lin replied proudly. “Ok. Now, for the real stuff. Hogwarts house? I’m a Slytherin all the way from the tip of my toes to the roots of my hair and if that doesn’t say everything you need to know about me then, I don’t know what will.”

Jon stared blankly at him, blinking slowly as he tried to make sense of what Lin had just said.

“Uh. What?”

It was Lin’s turn to stare.

“Hogwarts? School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?” Jon shook his head. “Harry Potter?” Lin tried again, hoping that would ring a bell because if it didn’t… Recognition lit up Jon’s face and Lin breathed a little easier.

“Oh! Hm… I actually haven’t seen the movies? I didn’t leave Ronks all that long ago.”

“Hold up. _Movies_?! You think these are just _movies_?!”

“Aren’t they…?”

“Oh my God. Jon! No. No they’re not. Jon, it’s just the greatest fiction series written in, like, decades, perhaps all of human history. Oh my god. My husband hasn’t read Harry Potter. Well at least now I know you’re not a Ravenclaw. I’m thinking Hufflepuff most likely. Although, maybe a little bit Gryffindor-ish. But definitely not Slytherin,” he rambled on. “Will you let me read it to you?”

“If it means that much to you, it’ll be my pleasure,” Jon replied with a soft smile, finding Lin’s enthusiasm for the series endearing.

“I can’t believe I married someone who _hasn’t read Harry Potter_. You’d think that’s the kind of thing I would know before we tied the knot, why isn’t Alex here? I can’t even yell at him for letting me do this! Remind me to call him to give him a piece of my mind when we get back home. Fair warning, I might just have to divorce you if you turn up to be a Gryffindor, though. It goes against everything Slytherins believe in. But… No. I don’t think you’re a Gryffindor. You’re not vain enough. You’re too good-hearted to be a Gryffindor. And we know you’re not a Ravenclaw. And I don’t think we’re similar. We’re complementary but we’re fundamentally different. Which leaves us with Hufflepuff. You know what? I can see that. I can sooooooo see that. My little Hufflepuff. With eyes the colour of the sky. Do you see this?” He gestured at the window, looked outside, flattened himself to let Jon look out as well. Looked back at Jon, peered right into his eyes, and every cell of Lin’s body all but lit up. If Lin had been made of electricity, he’d have enough to power the entirety of Manhattan.

And then Lin resumed his wizardry talk. Jon was taken aback and positively had no idea what Lin was going on about but the sheer passion and excitement radiating off of him made him want to listen to whatever else he had to say about Harry Potter for hours on end. He’d hang onto every word if Lin let him. He ended up doing just that for the most part of their five-hour flight back to New York, with Lin’s head back on his shoulder and their fingers entangled on Lin’s lap. It wasn’t up until the moment Jon asked a question − where should they go for their next vacation − and didn’t get an answer that he realized that Lin had fallen asleep. He seemed so peaceful that Jon couldn’t do anything else than take a much deserved nap as well. He pressed a kiss to his hair and rested his head on top of Lin’s. He knew he was likely to wake up with a stiff neck, but he couldn’t think of a better thing to do.

Lin woke up when he heard the signal for seatbelts to be fastened. They were going to start the descent soon. He didn’t remember falling asleep. He tried to move his head, crack his neck, but felt something holding him there. Realized that Jon had fallen asleep leaning on him just like he’d fallen asleep leaning on Jon and he almost threw up with how adorable that was. How adorable _he_ was. But now his neck hurt and he didn’t have a choice but to wake him up.

“Jon, honey. Pretty boy, wake up,” Lin said, giving Jon’s knee a shake at the same time, the only part of him he could reach without moving too much.

“Five more minutes,” Jon mumbled sleepily and Lin chuckled.

“I wouldn’t mind if it was up to me, but it isn’t. Come on. Let me see those gorgeous eyes of yours.”

“Sirs, please fasten your seatbelts,” came a polite female voice and Lin strained his neck as much as he could to look at the flight attendant.

“On it, sorry,” he apologized, giving Jon another shake. “Come on. You heard the lady. We’re almost home. Can I move?”

And at that, finally, Jon lifted his head from his makeshift pillow atop Lin’s, and they both groaned when they flexed from side to side.

“God, I can't wait for my bed. I've missed it. I've got a very, very good relationship with my bed, and I hope you're ready to share the love because I’m not about to pick between the two of you.” Lin was not sure where he was going with that but he didn't care, the words kinda bypassed his brain like they had the habit of doing.

“Does that mean I’m… coming over? I was going to go home, because I thought, maybe you'd want some time apart from me to like… figure this whole thing out, but yes, please, yes?”

“Give me one good reason why I would want to spend _any_ time apart right now,” Lin half commanded an eyebrow raised in disbelief, but it almost sounded like a question, and Jon’s mind could only come up with one answer.

“I don’t know, so we could at least pretend we’re courting each other?”

Lin considered the idea for a moment. It wasn’t a bad idea. Far from it. He actually wanted to take Jon out on dates. Go and pick him up with a bunch of flowers. Walk him back to his place and kiss him good night. Call him in the morning and in the evening just so Jon’s voice was the first and the last thing he heard of the day. Have a stroll in Central Park in the evening with just a cup of coffee and each other’s body to keep them warm. Long for Jon on days where he couldn’t see him because of their busy schedule. Count down the days before their next date. Annoy the fuck out of LacketyLac to get an idea for something special to do on aforementioned date. He wanted to feel that apprehension between him knocking on Jon’s front door and it being opened. Wanted to feel his breath coming up short because of how handsome Jon looked all dressed up. He knew he wanted it all.

The plane started its descent and Jon got lost in seeing the perfect grid of the New York streetlights look clearer and clearer, closer with every passing second. He'd never get tired of that. He leaned over Lin just a bit and they both tried to pretend like they could recognize the city from above, shining in the darkness of the November night.

“That’s such an incredible view. It’s fascinating.” Lin tore his eyes from the mesmerizing cityscape establishing itself below them to look into Jon’s eyes.

“The only room with a view is a room with you in it,” Lin sing-songed, pensive. “Courting each other,” Lin said after a minute of silence punctuated by their deep, easy breathing. “Can we start tomorrow? Or the other tomorrow after that. Not the one that’s in a couple of hours, the other one.” He turned back around and brought a hand to cup Jon’s face gently, dragging his thumb across Jon’s defined cheekbone like his skin was Braille and Lin was learning to read.

“Of course. I like the sound of that.”

Lin reached up and kissed him. He'd never get enough, if he had any say in the matter. “Okay. Prepare to be courted. You’ll be courted like you’ve never been courted before, Jonathan Drew Groff.”

Jon laughed. “That wasn’t a challenge, you know,” he teased.

“It is now,” Lin replied without missing a beat, grinning.

Jon was under the impression he had just made a terrible mistake. Or perhaps it was the best idea of his life. Well. After marrying Lin-Manuel Miranda-Groff. He couldn't quite figure if that was the best or worst best idea either.

They set into the motions as the plane landed, focusing on extracting themselves from the confined space. (Actually, Jon focused on that. Lin focused on the muscles in Jon’s arms as he took the luggage from the overhead compartments and the way his shirt rode up just enough to expose the soft skin of his stomach.)

They hailed a cab as soon as they got out and both of them spent the ride home shivering because the New York weather had considerably dropped during the days they were gone, especially considering that they were coming back from the desert. Lin once more threw his legs over Jon’s knee and tucked himself in close as much as he could, hoping for Jon’s body heat and his arms towering around him to keep him warm. He liked feeling small in Jon's embrace and feeling his lips on whatever part of his head he could find. Jon absentmindedly rested one hand on Lin’s thigh, holding him in place, and rubbed Lin’s back with his free hand as he looked outside the window. New York City by night was even more magical than it could be during the day. It held so many promises of good things to come.

Jon could probably never convincingly explain how it felt, especially to a New Yorker, but to the little boy from Ronks, Pennsylvania? This was a dream come true, a miracle, a blessing few got to experience.

Once they arrived to Lin’s apartment, Jon busied himself taking the suitcases out of the trunk while Lin settled the bill with the driver. Jon patiently waited with an amused smile on his lips as Lin struggled to find his keys in his suitcase, huffing a laugh when his husband finally got them. Lin picked up his suitcase and let them inside the building, leading Jon up a flight of stairs and stopping in front of the door marked with a ‘4’.

“ _Mi casa es su casa,_ ” Lin said happily as he unlocked the door for Jon to walk in. “Seriously, though. You’re always welcome here. No matter what time it is or what’s going on, my door’s always open.”

“Thank you, that’s very kind of you,” Jon said and smiled as he walked in, dropping his bag where he judged it was less likely to be in the way. Lin gave a fond smile at his husband’s polite answer and followed inside, closing and locking the door behind him.

“I’m not being kind, you’re my husband, and also, I kind of want you here at all times, if I have any say in it. Now come here,” Lin said, taking Jon’s hand in his and pulling him close. “I’ve been dying to kiss you for the better part of the past five hours and I just might if we don’t remedy that right now.”

Jon huffed a laugh but didn’t object, his free hand finding its way to Lin’s jaw on its own. He tilted Lin’s head up and leaned in, stopping just before their lips met, making Lin growl unhappily. He let his breath caress Lin’s parted lips for a moment, watching as he shivered in response. Lin all but melted against Jon when he finally closed the distance between them. Jon gently pushed Lin until his back was against the door, trapping him there. Lin moaned in the kiss as Jon intensified it, pressing his body against Lin’s. They were both breathless when Jon pulled away, Lin’s head producing a loud thud in the silent apartment when it hit the door.

“Damn,” he uttered, closing his eyes for a second to get his bearings back.

“I hope that kiss was to your satisfaction,” Jon said with a cocky grin on his lips, knowing fully well by Lin’s reaction that it had been.

Lin groaned and opened an eye, if only to glare at Jon.

“Just for that, you are _so_ showering alone.”

“And how is that fair?” Jon asked, the cockiness still painting his voice. “I merely complied to your request.”

“Nuh uh,” Lin stopped him. “Not gonna work on me. And keep those puppy dog eyes to yourself. Can I get you anything while you shower? Coffee? Cup of tea maybe?”

Jon’s face lit up at the mention of tea and Lin laughed, finally pushing himself off the door. Tea it was then. Lin led the way to the bathroom and, after literally kicking the radiator back to life, left Jon to shower while he got their beverages ready. It was still early, a bit more so taking in consideration the slight time difference between Las Vegas and New York, but a cup of tea and a movie or something along those lines should do the trick to tire them out. After all, the past couple of nights hadn’t been exactly the most restful nights of sleep they had ever gotten so going to bed early was definitely high on Lin’s list of priorities.

When Jon came out of the bathroom toweling his hair dry, Lin smiled fondly. His husband looked ridiculously good in his stupid blue plaid pajama pants and an old Conestoga Valley High School t-shirt. The bright red logo didn’t match, but Lin could appreciate the comfort of an old t-shirt better than anyone.

“Your tea should be ready by now. I’ll be quick, I promise. I miss you already,” and on that, he pecked Jon’s lips, then added, on an afterthought. “Help yourself with anything. There’s some snacks in the pantry, books in the bookshelf in the living room or the one in my office. If you want, you can pick a movie for us to watch.”

Jon dismissed him after another quick kiss and Lin ducked in his room to get his own pajamas before going into the bathroom. Jon took his time, slowly sifting through the rooms, observing Lin’s apartment as he finished drying his hair. It had a well-lived in vibe to it with notebooks and stacks of papers scattered around. He found trinkets here and there, smiling at some, frowning in confusion at others. He’d have to ask Lin what they were about one of these days. He draped his towel over the back of a kitchen chair and fixed his tea just the way he liked it, opting to explore a bit more for the moment.

He found himself in Lin’s office, holding his cup with both hands as he perused Lin’s bookshelves. He spent some time looking at the CDs and vinyl records stacked on one of them and couldn’t help but marvel at the range of Lin’s musical interests, and his lack of apparent organization. He had no idea how Lin found anything he could be looking for at any given time. Something was telling him, though, that Lin was the kind of guy who always had a pretty good idea of where each item he owned was, even if none of it was organized and it threw everyone else off. He moved to the literature section and was met with the same beautifully arranged chaos, with books piled atop each other, some stacked, some spined, some precariously perched, some looking like they’d just been thrown on top of a pre-existing pile. All the spines cracked - every book Jon picked up made thicker by the amount of dog-eared pages. Those books had had a busy life - they’d been devoured, carried around, dropped and picked back up, read through cover to cover several times over. Loved. They’d been _loved_.

A grin stretched his lips when he spotted a series of books and he pulled out what he deduced to be the first one, _Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone_. He made his way back to the living room as he read the back cover, frowning when he realized it was supposed to be a children’s book. He shrugged it off. If Lin wanted him to read it, he’d give it a try. Hopefully the books matured with time.

That was how Lin found Jon when he emerged just a few short minutes after he’d settled in, curled up on his couch, balancing the book on his knee with one hand while holding his mug with the other.

“What are you reading?” Lin asked as he poured the hot water in his own mug.

“Your recommendation,” Jon replied distractedly.

Lin sharply turned around, gaping at his husband and almost knocking his mug off the counter in the process. Everything went unnoticed by Jon, thankfully his pride was left unharmed.

“Really?” Lin asked, hopeful and Jon hummed in response.

Delighted, Lin practically skipped to the living room, mug in hand, and dropped on the couch next to Jon, somehow not spilling any tea around.

“Where are you?”

Jon pointed to a line, half expecting Lin to start reading above his shoulder, but really most of his mind was occupied by what he was reading.

“Hey!” Jon protested as Lin pulled the book out of his hand and gently nudged him to snuggle against him.

“Oh! You just reached the good part! Ok, here we go. _Nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive. He was tall, thin, and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt. He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak that swept the ground, and high-heeled, buckled boots. His blue eyes were light, bright, and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice. This man’s name was Albus Dumbledore_ ,” Lin read as Jon settled more comfortably against him.

Unknowingly, they both came to the conclusion that this was nice. Jon loved listening to Lin’s voice and he could tell his husband was very excited at the prospect of introducing him to that universe. And Jon was more than happy to let him do it. Meanwhile, Lin was thinking that it was nice to have Jon’s body curled up into him as he was and reading one of his favourite series out loud for someone he loved as much as he loved Jon was intimate and domestic in ways they hadn’t had the chance to be yet.

Lin ended up reading the first two chapters before Jon asked if they could go to bed. He was too tired to think he’d make it through the third chapter without falling asleep in Lin’s lap. Which wasn’t something he was entirely against. It just… Defeated the purpose of having his husband read him a book. Lin agreed, using a random piece of paper as a bookmark before he set the book aside and stood once Jon had taking the hand that Jon had extended towards him. Jon pulled him up and into a warm embrace, easy, natural. They were made for this. When Lin felt himself start swaying, he pulled away and tucked stray strands of Jon’s hair behind his ear, looking up at him lovingly. Jon kissed him chastely, then led Lin to his own bedroom.

Lin discarded his shirt and flannel pants, going to bed in boxers, and Jon couldn’t complain. He let Lin get in bed first, learning his habits and modeling himself around them. When Lin tucked himself all the way at the back of the bed, he turned around, let his arms out of the blanket and made grabby hands towards Jon with a pouty face. Jon smiled, close-mouthed but letting his eyes light up and the telling creases around his eyelids deepening with the way his entire body lit up. Lin was adorable, and Jon was considering that maybe Alex hadn’t been wrong when he mentioned Lin being 5 as a defendable argument. Jon followed his lead and let his blue flannel pants fall to the floor, opting to keep the shirt though. This way if they got warm at least they wouldn’t wake up all sweaty with their skin stuck to each other’s. He couldn’t handle actually sleeping with pajama pants, though, so he was glad to see that Lin didn’t think twice about taking them off. He slid under the covers and snuggled up to Lin, wrapping his arms around him and cradling his head against his chest.

They settled in like they had the night before, Jon stretched on his back with Lin curled up against his side, except that they had the heavy comfort of Lin’s blankets this time. His apartment was rather chilled, since he’d been gone and it was mid-November. It didn’t escape Jon’s notice how they were basically mirroring their position on the couch and it made him smile. He’d always be happy to curl up in Lin’s embrace, just as it would always make him happy to have Lin curl up in his.

Lin fell asleep rather quickly but if Jon had been exhausted on the couch, sleep completely eluded him now. His body demanded sleep, but his mind kept replaying the events of the day over and over again. It even went all the way back to the doctor’s announcement − _“I’m afraid we found traces of cancer, Mr Groff, I’m sorry. More profound and precise tests will have to be conducted to determine the appropriate course of action.”_ − and tears welled up in Jon’s eyes. He cried in silence as more and more memories and questionings came back to him. What if Melchior was the only role he ever got to play on Broadway? What if this upcoming Christmas and New Year’s were the last ones he ever got to see? What if he didn’t even make it to his twenty-second birthday? Was he going to make it to Lin’s twenty-seventh?

He lay awake for a long time, his breath becoming more and more shallow. No matter how he tried to distract himself, his mind always went back to those thoughts, the ones he had been working so hard to avoid for the past two weeks. He’d thrown himself in rehearsals with a newfound intensity, smiled brighter than was strictly necessary in front of the world. Kept his dread from his parents, focusing on the excitement of working on Broadway instead, on the fears of forgetting his lines, but never his fear of dying so young. Of leaving his family and friends behind. And now, leaving his husband behind. His stomach lurched at the idea and he carefully untangled himself from Lin, just in case he had to get up quickly to throw up. He wasn’t ready to cross that out as a possibility.

The alarm clock glared a bright red 2:36 when Jon couldn’t tolerate laying down any longer. He needed a breath of fresh air, a glass of water, something. He just wasn’t sure what exactly. He stumbled into the kitchen, not used to Lin’s apartment layout. Jon glanced around, his eyes seeing the windows but his brain not registering it. It did however register one thing: Lin’s cellphone that he had left on the counter while it charged.

His hands were shaking as he picked it up with only one idea in mind: call his mother. He needed to tell his mother _everything_. He dialed the familiar number as he walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Unsurprisingly, it went to voicemail but Jon tried again. He would until someone picked up. Thankfully, his mother did on the third ring, just before it went to voicemail again.

“Hello?” Came the sleepy voice of Julie Groff.

“Mom?” Jon croaked, a fresh wave of tears falling down his cheeks, and he gasped silently but no air was making it in or out of his lungs.

“Jonathan?” Julie asked, fully awake now and extremely concerned. “What’s wrong, honey?”

Jon let out a sob, not knowing where to even start. Julie listened to her youngest child cry, her own heart breaking.

“Honey. You must have called for a reason. What is it?” Julie prompted after a few minutes.

The dam finally broke and Jon told her everything. His diagnosis, his trip to Vegas, his reckless marriage to Lin, his feelings for the man and everything in between. They talked for almost an hour, only hanging up because Jon was fairly certain Lin’s phone was about to die, if the beeping sound it was making was any indication.

Jon was trying to reign in his emotions when Lin quietly came into the bathroom. He hadn’t been awake for long, hadn’t heard much of the mother and son conversation but seeing Jon curled up on his cold bathroom floor, bloodshot eyes and flushed cheeks, his arms thrown around his knees like he was physically trying to hold himself together, it all devastated Lin more deeply than he had thought possible. He slid down the wall to sit next to Jon, quickly pulling him into his arms. Jon started crying again, powerful sobs wrecking his body as he clung to him while Lin rubbed his back, rocking them both softly, tears rolling down his own cheeks. None of this was fair, none of this should be happening to either one of them, or to anyone ever, really.

Both were blissfully unaware that Jim and Julie Groff were also crying, Jim holding his wife and rocking her in a similar fashion to what was happening on the floor of the Miranda-Groff’s bathroom. Julie was crying for herself, for her son, for the bleak future awaiting her youngest child and his husband. That night, both parents prayed to Whoever would listen that they would give them the strength to get through it all in one piece. And preferably with their son alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We strive on feedback, so please, we beg of you - let us know what you think, what you loved, what you didn't, what had you melting. Hit us hard with it.  
> Thank you for making it this far. We're thankful for you.


	3. Starlight and Farmlands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Jon really had this way of grounding him, somehow. Whereas he could never focus on anything, except perhaps for music, being around Jon meant he couldn't ever focus on anything_ else _. When his thoughts were always flying at a million miles per hour in all possible directions, a constant hurricane, Jon was the center he needed, the eye of the storm. Calm before chaos – except, in this case, ‘before’ took a physical meaning, not a temporal one. Jon was the melody that Lin had been chasing, but he tended to forget that he had to let them come to him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We haven't added it in the tags because it's isolated to this chapter for now, but there are some unhealthy dynamics because of homophobia that can be pretty heavy if you've dealt with similar stuff in the past or are dealing with it now. Please advise and be cautious as you're moving through the chapter - without giving too much away, a fight breaks out and some awful stuff is being said, so please be careful. Consider yourselves warned.  
> Apart from that, massive thanks to the people who helped us get through this chapter. It was incredibly hard to pick this one out of our brains, so your support is a huge factor in us being able to post this. You know who you are.

After several minutes of letting himself get all the tears out of his system and onto Lin’s skin, Jon allowed Lin to tug him up and back into bed, tucked under the covers, with Lin wrapped around him as much as was humanly possible, pressing kisses to the top of his head every few minutes or so. He generally didn't mind being tall and broad all that much, he liked his body and put effort into keeping it strong, but in times like these he really wished he could have been made smaller, if only to feel as vulnerable in his skin as he did in his head. He turned around and buried his face in Lin’s neck, wrapped his arms around Lin’s ribcage and felt Lin’s embrace tighten around him. He eventually managed to fall into a dreamless slumber, breathing in the comforting scent of Lin’s skin that was quickly becoming his favourite thing.

When the sunrays started filtering in enough to shine on Lin’s face and wake him up, he untangled himself from Jon’s body and quickly got up to make coffee for both of them. He didn't want to leave Jon alone but they'd both need the neurochemical rush. He made sure to be as quick and efficient as possible to ensure that Jon wouldn't wake up alone in a bed that wasn't his – Lin remembered all too well the worry that had hit him when he'd woken up without Jon by his side back at the hotel, however short-lived and erroneous that worry had been.

As the coffee pot brewed, Lin ducked into his office, retrieving both his electric mug warmer and his laptop. He plugged the former and placed it on his nightstand, leaving the latter on the bed for the time being. He wouldn’t say it, but Lin was also using this as an excuse to check in on Jon, making sure he was still asleep. The young actor was frowning in his sleep and Lin sighed sadly. He hoped his husband wasn’t being plagued by nightmares, that the only thing that bothered him at the moment was Lin’s absence. After a few minutes spent watching over Jon, Lin went back to the kitchen to pour them both a mug, fixed his the way he liked it and cursed himself for failing to notice how Jon liked his. Although, it wasn’t like he had had time to go get a fresh carton of milk anyway, so creamer was gonna have to do for today.

Using a plate to carry everything, he brought the mugs and the fixings back to his room. Jon’s coffee went on the warmer, the creamer and some sugar next to it and Lin held his mug as straight as he could as he got back into bed after abandoning the plate on top of his dresser. It took some careful balancing but, after a couple of minutes, Lin was sitting with his back against the wall while his MacBook was booting up on his lap as he sipped his coffee, his free hand absentmindedly running through Jon’s curls in an effort to soothe his husband’s worries. Lin scrunched up his nose in distaste when came time to actually use his laptop as both of his hands were otherwise occupied. In the end, Lin chose to settle his mug between his thighs after pushing the computer a bit further on his extended legs, rather than letting go of Jon for any longer than necessary.

After a while spent sifting through his emails, deleting all the spam, confirming his presence to a meeting with Lacamoire, Tommy, Andy and Jeffrey, Lin moved onto tweaking some parts of _In The Heights_ , humming quietly when needed so he wouldn’t wake Jon. If he was being honest with himself, he was surprised at how productive he was being that morning. It usually took him at least an hour of mindless surfing before he could even consider opening his emails. Although, he supposed he could rationalize that his day had really started at 3 this morning and that the sleep he had gotten afterwards had been more of a nap caused by the emotional exhaustion.

When Jon finally stirred next to him, Lin’s fingers were itching to call Lac so they could go over some changes he wanted to make. He had been refraining if only for Jon’s sake, not that he really minded. However, if Jon was awake, he didn’t seem all that inclined to engage with his surroundings at all, and Lin could only begin to guess as to why. Lin wordlessly pulled up the softest classical album he could think of, lowered the volume of his laptop and hit play, letting the music quietly fill the room as he kept lightly playing with Jon’s hair. It was the only way he could think of to let Jon know that he was there and that he would be no matter what. He could only hope Jon was going to get his message.

“Morning,” Jon finally mumbled fifteen minutes later, his voice rough. Although if it was from sleep, from spending a good part of the night crying, or both, Lin couldn’t tell.

“Hi, lovely. How are you feeling?” Lin asked, a kind smile on his lips and love in his gaze as he reached for the mug on the nightstand to offer it to Jon.

“Like I just got trampled by a horse,” Jon replied honestly, slowly sitting up and taking the coffee from Lin as Lin’s eyebrows furrowed with concern. “Creamer please?”

“You’re not speaking from experience, are you?” Lin asked as he handed over the creamer to Jon.

He shrugged. “Happened once when I was younger. Bruised ribs and a cracked one. And a bunch more bruises all over my body. David called me Pongo for a year after that. He calls me Perdita when he really wants to piss me off, to this day.”

“David? And more importantly, did it piss you off?”

“My older brother,” Jon shrugged. “I punched him in the face for it once, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Would you punch me if I called you Perdita?” Lin tried to joke.

The glare he received from Jon convinced him that he definitely would so. Lin made a mental note to never use that nickname. Ever. Lin raised his hands in surrender, laughing lines crinkling at the corner of his eyes despite his attempt at keeping a serious face.

“Ok, ok. Sorry. Will you punch me if I kiss you?”

“Do you really want to kiss this mess?” Jon asked, vaguely gesturing to his face.

As means for an answer, Lin ducked down, careful not to knock either his computer or Jon’s coffee over (and more importantly, careful not to knock Jon’s coffee _on_ his computer), and let his lips brush Jon’s, reveling in the feeling of Jon tilting his head to fit better against his own. He turned his body as best he could and brought a hand down to settle against Jon’s thigh, softly squeezing. Not nearly satisfied, Lin pressed a lingering kiss to the corner of Jon’s mouth before he moved again to truly kiss Jon.

“You really don’t get it, do you?” Lin asked quietly after they pulled away, his lips still brushing against Jon’s as he spoke. “I want you here. I always want to kiss you. You’re never anything less than drop dead gorgeous to me,” Jon scoffed in a self-depreciating way that made Lin scowl. “Don’t you dare,” Lin warned, giving Jon’s thigh another squeeze. “I like you. I _love_ you. Mess or no mess. Snotty nose and bloodshot eyes or powerful stance and squared shoulders. So yeah, I want to kiss this mess. And don’t you dare ever doubt it.”

Jon turned his body towards Lin and let his forehead rest on Lin’s shoulder. He couldn’t necessarily see what Lin saw in him but that didn’t mean he didn’t react to compliments like that. Anyone would. He focused on the warmth of the mug in his hands, of Lin’s hand on his leg. Jon hated how out of tune with his body he felt. It was a feeling he hadn’t experienced since his teenage years and it wasn’t any easier to deal with at 21 than it had been at 15. His mind was still reeling from the major break down it had just gone through and for the first time since he had left Ronks, he found himself wishing he’d be back home. Even if it only was for his mother’s cocoa and comforting embraces and his father’s wisdom and wisecracks. He swallowed hard, taking a couple of shallow breaths before he forced himself to calm down.

“Hey, hey. Jon. What’s wrong?” The concern that had shown itself on Lin’s face earlier had made its way deep in his voice.

“I need to go home,” Jon blurted out.

“Hm… Sure? Need some help? I’ll call a cab, if you want me to.”

“No, no. I need to go to Ronks,” Jon insisted. “I need to see my parents, I can’t leave them like that, it’s not fair. Not after everything they’ve done for me.”

“Okay, we’ll get you there. Do you need anything from me, or do you need me to leave you be?”

“Can you stay, please?” Jon asked in a small voice. His eyes seemed greyer suddenly, the saturation gone. “I… I don’t trust my emotions,” he admitted quietly.

“Ok. In that case, promise me you’re not planning on driving there? We’ll find you a bus or a train or something. Would you like me to look that up for you while you get your things ready?”

Jon nodded, his eyes filling up with tears again.

“I…” Jon started, trying to voice his concerns. He closed his mouth before opening it again but nothing came out. He didn’t know what to say, even less how.

“Yes?” Lin asked patiently after a moment of silence. “What is it, pretty boy?”

“Tell me what to do, please. I can’t think,” Jon finally admitted after another minute passed in silence.

Lin took a deep breath, focusing on the task at hand. He understood what Jon needed from him probably better than anyone in Jon’s life could have. After all, he could recall needing the exact same thing from Alex and Tommy a couple of times when everything just seemed too big and he couldn’t figure out where he was supposed to start. He knew he could do this, he had to – for his husband’s sake.

“Ok. Anything you need,” Lin said gently, giving Jon another squeeze. “Finish your coffee for me, please? And don’t forget to breathe,” he added the last part as an afterthought. “I’ll make sure we can get you to Ronks today in the meantime. Bus or train?”

“Train to Lancaster,” Jon replied sitting up and he nodded slowly, probably looking pathetic − not that Lin would ever tell him that − before he did as he was told. He watched in silence as Lin typed away on his laptop, trying to put order into his thoughts. The truth was, Jon was glad he was going to get three hours to himself so he could finally think about his relationship − and marriage − with Lin. He was willing to bet that it wasn’t going to be too much. Probably not nearly enough.

“We have less than two hours to get you on that train and we need to go to your place,” Lin said, pulling Jon away from his thoughts. “Can you drink a little faster, please?”

Jon blinked and downed the last half of his mug in two gulps, making Lin chuckle lightly as Jon handed him the empty mug.

“Not what I had in mind, but that works too,” he commented before closing his laptop and getting out of bed, amusement still ringing in his voice.

Lin guided Jon through every little motion of getting ready, never once losing his patience nor his temper, going as far as to pick Jon's outfit for the day in his remaining clean clothes from Vegas. Jon was immensely grateful for Lin in that moment if only because following his commands meant Jon's mind could focus on more important things than his next step. They were just about to leave when Lin stopped him, considering Jon up and down. While Jon had thought about packing a jacket − or had worn one on his way to Vegas − the weather was a lot more chilly than it had been the week prior. Pursing his lips, Lin opened the closet in his entryway and pulled out a dark emerald green scarf, wrapping it around Jon's neck.

“There. Now you're perfect,” Lin declared, smiling at his husband who stared at the scarf for a moment, a light blush tinting his cheeks.

“Could I…” he frowned before he started over. “Do you think I could get a picture of you?” Jon asked timidly. “I know mom's going to want to see what you look like.”

Lin's grin grew and he reached up, giving Jon a quick kiss. “Stay right here, I'll go get you one.”

Lin ducked into his office, riffling through his papers and things for a moment before he finally found the picture he wanted. Thinking fast, he picked a seemingly random book off of his bookshelf and placed the photo inside to protect it. Could he have used _Harry Potter_? Sure, but he absolutely refused to let Jon read it without him around. Especially the first one. (Even if, in the end, Lin would find a valid excuse to be around to witness Jon’s reactions throughout the entire series.)

“There you go,” Lin said as he handed the book to Jon after he came back. He glanced at his watch and gently pushed Jon towards the door. “Come on, while we’re not late yet, we’re not exactly early.”

They left Lin’s apartment and hailed a cab, Jon giving his address to the driver, which Lin made sure to note as soon as he would have a moment free from Jon’s attention. Lin was growing restless. He hated how quiet Jon was being. He could understand where it was coming from and why Jon would choose to be silent, but to hell if it wasn’t driving Lin completely crazy right this moment. He wished more than anything that he knew the words to pull Jon out of the mind numbing space in which he was, wished he knew how to bring his pretty boy back to him. However, he also did know that there wasn’t much more to do than wait, and that he could just try to be as supportive and helpful as possible to make it easy on Jon in the meantime. He turned his head in Jon’s direction and used one of his hands to softly tilt Jon’s own towards him, so that he could look into his eyes. The tears that had been threatening to spill since Jon had let Lin help him had somehow brought back the colours in his irises and Lin wished he could paint every speck, every different shade of blue he could see. He wanted to remember the way Jon’s eyes shone, so bright, forever.

Once they pulled up in front of Jon’s building, Jon paid while Lin took his suitcase out of the trunk, and they walked up the steps together. It seemed slightly easier for Jon to go through the simple motions of getting into his apartment and setting down his things. Probably due to the familiarity of the environment, Lin assumed. Lin just stood back and took it in as much as he could. Jon really had this way of grounding him, somehow. Whereas he could never focus on anything, except perhaps for music, being around Jon meant he couldn't ever focus on anything _else_. When his thoughts were always flying at a million miles per hour in all possible directions, a constant hurricane, Jon was the center he needed, the eye of the storm. Calm before chaos – except, in this case, ‘before’ took a physical meaning, not a temporal one. Jon was the melody that Lin had been chasing, but he tended to forget that he had to let them come to him. But Jon had found him regardless. And he was going to let this song finish writing itself until it would start playing itself over and over, getting better, gaining traction each time the beginning chord echoed between them.

“Do you have another bag or do we need to unpack that suitcase?” Lin asked, pointing to the suitcase Jon was still holding by the handle.

“No, I have a duffel bag somewhere,” Jon replied in that same far off voice he'd had since he'd asked Lin to tell him what to do. Lin hadn’t thought it possible for him to hate any intonations of Jon's voice, but this one was taking the cake.

“Go get it for me, I'll get your toiletries out of this one and I'll meet you in your room, alright?”

Jon nodded and, after showing Lin where his room was, went to get his duffel. Lin started rummaging through Jon’s suitcase, pulling out every item he could think of that Jon would need in Pennsylvania. Jon came back a couple of minutes later, dropping the empty bag on his bed before he looked up to Lin expectantly.

“You’re doing good, you’re doing great,” Lin praised, moving to press a kiss to Jon’s cheek. Uh. Stubbles. Lin wondered for a second if Jon could deal with being given the choice between shaving or not. He suddenly noticed the way Jon’s body was trembling ever so lightly and Lin decided that he wasn’t going to risk having Jon using a sharp object against his precious skin. He stopped packing for a quick minute – they could afford a minute – and made his way around the bed to hold Jon, placing a soothing hand at the back of his skull. If he could only take a fraction of the weight of the world on Jon’s shoulders, he would do it without a hint of hesitation. Jon immediately wrapped his arms around Lin’s middle, his fists twisting in the back of Lin’s shirt. Lin heard him sniffle and it didn’t take much longer before he felt wet spots on the shoulder of his shirt.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. It’s alright. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” Lin whispered comfortingly, turning his head so he could press a kiss to Jon’s. Lin rubbed Jon’s back for a couple of minutes, keeping an eye on the alarm clock. He had strong negative feelings about being rushed, he hated having to rush a song, hated the stupid pressure to deliver he’d put on himself, but this? Lin _loathed_ having to rush his husband when Jon so clearly needed him not to.

He pulled away, his hands going to Jon’s shoulders to gently push him away, to which Jon answered by clinging even harder onto Lin’s shirt. Lin could feel the gentle sobs making Jon twitch ever so slightly against himself, but carefully, as if he almost didn’t want to disturb Lin, as if he was afraid of scaring him away. Lin had to bite his bottom lip to keep himself from sighing at how awful this felt, however necessary. He rubbed his hands softly along the length of Jon’s upper arms, down his back, whichever part of his body he could reach.

“Pretty boy, look at me, please?” Lin asked before he tried pulling himself away from Jon again. He let him do it this time around, but Lin wasn’t careless enough to push him out of his embrace entirely. He kept their bodies close, let Jon hold onto him tightly. He lifted his hands to cup Jon’s face, his thumbs lightly caressing his cheekbones, wiping away Jon’s tears as he did so. “I’m gonna get you to the train station. I’m gonna stay with you until it's time for your ride to leave. I’ll even follow the train down the platform like in the movies if you want me to. And you will go home, and you'll spend time with your family. You all need a couple days together. You'll go make sense of everything that's happening. It’s a lot, all of it, I know it is. And when you come back, I’ll be waiting. I'll be right here where I belong.”

He felt the telltale signs of his throat closing up, but this was too important. He pushed through, never breaking eye contact, never taking his hands away from Jon’s face.

“And we can talk. Or we can stay quiet. We can lay in bed and do nothing, or we can listen to cast recordings, or watch cartoons or wildlife documentaries. We can read Harry Potter. We can nap. We can visit every touristic attraction of New York City if you want to. Eat cheesecake until we feel like we’re about to explode. We can do anything you need us to be doing. I'll do it with you. I got you. And you got me. And that's all we need. That’s all that matters.”

Jon didn't have words, wouldn't have been able to get them out even if he did. So he did the only logical thing he could think of − he kissed his husband, desperately trying to convey everything that he felt with the gesture. He didn’t want this to be his last good months. He _couldn’t_ let that happen. He absolutely and categorically refused. A week ago, Jon had been resigned that maybe this was going to be it, that his life was looking rather bleak, that he needed to make the most of it while he still could. But meeting Lin, finding him in the sea of people that moved around Sin City, it broke every single bit of the wall Jon had built around himself. He couldn’t leave Lin behind. He simply couldn’t. And he needed Lin to know all of that. He knew he’d said it during their last night in Vegas, but he needed Lin to _feel_ it, not just to hear it. Jon needed Lin to know that he had been fooling himself, that of course he already loved Lin, that the only reason as to why he couldn’t say it back was because he was scared shitless, out of his mind, at the prospect of hurting Lin. Jon tightened his grip onto Lin’s shirt, pulling their bodies closer, relishing into the warmth coming off of Lin.

But if there was an obvious desperation to the kiss, Jon also tried to convey the gratitude he felt towards Lin with it. He didn’t know how long he would have kept everyone in the dark − kept everyone at bay − if he hadn’t dropped the news on Lin. In a sense, Lin was the reason why Jon was even telling anyone about what was going on with his health and he was incredibly grateful for that – because in the end, he wasn’t sure how he even thought he could have done this alone. And he didn't want Lin to be the sole bearer of that cross. But also, and that was the most important part in Jon’s eyes, he was grateful that Lin had chosen to _stay_ , had stated he was going to be there for him without hesitation, without having to even take a minute to think about it. Opening up to Lin and Alex had given him the strength to open up to other people. In hindsight, that was probably part of the reason why he hadn’t told anyone before. Because he was scared they would choose to protect themselves by distancing themselves from him and Jon couldn’t even have blamed them, but the weight of that threat was too much to handle alone. Now, he knew he could call Lin if it became too much at home, and he knew he'd know how to comfort him even if nobody else did.

When Jon finally broke away, he pressed his forehead against Lin’s and kept his eyes closed as he tried to regain control over his labored breathing. He forced himself to relax his grip on Lin’s shirt a little bit every time he breathed out until he eventually completely let go of Lin, taking a step back from him. Jon took another deep breath before he finally opened his eyes, staring straight into Lin’s. While Lin could see that Jon was still tense, he had at least stopped trembling for the time being.

“Thank you,” Jon whispered as he brought a hand to Lin’s jaw. He tilted Lin’s head down a bit to press a kiss to his forehead before he pulled away again. “What’s next?” Jon asked and Lin let out a relieved sigh. While Jon’s voice still sounded slightly distant, emotions were starting to colour it again. His pretty boy was coming back to him.

“We finish getting you packed,” Lin said, still somewhat dazed by that kiss. “And you need to stop doing that.”

Jon frowned and tilted his head, making Lin chuckle at how his husband’s face was the physical embodiment of a question mark.

“Driving me crazy when we have places to be and no time,” he explained. “That's the second time you've done that in two days, it is _not_ fair.”

Jon blinked and let out a small laugh before he started moving around his room, choosing some pieces of clothing and throwing them in Lin's direction so he could put them in the duffle bag. Lin noticed how Jon's movements were getting more fluid and less automatic, making him breathe a little easier.

Lin called another cab. They were gonna be tight, but not late, they still had time. He wasn't putting Jon through using transit in that state.

He swung the bag across his shoulder and led Jon outside after wrapping him in his scarf once more.

“I have my own, Lin, you don't have to–”

“Who said I had to? I mean, unless you don't want it. I just thought maybe you'd like having a little bit of me with you while you were gone. I'll take it home if it's too much…”

“No, no. I didn't mean it like that. I love it. Thank you.”

They sat on the backseat of the cab, Lin keeping Jon’s bag on his lap, and asked to be taken to Penn Station. Lin chuckled lightly to himself just because Jon was leaving from _Penn_ Station to go to _Penn_ sylvania. What could he say? One didn’t do the job he was doing without finding words at least somewhat amusing. He just happened to be one of those who found coincidences like that hilarious.

They got to the station and bought Jon’s ticket with fewer than ten minutes to spare before embarking began. Lin led Jon to a couple of seats and sat down next to him, pulling his cellphone out of his pocket as he did so.

“Here,” Lin said, offering it to Jon. “Call your parents, make sure someone’s waiting for you in Lancaster when you get there, please?” He considered his husband for a moment as he dialed. “Will you call me when you get there? Just so I know you’re okay, please?”

Jon looked up just before pressing the green button and nodded. “Anything you need,” he whispered as he turned his face away when the line started ringing.

Lin smiled fondly. He realized as Jon brought the phone to his ear that Jon didn’t _have_ his number. Which, really, was appalling for a married couple, come to think of it. He scrambled through the pockets of his jacket, always full with spare change, unused napkins, daily life artifacts, and found a pen he'd forgot to put in his own bag. He used the fact that Jon was absorbed in his phone conversation to pull the book with his picture out of the front pocket of the duffle bag and scrambled his number on the back of the fourth cover for Jon.

Lin put away his pen but kept the book on his lap and reached out for the back of Jon’s neck, lightly massaging it with his fingertips as he watched the crowd around them. Jon relaxed noticeably under his hand and closed his eyes. He let out a real, deep breath for the first time in what felt like weeks. Lin had his back.

“Yes. I’m boarding soon so, should be in Lancaster a bit before 2,” Jon said and Lin realized he hadn’t been listening to him beforehand. “Can you make sure dad’s there?” A pause. “Okay. Thanks mom, I’ll see you later. I love you too.”

While Lin knew the ‘I love you’ had been directed at Jon’s mother, he couldn’t stop his heart from fluttering at how they sounded in his husband’s voice. He silently prayed he’d get to hear these same words directed at him in the near future. Jon flipped Lin’s phone closed and handed it back to him, taking a deep breath before he smiled.

“Thank you, for everything,” he said, resting his head on Lin’s shoulder. He’d allow himself that small comforting gesture despite being in public.

“I’m gonna miss you, pretty boy, but I’ll be right here for you when you come back. Say hi to the in-laws for me?” Lin said into his hair, making Jon chuckle a little. He needed a moment to process the implications – this was all so new.

“I don’t think anyone expected me to be the first one to get married. Too reserved, is what mom keeps saying.”

“You know, _reserved_ isn't the first word that comes to my mind when I think of you. You did, after all, kiss me within a half hour of waking up, wearing nothing but a towel, with your hair dripping wet. That's a pretty bold move. You didn't even know I liked dudes.”

“We were married. We _are_ married. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have married me if you didn't like guys, even if just a bit.” And there was the playfulness in Jon’s voice that had been so sorely missing this whole morning.

“You still thought we were going to get an annulment though,” Lin pointed out.

“Who says I wasn’t trying to convince you not to with that kiss?” Jon shot back, making Lin laugh.

Lin hummed pensively for a second. “Then I say you succeeded, pretty boy. Can't say I'd quite been kissed like that before. Or, if I had, it hadn't quite felt that good. I'll give you that.”

The smile on Jon’s face at that would have lit up the darkest of rooms.

_“This is the boarding announcement for the Pennsylvanian route with its final stop in Pittsburgh. We are now inviting passengers with small children, and any passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Now boarding for Pittsburgh.”_

“That’s you, pretty boy,” Lin said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

“I… Yeah…” Jon breathed out.

Now that he was facing having to leave Lin behind, he could feel the apprehension knotting his stomach. He didn’t want to leave anymore. Or rather, he didn’t want to leave without Lin. He needed Lin’s protection. He knew he’d be fine once he was going to be home, but the three-hour trip to get there? He wasn’t sure he could handle it. Jon stood up, shuffling awkwardly from foot to foot.

“Oh! Before I forget,” Lin said as he handed Jon his book. “I realized you didn’t have my number, so I wrote it down for you. Don’t forget to call me, okay?”

Jon nodded before he pulled Lin into one of his own bear hugs.

“I’m sorry for leaving you like this. After everything you’ve done, it just… It feels cold. Are you mad at me?”

“Hey, hey. Don’t worry about it. It’s alright, I understand. And, for the record, I could never be mad at you. Come on, now. We didn’t rush this whole morning just to have you miss your train because you hugged your husband for too long at the station, did we?” Lin asked before Jon let go of him, taking a step back.

“No, you’re right.”

Jon reached out and took Lin’s hand in his, leading the way to the platform for the Pennsylvanian. He squeezed Lin’s fingers, swallowing tightly as they approached the train. It was taking all of his willpower not to beg Lin to come with him.

“Just, call me when you get home?” Lin reiterated.

“I will.” He swallowed hard. “Lin?”

“What is it, pretty thing?”

“I love you.”

And with that, he turned around and walked through the train door, leaving a stunned Lin behind. He didn't look back to see the tears that had gathered at his husband’s waterlines, the way he stayed there with his hand lightly extended, the way it had tried to follow Jon, the way his mouth was slightly parted, and God, it was gonna be a long and grey November weekend.

Jon curled himself up into his seat, only now realizing that he was clutching Lin’s book to the point where his knuckles had turned white. He buried his nose into his husband’s scarf and inhaled deeply, screwing his eyes shut and biting the inside of his cheeks. He tried on himself the same breathing exercises he'd had Lin perform in the airport. Focused on taking notice of his heartbeat. Breathed in. Held. Out. In again – slower. Held. Out. Tried to learn the way Lin’s distinct smell lingered on the scarf and tried to empty his mind. The next thing he noticed was the train taking as sharp a turn as it could and suddenly the sun was blinding him, startling him, and he looked at his watch and it was 1:30 in the afternoon and he was going to be home so, so soon. He’d fallen asleep without planning or noticing so. He hadn't even realized before then that a woman, probably in her early fifties, had taken the seat next to him. Had she been there all along or had she climbed aboard during one of their earlier stops?

He shook his head to regain some alertness and leafed through Lin’s book, finally finding where Lin had scribbled his number and let his fingers stroke the digits slowly. He lingered on the way Lin had of pressing the tip of his pen just a bit too hard into the soft cover, leaving indents that Jon could feel under his fingertips. He made a mental note of learning every inch of Lin’s body with the exact same care he was giving the ink, every tiny scar, every freckle, every mark he could find, until he could conjure them in his memory at will.

After a moment, Jon realized that he hadn’t even looked at the picture Lin had given him. He probably should do that, just in case Lin had given him the most embarrassing picture of all time. He really didn’t want to have to explain anything of the sort to his parents. He was half expecting a picture of Lin, goofy, perhaps obviously drunk, pretending to play air-guitar in his underwear with Lac. He wouldn't put it past them to have a picture of the kind existing. But instead, he was greeted with the softest, most genuine smile, a Lin that was stress-free and truly happy to be wherever he was when that picture was being taken. He choked down the sob that threatened to break through his lips and he wasn't sure if it was him just being overwhelmed at his luck, or terrified at his future. Perhaps both.

“Who’s that handsome fellow?” The woman asked and Jon was taken aback. He looked down at the picture and then back at the lady’s kind face. He felt a slight panic at the thought that they had never discussed it. Sure, in their eyes they were married, didn’t have an issue saying so to their friends and families, but did they really want to have to explain it all to strangers? In the moment, Jon surely didn’t.

“My boyfriend,” Jon replied, settling for a half-truth. (And trying how the word rolled off his tongue when Lin-Manuel Miranda was the guy he was thinking about when he said it. It definitely was a hundred times better than with any of his previous relationships.)

The lady smiled knowingly at his answer, as if she had already known that was what he was going to say.

“He looks like a very nice young man,” she commented.

The conductor’s voice came over the P.A. system, announcing their upcoming arrival to the Lancaster Train Station.

“I’m sorry,” Jon apologized, as the train started to slow down, “but this is my stop. But you’re right, he is. Probably the nicest guy I’ve ever met.” He couldn’t keep the smile from pulling the corners of his lips up, crow's feet forming around his eyes.

The lady got up and stood in the aisle so that Jon could get out of his seat and she squeezed his arm before sitting back down.

“I wish you two the very best, dear,” she said and Jon believed her. For some reason, this woman’s acceptance and kindness meant so much more to him than any other stranger’s opinion ever did.

“Thank you, ma’am, that’s very kind of you.”

“If he looks at you the way you’ve just been looking at his picture, dear, don’t ever let him go, you’ve got something good going,” she concluded and there was a wisdom to her words that Jon could only assume came from experience.

The train came to a stop and Jon waved goodbye to the lady before he stepped out onto the platform. Within five minutes he had retrieved his bag and was on his way to find his father. Which he thought was to be easier said than done considering Jon was taller than him now. It was easy to lose sight of him in a sea of people. That was until Jon was reminded how Lancaster was the complete opposite to New York City. The ‘crowd’ Jon had been expecting was composed of twelve people at most and he shook his head, laughing at his own forgetfulness.

“Pa!” Jon greeted warmly.

“Jonathan,” his father responded with a smile, pulling him into his embrace. “Let’s get you home,” he said after he let go. “Your mother has been besides herself ever since you called this morning. I even wondered if I had married a headless chicken for a second without me knowing,” he joked, making Jon laugh a little.

“I’m sorry for dropping in like that,” Jon apologized as they made their way outside and to Jim’s red pickup truck. “After last night it just… It just seemed like the right thing to do.”

Jim shot a weird look to his son.

“Jonathan. You are our son, no matter what. You will _always_ be welcomed here. Now don’t let your mother hear you say that you’re sorry for coming here unannounced, because I honestly don’t know which of us will get a worse hearing from her,” he finished, throwing Jon a conspiratorial wink.

They drove back to the farm in a comfortable silence, letting the radio fill the cabin. Both men knew that catching up without Julie being present only meant that one of them was going to be repeating himself or that the other would be hearing the same story for the second time. Jon smiled genuinely for the first time of the day as his father pulled into the driveway and Jon couldn’t stop his mind from wondering how would Lin fare on a farm. He chuckled quietly to himself at the idea.

He laughed again when he noticed some of the Mennonite women working for his parents lingering around the house, pretending to work but clearly awaiting his arrival. Driving them home after their long day of work on the farm was still one of his most cherished memory of Ronks. He wasn’t sure why he felt so much better already, not when he hadn’t seen most of the ride because he was too caught up in his misery to notice his surroundings, but he decided not to dwell on it. Knowing the kind of chat that he was about to have with his family, Jon wanted to cling to every bit of happiness he felt. Then again, maybe he had unconsciously put his mask back on for the time being, only for it to come tumbling down again when he was going to be in the privacy of his home and in his parents’ company.

“If it isn’t my favourite group of ladies in all of Pennsylvania!” Jon greeted them with a bright smile, making several of them laugh.

“Still a charmer, aren’t we?” One of them asked as she approached him to give him a hug.

“Alas, Melany, I don’t think it’s an habit of mine I’ll ever lose,” he replied, grinning as he hugged her.

Most of these women weren’t big fans of embraces and public displays of affection, it was just the way things were in their community, but some of them had overcome that with Jon and David after having been working on the farm since they were little kids. Melany, their most loyal employee and probably the one that had been around the longest, was nothing less than a family member in Jon’s eyes. He took some time to chat with them, most of them curious about life in the big city and he was more than happy to relay his experience to them. If he felt Melany staring intently at him, he didn’t mention it and she didn’t ask anything that seemed to preoccupy her.

“Jonathan Drew Groff,” came a new female voice and Jon visibly winced at it. “Were you raised in a barn? You have been here for thirty minutes already and you haven’t even deigned kiss your mother hello.”

Jon looked up to find his mother standing in the doorframe of the main entrance, her hands on her hips and her expression stern.

“That’s exactly it, dear mother of mine. I _wasn’t_ raised in a barn, you of all people should know that. I couldn’t simply walk past all of these lovely ladies!” Jon exclaimed before he quickly climbed the few steps leading up to the porch, taking them two at a time. He kissed his mother on the cheek. “Hello, Ma.”

“Hello dear,” she said, smiling softly at him before she turned her attention back to the group of women down the steps. “Alright ladies, back to work, the lot of you. It’s Friday, my son is home. Let’s cut this day short, shall we? You can go home as soon as your current task is done, how does that sound?”

A chorus of excited “Thank you”s came back and the youngest women took off running to get back to work.

“Come on in, your father already put your bag into your room. Do you want anything to drink?” Julie asked as they walked inside.

“A cup of tea would be great, thanks,” Jon replied as he took off his jacket and shoes. He paused when all he had left was Lin’s scarf, taking one end in his free hand. It was only then that he realized he was still holding Lin’s book, but he refused to set it down. He considered the scarf for a moment and shook his head, deciding to keep it on.

He walked into the kitchen after putting his coat away, watching with a fond smile as his mother busied herself into making them tea.

“Are you cold?” Julie asked as they waited for the water to boil, pointing to the scarf around Jon’s neck. “Or is it a Broadway thing? For your voice?”

“Hm… No,” Jon blushed lightly. “It’s Lin’s, actually,” he admitted, making her huff a laugh and shake her head in endearment. Jon was grateful that she didn’t comment any further. Although, if he knew anything about his mother, he knew that she would be bringing it back up later on.

They sat in silence as they waited, the air growing thicker between them. Jon wasn’t oblivious enough to not notice it. Especially when he knew why it was this way and what lay behind that silence. It was finally pierced through by the kettle whistling and Julie stood up to get it. As she was pouring the mugs, the phone rang.

“Jim, could you get it please?” Julie called out and, before Jon could react, his father had walked into the kitchen and picked up the phone.

“Hello, Groff’s residence,” he said.

 _“Hi, hello, is Jon home yet?”_ came a stranger’s voice and Jim frowned, his eyes trained on his son as he accepted the mug Julie was handing him.

“As a matter of fact, he is. May I ask who’s asking for him?”

_“Oh! Right! Sorry, sir. Lin-Manuel Miranda-Groff, sir.”_

Jim raised an amused eyebrow at that.

“Mr. Miranda-Groff, uh?” Jim asked, judging his son’s reaction at the name. He had to bite the inside of his cheek not to laugh at the way Jon immediately perked up at the name, his eyes instantly going wide. “Hold on, I’ll put him on the line,” he said, handing the phone over to Jon, his hand covering the receiver. “I think this one’s for you _Mr. Miranda-Groff_ ,” he teased, making Jon blush deeply.

“Thanks,” he mumbled as he took the cordless phone from his father, walking to his old bedroom. He waited until the door was closed behind him to bring the phone to his ear. “Lin?” Jon asked, even though he knew it was him.

“You fucking idiot!” Lin exclaimed and Jon was sincerely taken aback. He heavily sat down on his bed and set Lin’s book in his lap, letting his fingers run over the soft cover.

“I’m so sorry, some of the workers stopped me and started asking questions and I lost track of time,” Jon apologized.

“Not for that!” Lin interrupted. On any other day, Lin wouldn’t really have minded if Jon hadn’t called him the second he stepped inside his house. But today was different. Jon had left him without giving him a chance to respond to his ‘I love you’ and Lin had been waiting for way too long already to say what was on his mind on the matter. “You said you loved me! And then you left! I didn’t even get to say it back, you idiot!”

“Oh…” Jon breathed out. So Lin wasn’t mad for the reasons Jon thought he had been.

“Fuck,” he sighed, trying to make sense of his whirling thoughts. “I love you, too. I love you. I _love_ you so fucking much, pretty boy. I’ve been thinking about it for the past… How long has it been? Three and a half hours? Four hours? Whatever. I can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve been repeating it in my head all day. You can’t tease me like that, Jonathan Drew Groff. Say it again, please?” Lin asked, sounding slightly desperate with that final request.

Jon breathed easier, even chuckled lightly.

“I would if you let me put a word in?” Jon teased and he waited for a few seconds to see if Lin would let him go on. When he didn’t speak, Jon took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I, Jonathan Drew Miranda-Groff, love you, Lin-Manuel Miranda-Groff.”

He heard Lin suck in a breath at the other end of the line.

“I love you,” Jon repeated.

“I love you, too. I miss you already. And it’s not fair, you have a picture of me to look at whenever you miss me, you have my scarf and my book and I didn’t even _think_ about stealing anything from your apartment and I’m so mad at myself right now.”

Jon chuckled lightly again, looking around his room.

“You know…” Jon started, “you _could_ go back to my place. There’s a key in the potted plant next to the door?”

He’d be lying if he said he’d been expecting Lin to gasp dramatically.

“Oh my god, pretty boy! Don’t do that! Don’t you know that this is the first place robbers look into?”

“What?” Jon croaked, visibly paling, a feat in itself really, at least compared to how tan he used to be when he worked on the farm with his dad.

“Oh, you sweet, sweet innocent little boy. I’ll go get it and when you get back, I’ll show you where to hide it properly, okay?” Lin didn’t say it, but his idea of a proper hiding spot for Jon’s spare key definitely was on his very own keyring.

It had never crossed Jon’s mind that maybe this hadn’t been the safest spot for his emergency key. Hadn’t considered the fact that Ronks was a much safer place than Manhattan could ever be. He couldn’t remember if his parents even locked the doors at night and he was fairly certain their own spare key had never had another hiding spot than underneath that decorative rock down the porch stairs. He wasn’t entirely sure he’d ever actually even used it at all, now that he gave it some thought.

“Pretty boy?” Lin asked and Jon had the distinct feeling that Lin had been waiting for an answer to another question.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“I asked you where you bury the key in the pot,” Lin repeated.

“I… just leave it under the pot, between the pot and the little plate underneath it… That suddenly sounds like a terrible idea, now that I say it out loud after your comment. I’m sorry.”

“Manhattan isn’t Ronks, my love. Don’t do that anymore unless you want me to have a heart attack, okay?”

“I promise. We’ll find somewhere else for it when I come back, I like that. I don’t think I can handle you dying of a heart attack, especially not if it’s my fault, and I don’t want to think about that happening, so in the meantime just take that key for yourself.” Jon let out, relieved that Lin didn’t seem too mad at him for being this careless. They fell quiet for a quick second, just reveling in the easy connection they had to each other.

“Can I ask something?”

“You can always ask, Lin. What is it?”

“How would you feel if I went over and slept... at your place?” He’d initially thought of saying ‘in your bed,’ but somehow that felt very intimate and he wasn’t sure of Jon’s mood, didn’t want to scare him away.

“There’s nothing in my fridge and you haven’t been home for a week, why would you want to do that?” Jon asked, slightly incredulous.

“Huh, because it’s your place, and it smells like you, and I want to wrap myself in your blankets?” Lin replied, deadpan.

“But, lovebird, I haven’t been home since the 9th, that’s so long ago,” he repeated. “At this point, your own bed probably smells more like me than mine does, since that’s where we slept last night.”

“But I don’t want to be in my bed without you, so at least if I’m in yours, I can pretend that you didn’t have to go an entire state away.”

“You’re a grown man, Lin. You can sleep at my place if it makes you feel better,” Jon said with a fond smile.

“Thank you, pretty boy. Hey, can I say something?” He filed the thought of sleeping at Jon’s away.

“Again, you don’t have to ask. Go on.”

“You sound like you’re doing better than this morning. I’m glad you do. I never want you to be sad.”

Jon looked out the window and took a deep breath.

“If I’m honest with you, I can’t figure out if it’s all an act or if I really do feel better,” he admitted quietly. “But I’m glad I’m here. I haven’t been home in a while and… it feels good. No food to cook or traffic jams, I don’t have to worry about that, here. The only real worry I have is making sure the gate’s closed properly so the goats don’t run away. Or the horses. I don’t know if anything can really make me feel _better_ right now, but if anything, being here is easy. I only wish you could be here too.”

“I wish I was there with you, too. Will you take me someday, soon?”

Jon huffed a small laugh, a smile stretching his lips.

“Whenever you want, love.”

Lin groaned. “That’s something you definitely should have said _before_ we left my apartment this morning.”

“Jonathan, honey?” He heard his mother’s voice coming from the kitchen. Jon sighed and his fingers curled around the end of Lin’s scarf, wishing it would somehow materialize its rightful owner there.

“Be out in a minute!” Jon called out after he’d moved the phone away from his mouth so he wouldn’t shout in Lin’s ears. “I… I have to go,” he sadly told Lin.

“Yeah… I got that…” Lin replied just as quietly. “Call me when you decide when you’ll be back, please? Just so I can start the countdown?”

“I will, lovebird, I promise.”

“You better make good of _that_ promise. Your score isn’t so great yet,” Lin teased but it fell just a little short due to the sadness in his voice. But Jon huffed a small laugh nonetheless.

“If I promise I will and I go through with it, does that give me double the points?”

Lin chuckled. “Dork.”

“You love me.”

“Yes, and so do you. Say it? Please?”

“I love you, Lin. I do. I gotta go but I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. And Jon?”

Jon hummed in response.

“I love you, too. Call me if you need anything. I’ll be in the next train if you need me to.”

“I know, lovebird, I know. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Alright, pretty boy. Say hi to your mom for me.”

“Will do. Have a good afternoon. Love you.”

Jon pulled the phone away from his ear and hung up, just long enough to hear Lin’s distant voice replying that he loved him too. There was a giddiness coursing through his veins every time he heard Lin say those words to him and Jon sincerely hoped that feeling would never go away, even when they were going to be old and crinkly.

His throat tightened up at the idea and there it was again. The same apprehension, the same fear, that maybe he wouldn’t get that with Lin. He refused to engage and made his way back to the kitchen, although he could swear his knees were much shakier than they had been since he’d sat down in the train. He forced himself to smile at his mother after he’d put the phone down on its charging station.

“Sorry about that,” he apologized. He noticed that his father had left the room, probably to go back to work.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, my love. That was Lin, wasn’t it?” Jon nodded. “How is he?” Julie asked with a smile.

“He’s fine. He says hello,” he replied, shortly.

Julie raised an eyebrow at her son’s tone and he looked away, immediately feeling guilty.

“He was a bit mad because I climbed aboard the train just after telling him that I loved him for the first time and didn’t give him time to process it. He’s been going a little stir crazy between then and now, but it’s all good now.”

Julie’s eyes widened, but she quickly tried to hide away her surprise. She knew her son wasn't one to share his feelings overtly much, she knew he would always rather take things slow. This was the complete opposite of taking things slow – it must really be something special, whatever there was between her son and Lin. Her motherly instincts were telling her that Jon knew just how much of an exceptional occurrence this was, but she wasn’t willing to bet that Lin knew that about Jon, or himself, just yet.

“Can I see him? Did you think about bringing your old mother a picture?”

Jon gave a short laugh and moved to press a kiss to his mother’s cheek.

“Funny, I asked for one because I _knew_ you’d want to see him. Let me get it, I left it on my bed.”

Jon promptly left to get the book and noticed for the first time, as it lay on his quilt, what the book actually was: Hamlet. An old, worn out, very much used copy of Hamlet. He almost chuckled in disbelief at the choice – of course, Lin was a Shakespeare nerd, he knew that. He shouldn't be surprised, not after all the Shakespeare references they'd made in Vegas just earlier that week. He shook his head and went back to the kitchen, taking the picture out for his mother. He had to be honest, Lin had given him an adorable picture of himself, and Jon felt his heart skip a beat when he thought about how lucky he was to be with him.

“Here you go, Ma,” he said as he handed her the picture.

Julie looked at the man on the picture and smiled. Jon vaguely wondered if it was possible not to smile when one was looking at this photograph of Lin. He doubted it. He knew he never could.

“He seems really genuine, Jonathan. He looks like he’s going to be good for you. That's a beautiful photograph. Can I ask, how old is he? He seems a bit older than you are.”

“He's only 26, mom, there's not that big of a difference between us.”

“Does that bother you?” Julie asked.

“No, not really. I always thought maybe it would be noticeable if I ever dated someone older than me, five years seemed a big difference, but everything just flows naturally between us. I don’t think it'll have any kind of impact on us. He’s an eternal child at heart and I’ve always been too serious for my age, so we balance each other out, somewhere in the middle. I'm much more bothered by the idea of not getting enough time with him than by our age difference,” he admitted.

Julie took a deep breath and finally sat down in the chair next to Jon’s resting her hand on his knee and trying to catch his gaze.

“My love, talk to me. What do you know so far? What can we do to help? You know we'd do anything for you, Jonathan. As long as we're alive, you're never on your own.”

“I don’t… I don't have much information just yet. I have a follow-up appointment in a few days, the doctors should have more information then. Lin’s gonna come with me. We don't know yet how serious it all is. I feel fine, I’m not in pain or anything, I don’t feel tired, but I don't know if that’s anything to go by. I just wanted to see you all again…” his voice broke. He looked up to his mom, holding tears back, “in case it doesn't go well, I wanted to come at least once while I still can.”

“Would you like me to come back to New York with you? I’m sure your father can handle running this farm on his own for a few days. I haven't seen your new apartment yet, maybe we could kill two birds with one stone? And I could meet this man you married.” She didn't say how she couldn't believe that she missed her youngest child’s wedding.

“I think, for now… I think I’d rather be alone with Lin when I go back. But I’ll let you know right away,” he added when he saw a hint of sadness show in his mother’s eyes. “I’ll keep you and Pa up to date, I promise. You could come visit when we open the show, to give you something to see while you're in New York?” Jon offered instead.

“That sounds like it would be a good idea. I’m so proud of you, we both are. I think you're gonna do so great on Broadway, honey.” Jon smiled at her. “So, tell me about Lin. I want to hear everything. I can tell he’s very special to you.”

“He is.” Jon couldn't stop himself from grinning wide, a perfect contrast to how distressed he'd been just earlier. He couldn’t help it. “I don’t… I don’t even know how it happened, in all honesty. We just… found ourselves at the right place at the right time, I guess. Considering we’re both working around Broadway, it’s funny that we had to go to Las Vegas to be in the right place. Oh! Did I tell you he’s a writer and a composer? He’s been working on this musical with his best friend for ten years and they’re going Off-Broadway in the near future. Is it weird that I’m ridiculously proud of him for that? Like, I have no part in the making of it whatsoever, but I’m so proud and I’m so happy for him. And I don’t even know what it’s about,” Jon laughed quietly to himself. “Well, other than the fact that apparently his character gets a bottle of cold champagne from his love interest and he can’t open it. That’s pretty much all I know so far. But yeah, that’s why he was in Vegas, since it just got picked up. And then, I don’t know, we met? It seems a bit too good to be true, but it just feels… so right, mom. Like I’ve just found everything I was ever looking for, and I didn’t even know I was looking for it. And I know it’s all happening so fast, I mean, we didn’t know each other a week ago. But I feel like I’ve known him all my life. Does that make sense?”

Julie looked fondly at her son before she glanced out the kitchen window, spotting her own husband farther down their land. Her smile grew more amorous before she turned back to her son.

“I’d say it does, yes.”

Jon followed his mother’s gaze and laughed at her response.

“Come on, Ma. You guys have actually known each other all of your lives!”

“Exactly. If anyone here can tell you they understand that feeling, it’s your father and myself.”

Jon pondered that for a minute. “Yeah, I guess I can see that. At the same time, though, everything feels so new. You, out of everyone, should know how protective I get of my own feelings. And it’s like Lin came in, and without me noticing, just broke down every single wall around me, and he did it so smoothly, it never occurred to me to stop him or slow him down. I’m not even sure he realized what he was doing to me. But he’s here now, and there’s nothing I can do about it. There’s nothing I _want_ to do about it. I’m as surprised as you are, mom. But at the same time, you know, I think part of it is Lin, it’s him, but it’s also not knowing if I can take my time anymore, so I’m going to do everything I can to make sure I don’t regret any of it. And I guess if that means staying married to this stranger who gets me more than anyone else… so be it.”

Julie observed her son for a moment, making him shuffle awkwardly in his seat at her intensity. He never liked when she did that to him. She stood up wordlessly and walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, still holding Lin’s photo in her hand.

“Ma?” Jon called after her, confused. He got up with his mug and followed her when he didn’t get an answer, taking a sip of his tea..

He walked into the living room just in time to see her stand in front of the chimney, looking intently at all the picture frames on the mantel.

“Mom?” Jon tried again, with the same result.

She turned around and went to a small cabinet, pulling out a little box with a few extra picture frames in it. She took out whichever one that seemed like it would fit Lin’s picture best and carefully placed it in before she got back up and placed the frame right next to Jon’s graduation picture. Jon looked at her with astonishment etched into his features. He wasn’t expecting his mother to steal his picture of Lin but his heart felt so full about having Lin on the family mantelpiece that he would never dare take it off or bring it back home with himself.

“There,” she said proudly as Jon gaped at her and blinked several times before he could even remember how to speak.

He could feel the lump in his throat again, but it had nothing to do with fear or sadness anymore. He was just so, so thankful. He started wondering, vaguely, if his feelings were ever going to go back to normal, instead of constantly being on both extremes in a never-ending rollercoaster.

“Ma, I don’t know what to say,” he let out in one shaky breath.

“You don’t have to say anything, my love. Lin is part of your life, he’s part of the family. After all, didn’t he already start using our name?” She added with a wink that had Jon blush all the way down his neck to his chest.

“I think he likes to know he belongs somewhere,” he admitted and his mother hummed in reply.

“Don’t we all?” Julie asked wisely

Jon took a sip, humming lightly. He’d missed this easy connection he’d always had with her.

“Did you have any plans for today? Anything you want to do, anyone you want to see?”

“I think I just wanted to get back into this routine. New York is fun, I love it, it’s amazing, but it’s restless. I missed this. I’m always going to be at home, here, no matter how far away I move.”

“Do you want to help me make dinner, or maybe go help your father with the horses?”

“I like cooking. Maybe we can make enough for me to bring back some food for Lin?”

Julie laughed. “Tell you what, it’s still early, why don’t you go see the goats before it’s dinnertime, hm? Sutton gave birth last week and we haven’t named the baby yet since she’s always been your goat. Wanna help us out?”

“Sure, I'll take care of it. Thanks, Ma,” he said, kissing her on the cheek again. She took his mug from him and Jon went to retrieve his coat and shoes before he headed back to the kitchen, walking out the back door and past the low gate.

He was careful not to move too fast around the goats, regardless of how happy he was to see them all again. He didn’t want them to faint, it was always a chain reaction as soon as one of them did. He crossed the small field to the saddles and found a blanket that he used to drape across some hay blocks in the barn. He went back out to find Sutton and her kid, picked up the nameless baby and managed to get Sutton to follow him inside the barn. The newborn fell asleep almost instantly in his arms and he couldn’t help but smile fondly at him.

“What am I going to name you, huh? You look so much like your mama. Sutton, what do you think?” He rambled out loud as he cuddled the baby, looking at Sutton the whole time. She bleated in response and Jon laughed quietly. “Let’s see… I named your mama after Sutton Foster because I look up to her,” he told the sleeping baby goat. “Do you think I should name your little baby boy after someone I look up to as well?” Jon asked Sutton and she bleated again. “I thought so, too. Hmmm. Broadway produced its fair share of great role models, I could go for something obvious, like Fred Astaire, George Gershwin or Gene Kelly.” He hummed in thoughts, gently stroking the baby’s head, right between its ears. “No. You know what? I think I know just who’s name I should give you.” Jon looked up to Sutton and smiled. “What do you think of naming him Lin-Manuel Miranda Goat, uh? Lin for short.” The baby goat twitched on his lap, making Sutton bleat a third time. “I’m going to take that as a yes,” Jon said, his eyes crinkling with laughter. He picked the baby up and hugged him, burying his nose in the soft fur of his head. “Welcome to the family, Lin,” Jon said quietly. He couldn’t tell if it was only addressed to the goat or if it was also directed to his namesake, despite him still being in New York.

He stayed with Lin and Sutton in the barn for a while, petting both animals at the same time, until Lin woke up from his nap and practically bounced off of Jon’s lap, running around and bleating happily. Jon shook his head with a fond smile before he slid open the barn door to let them out. He cleaned up after himself before he followed, going in search for his dad to help him out.

He stayed out with his dad for an hour or two, their easy silence enveloping them the way it always had. They worked around the field some, took care of the animals, prepped some of the stalls for the winter that was quickly settling. When the sun set too low for them to work, Jon went back inside and started helping his mother with dinner – he was absolutely frozen by that time anyway, despite Lin's scarf still being snugly wrapped around his neck, so he could deal with the comfortable warmth emanating from the oven. He was assailed by the flavourful fragrances produced by the meal his mother was preparing, and he would have been lying if he said he didn't miss her cooking.

“This smells so good, Ma. What is it?”

“Homemade tomato sauce, with lots of vegetables. Your favourite, if your old mother remembers correctly.”

“Ma, you're not old. You're right, it is my favourite. Do you need help? What can I do?”

“You sit there and relax. I’m not having my boy home for the first time in months just to have him do chores for me.”

“Cooking is never a chore, especially not with you, you know that. Besides, you just sent me to freeze off outside to help Pa with the chores?”

“You know what I mean, Jonathan,” she added playfully, turning around and pointing a spoon in his direction with an accusatory wink. He had a point.

They kept chatting with an easy banter, Jim soon joining them. It was nice to be reunited, the three of them. They eventually relocated to the living room, settling in the couches for the evening, catching up on everything that had happened since Jon had last seen them, since he'd moved to New York. Jon eventually excused himself early in the evening − he was in need of a shower, especially after the exertion of the afternoon and all the travelling. He grabbed himself a few towels from the cabinet next to the bathroom and turned the knobs until he was satisfied with the heat coming down from the shower head. He blanked his mind out, massaged his scalp with fruity shampoo before he let the hot water work at the knots in his muscles, only coming out when every kink had bled out of his body. Once he got out, he took the time to shave, sighing in relief when he finally got rid of the stubbles that was slowly but surely turning into a beard. And Jon knew he _couldn’t_ make that look work for him. At all.

He went back to his room to dry off properly and find a fresh pair of underwear to sleep in. He was ready for a good night’s sleep. He was exhausted, hadn't slept well in weeks, especially not with how busy and emotional the past few days had been. He missed Lin, had somehow already gotten used to him being by his side at all times, and had to readjust. On his way to his room, he grabbed the wireless phone that was still sitting on its dock, fully charged, grabbed the book that was still on the kitchen table and curled up in his bed before he called Lin.

“Miranda.” Jon was almost taken aback, until he realized that Lin probably didn't know it was him calling.

“Lin? It's me. It's Jon.”

“Pretty boy!” The business tone disappeared at once. “How was your day? How are your parents? How’s Ronks? What did you do? You didn’t find a new boyfriend, did you? Or a girlfriend? I hope not.” And there it was, the highway speed of Lin’s brain, not letting Jon answer anything.

“It was good. They're doing well, they look relaxed, they're happy. Ronks is cold. So cold. I helped my dad in the fields and with the farm, and then my mom made the greatest dinner, and here I am. And no, Lin, I didn’t find anyone. Why would I even want to do that when I’ve already got you?” A thought made its way through Jon’s tired brain. “Also, don't you know who’s calling you when they're calling?”

“I do, why? It shows up on my phone,” he said, the end of his sentence going up in pitch as if he'd been asking a question.

“Then how did you not know I was the one calling?”

“I didn't think about checking. I haven't had someone this important call me in a while, and I generally just flip it open before I check. Sorry?”

“No, it’s okay. I was curious, that’s all.”

“Why do I sense sadness, all of a sudden?”

“I thought you would have picked up with ‘Miranda-Groff’, since you like our names so much. I was taken aback when you left it at yours.”

"My love, sweetheart, I thought we agreed on just letting our friends and family know, since our marriage is technically not legal?"

Jon pondered that for a minute. Lin wasn't wrong. Picking up with ‘Miranda-Groff’ would defeat the whole purpose of their decision to keep it between their families and close friends. He sighed and wrapped his blankets tighter around himself.

“No, you’re right, I’m sorry. I’ve just had a long day. I miss you.”

“But hey, pretty boy?” Lin asked before he could finish his thoughts. Jon hummed to prompt him. “Lin-Manuel Miranda-Groff here, how may I be of service?”

Jon could hear the obvious grin in Lin’s voice and he was pretty sure Lin would have winked at him, had they been in the same room.

“You dork,” he said, laughing. “I have something to tell you that I think you’re gonna like.”

“Oh? What is it?”

“One of my goats, Sutton, she had a baby last week. And since Sutton’s mine, my parents let me name him.”

“You have a _goat_ named Sutton. You _have_ a goat that belongs to you − that’s already something I never thought I’d hear in my life. And on top of that, you named her _Sutton_. Of course you did,” Lin said with a smirk that Jon could hear all the way in rural Pennsylvania.

“Well, yes. Lin, you knew I grew up on a farm, you can hardly be surprised that we have goats and that one of them is mine. As for the Sutton thing, I already told you I was in love with Sutton Foster, so you don’t get to be surprised at that either.”

As much as Lin enjoyed thinking about a younger version of Jon thinking up names for a new goat and settling for his Broadway idol, he kind of failed to see why he should love that piece of information as much as Jon seemed to think he would. “Is that what you wanted to tell me?”

“What? Oh, no, not at all. So I get to name the baby, right? And I figured, if I named my first own goat Sutton because I loved Sutton Foster, I figured I might as well name her kid with the name of someone else I loved.” He paused to try and hear Lin’s reaction, see if he’d caught on already. When he didn’t reply, Jon went on. “I named him Lin. Well, actually, I named him your full name, so now I also have a goat named Lin-Manuel Miranda Goat.” He beamed in the dim light of his room.

“Jon. That poor goat, oh my.” Lin chuckled in the receiver. “That poor goat. Don’t you think my name’s enough of a mouthful as it is? Poor little LMMGoat.”

“I mean, you may be a mouthful yourself, but I don’t really… You don’t like it, do you?” Jon asked and he sounded so crestfallen that Lin really wanted to punch himself in the face. _Way to hurt your husband’s feelings, you jackass,_ Lin’s brain supplied for him. “I can still change it, I suppose. The poor thing hasn’t had a name for a week, changing the one he’s got after a few hours shouldn’t confuse him too much…”

“No! No, don’t change anything. I absolutely love it. I’m honoured. I may not have a Sunset Boulevard star to my name yet, but my husband named his newborn goat after me, my life is complete. I love it.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to say that just to protect my feelings.”

“I am. I can’t wait to meet him. We can share the stories of our name. And like, he can tell me about the other baby goats teasing him and I’ll teach him all the good witty replies so that no one ever makes fun of him. My little man. Goat. Thing. We get each other already.”

Jon’s heart broke a little as he thought of Lin being teased on the playground as a kid, but he could tell Lin wasn’t in a mood to get sad or nostalgic.

“Don’t get too excited to meet him now, though. You don’t want him to faint on you, do you?” Jon asked cheerfully.

“Faint? Why would he faint? It takes way more than playground bullies to have a Miranda faint. I’m sure that’s true for goats too.”

“Lin, no, they’re fainting goats. They fall over when they get too excited and then they can’t move for a while. Or when they get scared, too. Just whenever they’re overwhelmed, I guess, and it really doesn’t take much to overwhelm them, so they fall over all the time.”

"Oh, my poor son. He really needs better defence mechanisms," Lin said, shaking his head before he realized just what his mouth had came up with. One more of these glorious foot in mouth moment for one Lin-Manuel Miranda-Groff, sir!

“Oh, he’s your son now? You have a son with Sutton Foster and didn’t even tell me? I can’t believe this. Is there anything else I should know?”

“No, no. Obviously she was our surrogate, he’s _our_ son,” Lin tried, which only made Jon laugh.

“You’re insane. There’s no other explanation,” he teased lightly.

“Maybe, but you love me just like that.”

“Hmm, that I do, you’re right.”

The mood settled somewhat after this, and they stayed silent for a minute or two, comforted by how easy it was to be on the phone with each other.

“And you? How was your day? What did you do while I was busy freezing my buns off with my baby goat?”

“First off, please don’t freeze your ass off. That would be the greatest tragedy since Hamlet.” Lin didn’t let himself think of what he would have done to warm his husband’s buttcheeks back up if he’d followed him to Ronks. “And well, you know, after you left me stranded like an idiot on the train platform, I went home and called Lac. Apparently your original flight came in at like 4 AM New York time, so he didn’t get to sleep until 5 or 6. So even though I called him at lunch time, I apparently woke him up. I’ll spare you the details, but I vaguely got threatened with murder, again, so that was fun. We have a meeting tomorrow, so if I never talk to you again, you know why. I’ll make sure to leave a letter that explains how much I love you behind, and how everything I own should be given to you, including the rights to my music, because Lac doesn’t deserve those if he kills me. I’ll get a piece of paper that says ‘Alex Lacamoire did it’ in my pockets somewhere, too. Just in case.”

“I’ll make sure to tell the police. And I’ll tell them I was in Pennsylvania so they’ll know it wasn’t me. I’ll keep my boarding pass to backup my alibi. What do you think about me coming back on Sunday night, around dinnertime?”

Lin groaned.

“I think I can handle that, even if I already miss you a lot. But you do what you gotta do, I can’t take that away from you. May I ask that you reconsider letting me sleep at your place then?”

Jon gave a soft laugh, entirely confused. “What? I told you that you could if you wanted to. Are you saying you’re at _your own_ place right now?”

Lin paused and Jon could just picture him gaping at whatever was in front of him.

“I… Yes. Damn it.”

“Now, I’m _impressed_ ,” Jon teased. “I thought you’d be in the first train to my apartment.”

“My sister called after I hung up with you and she had me running errands all over Manhattan and it completely left my mind. I only remembered you telling me you had no food and that it wouldn’t smell like you and for some reason my brain coded that as a ‘no’,” Lin explained as he scrambled out of his own bed – Jon could hear ruffling and could only guess that Lin was putting an overnight bag together as they spoke.

Jon tried to muffle the sound of his yawn into his pillow, but he wasn’t quite sure it worked.

“Do you just want to go to bed, pretty thing?” Lin asked when he noticed.

“No.” Jon replied categorically, in a way that was almost childish. “I don’t wanna hang up. I miss you. Stay with me?”

“Of course, honeybunches, I can do that.”

“Okay. Thank you,” Jon replied in a more relaxed tone now that the threat of Lin hanging up had passed.

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m not that selfless. I don’t want to go either.” Lin sat back down on his bed, refusing to risk losing the call by going through the subway. Walking wasn’t an option and he wasn’t rude enough to be on the phone throughout an entire cab ride. “What do you wanna talk about, then?”

“You? I feel like you know so much about me and I know nothing about you. I don't even know what your show’s about.”

“I don't know what yours is about either,” Lin pointed out.

“Yeah, but I didn’t write it. It’s not nearly as impressive.”

“Do I have to remind you that you're originating the lead on Broadway at _twenty-one_?!”

“No, I know that. Obviously. But that’s my point. You can come see me do it in a very short while. Can you tell me about _In the Heights_ , please?”

“How could I ever refuse you anything, pretty boy?” Lin breathed out quietly, running a hand through his hair. “Alright, alright. Are you settled in comfortably?”

“I am.”

And so, Lin started to tell Jon what _In The Heights_ was about. He tried not to get into the details too much, hoping to keep some of the storylines and punchlines as a surprise for his husband. He avoided singing his favourite lines, carefully kept his mouth shut on Abuela Claudia’s passing and refused to let Jon in on Usnavi’s decision of staying in Washington Heights and not get on his flight to the Dominican Republic. But, the more he talked, the more Lin could tell that his husband was fighting a losing battle against sleep, so he wrapped it up as quickly as he could.

“It sounds nice,” Jon mumbled sleepily. “Will you keep me a seat in the first row for opening night? In the center?”

Lin huffed a laugh through his nose.

“As if I’d want anyone else’s in that spot, beautiful. You should really go to sleep, Jon,” he said, glancing at the backpack he had abandoned earlier.

“No,” Jon repeated. “Keep talking to me.”

Lin did. He talked about everything that came to his mind, jumping from one subject to another without so much as a warning, or an explanation for Jon’s benefit. He rapped about being thirsty and getting a glass of water to which Jon somehow mustered enough energy to chuckle at, despite it being absolutely terrible. Or maybe that was the reason why Jon was laughing. Eventually, Lin decided to lay back down in his bed, if only because he’d be more comfortable that way. He kept talking until he knew for sure that Jon was asleep − he dropped some general knowledge about Sutton Foster and didn’t get so much as a huff in response, so he figured it was safe to hang up on Jon and get on the train to his apartment.

Jon woke up a few hours later just to find out that the small lamp on his bedside table was still on, and the phone had fallen to the rug next to his bed, the battery completely drained. He didn’t remember falling asleep. He cursed himself for crashing while being on the phone with Lin, even though he knew that there was very little he could have done about it. He reluctantly pushed himself to get out of bed and go to the bathroom. As he passed by the living room on his way back, he saw with absurd clarity the way that the moon shined its light on the frame of Lin’s photograph on the mantelpiece and quickly dipped in the room to retrieve the frame. He placed it delicately on his bedside table to wake up to it in the morning, then got back under the safety of his blankets.

When Jon woke up, the Saturday morning sun was shining bright and high in the sky, the way only November could be this crisp. He got himself dressed quickly and followed the smell of breakfast to find his mother in the kitchen, already busying herself for the day with a nice stack of pancakes on the counter next to her.

“Jonathan, sweetheart! Good morning. How did you sleep? Missed your old bed?”

“Hey, Ma. Yeah, I slept really well. Better than I have in a long time, in all honesty. How are you? Where’s dad?”

“Oh, he just went to the city, he needed some supplies for the farm. He shouldn’t be out too long, honey.”

They ate in an easy silence, just glad to be in each other’s company again. Jon knew he was lucky to have such a good relationship with his mother, he did. He knew it could have gone in a much different direction. He just had to look around his family, around his community, to see how bad it could have been.

“I’m so sorry, mom,” Jon said quietly as he clutched his mug of coffee to his chest.

Julie looked up to him in surprise, confusion painting every feature of her beautiful and kind face.

“What are you apologizing for, honey?”

“Just…” Jon sighed. “Everything. For every heartbreak I’ve been putting you and dad through these past few years. For alienating you from everyone around here. For moving away without a real plan. For marrying someone without you being there. For this… This shitshow, pardon my French, my life is turning into…”

“No.” Julie interrupted him. “Apologies completely and utterly refused. You listen to me carefully, Jonathan Drew Groff. We are proud of you. We love you. We’ve always said that we would support everything and anything you and David decided to do, except maybe for that awful smoking habit your brother took upon, but that’s beside the point. We will hold up to that promise. I’ll honour that promise if that’s the last thing I get to do in my life. As for marrying Lin? Sweetheart, if he’s making you happy, and I can tell he is, don’t you ever dare apologizing for what you two have. Not to me, not to anyone on this planet. Love is a gift to be cherished, darling, never forget that. And I can’t wait to meet him.” She smiled at him the way only mothers could, and it made him feel better and worse at the same time.

Better because, he knew all that, he knew she’d always be there. Worse because she’d sacrificed so much for him, and he didn’t think he could ever repay her, or even come close to. He got up and hugged her, held her close against his heart. Words seemed to fail him so often, lately. When they broke apart, he looked into her eyes and sighed slowly.

“Thank you. For everything. I don’t know if I ever told you that, but I should have, a long time ago.”

“You are so very welcome, angel.”

They finished their breakfast in a comfortable silence this time around. It was easy to just be home and pretend like it was all gonna be fine. He could believe it. Maybe it was going to be. Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice right away when she tried to catch his attention by waving her hand slightly.

“Jonathan? Are you still with me, or are you visiting one of those worlds you’ve always built for yourself?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, sorry. What is it?”

“Do you and Lin have any plans for Thanksgiving? I know you’re here now and you just went on vacation, so I don’t know if you’ll be free on Thursday or next weekend, but you two could come around.”

“I don’t know, actually, Ma. I can call him… do we still have another phone?” He blushed. “I might have fallen asleep on the phone last night and it’s dead now.”

She laughed, shaking her head. “There’s still the one in your father’s den.”

As if on cue, Jim stumbled in the kitchen at that time, arms full with supplies.

“Oh, hi, Jonathan! How did you sleep?” He asked as he carefully settled everything in a corner.

“I’ve already been asked, I’ve slept well, thank you. It’s pretty hard not to be satisfied when I wake up to a pile of homemade pancakes, though. Oh, Pa, can I use your phone? Would you mind getting it while you’re still dressed up?”

“The one from the workshop? What happened to the wireless?” Jim asked as his eyes darted over to the empty charging dock.

Jon blushed before he answered. “I fell asleep on the phone last night so I drained the battery completely. I just woke up, so it’s still in my room…”

“Did you now? Keep an eye on him, Jules. If we don’t, he’s going to run down every single phone in Ronks talking to that Mr. Miranda-Groff of his.” Jon rolled his eyes at him. “Sure, I’ll go get it, just don’t forget to recharge the other one. Oh, by the way, darling, are we still up for dinner with David tonight?”

Jon huffed in response to the teasing and Julie looked at him quickly before she explained.

"I completely forgot to tell you, but we had planned to have dinner with David tonight. We're probably going to go out in Lancaster, is that alright with you?"

“Oh, okay, yeah. Could we stay here, though? I still want to cook with you, and restaurants get overrated really quickly when you live in Manhattan and work on Broadway.”

“Look at my little boy, all grown up now, Broadway actor. Sure, let’s just tell David when he gets here, then. Since apparently all of our phones are running out of juice by the second,” Julie teased.

“You are terrible. The both of you! If that’s how you’re taking it, I’m going to go call my husband! With a bit of luck, _he_ ’ll be happy to talk to me!” Jon shot back, sticking his tongue out playfully at his parents and making his way to his room to retrieve the dead phone. He picked up Lin’s picture from his nightstand while he was at it and brought back the two items to put them where they belonged. He made a show of putting the phone back on its charger, making Julie laugh.

“I’m gonna go check up on the beasts, don’t you two do anything I wouldn’t do while I’m gone,” Jim settled with a wink.

“So… That leaves us with pretty much everything, doesn’t it? Jonathan, honey, want to go rob the bank in Lancaster? I’ve always wanted to try my hands at being Bonnie. You can be my Clyde for the day.”

“What, mom, no, I’m clearly Bonnie here. It’s like when I played Dorothy when I decided to remake the Wizard of Oz in the barn. This isn’t gonna work if I’m supposed to be Clyde.” He paused for a second, and added, “Seriously, Ma, there’s no way anyone was surprised at me coming out when I insisted on playing Dorothy at four years old.”

“I can’t say that your dad and I were, sweetie. Surprise is not the word I would choose. We can both be Bonnies. I’m sure that whole gang would have fared a whole lot better if they had been an all-lady group rather than with that bunch of knuckleheads.” Julie settled with a bright smile.

Jim’s laugh stayed in the kitchen with them after he’d gone out the back door. Jon had sincerely missed this. Missed the easy banter and the silliness of his childhood home. He loved his apartment in New York, loved the bustling city, but he hated how cold and quiet his apartment was whenever he went home after a long day of rehearsal. His mind automatically supplied him of images of the home he could have with Lin and his heart swelled up. How did that old song go again? _And a house is not a home, when there’s no one there to hold you tight._ Yeah, sounded just about right.

“Why do you even know so much about American crime gangs anyway?” Jon asked in wonder.

“What? A woman can’t have her hobbies?”

Jon blinked slowly just as his father came back with the phone in hand.

“Pa? I’m not sure yet, but I think Ma is planning a heist. I think she’s the one we should really keep an eye on, she said she wanted to go rob a bank and she thinks she’s Bonnie Parker. That’s way more dangerous than my husband draining our phones.”

“Yet, you appear to know Miss Parker’s last name. It’s not exactly common knowledge,” Jim said, now also suspicious of his son, making Jon throw his hands up in the air.

“I give up. You two are insufferable. I’m calling Lin, he needs to come and rescue me.” And with that, he took the phone from his dad’s grip.

“A strong woman needs no man, honey!”

“Yet you clearly need Dad and I to keep you on the path of righteousness, Ma. What’s that about?” He asked rhetorically as he pressed in Lin’s number that he’d made a point of remembering. Lin picked up after a few rings and Jon could hear the remains of sleep in his tones.

“Miranda-Groff?”

“Good morning, lovebird!” Jon said cheerfully, rolling his eyes when his father started making choking noises. “You need to come and save me. They’re _both_ making dad jokes at me. Both of them!”

“Do I? Well. That’s practice for next week, I guess,” Lin mumbled.

“What?”

“What, um. We always have dinner together with my parents. On Saturdays. Every week, unless it’s like, the apocalypse. Or if we’re not in town. Then we get a free pass. So I guess that means you’re meeting my family next weekend. And I need to not forget to go tonight. Since when is today Saturday?” he groaned into Jon’s ear, and Jon’s heart broke a little at the fact that he’d stirred him awake.

“Well, about that. The reason I’m waking you up is actually because, I’d forgotten, but it’s Thanksgiving on Thursday, so Ma wanted to know if we had plans or not. If not, we could come back here on Thursday, or maybe next weekend.” He was greeted with more groans.

“Thanksgiving is this week? It’s way too early to deal with this, Jon, why?” he whined loudly. “We can’t miss Thanksgiving with my parents. Well at least I can’t. I think they care about this one more than they care about Christmas. And they care a great deal about Christmas. You’d think my dad had shop classes with Joseph and were best buds in high school. That’s how much they care. We’re gonna have family flying in from Puerto Rico, they come every year, it’s a Miranda tradition… Will you come with me?”

“One second, sleepyhead, let me check.” He covered the bottom half of the phone as he brought it down to his lap, then turned to his mom. “Lin says they always have a big family dinner on Thanksgiving, with family flying in and all. We could come back on the weekend?”

“We can definitely do that. I can’t wait to meet him, Jonathan,” she replied. He brought the receiver back to his ear.

“Lin? I can come with you on Thursday if you’ll come to Pennsylvania with me on Saturday? How does that sound?”

“Mhm,” Lin mumbled in agreement. “Come back to bed,” he pleaded, dragging his vowels much longer than strictly necessary.

“You’re already in my bed, that’s as much of me as you’ll get in New York right now. Just wrap it up around yourself and go back to sleep, you deserve it. I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay. I’ll just sleep until you get here. That’s doable, right?”

“I’m sure if anyone can do it, it’s you, Lin.”

“Okay. I love you. Don’t stay out late. I doubt Ronks could handle that.”

“I love you too, and you’re right, I don’t think it could. I’ll just stay cozy at home with my mom. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Sure thing,” he replied, already half asleep again.

Jon ended the call and noticed his mother leaning on the table with her chin resting in her hand, and looking like she’d just watched the sappiest romantic movie ever produced by Hollywood.

He helped her clear the table and clean the kitchen once they were done, then he decided to go help his father with feeding the various animals on the farm. He was frozen again before long − he really wasn’t used to being outside for extended periods of time anymore and wasn’t too sure how he’d ever done it. He could tell that the day was getting warmer and that the afternoon was going to be slightly easier to handle, but all he really wanted in that moment was a steamy bath and perhaps a bowl of his mother’s soup. He decided to do just that when he came back inside and he saw that he still had a little while before lunchtime anyways. He didn’t need the bath as much as he needed the calm and heat it would provide him. He added some salts and almond oil and would have fallen fast asleep if it weren’t for his mom calling him when lunch was ready.

After they’d eaten, Jon and Julie decided to go on a walk since the weather had indeed warmed up. Besides, now that he knew he was going to the Mirandas’ on Thursday, he felt like he had to find something for Mrs. Miranda.

“I think I have an emergency. What do you bring your mother-in-law as a hostess gift on _Thanksgiving_ when you’re meeting her for the first time? I mean, flowers obviously, but what else?” Jon asked, sounding slightly frantic. “I need a good mom opinion, and you’re a mom, last time I checked?”

Julie raised an eyebrow.

“I think I’m the mother of two beautiful grown men. _I think_. The whole ‘being at a hospital in pain for several hours’ thing vaguely rings a bell,” she teased with air-quotes, her tongue poking behind her teeth.

Jon groaned.

“Mom, I’m serious.”

“Are you, now? I don’t think I caught that, you should try again.”

“Ma!”

“Do you want me to get some of my jams in some jars for her? Everybody loves homemade jam. I’m sure the Mirandas are no different, and it’ll mean much more than a generic gift bought at the store. If you want, I can call Melany too, I think she made apricot jam this year, unlike me. So that would get you one more flavor? It’ll be the best first impression for my angel.”

“That… That actually sounds like a brilliant idea. Should we go get some cute little jars at the crafts store or something?”

“Well, I was getting ready for the Christmas gifts, so I actually have a lot at home that we can use. I can get more later if I need, but we’ll be good for Mrs. Miranda’s gift.”

They kept walking around Ronks with the same easy discussions they’d had since Jon had came home, talking about everything and anything that came to their mind. Julie brought Lin’s scarf up along with the fact that he had slept in Jon’s apartment, teasing him lightly about his new relationship and how they were already sharing everything with each other. When they approached the Groff house again, they could see that David must have gotten home while they were out − his car was parked in the driveway. Jon tried to hide his distaste, but, to appease his mind, he slowed down his pace just enough so that he could roll his eyes as heavily as he could behind his mother’s back. The least he could say about David was that whereas his parents had been the absolute most supportive since he’d come out in his teens, David… hadn’t quite followed their lead. It was always a bit of a gamble to know where they were headed every time they saw each other, and quite frankly, Jon hadn’t missed much about him since he’d left.

Julie turned around when she noticed him trailing behind and she saw his blank face. Say what you will, she could still read his emotions like he was an open book and she could tell he wasn’t thrilled.

“Everything alright, honey?” She asked him, kindly, testing the waters.

Jon forced a smile for his mother.

“Yeah, of course,” he lied and he could tell she wasn’t buying it.

“You know you can tell me what’s on your mind, Jonathan,” she insisted.

“I’m just… not really looking forward to David’s constant remarks, he’s always talking back to everything I say. To be quite honest, I was kind of hoping I wouldn’t run into him while I was here. His offhand comments are the last thing I need right now. I wanted to focus on you and dad, being home again for a few days, I want to focus on Lin and _Spring Awakening_ , all the good things in my life, because God knows I’ll need all the strength I can get in the next couple months. And he’s not exactly part of what I call positive vibes. I didn’t want to say anything earlier because you had already planned this with him and I’m the one who showed up unannounced, but yeah… I’d avoid him if I could. But he’s family, so I guess I have to make time for him too.”

“I was going to share our Thanksgiving plans with him, but would you rather I let him know that we’ll have a small dinner on Thursday with him, and that you simply won’t be in Ronks? I’m okay with having just you and Lin next weekend, if that makes you two feel more comfortable.”

On one hand, Jon hated that he even considered splitting his family’s Thanksgiving because he couldn’t handle his jackass of a brother, but on the other hand, he knew they would have a much better time if he wasn’t around, especially not the first time Lin met his family. As they got closer to the house, David’s figure became clearer on the porch, leaning on the railing, cigarette stuck between his lips. From his lack of jacket, Jon could only assume he had walked out to smoke and had been home for a while already.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t my favourite baby brother!” David said as a greeting once they stood in front of him, making Jon roll his eyes.

“It’s a good thing you don’t have that many options, then, isn’t it?”

“Don’t be so sure, Johnny Boy, I could pick a goat over you at any given moment.”

Jon huffed at the awful nickname, even though it was still better than Perdita in his opinion, and shook his head, refusing to deign that comment of a response.

“Alright, alright. Cut it out, David. And for Heaven’s sake, put on a jacket, you’ll catch your death,” Julie interrupted. Her oldest son raised his hands in surrender.

“Okay, hi, nice to see you too? Hey, Ma? Who’s the guy in the new picture on the mantelpiece? We’re sponsoring a new immigrant or something?”

Jon’s eyes widened and he dropped the wildflowers he had plucked during their walk. His brain vaguely picked on the fact that it would have been much more dramatic had it been glassware, but he couldn’t do more than gape at his brother while his mother cast a worried glance at him. The tension in the air had quickly gotten thick enough that it could have been sliced with a knife.

“Take that back,” Jon finally muttered after a few excruciatingly long seconds.

“What?” David asked in confusion.

“You take that back right now!” Jon yelled, taking a step toward his brother on the porch without even realizing it. He only registered he had moved when he felt Julie’s hand tugging him back by the arm. He shook himself free. “That’s my husband, you… you... ” he searched for the right words for a couple of seconds, finally settling on taking a leaf out of Lin’s book. “You fucking idiot!”

Julie gasped while David’s expression only grew more puzzled.

“You had to marry him to bring him here?”

“Oh my God!” Jon exclaimed, exasperated. “He’s from New York, you daft doorknob!”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you... guys... could get married, that’s why the thought didn’t even cross my mind, and last time I heard you were single?”

“We can’t, we got married in Vegas on Tuesday.”

“I… what?”

Jon ran a hand through his hair, sighing deeply.

“It’s a long story. But he’s from New York as surely as we’re from Pennsylvania, and as far as the state of Nevada is concerned, we’re married, and if you’re not okay with it you can get right back in your car and let me enjoy my time with Ma and Pa. Your call.” He gestured at the vehicle behind him to illustrate his point further. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m cold, I’m tired and I’m hungry. So, I’m going inside before anyone makes another stupid comment on my love life.”

With that, he stormed inside, away from David and the cloud of toxic smoke surrounding him. Julie followed soon afterwards and found him sitting on his bed, head in his hands, breathing hard. She sat down next to him and rubbed his back soothingly − there was not much she hated more than seeing her youngest son in throes.

“Ma, why do I let him get to me like that? Why can’t I just ignore him?”

“Maybe part of you will always be hoping for him to come around. You have a good heart, Jonathan. I know you do. And you’ve given him more than his fair share of chances. We’ll talk to him, honey. Let’s get through tonight, and when you’re back in New York, we’ll take care of this for you. I don’t want you to have to worry about him any more than necessary. We’ll make this easier for you, I promise.” Jon groaned in his hands, but nodded nonetheless.

“Thank you, Ma. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, my love. Want to go and prepare the jams for your mother-in-law?”

He finally looked up, the sunlight catching the flecks of blue in his eyes, and let out the breath he’d been holding. “Let’s do it.”

They spent the rest of the afternoon in the sunlit kitchen, Julie asking Jon about Lin, about their vacation in Vegas, about their wedding, about the musicals. David and Jim mostly stayed in the living room, dipped out at some point to go feed the animals on the farm. Melany brought over some of her apricot jam and everyone settled on staying home that evening rather than going out to a restaurant in Lancaster as was originally planned, satisfied with their choice after Jon insisted Melany stayed for dinner as well. All three worked around the kitchen, deciding on preparing caprese and tomato chicken for dinner, with a side of rice pilaf, ensuring that they would have enough leftovers for Jon to bring back to Lin the following day. If there was something more comforting than that on a cold November evening, Jon didn’t know about it.

When Jim and David joined them at the table, Jon was deep in the retelling of one of the shenanigans Lea, his co-star on _Spring Awakening_ , had pulled him into.

“Couldn’t you have married her instead?” David asked and, before Jon could even turn to glare at him, Melany had smacked him upside the head.

“Your parents did not raise you to be like this, young man,” she admonished and Jon couldn’t help the satisfied grin that stretched his lips.

He went back to telling the story of how he ended up belting out Barbra Streisand songs in the middle of Central Park with Lea, laughing at how ridiculous they must have looked. But to Hell if it hadn’t been everything he had ever dreamed of.

Eventually, the conversation moved onto planning a trip to New York so that Jim, Julie and David could come see the play, early into its run. Melany was welcome to join in, but she decided against for now, saying they needed to celebrate Jon’s triumph between family, the pointed glare she sent at David as she said it almost made Jon snicker, but that she would make sure to come up to see it before long.

“You guys could take my apartment, I’m sure Lin won’t mind me staying at his place for that weekend. No need to spend money on hotels when we’ve got all we need already. Sorry David, it means you get the couch, though,” he said with a fake smile to his brother.

“You know what, I’m okay with that. Not sure I would want to sleep in that bed anyways,” he shot back, in that immediate way that told everyone he hadn’t thought that one through.

Jon looked at his brother, wearing a fake air of innocence and trying his best not to lose his cool this… easily.

“Why, what’s wrong with my bed? It’s an amazing bed.”

“Amazingly filthy is probably more accurate.”

“Tell me, how so?” Jon shot at his brother. He could feel anger starting to boil in his veins and he had a feeling this was not going to end well − all thoughts of keeping it civil down the drain.

“Oh, please. Haven’t you guys consummated your marriage yet?” David asked, sarcasm thick in his voice.

“Not in my bed, no. Not yet, at least. Want me to keep you updated on every place we defile?” Jon spat at David.

“Guys!” Julie and Jim both shot back while Melany blushed, uneasy.

“This is it. I’ve had enough, from the both of you. David, if you’re this keen on ruining everything for your brother, why don’t you just go home? I’m sure you remember where the door is. I’ll have none of this behaviour under my roof, and from my own son at that,” Jim thundered.

“If you’ll excuse me,” Jon said quietly and got up, grabbing the wireless phone on his way out. He grabbed his jacket and Lin’s scarf with no ceremony and slammed the door behind himself. He couldn’t decide if he felt anger or sadness most, but either way, he felt overwhelmed, his whole body trembling. He needed to call Lin to help him regain even the tiniest bit of control over his high-flying emotions.

He sat down heavily on the porch swing by the window, unable to keep his leg still while he dialed Lin’s number. He was restless.

“The prettiest boy on Earth’s husband,” Lin answered with a smile, and Jon unexpectedly started crying when he heard him. “Jon? Hey… What’s going on? Talk to me,” he said softly, all traces of teasing completely gone from his voice in a heartbeat.

“I’m going to kill him,” he let out, vexation colouring his words.

“Who are we killing now?” Lin inquired.

“Your brother-in-law,” he replied. Jon heard yelling coming from inside the house and he peered in through the window over his shoulder out of habit before he resolutely turned around again, staring at the road he could barely make out ahead of him in the dark.

“Uh, fratricide? Very Claudius of you. That doesn’t make me Gertrude, does it? What did King Hamlet do to deserve this untimely demise?”

“Please don’t joke about this? I really can’t deal with him anymore. He’s awful. I hate him. And you’re not the Queen of Denmark.” More yells from the kitchen. Jon sighed. “He just keeps making comments about me. About us,” he rectified.

And oh, that would not fly with Lin. “He did not.”

“Did. In front of a long time family friend too, I’d invited her to stay for dinner. They’re fighting right now. My mom and dad, and Melany. I left, I’m outside. I couldn’t handle it.”

With that, Jon heard the door open to his left and looked up to find David striding toward him.

“Lin? Give us a second. David’s here, I’m putting you on hold. You don’t need to hear his bullshit,” and Jon pulled the receiver away from his ear before Lin could protest. In his haste, Jon mistakenly hit the wrong button on the phone − put Lin on speakerphone. “What do you want, now? Don’t you think you’ve done enough tonight already?”

“Congratulations on getting everyone on your side, Perdita. Don’t you just enjoy being the family’s martyr?” The spite was thick in his voice.

“Ever thought maybe you’d brought this on yourself? You know, maybe if you weren’t busy being a proper _asshole_ all the time, maybe you’d have someone who loved you enough to stick through thick and thin with you, maybe then someone would actually be on your side. Not my fucking fault you alienate everyone around you. Don’t you dare blame this on me.”

“Oh please. He married you because he was drunk. Probably a pity marriage, too. It’s not like you have that much to offer.”

Jon recoiled as if David had just slapped him in the face and Lin, on the other end of the line, had to bite his lips almost to the point of bleeding to keep his mouth shut. He knew he wasn't supposed to be privy to this conversation, but damn it all to hell if his own blood wasn't boiling too. Lin somehow made a mental note to reassure Jon about every awful thing David was saying. Jon got up, if only because sitting down was unbearable. Every muscle in his body was tense and ready to snap.

“You don't know me. You know nothing about me. You don’t know him. You don’t know anything about us. Get out of here.”

His voice was almost shaking with the intensity of his anger. He barely noticed taking steps toward David, and he suddenly felt like he had the upper hand in this situation. He was much taller, much more in shape than David was, and if they came to a physical altercation, he'd win in a heartbeat. David seemed to come to the same conclusions. He departed, not without spitting at Jon’s feet before he turned around and got in his car. His tires left a screech from which Jon was sure he would be able to see the visual traces once the sun arose again.

Jon hit the same button on the wireless phone again and brought it back to his ear.

“Okay, sorry about that,” Jon apologized, hoping he had gained control back over his voice. He didn’t need Lin to know how much this was affecting him.

“I’m so proud of you,” Lin breathed out.

“... What?” Jon asked, colour draining from his face.

“Jon, love, you put me on speakerphone, not on hold,” Lin said, kindness seeping through his every word to wrap itself around Jon.

Jon felt a paralyzing fear coursing through his body and, without thinking, he hung up, throwing the phone down on the swing as if it had just burned him. The loud _CLANG!_ it produced jolted him into action and he bolted inside, running straight to his room. He barely took the time to kick his shoes off before he threw himself in his bed, hiding underneath his blankets. He missed the worried look the three remaining adults shot his way along with the way his mother stood up, as if she was going to go after him.

But, before Julie could make a decision, the phone in the master bedroom rang, startling everyone. Julie automatically went in search of the wireless, looking for it outside when she didn’t hear it ring it Jon’s room. By the time she got to it, it had stopped ringing and she picked it up, fidgeting with the device as she walked back inside. It didn’t take much longer for the ringtone to be heard again and she answered, noticing a slight trembling in her hands.

“Hello?”

“Hi, uh, it’s Lin… Is Jon alright?” She could tell he hadn’t been expecting anyone but Jonathan picking up the phone.

“Hi Lin. I’m Julie, Jonathan’s mother. He just ran past us, I’m not sure what happened. I’ll send Jim to check on him, give us a second okay? I think him and his brother just got in a rather dirty screaming match.” She pulled the phone away slightly and turned to Jim, asking, “Love, can you please go see what Jonathan is doing?” before she got back to talking with Lin. “Jonathan and David, I don’t know if you know much about David, but they haven’t been on the greatest of terms lately. David came over for dinner tonight, that had already been planned, but to say the least… it didn’t quite go as planned.”

“I… I heard some of it, yeah…” Lin admitted quietly. “I think that’s why Jon hung up, he didn’t mean for me to hear it. He thought he’d put me on hold and muted himself and David, but he put me on speakerphone instead so I just… heard it all. I’m not sure what he’s thinking, though, I tried to comfort him and he just ran.”

“May I asked what happened out there? I thought David would just leave but clearly he didn’t do that without first giving Jonathan some more pieces of his mind.”

Lin sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “He, uh, he said that I married Jon solely because we weren’t exactly sober, or out of pity. Which, I would really like to stress, is _not_ the case. He said Jon had nothing to offer anyways. He said something along the lines of Jon being the family martyr and enjoying it, or something. Frankly, he deserved none of it, David was awful to him. Although, I guess I’m not exactly objective. If there’s anything I can say, it’s that he handled it a lot better than I would have. He just told David to leave. Then when he picked up the phone again, I wanted to comfort him, but he hadn’t wanted me to hear any of that, so I think he got overwhelmed, and, well, here we are now. So yeah, hi, Mrs. Groff, nice meeting you? I guess, can you please let Jon know that I’m okay, and that I love him, and that I would love nothing more than to talk to him tonight? There are a million things I want to tell him, if he’ll listen. He doesn’t even have to talk if he doesn’t want to, just listen if that’s alright. I don’t want him alone in his head, not right now. ”

Somewhere along Lin’s explanations, Jim came out of Jon’s room and, once Julie had looked up to him expectantly, shook his head slightly. She gave a soft sigh before going back to her conversation with Lin.

“Tell you what, dear. I’m going to go see him. I’ll try to get him to call you back. It’s going to be okay. I promise. I’ll keep you updated if Jonathan doesn’t himself, how is that?”

“I’d appreciate that, yeah. Thank you, Mrs. Groff.”

“You’re very welcome. I’ll talk to you soon, dear. Oh and, Lin-Manuel?”

“Yeah?” Lin asked, grimacing at the use of his full name.

“Call me Julie, will you?” She asked with kindness making its way to Lin, all the way in New York.

“Of course, Mrs…” Lin stopped himself, “Julie, no problem. But please call me Lin. I may be twenty-six, but Lin-Manuel always makes me feel like I’m about to get grounded.”

She agreed and bid him goodbye, letting him know she would call if Jon didn’t, and hung up. She thanked Jim for checking up on Jon and resolutely took a deep breath before heading towards her son’s bedroom. She knocked softly before cracking the door open.

“Jonathan, my love?” She asked, caring, not wanting to startle him any more than he already was. She was greeted with a heart-wrenching sob coming from a bump under the blankets. “Oh, Jonathan. It’s going to be alright, please don’t let David ruin everything for you.”

“It’s not David, Ma, it’s me, I’ve ruined everything with Lin. He probably never wants to see me again,” he managed between hiccups.

“Angel, no, not at all − come out of the blanket, please? Why would you think that?”

She closed the door behind her and went to sit on the bed next to him, putting her hand on top of the bump. She sighed, wondering what could she say to convince him to come out from under his blankets.

“He talks a lot,” Julie commented, smiling fondly, after it became clear Jon wasn’t going to explain his train of thoughts.

“You spoke to him?” Jon asked in alarm.

“He called here after you ran inside. He explained what happened out there. Sweetheart. He loves you. He’s worried about you, right now. He wants to talk to you.”

“I don’t think I want to hear that it’s over, not tonight. Not ever.”

“I highly doubt that he wants anything of the sort to happen, Jonathan.”

“He probably thinks we’re insane.”

“How about you give him some credit, hm? I think you should try giving him a call and let him tell you for himself how he feels.”

“Okay. Okay.” He sniffled and stuck his hand out for Julie to give him the phone. “Can I… Can I be alone for this, Ma? I think I need some time to myself.”

“Of course, my love. Anything you need.” She bent down and pressed a kiss to his forehead, got up and left the room.

Jon used another few minutes to try and calm himself down before calling Lin − he definitely needed to take several deep breaths before he could even think about calling him back. He grounded himself some, ostensibly refused to look at himself in the mirror, and typed out Lin’s phone number on the keyboard. It took him a couple of seconds before he hit the button to connect the call. Lin picked up before the first ring was even completed.

“Jon? Julie? LMMGoat?!” Lin asked frantically.

On any other occasion, it would have made Jon laugh. But that night, Jon could barely find it in himself to smile.

“Hey, lovebird,” he said quietly and he heard Lin let out a relieved breath. “Were you really expecting a call from my mother? Or our goat?”

“Julie said she would call me back, just if she couldn’t convince you to talk to me, Groffsauce.”

“ _Groffsauce_?” Jon repeated, incredulous.

“Words come out before being approved by my brain, sometimes, remember?”

“Are you sure you’re not mad at me? Or did my mom just say that so that I would call?”

“I’m not, I’m the opposite of being mad at you. I don't even know why I’m supposed to be mad at you. I just want to hug you and maybe punch your brother, if you’ll let me. I wish you were here, or that I was there, just so you wouldn't have to deal with this alone. I’m proud of you for standing up to him. I want you to know that I love you, I _need_ you to know that. I also need you to know that I didn’t choose to stay married to you out of pity, that I’m doing it because I truly believe that we have the potential to be the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. To the both of us, hopefully. That _you_ are the greatest thing to ever happen to me. You’re not a martyr to me, you’re brave and courageous and I’m so proud of you. I don’t know what else he said to you, but I’ll refute everything until I’m blue in the face if you need me to. Do you need me to?”

“I…” Jon sniffled, a fresh wave of tears running down his cheeks. “No, I’m okay. Thank you, lovebird.”

“Anytime. Hey, Jon?”

Jon hummed a little brokenly in reply.

“I love you. I can't wait for tomorrow.”

“Promise you’ll be there?”

“Of course, I will. I wouldn't have it any other way.”

“Lin?”

It was his husband’s turn to hum in response.

“That's a terrible nickname.”

“You don't like the nickname I found for you?” Lin asked, mock horror tainting his words.

“I didn't say that. It’s as dorky as you are. I wouldn't let anyone else call me that. It's positively awful. God, the things I’ll do for you.”

Lin laughed before he was interrupted by a female voice. Jon heard a muffled “Oh my god, go away, Luz!” then, the same female voice but louder this time.

_“Hello Lin’s husband! Can’t wait to meet you!”_

“I should let you go. I forgot you were with your family tonight.” Jon could hardly say his enthusiasm matched that of Luz in that moment.

“I don’t want to go if you’re still shaken, though. That’s not what husbands are for, is it? I gotta admit I haven’t thought about being or having one much in my life but I’m pretty sure we said something about supporting each other, now. Besides, my sister’s not so bad. It’s if you hear my mo…”

_“LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA, LET GO OF THAT PHONE, RIGHT NOW!”_

Lin audibly winced. “Yep, there it is.” He pulled the phone away slightly, trying not to make Jon go deaf (and likely failing). “ _BUT MOM, HE MISSES ME! AND IT’S MIRANDA-GROFF NOW!_ Why won’t anyone learn?! I had to tell Lac the exact same thing yesterday. Can you believe it? And he was there!” He spoke back into the receiver. Jon was a bit bewildered by the two conversations Lin seemed to be having at the same time. He made a mental note to prepare himself for next Thursday, that he might just be getting much more than what he had bargained for with the whole Miranda clan present.

 _“Give your mother a break, she’s called you Lin-Manuel Miranda for twenty-six years. Probably had to use your full name at least once a day. Cut her some slack,”_ Luis shot back.

“Aaaand there’s my dad. I knew he wouldn’t miss that party.”

Jon let a chuckle out in disbelief that Lin would put him on the spot like that and pretend like he wasn’t the one who was about to hop a plane if no one at the Groff’s had picked up the phone.

“Go back to them. I can just go in and take an excruciatingly long and hot shower. I’ll be fine. I need the relaxation anyways. Say hi to everyone for me? Tell them I can’t wait for Thursday.”

“ _MOM! Jon just said he never wants to meet any of you. Y’all ruined it! I can’t believe it!_ ” Jon could almost see him flail his hands around in exasperation.

“Lin! Hey!” Jon half considered shouting for a moment, in the hopes that maybe the Mirandas would hear him. “Tell them that’s not true! Take it back, Miranda! Or you don’t get to keep my name.”

“What? No! Okay, okay. _Alright, that was a lie, he can’t wait for Thursday. The guy ain’t got a mean bone in his body._ Satisfied, now?”

“Very.”

“You feeling better, love?” Lin asked, delicate again. Actors, no one could switch between moods the way they did.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine. Go have fun for me, yeah?”

“I can’t wait for tomorrow. Will you do one thing for me?”

“What is it?”

“Tell me you love me?”

“You know I do. Lin, I love you,” Jon said, his heart melting at his husband’s request.

“I love you, too!” Jon could practically hear Lin’s beaming smile. Maybe one day he’d have to buy sunglasses for the entirety of the Miranda family, for their own sake.

After they hung up, Jon grabbed the towel he’d had drying since that morning and made his way to the bathroom to warm it up, deciding he needed to stop by the kitchen to thank his parents for looking out for him. The atmosphere was still a little tense on that side of the house, that much was clear. It relaxed a bit when they noticed that Jon’s mood was back to its usual easy-going state.

Jon formally apologized to Melany for his behaviour, choosing his words carefully. He absolutely refused to make apologies in his brother’s name. In return, she made a point of letting him know that, as far as she was concerned, none of it was his fault and she still loved him just as much. It truly was a relief to hear her say that. He offered to drive her home before going to take a shower and she gladly took him up on his offer, for old time’s sake. She asked him a few questions about Lin, clarifications about things that had been said that she had felt like she was the only one not in the know and Jon happily answered her on their way to her house.

Just before she got out of the truck, Jon hinted that if she’d ever be so inclined, she should drop by the farm again the following Saturday, that Lin would be around if she wanted to meet him. She winked back at him as her only answer and Jon definitely took that as a ‘yes’. If he dared say so, he couldn’t wait for her and Lin to meet. He was convinced that they’d become best friends by the end of the evening.

He came back home, grabbed the towel he’d left on a chair and headed to the shower for real, this time. He turned on the knobs and stripped while he waited for the water to warm up. He refused to think of anything but the feeling on the water on his body, each droplet a soft thud against his skin. He let the tension bleed out and down the drain with the water. He reveled in the steam coming up and surrounding him, letting his chin drop down against his chest and his arms sway lightly by his sides. He blanked out his mind and just stayed there, unmoving, for several minutes, until all the ache in his body washed out, and then he grabbed the bar soap to scrub some more. He felt at ease by the time the water started cooling down, enough to get out and join his parents in the living room, all wrapped up in his coziest pajamas.

When he got to the living room, Jim and Julie were already seated on the couch, cuddled against each other with a throw blanket covering them. Jon smiled at the sight and used the other half of the couch to lay down, his head in his mother’s lap. He couldn’t help the wishful thinking that he would have the same kind of relationship with Lin in the far-off future. Still loving even decades down the road. He wanted to be in his early fifties, still snuggling against Lin’s side on the couch at the smallest occasions. He refused to let them turn into one of these couples that barely spoke to each and stayed together only because it was simpler, or to avoid being the main subject of gossip of their neighbourhood. He wanted to have his happily ever after and he wanted to have it with no one else but Lin. Somewhere at the back of his mind, Jon knew he should have been terrified that Lin already meant so much to him, that he had been so willing to make Lin the center of his world, of his whole universe, after having known him for less than a week, but fear was the last thing on his mind whenever he thought of his feelings towards Lin. A fear of losing him? Yes. A fear of hurting him? Yes. But fear of loving him? No, never.

“Just like old times,” he whispered, content. Julie stroked his hair, weaving her fingers in and out of Jon’s damp locks.

Once they’d all settled in, Jim started the movie, but Jon had relaxed himself enough that he could barely keep his eyes open, especially not with his mom carding through his hair the way she was. If he was honest with himself, that was the single easiest way of winding him down, and after a day that had been so highly exhausting emotionally, that was all he needed to doze off, wrapped up in his mother’s loving embrace. When Julie woke him up at the end of the movie, Jon couldn’t have told anyone what it had been about, even if he tried his best to remember.

“Jonathan, honey, it’s time to get you to bed, my love,” Julie said slowly, trying to wake him up before he got a stiff neck from sleeping in her lap. She earned a groan.

“Is it?” Jon mumbled, making both of his parents huff a small laugh. It wasn’t exactly the first time in Jon’s life that this very scene was unfolding in the Groff’s living room.

“I’d offer to carry you to bed, son, but you’re taller than I am, now. I’m not sure it’d end well for either of us.”

“So not fair,” Jon whined, dragging his vowels out, before he attempted to move off the sofa.

Julie made sure to hold his arm as he got up, to help with the balance. There was something absolutely endearing about the way in which Jon pulled the hood of his sweater around his neck and burrowed his hands deep in the kangaroo pocket. He made his way to his bed and managed not to knock anything over, didn’t run into walls, didn’t trip over his own unexisting shoelaces.

The first thing he noticed when he woke up the next morning was how itchy and dry his eyes were and he groaned. That really wasn’t how he wanted his weekend to end. He mentally reviewed the contents of his bag, of his toiletries pouch, and he was pretty certain he’d forgotten to bring more contacts with him. He couldn’t remember seeing eye drops either. Today was going to be rough. His mind wasn't exactly thinking of the expiry day of his current lenses when Lin had packed him up for Ronks.

He tried as best he could to summon whatever tears he could get to ease the scratch of the contacts against his eyelids, to no avail. He got up once he realized how pointless it was and put on the flannel pants he'd discarded at some point during the night, making his way to the kitchen where he could smell his mother preparing brunch for the family.

“Oh goodness gracious, Jonathan!” Julie said as a greeting and it honestly didn’t do anything to make Jon feel any better. “Are you alright, honey? Your eyes are all red and bloodshot,” she explained.

“I left my contacts at home and I didn't realize I had to change out of my current pair this weekend,” he meekly explained.

“Oh, we can probably still find an old pair of yours. I know you changed because you got tired of them, but I’m fairly certain that your red glasses are here somewhere. Want me to look for them?”

 _Want_ was a strong word, but the ache behind his eyelids was definitely stronger. “I guess so, yeah. I won't make it back to New York like this,” he said miserably.

“Okay. Keep an eye on this omelet for me? Or I guess… whatever senses you can actually use to make sure it won't burn?” Julie teased.

“You know, if I was petty, I would let it burn for that comment. But I’m hungry and I know what’s best for me, so count yourself lucky.”

“The fact that you love that omelet has, of course, no role to play in your decision of not letting it burn,” she added and Jon just knew she was still making fun of him.

“None, whatsoever,” he replied cheekily.

“That’s my Bonnie!”

Jon stuck his tongue out at her as she handed him the spatula, wiping her hands on her apron as she went in search for the glasses. Jon took her place in front of the stove, squinting his eyes at the mixture in the pan. He used the spatula to work around the edges, make sure it didn't stick, but anything else required too much visual focus he couldn't muster right then. He was lucky it was only a few short minutes before his mother came back, triumphant with the pair in her hands.

“Thank God. You don't notice how cool seeing is until you can't do it anymore,” Jon said, derision dripping down his voice.

He washed his hands thoroughly and took the glasses from his mom, letting her finish cooking the omelet. He went to his bedroom and sat on the edge of his bed. He had been wearing contacts long enough that he didn't really need a mirror anymore, at least not to take them out. He carefully popped one out then the other, letting his eyes adjust to the feeling, welling up at the loss. He grimaced before he wiped his glasses clean with his shirt and put them on reluctantly. He was instantly reminded of why he’d switched out to his contacts when he looked in the mirror. He didn't look ‘bad’, per se, but… it definitely was not his most glorious look. Despite what his mom would be sure to say about it.

He went back in the kitchen just in time to walk in on Julie fixing them all a plate, adding some fresh herbs to the eggs. She looked up to him and gave him a smile.

“Could you call your father, please? He should be around somewhere,” she said vaguely, making Jon laugh and shake his head.

‘Around somewhere’ on a farm in the middle of rural Pennsylvania covered a vast area of land, to say the least. He cracked the back door open and, after a quick survey of their farm, spotted his dad, working on fixing a post of the fence. He yelled that breakfast was ready and turned back around once he’d gotten an answer from him. His mother shot him a disapproving look and he shrugged, saying that, while his technique lacked finesse, it certainly worked.

They settled around the table, Jim coming in not long after they’d started eating. He shed his jacket and shook his head as he attempted to warm up his face − it was apparently cold enough outside for the wind to be skin-numbing. Jon decided that once he finally got back to New York, he’d barricade himself in his apartment and not come back out for a day or two, at the very least. He needed the downtime so bad, after having been all over the country in the past few weeks. All the better if he could convince Lin to stay with him, too.

“I think the stalls are ready for the winter ahead,” Jim said. “Jonathan, are those new?” he added, gesturing vaguely towards his face with his fork.

“Pa. Seriously?” Jon replied, incredulous.

“What? Are they not?”

“Those are the glasses I wore in high school. I haven’t worn them _since_ high school, Pa.”

“Oh. Do I at least get a pat on the back for noticing you were wearing them?”

“Are you so desperate for validation that you need praise for noticing glasses?”

“He’s a straight man, sweetie. Yes he does,” Julie said with a large teasing smile on her lips.

“Oh my God, Ma, he really is Clyde, isn’t he. No wonder he died in a fight for which he was entirely responsible.”

“Do you think he’s safe here or should we keep him away from the horses from now on?”

Jon thought about it for a second, looking up and down his father who seemed to be mocking offense more and more.

“I’d say he’s fine for now. But keep an eye on him Ma. If he starts picking a fight with the stallions, pull him out of there as fast as you can.”

Jon kept eating and teasing his father lightly, just thankful to be around his parents and that the awful vibe from the previous night was gone. Somehow the teasing turned on him and he groaned, but played along until he eventually got the opportunity to turn it around on his mother. Jim seemed to have quite a lot of fun with that one.

Soon enough, their plates were emptied of any traces of food and Jim went back outside to finish fixing the fence while Jon and Julie cleaned the kitchen. Before long, he knew it was time to start gathering his belongings again, and pack them well enough that he’d have space for the jams and all the extra food he was bringing back to Lin. He also warned his mother about the invitation he had extended to Melany the previous night, just in case she decided to ask more details about it to Julie. He didn’t want her to be caught by surprise.

Julie helped him look around the house for any misplaced items that belonged to Jon, and then, in true mother-knows-best fashion, refused to let him pack his own bag. She said he didn’t know how to save the most space, so he let her do, and if he wanted to be honest with himself, he would admit that he was honestly amazed by how tight she could pack everything so that there was still more than enough room for all the extra containers he was bringing with him. He’d need to ask how she did that, one day.

By the time they were done, Jon had just about enough time to call Lin to let him know he was soon to be on his way to the station. He fared his goodbyes to his father, knowing he’d stay behind on the farm, and Julie had them leave with enough time to avoid being rushed once they got there. He genuinely wasn’t sure what he would do without her in his life. The weekend, while it felt like a drag at times, had actually gone by so quickly and he was feeling some conflicted type of way about leaving. He missed Lin, he really did, and his apartment, his bed, his things, but he also had missed the easy comfort and familiarity of his childhood home, and he wouldn’t let the awful incident of David’s scene ruin that for him. He wouldn’t give David that satisfaction.

Goodbyes never were easy between the two of them, and this time was no exception.

“You’ll be safe on the ride home, my angel?” Julie asked, trying to keep her voice from quivering.

“You know I will, Ma. I’ll call you when I get home, how does that sound?”

“I’d appreciate that. Just let me know you got home safe. I love you, Jonathan. Don’t forget that.”

“I wouldn’t dare. Don’t make me cry, now, I’ll be back next weekend. I’m sure you can survive dad for a week without me, can’t you?”

“I should be fine. I’ve been with him for a couple decades, I’ll be able to handle another week, surely. Alright, now, shoo, you don’t want to miss the train, do you?”

“I don’t. I’ll call you. I love you, Ma.” Jon hugged her tight, bending down some and pulling her up against him, planting a soft kiss to her cheek when they parted.

“Don’t forget to say hi to Lin for me,” she said with a smile when they let go of each other.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” With that, he took a hold of his luggage and turned around with just enough time to buy his ticket back. He only looked back once he’d secured his seat, smiling softly at his mother.

Once inside, he settled for a seat by the window once again. It wasn’t as busy and full as he originally thought a Sunday afternoon would be, but then again, he figured everyone’s vacation would be later in the week so there wasn’t as much traffic the weekend _before_ Thanksgiving. He pulled Hamlet out of his bag − he had another three-hour ride ahead of him and not much else to do, so he decided just to read Lin’s book. Maybe he’d learn more about Lin’s character through the book − did he underline anything? Did he comment in the margins? He was clearly a dog-earer, but Jon noticed that both the top corners and the bottom ones got the treatment. Maybe there was a reason for that. It’d be an interesting three hours.

Lin owned an extensive version of Hamlet. Complete with essays and explanatory notes, even some background on Shakespeare’s life. Jon wished he could say he was surprised, but he really, really was not. Curiosity got the better of him and, instead of reading the play like he had been meaning to, he settled comfortably into his seat, reading every comment Lin wrote, scanning the page for what he was referencing. Some were just a short “Ha!” scribbled above something particularly funny or unbelievable that had happened to the playwright. Other comments found themselves wrapping around the entire page, sometimes even going over to the next one, Jon had to spin the book around to keep reading those. He read some of Polonius’ parts, and he wouldn't admit it was because Lin had compared him to the character, but he knew very well that such was the case. He spotted a few “!”s scattered across the pages, and he wasn't entirely sure what those were for. They didn't always seen related specifically to a word or a line, and Jon could only picture Lin making a ridiculously excited face and marking it with that – the kind of face where he was making puppy eyes because he was overwhelmed. Maybe he'd ask Lin one day, about the floating exclamation marks.

He got enthralled to the point where he didn't see the ride go by. Time just passed and passed, without Jon taking notice, until he heard the call for Penn Station. Home, sweet home.

Jon quickly grew giddy at the idea of seeing Lin, so soon he could almost taste it. He put the book back in his duffel and made his way out to the platform, a wide smile plastered on his face, and scanned down the line for Lin’s presence. His smile faltered when he couldn’t find him. Jon tried to tell himself that maybe Lin was somewhere else, closer to the gates rather than on the platform and so, with this new hope in mind, he set out to look for his husband again, his shoulders slumping more and more with every passing minute. Jon looked around the set of seats they had sat in just a few days earlier, followed the same path they had taken on Friday morning. He considered for a brief moment looking through the entire station but… It probably would be better to just go back to his apartment and call Lin from there. He was seriously starting to understand why everyone was insisting he got a cellphone.

He walked outside and hailed a cab, all traces of his previous enthusiasm completely gone, sorrow slumping his spine. He mumbled his address to the cab driver and, if the man shot him a concerned look, Jon didn’t see it. He had imagined Lin would have been waiting for him, probably pacing around and fidgeting, wringing his hands in impatience. He had hoped that the first thing he would get to do once he was back in New York City was to hug his husband tight, breathing him in. Not… Not this. He wasn’t expecting to take a cab alone, wasn’t really expecting to get home alone.

And he certainly wasn’t expecting music to be coming out of his apartment either. Jon stared at the door in confusion, his head slightly tilted to the side. Was that a thing robbers did now? He tried to rationalize that his apartment was safe now that Lin had… _Lin._

Jon turned his key into the lock and pushed the door opened only to be welcomed by something that smelled delicious and a definitely warm draft of air. He walked farther into his apartment, dropping his duffel somewhere along the way, and found Lin at his stove, humming along whatever song was playing, with candles scattered around the place and a couple of them on the dining table that Lin had taken the time to dress up with a tablecloth, a vase of fresh flowers, the whole nine yards. Lin spun around at the noise, just in time to see Jon take off his jacket, scarf and shoes, a bright smile on his lips.

“Welcome home!” Lin greeted happily while Jon still gaped around, happy tears welling up in his eyes.

“Oh my God. You… You idiot!” Jon walked to Lin and swatted at his shoulder.

“Hey!” Lin exclaimed, trying to move away − or to protect himself − from Jon’s blows.

“You said you’d be there! You, fucking, stupid, moron!” Jon continued, hitting him between every word. Lin made a grab for Jon’s wrist in an attempt to stop the light punches from raining down on him. Jon stilled, glaring at him, tight in Lin’s firm grip.

“I’m right here. Isn’t this good?” Lin asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jon took a step forward before he leaned in, kissing Lin deeply. His free hand went to Lin’s hip, pulling him close. Lin seemed to melt into the kiss, pressing back into Jon’s body and his hand moved from Jon’s wrist to intertwine their fingers instead. When they broke apart after what felt like a lifetime at least, Jon rested his forehead against Lin’s, breathing heavily and keeping his eyes closed.

“At the station. I thought you meant you’d be at the station,” Jon spoke softly and Lin squeezed his hand in response.

“I figured this would be better?” Lin tried and Jon huffed a laugh.

“Definitely is. But you could have told me. You’re mean,” he replied, slowly opening his eyes.

Lin hummed before he closed the distance between them, kissing him again.

“And ruin the surprise? That’s a lot less fun. Even if I’m pretty sure I’m the one who got the surprise in the end.” Lin lightly tapped the frame of Jon’s glasses. “Is that what Ronks did to you? I need to know if I have to shop for glasses before next weekend.”

Jon chuckled and let go of Lin, moving to the stove. He picked up the wooden spoon Lin had abandoned in the pot and started stirring the sauce with it. Lin pouted at the loss and walked behind his husband, putting his arms around his waist, trying to get in touch with as much of Jon’s body as he could, with his hands running up and down his torso and his chin against his shoulder, until he settled for resting his hands just under the hem of Jon’s shirt and his face nuzzling against the warm skin of his neck.

“Hi, welcome home, pretty boy,” he whispered into his neck.

“Hello, lovebird,” Jon replied, giving Lin’s hands a light squeeze. “And no, you won’t have to shop for glasses. I’ve been wearing them since middle school. I just completely forgot I was supposed to change my contacts this weekend.” He leaned back into Lin’s body and let out a soft and content sigh. “Did you really do all of this for me?” Jon asked in a small, disbelieving voice.

Lin hummed, nuzzling Jon’s neck.

“I did. You said you wanted to be courted, didn’t you? So that’s what I’m doing,” he explained before he pressed a kiss against Jon’s pulse point. “I got us some wine too. Wasn’t sure which one you liked so I got one of each, white, red, rosé. We can always keep them for Thursday night if you don’t wanna drink, it’s okay.” Lin paused and breathed Jon in. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” Jon replied, resting his head on the side of Lin’s.

They stood in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, reveling in being in each other’s presence again. Jon felt his knees grow weak when Lin started quietly singing along with one of the love songs that was playing. His heart seemed to both burst and melt at being serenaded by his husband. He’d definitely lead a very satisfied life if such a thing became a part of their daily routine.

“Jon?” Lin asked in hushed tones after the song was over.

“Hm?”

“Tell me you love me?”

“I love you, Lin.” Jon wasn’t sure he’d ever have the strength to disobey that command. He wasn’t sure he wanted to have it either. “You ask that a lot, you know that? Not that I mind, though, far from it. Please never stop asking.”

Lin shrugged it off, as if it wasn’t a big deal − Jon couldn’t tell if it was or not − and pressed more kisses into his neck instead.

“That's good. That's really good. Because you see, I love you, too,” Lin said and if Jon couldn’t see his grin, he could certainly hear it. “Also, I think that sauce has been stirred well enough. How about we eat, uh?”

“Alright. Oh, while we’re on the topic, my mom made you food. Well, she made us food. Made more than enough for dinner and had me bring the rest with me. Let me put that in the fridge for tomorrow, you can start plating everything while I do that and then go pop in my contacts?” Jon asked

Lin pulled off of him as if he’d been burned, a half-serious look of horror on his face.

“Excuse me? Why would you ever want to do such a thing? Not under my roof,” Lin replied without missing a beat.

“...we’re under my roof, if you really want to get technical here,” Jon pointed out. Lin squinted at him.

“You’re still not allowed. You’re way too damn cute with those on. No way you’re taking them off.”

“At least let me grab my current pair, then? Not my high school glasses?” Lin squinted more, and Jon figured he might as well just go, because there was realistically no way that Lin could squint his eyes any further without straight up blinking, and he wanted to keep looking into his eyes forever, and those two things were definitely mutually exclusive.

Jon gave a quick peck to Lin’s forehead after storing the food in his nearly empty fridge, carefully hiding the jam jars from Lin’s sight and zipping his duffel bag up before he went into his bedroom, freezing in shock in the doorway. More than a few pieces of Lin’s clothing were littering the floor of his usually pristine room. How in Heaven’s name had he managed that in a couple of days? He took a deep breath and soldiered on, going to his nightstand. Jon rationalized, again, that, all things considered, they didn’t know much about each other’s habits, that Lin could have assumed he’d only cleaned up because he was leaving for a few days. He quickly found his case and switched pairs, already feeling much better about himself. If Lin liked him in his old red-rimmed glasses, he was in for a treat.

He got back to the kitchen just as Lin finished depositing the second plate where Jon usually ate.

“I swear I’ll be mad if you snuck around and put on your contacts,” Lin said as he turned around, looking up to Jon. His breath caught in his throat. The red rims were cute. The black ones? Gave Lin one too many ideas of terrible things he could do to Jon. “Who gave you the right to be this handsome? It’s really not fair.”

Jon rolled his eyes, trying to hide the faint blush setting high on his cheeks.

“What are you gonna do about it, stud?” He joked. Lin cocked an eyebrow. Then, “No but Lin, seriously, I look like a nerd.”

“Hmmm. So many things I wanna do to you, little lamb. So. Many. Things. But no. Definitely not a nerd. And I’m your husband, so obviously, I’m always right on how you look and ‘nerdy’ is the absolute last word that comes to my mind right now. And you _know_ I can come up with a bunch of them. Adorable, striking, cute, drop dead gorgeous, could kill a few people with the right gaze, stunning, breath-taking, ridiculously attractive, dazzling, dignified, classy and mildly intimidating, yes. But nerdy? No.” As he recited them, he moved around the table to pull a chair out for Jon, guiding him in his seat.

Jon pinched the bridge of his nose at Lin’s shenanigans. He couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot.

“Do you ever shut up?”

“Pretty sure you asked me that already, pretty thing. Ooooh. I suddenly like this name a lot better. Didn’t think that would be possible. The answer is still no, in case it wasn’t clear enough.”

“I thought you wanted to eat?”

“I could eat _you_ up, that’s for sure, little lamb,” Lin said with a smirk.

The faint blush evolved very quickly into a much more violent one. Jon cleared his throat.

“No, no, I meant...” Jon stammered, making Lin laugh and he gave up. “Shut up. You’re no big bad wolf.”

“Would you like me to be?”

Jon gaped at Lin, his own thoughts running freely with that scenario. He’d never really stopped to think whether or not he’d like to be manhandled or roughed up by his partner. He’d thought about plenty of other things, but that had never really crossed his mind.

“I… don’t know?” Jon squeaked, uncertain. Lin raised an eyebrow and filed the idea for later, maybe when their relationship wasn’t going to be so new to the both of them.

He bent down to tilt Jon’s face up some before he kissed him softly to let him know he was fine either way, that Jon didn’t have to feel pressured by him. He’d be happy to play along if Jon wanted to, if not that was okay with Lin too. He lingered just a second and then sat in his own chair. He grabbed his fork in his left hand, as posed and serious as he could be as he looked Jon directly into the deep blue sea of his eyes. Tried not to drown. Wasn’t sure he succeeded. Was pretty sure he failed actually.

Lin went to raise a toast when he realized he had completely forgotten to get them something to drink. After checking with Jon, he poured them both a glass of water, pressing a kiss to Jon’s temple as he put it down in front of him. Satisfied, Lin sat back down and raised his own glass.

“To us.”

Jon grinned wide in response. “To us.”

They ate entranced by each other, just thankful to be back together. The last two days had been much harder than they'd expected, than they'd like to admit. Jon asked about the music, laughing when Lin declared himself a “mixtape buff”. He was touched when Lin added he’d spent the whole weekend working on it, that it had given him something to focus on. In return, Lin started asking more questions about LMMGoat and Sutton, inquiries that had popped up in his mind at random moments since Friday night that had never seemed like the right time to ask.

One of Jon’s favorite songs suddenly started playing on Lin’s playlist and his eyes lit up like a million shooting stars.

“Oh! I love this song!” Jon exclaimed, pushing his chair out so he could stand up. He walked around the table and extended his hand, offering it to Lin. “Dance with me?”

Miraculously, Lin managed to hold back the comment that threatened to leave his lips and let go of his fork before putting his hand in Jon’s. Jon tugged him up to his feet and led him to the living room, pulling him close as soon as he could. He took hold of Lin’s free hand and placed both of them around his neck, smiling softly as he put his on Lin’s hips. Lin let out a small, a little nervous, laugh and Jon gave him a squeeze as he began to sway them around.

“Hush,” Jon whispered. “You wanted to woo me. This is definitely part of how you do it.”

Just by that comment, Lin knew he had done well to keep to himself that Jon was being ridiculous. And if Jon liked dancing with him by the candlelight with some love songs playing in the background for the two of them, Lin would do it every single day of his life in order to make his pretty boy happy. Jon moved to press his cheek to the side of Lin’s head. He hummed along for a while before he finally joined his voice to Alicia Keys’.

“ _Some people want it all, But I don’t want nothing at all, If it ain’t you baby, If I ain’t got you baby, Some people want diamond rings, Some just want everything, But everything means nothing, If I ain’t got you._ ”

Lin pulled away to look at him in amazement, having never heard Jon sing before. Jon frowned in confusion and before the next verse could begin, Lin quickly mouthed “Keep going”, request to which Jon indulged. Jon kept them moving and sang along. He stumbled upon his words when he happened to look into Lin’s intense gaze so he tried looking at a point just above Lin’s shoulder, but he knew Lin was staring straight into his eyes.

“ _If I ain’t got you with me, baby, So nothing in this whole wide world don’t mean a thing, If I ain’t got you with me, baby,_ ” Jon finished and Lin let out the breath he had been holding.

Without thinking, Lin pulled Jon’s head down to him and kissed him deeply. Jon let Lin take complete control of the kiss, a soft moan escaping him when Lin curled his fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. He pulled Lin’s body closer to his, unsure if he was doing it to anchor himself or Lin. He had a feeling it had something to do more with the worry that his knees would give out under him if he didn’t.

“Damn,” Lin breathed out. “That playlist was supposed to be _my_ secret weapon against you, not yours against _me_!”

Jon hummed in a vague form of agreement, he wasn’t even sure what he was agreeing to.

“Never stop singing for me, please?” Lin asked and Jon huffed a laugh through his nose before he leaned forward to press a short kiss on his lips.

“That’s the good thing about me being a Broadway actor. It’s not something you ever have to worry about,” he teased back, winking. “And you better never stop singing to me either.”

After Lin promised, albeit a tad reluctantly because he knew his voice wasn’t and never would be as good as Jon’s, they went back to their dinner. It had gone a little cold with their impromptu slow dance, but neither really had it in them to care.

They were cleaning up the kitchen when the phone rang and Jon answered it, staring at Lin in horror when he realized who was on the line. He profusely apologized for completely forgetting about the fact that he’d promised to call home while Julie admonished him for making his poor mother worry herself sick.

”Ma, no, you know I didn't do it on purpose! I just forgot. It’s Lin’s fault,” he said hurriedly, Lin looking up to him in utter betrayal at being thrown under the bus so easily by his husband.

“Don’t listen to him, Mrs. Groff! Julie! I didn't do anything wrong!” He spoke loudly in hopes that Julie would hear him on the line. “Thanks for the food, by the way!”

Jon chatted with her for a few more minutes, confirming that they’d indeed be back the following weekend but together this time. Before long, they ended up cuddled against each other on the couch, not really doing much apart from basking in each other’s presence. Jon looked up at Lin from where he was resting against his chest and an idea made its way through his mind.

“Lin?” He asked softly.

“What is it, pretty boy?”

“You should keep reading Harry Potter to me,” he suggested with a smile bright enough to eclipse every _Lumos_ spell Lin could ever conjure. “Did you bring it with you?”

“You know I did. I’m going to go get it, wait here,” Lin said, pecking Jon’s cheek before he scrambled to get up and go grab it in Jon’s bedroom.

Jon had half a mind to follow him simply for the fact that they’d be more comfortable in his bed than on the couch. And he’d get to change out of his jeans. He glanced above the back of the couch just in time to see Lin reach the bedroom door and turn his head back to look at him.

“Wanna join me in bed to read it instead?”

Jon grinned and got up in less time than it took to say Lin’s full name to join him.

“That’s a very stupid question to ask,” he commented.

“Maybe it is, but it got you here, didn’t it?” Lin replied, his lips quirking up in a teasing smile.

While it was still early, they undressed and brushed their teeth, got ready for bed. Lin sat back against some pillows, Jon curling up next to him, his head nestled on Lin’s chest, his heartbeat filling Jon’s ear.

“ _The escape of the Brazilian boa constrictor earned Harry his longest-ever punishment. By the time he was allowed out of his cupboard again, the summer holidays had started and Dudley had already broken his new video camera, crashed his remote control airplane, and, first time out on his racing bike, knocked down old Mrs. Figg as she crossed Privet Drive on her crutches._ ”

Yeah. Despite a few pitfalls here and there, Jon’s life was grand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [The picture Lin gave Jon](https://68.media.tumblr.com/8a18e1b9f883546d330d77fbdf720aa0/tumblr_opz966IShC1qe14gso1_1280.jpg). In the meantime, hit that sweet comment button. It's brain power.


	4. Chess, not Checkers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He held on, held onto Lin as if his life depended on it – and if anything, today had been the proof that it did. He squeezed his arms as much as he could around Lin’s waist and swore to heaven and hell that he'd never let go if he could help it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one we dedicate to user misguidedcon because we might have missed the deadline but it's their birthday, so, happy birthday and thanks for being the most appreciated Spanish translator out there. <3  
> We promise never to replace you. Maybe we don't understand your poetry but we trust you, so...!  
> We barely speak English as it is, please don't expect us to pick up Spanish just yet. (Diva would like to add that they tried in school and they sucked big time so you'll have to excuse them for failing at it)

Come morning, after he’d realized they’d somehow started spooning in the middle of the night, Jon buried his nose deeper into Lin’s hair and squeezed his waist. He pressed closer to him, but absolutely refused to have anything to do with the outside world. Not yet. He knew that the following week was going to be pure insanity with it being Tech Week at the O’Neill, and he wanted to take advantage of the quiet while he still could; wanted to live in the bubble they’d created for themselves for just a while longer.

It was a long time before they both were awake and either one of them found a good enough reason to move, and Jon loathed how it ended up being because of something as mundane as having to go to the bathroom and needing coffee. As Jon worked around his kitchen to get some sort of breakfast going, he felt like a terrible host for having Lin over while his fridge was empty. He tried to convince himself that Lin had been aware of the situation beforehand, but honestly, the fact that Lin had needed to pick up some basic groceries just to be able to spend the past two days there only made him feel worse.

He grabbed some bagels from the freezer along with cream cheese that was still good and pulled out the jar of his mom’s strawberry-rhubarb jam he’d brought back for himself to make up for how ridiculously unimpressive of a breakfast cream cheese bagels really were. It did seem to do the trick with Lin − there _was_ a reason this one was Jon’s favourite jam. After filling their mugs up with more coffee, Jon persuaded Lin to go back to bed and spend the day together, the way they probably would have if Jon hadn’t felt the crushing need to go visit his parents.

Lin read some more chapters of _Harry Potter_ for Jon until he practically started dozing off at how calming Lin’s voice was. To stay awake, Jon then produced a deck of cards from deep within a drawer, which culminated in full blown war over a game of Go Fish, because of course they would. They talked some and lazily made out for a while, until it heated up way past the point in which they could have pretended it was really, only, simply making out. They passed out in a hazed sleep, bleeding out their tension once they came back down, but hunger woke them up and Jon reluctantly warmed up some of the leftovers his mom had given him. Not that he didn't feel thankful for the food, he'd be crazy not to, but staying in bed with Lin seemed like such a better idea. Getting up and away from him felt like the highest of treasons − and he never wanted to be found guilty of betraying Lin.

He took a bite to test the temperature, hoped that the full container would be the same, and came back to find Lin absolutely splayed out on his side of the bed. He couldn't remember the last time he ate in bed, tried as he did to keep his life compartmentalized and in order, but with everything going on lately, he couldn't really tell what that meant anymore. He let Lin remind him of the things that mattered or didn’t− big or small − and decided not to care if a grain of rice or eight finished their doomed course on the cotton sheets.

Between two bites, Jon stole a glance to Lin and chewed on his lip for a moment. The silence stretched out just long enough for Lin to look up at him and frown slightly once he noticed the uncertainty painted across Jon’s soft features.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Jon started quietly before he took a deep breath, trying to find the boldness he required to confess whatever was on his mind. “I never told anyone that I loved them before, so doing it on Friday morning, so terribly out of the blue without me planning it ahead, it scared the living hell out me. And once it was out there I just… Every part of my brain was yelling at me to bolt and I panicked and I ran and I’m sorry about that,” he admitted, talking as fast as he could. Even if, in the end, his fastest wasn’t quick enough to make it impossible for Lin to understand him.

Lin stared at him, his fork halfway between his mouth and the plastic container. He slowly put it down, abandoning the bite he had been eager to eat with a small pout. In his defence, Julie’s food really was amazing, which made him extremely excited for the upcoming weekend.

“Can I ask why it scared you? You knew I’d say it back, I hadn't exactly kept that a secret,” Lin said instead of keeping his daydream about Julie’s food going, making Jon pick at a loose thread.

Jon frowned, trying to put his thoughts into words, which had sadly never been his forte. “You have to understand where I come from for it to make sense. Lancaster… It’s not…” Jon sighed in frustration at his lack of eloquence. “It’s not as liberal as New York, I guess. I mean, sure, I had a couple of boyfriends in high school but… I always considered the fact that I might have been nothing more than an experiment to them, might not have been anything other than a secret to be kept for behind the bleachers. I mean… None of them ever took me to meet their parents, you know? None of them ever told me they loved me, not even anything remotely close to it, so I kept my feelings for myself. I fell hard for some of them but... It never seemed like the right thing to say or like it was the right time to admit it. And… I don’t know. Seeing you having a full blown panic attack at the idea of losing me stirred something inside, sent some kind of signal to my brain, as awful as that might sound. I’m used to pushing my feelings back, I’ve kept them bottled up for so long, that I think I did it again out of pure reflex, entirely unconsciously, until we were at the airport and all of a sudden, that clearly couldn't be an option anymore. Wasn't fair to you, wasn’t fair of me to not give us a chance.”

Lin reached out and took the Tupperware from Jon, putting it away as he sat up as close to him as he could. He brought one hand up to Jon’s jaw, gently turning his head toward him, the other taking hold of one of Jon’s hands.

“First off, rude. They should have taken you to meet their parents the second you said ‘yes’ to ‘will you be my boyfriend?’.”

“That's not how it works in Amish County, Lin,” Jon interrupted, sadly.

“Second off,” Lin continued, undisturbed, “I never want you to feel like you have to keep your feelings buried inside of you. Ever. Especially not in front of me.” He didn't say life was too short for that kind of bullshit, mainly because that idiom hit way too close to home, but it was very much in his thoughts. “And third off… I’m sorry it took a panic attack in the middle of the desert in Nevada, but I’ve never really been one to question the stuff that feels good, and everything about this does, so I just went along with it and I’m willing to let it happen, now… I’m not wasting time. I'm not wasting _our_ time. I love you and I want to love you for as long as you'll let me, and even then, even if we get divorced or shit happens, there'll be a place for you in my heart. _Para siempre_ ; means _forever_ ,” Lin translated for Jon's benefit. “Tell me that you'll let me? That you love me? Please?”

Silence hung heavy between them until Jon spoke again, his eyes glassy with unshed tears.

“I love you. And I want to, I want to be loved by you. Will you let me do the same for you?” Jon wondered, staring into Lin's eyes and smiling softly in response when Lin nodded and squeezed his hand. “Tell me… Lin?” Jon asked, hesitantly.

“What is it, beautiful?”

“Why do you keep asking? Ever since I’ve said I love you, you’ve asked me to repeat it.”

Sadness seemed to engulf Lin and weigh him down all of a sudden, giving Jon the distinct feeling that Lin’s answer was going to tear him apart. Lin gently stroked Jon’s cheekbone with his thumb and Jon couldn’t help but lean into the touch, closing his eyes. Lin entertained the idea of keeping his reasons for himself for a split second, but it didn’t seem fair after Jon’s admission.

“Because I’m afraid I’ll lose you. Because I’m afraid I won’t have heard you say it nearly often enough if the absolute worst was to happen. Because I want it to be engraved in my brain, even if it means begging you to tell me a hundred times a day. I’ll never let you go through this alone, but if this only goes downhill from here − and I pray to Gods I don't believe in that it doesn’t, but if it does − then I want to be able to draw my strength from all the times I’ve heard you tell me that you loved me. I want to draw my strength from the smile that graces your lips every time you say it. If I have to go on without you, that’s how I want to remember you forever: carefree, smiling, and telling me you love me.”

Jon’s eyes tightened before a tear started rolling down his cheek, followed by another and another. Jon surged forward to kiss Lin, but before long, a sob escaped his lips, breaking them apart. Lin moved his hand to the back of Jon’s head, his fingertips lightly digging in the crevice at the base of Jon’s skull.

“Fuck, pretty boy. No, please. Don’t cry,” Lin said as he tilted Jon’s head forward, resting their foreheads against each other’s.

“I’m so sorry, you deserve so much better than this,” Jon forced out.

“I don’t,” Lin replied with conviction. “You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, Jonathan Miranda-Groff. Don't you ever put yourself down. Don't you ever doubt this.”

“I love you,” Jon said quietly, taking a deep breath. He was tired of tears, so sick of it all. He wanted to be how Lin wanted to remember him: carefree and smiling. And loving him.

“So do I, pretty boy. More than you know.” Lin smiled and gave Jon a quick kiss. "Come on. Let's get back to that delicious chicken your Ma made for us before it gets too cold and you have to abandon me again to warm it back up?"

“Way to ruin the mood,” Jon commented with a weak chuckle, playfully shoving Lin away.

As it turned out, the food had grown somewhat cold and so, to get back at him, Jon sent Lin to the kitchen to warm it up again while he went into the bathroom to splash some much needed water on his face. The rest of the day was spent in awfully domestic situations − watching a movie curled up on the couch together after they’d brought the comforter in the living room, getting some more food and taking a long, hot shower. They fell into an easy rhythm, what would soon become _their_ rhythm, but for now, they were just figuring it all out.

By the time Tuesday rolled around, Lin had no other choice but to leave. He had a meeting for _In The Heights_ and he was running out of clean clothes. Jon used the free time to go and stock up on food again, tried his best to give his life a pretence of normalcy again after the exhausting few weeks he’d just gone through. Anything to make him feel the smallest bit like himself once more. He made sure to buy enough food for two. Maybe he wouldn’t admit it to himself, it was too much to think about, but he was hoping that Lin would spend as much time at his apartment as possible. Maybe if they decided to go to Lin’s for a bit, he could just bring leftovers over there − Lin was probably out of everything edible too. He couldn’t quite tell if the scary part was how much he wanted him there, or if it had to do with how terrified he was of Lin _not_ being there, of being alone with himself and his thoughts.

They agreed they’d meet in front of Jon’s doctor’s office on Wednesday, Jon reminding him more than once − and therefore betraying the nervousness he was starting to feel − that his appointment was at ten and that he needed Lin to be there at the latest around a quarter to ten. He didn’t think that Lin would miss this − he knew he’d rather die than to miss it − but he also knew that time, the way it worked, was something which Lin hadn’t quite figured out yet, maybe never would. Which truly only meant that Jon would have to keep an eye on their finances, the cooking, and time as a whole to make sure they weren't always late to everything. He could do that. Probably. Hopefully they were going to be able to afford being fashionably late to a couple of events throughout the upcoming years.

Jon spent most of the night tossing and turning, partly because Lin wasn’t there for him to hold on to, but mostly due to the many emotions swirling inside of him. He dreaded his appointment more than he had let on, terrified as he was of whatever the doctor had to tell him. He’d love to debate with anyone that yes, it could in fact become much worse than just ‘You have cancer’. Being told just how bad it was, for example, was an excellent way to make the whole thing worse. His chances of one day being cancer-free again were either going to make it worse or better. (He was sincerely hoping for better. But then again, who wouldn’t?)

It was half an hour before his appointment when Jon got to the doctor’s office. A good fifteen minutes passed before Lin showed up. Jon never really saw himself using a cell phone all that much, but he had never wished for one as much as he did during the excruciating lifetime between their respective arrivals to the office. He paced nervously on the sidewalk, running his hands into his hair more often than not, and he must have looked more like a mess than he thought, because the only thing that Lin said when he finally got there was “oh, sweetheart,” before he pulled him into a tight embrace. It was probably not Lin’s plan to make him burst into tears within a minute of them being reunited, but it took every filament of self-discipline for Jon to keep his sobs inside his chest.

It took Lin another ten minutes before he managed to coax him inside, and maybe it was true that doctors were always late, but this wasn’t the kind of appointment Jon could afford to be late for. Two more minutes were spent blankly staring at the door before Jon breathed in deeply, turned the knob and walked in, Lin in tow. Lin made him take his jacket off, sit down, and registered him with the receptionist before he sat next to him, linking their fingers together. Lin finally took in Jon’s appearance for the first time and he’d be lying if he said the whole picture wasn’t disheartening.

Jon had the faintest hint of dark circles colouring his skin but was otherwise as pale as a ghost; his eyes were darker than usual and the saturation was gone from them. He hadn't shaved in too many days, and every fiber of his being screamed of the exhaustion that could only come from the wear and tear of stress on his body. Lin noticed he was trembling very lightly, as if Jon was aware of it and doing everything in his power to suppress it. Lin desperately wanted to provide some reassuring sweet nothings, but he was at a total loss. He wasn’t sure there was anything that could make Jon feel any better at the moment. Well, no. That wasn’t true. He knew exactly what could be said that would make Jon feel better instantly, but he wasn’t the one who could say it; wasn’t the one who had gone through years of medical school. In all honesty, it made him feel desperately helpless, and _that_ might just have been the worst feeling Lin had to experience to date.

Lin squeezed Jon’s hand and brought it to his lips, pressing a quick kiss against his knuckles. Just as he dropped their hands back onto his lap, the door leading to the back offices opened and a man in his fifties walked out, nose in the manila file he was holding.

“Jonathan Groff?” the doctor asked, making Jon jump in his seat and look up. “Please, follow me,” the man added and Lin stood, lightly tugging on Jon’s arm who refused to move.

“My… My boyfriend can come with us, right?” Jon asked in a small voice, stammering over his words.

The doctor glanced at Lin, clearly an out of habit kind of thing rather than a judgmental one, and smiled as he looked back to Jon.

“Of course, Mr. Groff,” Lin had to bite his tongue not to correct him, “far be it from me to take away whatever support system works for you.”

Jon went easily this time when Lin pulled him up, almost too easily. He’d been expecting a bit more reluctance from his husband than he had gotten, which nearly sent them both tumbling to the floor. Lin liked to think that the only reason Jon had refused to stand up the first time around was only because he wasn’t sure the doctor would allow Lin to come in as well. All three men walked in silence to the office and the man let them settle in as he did the same, smiling kindly all the while.

“My name is Doctor John Garrett. Your physician, Doctor Willis, transferred your case to me. She felt I was in a better position to help than she could.”

“And can you?” Lin asked, only half registering that he had rudely interrupted him.

Dr. Garrett gave a small laugh and turned his attention to Lin.

“Now, the reaction I got from him,” he pointed to Jon, “in the waiting room leads me to believe that he is my patient. May I get your name before I answer that?”

Lin thought for a fleeting second that his answer ought to have sounded condescending, but the smile on the doctor's face was nothing but warm. He introduced himself and Dr. Garrett’s smile grew in acknowledgement before it turned somber.

“To answer your question Mr. Miranda, yes, I believe I can. As it turns out, this is much more prevention on Dr. Willis’ part than anything more dire. For the time being at least.”

“So it isn't…?” Jon asked, unable to finish his sentence.

“It still is cancer, I'm afraid,” Dr. Garrett said, finishing Jon's question with what he'd been asked the most often over the years. “But it's not in a life-threatening stage, yet.”

“So he can be cured?” Lin asked, hopeful.

“Cured is not a word I like for cancer. You can never be certain that it won't come back at a later stage in life. But this is a discussion to be held once Mr. Groff is in remission.”

“What if I want to have it now?” Lin defied and Jon squeezed his hand as the doctor raised an eyebrow.

“Lin, please,” Jon begged quietly and Lin's temper died as quickly as it had flared.

“I'm sorry, doctor,” he apologized.

“Don't worry, I've seen far worse reactions,” Dr. Garrett replied softly, compassion surrounding his words.

It came to Lin's attention that this man was right. He dealt with cancer patients and their families every day, multiple times a day. He must have seen every reaction there was in the book and challenging him, being petulant, wasn't going to get them anywhere.

“As I was saying, Dr. Willis thought it would be safer to act now since she was concerned over some of your freckles, Mr. Groff. It came to my understanding that you have many of them, but some were worrisome. Dr. Willis was supposed to join us today in order to point them out to me, but some kind of emergency came up at the last minute, unfortunately.”

The rest of the sentence flew right above Jon's head. All he could think about was the word freckles. His _freckles_. The ones Lin loved so much. He had so many of them. How were the doctors going to be able to differentiate the bad ones from the good? What if they missed one and it spread and worsened his condition?

_Freckles. Freckles. Freckles._

He could see that Lin was talking, but he couldn't make out the words to save himself, spiraling into his thoughts as he was.

_Freckles. Freckles. Freckles._

Jon could almost see the damn word circling around him, glowing like a blazing fire. There was nothing warm or soft about it, either. It was harsh and scalding, almost painful to see and hear on a loop in his mind.

_Freckles. Freckles. Freckles._

Without him truly understanding why, nor how, Jon found himself on his feet, Lin standing in front of him and Dr. Garrett a few steps behind. He was vaguely aware of Lin addressing him, but he just stared blankly, his brows furrowed as if he was trying to understand what Lin had said. He couldn't.

_Freckles. Freckles. Freckles._

There was something clinical, almost cold, in the way Lin removed his button down and, by the time Jon's brain caught on, Lin had already taken hold of the hem of his undershirt, waiting on him to lift his arms. He was blinded for a second or two, the necessary time to pass his shirt over his head, and yet, it had been long enough for him to see that damn word blazing even harder in the darkness.

_Freckles. Freckles. Freckles._

Dr. Garrett stepped forward then, pulling his glasses out of his breast pocket and slipping them on as he did so. He'd somehow produced a pen and a clipboard, probably from the depth of his desk, and Lin took both of Jon's hands in his, his thumbs rubbing soothingly over Jon's knuckles. Jon tried to focus on the movement, but all he could hear was the doctor scribbling notes from behind his back. It was unnerving, to say the least. It resulted in him staring at Lin, looking very much so like a deer caught in headlights.

_Freckles. Freckles. Freckles._

If anything, Lin's rapt gaze was the only thing anchoring Jon to the moment, the only thing keeping him from flying off completely. He knew without the shadow of a doubt that letting Lin come with him was the best decision he could have made in these circumstances. He wouldn’t have made it alone. He wouldn’t have registered anything the doctor said. How did it even cross his mind that he could? That he was going to be fine, that it would have been the right thing to do? No. That it would have been the _brave_ thing to do. As if the thought of having to be brave right now wasn’t the most fucked up idea he’d had in a long time.

_Freckles. Freckles. Freckles._

The doctor stepped around him, examined his right shoulder, scribbled more and then did the same on his left side. Jon wondered if he shouldn’t feel self-conscious at all under the doctor’s scrutinizing eyes, but, before he could try to focus on that thought rather than the ones already occupying his brain, Lin let go of one of his hands and moved aside, allowing Dr. Garrett to examine Jon's chest. Jon’s eyes followed Lin’s, unable to break contact. They’d lose him to a panic attack if he did. Once he was satisfied, the doctor walked back to his desk, reading over his notes as Lin handed his undershirt back to Jon. He dressed himself back in silence, slowly working through the motions. He gave up on buttoning his shirt when he saw how badly his hands were shaking.

_Freckles. Freckles. Freckles._

Dr. Garrett spoke some more, Lin nodding along to almost everything he was saying. Jon caught a few words here and there − _operation_ a condamnation, _nothing drastic_ a reassurance, _no chemo?_ a question, _no chemo_ an affirmation, a breath of relief − but that was about it. He tried to see the positive side of it all, at least he was coming back. At least he wasn’t only focusing on the source of his problem anymore. It was still there, it was still nagging at the forefront of his mind, but _he was coming back_. The doctor’s words didn't make much sense to him, but he trusted that they did to Lin, it certainly seemed like they did, and that he'd explain it all to him once Jon could understand it. Lin was here. That was all that mattered in the end. Lin was here, he’d help Jon make sense of it all and he’d hold Jon’s hand through it all.

_Freckles. Freckles. Freckles._

Lin asked more questions and Jon realized they were about his career, on the impacts the operation could have on his performances. Jon swallowed hard and tuned them out. He didn’t want to hear that. Not now, not yet. Instead, he marveled at the fact that he had enough control over his brain and his thoughts again to _consciously choose_ to tune something out. It was better than he could say over the however long minutes it had been.

Lin stood and coaxed Jon into doing the same, reaching out to shake Dr. Garrett’s hand warmly. Jon imitated him, the light elbowing in his ribs Lin provided forcing him to. The doctor handed Lin one of his business cards so they could call him if they had any questions or concerns, and he walked them back to the front area office, leaving them with his receptionist, Nancy, to book the next appointment. Lin helped Jon into his jacket, shrugged his own on and linked their fingers to guide him outside of the building.

_Freckles... Freckles... Freckles..._

Jon took a deep breath of fresh air, if you could call it that, the second he stepped outside and it felt like waking up from a dream. A terrible, horrifying dream, but a dream nonetheless. Slowly, the never ending litany of ' _Freckles. Freckles. Freckles._ ’ faded into the background, replaced by the constant noises of the city that never slept. _Freckles._ A car, a cab most likely, honked farther down the avenue. _Freckles._ Traffic was humming as it always did, becoming louder and louder as they approached the avenue’s street corner. Lin flagged a cab. One stopped right in front of them. _Freckles._ Above all of the white noise that had taken weeks for Jon to grow accustomed to, Lin’s voice rang, clear as day, giving his address to the driver. The car smoothly merged into traffic and Jon sagged against Lin, breathing harder and deeper than he probably should be considering his lack of recent exertion.

“Talk to me,” Jon asked in a whisper and Lin looked at him, concern drawn all over his features.

“What about?”

“Anything. Drown the noise here,” Jon lightly tapped his temple and Lin immediately started rambling, telling him everything remotely interesting that had happened during his meeting the previous day, told Jon about the shirt Lacamoire had gotten him as a funny wedding gift, until he could find something better for the two of them. Lin retold Alex’s promise to hold off on the blender and the toaster unless they became his last viable options. Or if Lin destroyed his again.

Jon focused on Lin’s voice, he didn't care what he said, didn't have it in him to process his sentences as coherent pieces of information. He just wanted Lin’s voice to be inescapable, to take up all the free space in his brain and then some. He didn't pay attention to the streets passing by, neighbourhood after neighbourhood, just focused on Lin’s words, syllables that blended together in the easy rhythm that was so characteristic of Lin. He felt like he might be a hundred years old by the time they reached his apartment and he switched off every light switch he could find in his mind as they walked up the stairs, one foot in front of the other, one switch after the other. Lin took care of their jackets, their boots, grabbed water and silently walked Jon to his bedroom. He stopped once they got by his bed, and Lin turned around to grab his face, cradling his cheekbones in his soft palms. Jon felt so much smaller than he really was. The solid weight of Lin in front of him was the only thing keeping him from bursting at the seams. He closed his eyes and Lin brushed the tip of his nose against Jon’s in a silent plea before he kissed him in response to Jon pressing into the touch.

They breathed each other in for maybe centuries, Jon would defend it in court. Lin walked him through the motions of taking his clothes off and guided Jon into his bed, but Jon didn't want anyone looking at his body, not now, not his freckles, so he pulled the duvet around him like it was armour strong enough to fight off the most relentless of armies. Lin slid in after Jon and arranged himself underneath his body, pulling him in close and refusing to let go.

Jon’s mind was still off and he drifted in and out of a dazed sleep, always somewhat aware of the not-once-relenting movements of Lin’s fingertips against his scalp and of Lin’s voice singing softly into his ear. Jon had latched onto him the second Lin got into bed, he'd never needed to feel someone else’s skin against his as much as he did Lin’s, and even though their bodies were lined up and Jon was moulding himself against Lin’s bones, he couldn't seem to get enough. He held on, held onto Lin as if his life depended on it – and if anything, today had been the proof that it did. He squeezed his arms as much as he could around Lin’s waist and swore to heaven and hell that he'd never let go if he could help it.

Lin, however, couldn’t sleep. He knew Jon wasn’t exactly getting a restful nap, but at least he was finally out cold. In the meantime, his very own thoughts were running away from him and that… That had the potential to be scary. Terrifying. Maybe he'd always been prone to big ideas, it was just how he operated, he saw the full potential of everything, and then some, all the time. But that meant that, in a situation like this… ‘and then some’ was not a good thought. Far from it.

He stayed in bed for as long as he could, letting Jon cling onto him as much as he needed to. In exchange, Lin kept singing whatever came to his mind, switching from English to Spanish and back to English whenever his mind took him there, trying his best to avoid his thoughts. Jon unconsciously rolled over at some point and Lin took advantage of that to slip out of bed. He was starving, hadn’t gotten breakfast − let alone anything remotely close to lunch − and it was already closing in on one in the afternoon. He quietly slipped out of bed and out of the room, a miracle in and by itself, quickly glancing over his shoulder to ensure Jon was still asleep. Lin’s heart swelled at the sight of him curled up in his bed, looking as at home in it as if it was his own. He had been right in Vegas: Jon was quite the sight in _his_ bed.

He got himself some toast – the best he could do, all things considered – and went back into his room, settling down by Jon’s feet with his laptop in front of him. He found himself thinking about Jon’s eyes, about these pools of blue that he wouldn’t mind drowning in. He’d never held back on the fact that they really were what won him over the first morning when Jon walked over him with such intent, such intensity in his gaze. There were a couple of lines in _Sunrise_ that he wanted, _needed_ , to change. He decided that he wouldn't tell Jon until he'd seen the musical, would make it a story for the after-party. Maybe he’d get Lac or Tommy to drop a hint that Nina hadn’t always been teaching Benny the Spanish word for blue, that back at Wesleyan it had been an entirely different colour. Hopefully Jon would see it as a sweet gesture on Lin’s part, just like he did.

He worked on some lyrics and transitions, editing here and there, making the ensemble harmonies a bit tighter and more complete as per Lac’s recommendations the day prior, slowly hammering away at his musical until Jon started stirring. Lin quietly shut his laptop and set it on the floor gently before he crawled up the bed, pressing a kiss to Jon’s cheek. He felt like Jon had been so far away from him lately, first geographically, _physically_ , then emotionally – he just wanted to be with him and enjoy his company, worry free as they could be, for a while.

“Hey, pretty boy. Good morning… Or well, afternoon, really,” Lin greeted him as he settled on his side in front of Jon, smiling.

“Can it really be good?” Jon asked in return before he could bite it back. He shifted to look away from Lin, trying to spare his feelings.

“We can make it so, yeah, I think.” Lin brought a hand up to stroke lovingly at the side of Jon’s face. _Pretty, pretty, pretty._

Jon wasn’t sure he could believe it. He gave a long sigh and looked back up, chewing on his lip.

“I’m sorry. I’m usually in a far better mood this close to Thanksgiving,” Jon admitted. Holidays always had a way to cheer him up, even the more mundane ones. Lin moved in closer and softly kissed him.

“Don’t worry about it, okay? And it’s okay too if you don’t want to come tomorrow, I’m sure everyone will understand,” Lin tried, making Jon’s eyes widen.

“No,” he replied categorically, shaking his head as much as he could while still laying down. “No way. I want to go. Please?” Jon begged. “It means so much to me,” he added in a whisper and Lin was immediately taken back to their discussion on Monday. He refused to take that away from Jon.

“Nothing would make me happier than to see you at the Miranda table tomorrow night,” Lin swore, bringing a hand to his heart and lifting the other off of Jon’s cheek. Having noticed the way Jon tried to follow his hand before he stopped himself, Lin put it right back after he was done with his solemn declaration and smiled. “I never want you to feel obligated to come to our weekly dinners if you don’t feel well, okay? And you should never feel bad for asking me to stay home with you if you need me to. Can you promise me that, pretty boy?”

Jon nodded and Lin frowned for a split second.

“Words, please. I need to hear you say it.”

“I promise I’ll tell you if I’m not feeling well and I need you to stay with me,” Jon promised and Lin beamed, giving him a quick kiss.

“The day is still young by New York’s standards, kind of. Is there anything you’d like to do?”

Jon thought about it for a couple of minutes, getting distracted by Lin’s soothing strokes of his thumb on his cheek.

“Could we go for a walk in Central Park? I haven’t had the chance to explore it as much as I would have liked to, yet.”

“Anything you want,” Lin said with a soft smile playing on his lips. Jon looked pensive for a moment as he glanced at Lin’s lips.

“Kiss me?” Jon asked in a quiet whisper.

“That I can certainly do,” Lin replied as he leaned forward.

Jon closed his eyes and parted his lips in anticipation. He let out a content sigh as Lin pressed his lips against his, both allowing themselves to get lost in the sensations. With some difficulties, Jon managed to free his arm from the duvet, moving his hand straight to the back of Lin's head, his fingers twisting into the soft hair at Lin's nape, and gave Lin's head just enough of a push to finally, _finally_ , properly feel his husband's lips against his.

As Lin pulled away from the kiss, he let his teeth drag against Jon's bottom lip, making him groan and surge up to bring Lin back into another kiss. It didn't matter that their breaths were coming up short, Jon needed to push his thoughts aside, he needed Lin to make him feel, to make him forget, to drown the worries that were taking roots in his mind. He moved to press their bodies closer, slowly growing annoyed with the fact that Lin was laying on top of the covers while he was still wrapped in them.

"Come on, pretty boy," Lin gasped after he broke away. "I thought you wanted to go for a walk?"

"Later," Jon replied, his voice muffled by the kisses he was pressing against Lin's neck and underside of his jaw, anywhere he could reach.

Lin huffed a breath through his nose and he willed himself to detach himself from Jon and gently push him away.

"Jon, sweetheart, I love you, you know that, but..."

"But what?" Jon interrupted as he tried to follow Lin.

"This... This doesn't feel right," Lin admitted.

"Why?" Jon whined.

"Because I feel like I'm taking advantage of your emotional state and that's not right. That's not what we should want for the both of us, don't you think so?" Lin offered, trying to reason with Jon.

Jon blinked slowly, moving his head back so he could take all of Lin in. Lin’s rejection should have stung, it should have hurt like his experiences in high school had, it should have made him feel resigned or angry. Instead, all Jon could feel was the love and adoration radiating from Lin. Lin wasn’t pushing him away to hurt him, he was doing it because he genuinely cared about Jon and about his well-being. Jon felt overwhelmed by emotions all over again and he pressed a short but tender kiss to Lin’s lips.

“You’re right. Thank you,” Jon said quietly.

“Anytime. Let’s get dressed and explore Central Park, yeah?”

Jon nodded and slipped out of bed. He still wasn’t feeling quite as comfortable in his skin as he used to, but he had faith that Lin’s love would eventually make it all right. He kept his back to Lin as he dressed, however, unsure he could handle Lin’s intense gaze on him right now. It still felt like it was too much.

Lin got them a cab to go from his apartment to Central Park, easily coming up with a thousand different reasons when Jon asked why they couldn't simply walk over there. He didn't argue any more and let Lin lead the way to the park as well as once they were in. They walked around hand in hand, Lin pulling him to some of his favourite spots and getting them a cup of coffee and a sandwich from a vendor when it became obvious that Jon was starving, a fact that had somehow eluded both of them until they walked by the aforementioned vendor. All in all, Jon would declare this a perfect way to spend the afternoon together.

By the time the sun started setting – earlier and earlier, noticeably, with every new November day – they were ready to go home. Jon didn't protest the cab ride this time, all he could think of was Lin’s bed, Lin’s sheets, Lin’s pillows. Lin. He rested his head on Lin’s shoulder in the back of the car for the short ride home, holding onto Lin’s hands in his lap. They made it quietly to the stairs, to Lin’s doorstep, in his apartment, and Jon didn't need to be coaxed into removing his jacket and Lin’s scarf. (That scarf? Yeah, Lin was probably never getting it back if Jon had a say in it. Except maybe a couple of days every now and then, just so it would smell of Lin again.)

Without a word, he made a straight line to Lin’s bedroom and shed his clothes without much ceremony until he was clad in nothing but his underwear, then slid right at home under the covers, pulling the sheets up to his chin and covering his eyes with a pillow, resting his arms atop it. He was tired, emotionally exhausted, ready to just drown out the world and his thoughts with it. He was vaguely aware of Lin following in his steps until he felt the bed dipping to the side.

“My love.” A whisper, then silence again.

Jon felt the blanket being pulled away to let Lin underneath with him. Lin’s weight on his lap, his knees caging his hips in. He sat back on Jon’s legs and wrapped a hand gently on each of Jon’s forearms, pulling them up and out enough to be able to remove the pillow. Jon rested his hands on Lin’s bare hips and they locked eyes for just a moment, every word they'd ever spoken or hadn't dared upended, immobile between them, and time didn't matter. Lin dipped his head slowly, rested his lips for a soft kiss on Jon’s forehead, wrapped his arms to cradle Jon’s head, and moved to hide his face in the crook of Jon’s neck. Lin was entirely wrapped around him, and maybe that would be enough to keep him safe, maybe they’d never have to move again, maybe Lin could be his shield against adversity. They fell asleep that night holding tightly onto each other.

As the sun climbed higher up in the sky, Jon needed a couple of minutes to figure out why he couldn’t move. That, and why was he so warm, until he cracked an eye open and saw nothing but black hair and golden skin, Lin pressed to his side. He smiled and gave Lin’s body a squeeze, enjoying the moment for everything that it was, from the quiet of the room to Lin’s deep breathing and the warmth of the bed. He had always been a morning person, didn’t really have much of a choice on the matter with the farm, but he decided that his mornings were infinitely better if he got to wake up next to Lin. He hesitated for a minute or two between staying in and getting up to make coffee, ultimately choosing to be selfish for once and snuggling closer to his husband for a few more minutes before he set on waking him up.

Lin wasn’t an easy person to rouse, as it turned out, but that only meant Jon was all the more determined to do it. There was a chance, as it swiftly crossed Jon’s mind, that Lin might be the type of person who wouldn’t wake up if a burglar was stealing his bed frame. Or if his house caught fire. He dropped the thought right away, refusing to dwell on it. Besides, who could blame him for wanting to press as many kisses as he could to his husband’s skin?

He did eventually manage to wake Lin, although it might be kind of a stretch to say he was _awake_ , per se.

“Coffee, lovebird? How does that sound?” Jon offered, nudging the underside of Lin’s jaw with the tip of his nose.

“Great but terrible if I have to move,” Lin mumbled in response, pressing himself closer to Jon.

“And if I take care of it, because I’m the greatest husband on this planet?”

“Then I might cry out of how grateful I am for you.”

“Well, it _is_ Thanksgiving. If you have to choose any day to be grateful for me, today’s the perfect one to do so,” Jon teased as he pressed one last kiss to the soft skin on the underside of Lin’s chin and untangled himself from his body.

Lin pulled the sheets right back up to his chin the second Jon was gone - he refused to let go of the sweet, sweet warmth enveloping him − and nearly fell back asleep in the time it took Jon to enter the room with two steamy mugs of amazingly aromatic coffee.

Jon enjoyed watching Lin’s face gradually, but oh so clearly, come back to the realm of the living. They sat in easy silence for what was probably hours, small talk here and there, but mostly just basking into each other’s presence. Jon stayed in bed reading one of Lin’s books − anything but _Harry Potter_ − while Lin worked on some of _In the Heights_ , only getting up when he needed water or food. The hours passed lazily by them until the sun was shining high in the sky and it was all but time for them to get ready for dinner at the Mirandas.

Since Jon hadn’t planned on spending the night at Lin’s, he had to go back home to get ready, feeling terrible for having to decline Lin’s offer of lending him some clothes. He would gladly have taken him up on his offer hadn’t it been for the fact that he had a gift for Mrs. Miranda at his apartment and he wasn’t sure he wanted to meet his in-laws wearing clothes they had seen his husband wear in the past. He did, however, want to make a good first impression.

After checking in with Lin to make sure he wouldn’t be overdressed − or worse _under_ dressed − and one last quick kiss, Jon went home, mentally going through the list of everything he had to do and prepare before meeting the Mirandas.

Shower. Check. Shave. Check. Get dressed. Check. Tame his curls somewhat. Check… kind of. Put the jam jars in a gift bag. Check. Try to find an open florist. Check. Fail miserably. Not part of the plan, but check anyway. Be mad at himself for not planning this through a little better. Check. Vow to open a flower shop that he’d keep open on big holidays for all the poor chaps meeting their in-laws once he was too old for Broadway and acting. Check. Call Lin to let him know he was on his way back to his place. Check. Blame cancer for not having flowers for his mother-in-law. Check.

Lin was waiting on the sidewalk when the cab pulled over and he quickly hopped in, giving his parents’ address in Inwood to the driver. It took him a minute to notice the gift bag sitting between them and he reached for it, his curiosity getting the best of him. Jon snatched it out off his hands before he could look through it.

“No,” Jon said, stern as he could be.

“What’s in it?” Lin asked.

“I’m not telling. It’s for your parents, not for you.”

Lin pouted and tried to use his puppy eyes against his husband, but Jon would not budge, kept saying that Lin could see once his parents had opened the gift, not a minute before. He tried distracting Lin by opening his jacket, showing him the shirt he was wearing.

“Is that okay or is it too much?” Jon asked, nervousness tinting his voice.

Lin took in the whole picture, the dark wash jeans, the light blue gingham button down, the way it accentuated Jon’s eyes and it was all he could do not to dramatically swoon.

“You look absolutely perfect,” Lin reassured him, gently squeezing his hand.

Jon offered Lin a tentative smile, his nerves slowly getting the best of him with the farther north their cab was driving. In many ways, Inwood was a neighbourhood typical of Manhattan. Shops on the ground level of the busiest streets, apartments on the higher floors, housing buildings deeper into the neighbourhood. Their cab stopped in front of such a building and they split the cost of the ride, Jon sliding out of the car followed by Lin, who took his hand and led him to the right building.

They were buzzed in by someone in the apartment and with every new step and every floor passed by the elevator, Lin grew more and more excited. If this was how Lin acted for Thanksgiving, Jon had the feeling it was going to be even more amped up for Christmas. Lin pulled him out of the elevator, guided him down the hallway and opened the door to his parent’s home, Jon in tow, bursting through with his usual enthusiasm.

“Hello, hello, hello! We’re here!” Lin called in a sing-song voice, smiling brightly.

The door wasn’t even closed behind them yet that Miguel, Lin’s three year-old nephew, came running into the entryway throwing himself at Lin who swiftly caught him, lifting him up and making him giggle as he did so.

“Hey there, little rascal!” Lin greeted before he hugged him tightly and set him against his side, Miguel clinging onto his neck.

Jon looked upon the interaction with a soft smile playing on his lips until he caught Lin’s nephew staring at him with wide eyes and he waved a little, making Miguel squeal and hide in Lin’s neck.

“Tío, ¿quién es él?” Miguel asked shyly.

“Una persona muy especial para mí,” Lin replied softly, looking over his shoulder to smile at Jon. But, before he could formally introduce them − and in English for Jon’s benefits − Lin’s sister Luz came barreling into the small and already crammed space.

“Where is my brother-in-law?!” Luz yelled, startling Jon while Lin laughed.

As soon as she rounded the corner and spotted Jon, she squealed, went straight to him and pulled him into a hug, planting a loud kiss on his cheek. Jon looked at Lin completely bewildered. Slightly scared. He wasn’t sure what he had expected when he had agreed (demanded, really) to come to dinner, but he knew for a fact that nothing else would have made sense other than the whirlwind in which he already found himself swept in. He could only hope that Lin wasn’t going to find his family extremely boring in comparison.

“¡Ay! Will you give him a second before you scare him off? I don't want him to swear off the Miranda dinners forever, not before his first one even started!”

Luz waved her brother off and pulled away from the hug, keeping Jon at arms’ length.

“Let me look at you,” she said instead, bringing a hand to his jaw to tilt his head down a little. “I’ll give you this, hermano mío, he’s quite the looker.” Jon blushed at the praise, biting his lip as he looked away.

Lin was just about to reply, and really, it was almost insulting that his very own sister didn’t think him capable of finding himself a good looking man, when their mother came into the entryway as well, wooden spoon in hand.

“What are you all doing in here? Come on in! Lin-Manuel Miranda, do you…”

“It’s Miranda- _Groff_ now! How many times am I going to have to tell you? Because I’m pretty sure I told you the exact same thing last weekend!” Lin whined, interrupting his mother.

Luz sent Lin a scolding look that had his sister snickering into her hand and he shook his head disapprovingly at her.

“Lin-Manuel Miranda-Groff,” Luz started over, using their hyphenated names to entertain her son and make sure he wasn’t going to interrupt her again, “do you have any manners at all? Take your husband’s coat off and go put it on our bed with the others.”

“Can I point out the irony of how you didn’t use my new full name and yet talked about my husband in the next sentence? Because it’s pretty funny to me,” Lin said as he handed Miguel to his sister, annoying his mother even more.

“Good luck managing to handle _that_ ,” Luz said conspiratorially to Jon, waving a hand in her brother’s direction before she took her son in her arms, who still couldn’t tear his gaze away from Jon.

“I like to think I’m doing fine, all things considered,” Jon replied.

“Oh! He speaks!” Luz exclaimed at the same time as Lin pressed a kiss to his cheek saying “You’re doing great,” and Jon blushed.

Luz cleared her throat, spurring her son into action, just as her daughter retreated into the living room, calling something out in Spanish that made Lin laugh.

“Alright, alright! Here, pretty boy, gimme your coat,” Lin said as he shrugged his own coat off.

“I can help,” Jon offered as he took his coat off and handed it over to Lin.

“Nonsense, mijo,” Luz replied as she took a hold of Jon’s arm and pulled him deeper into the house with her. For his part, Jon barely had enough time to cast a nervous glance at Lin before he was already out of sight, having ducked into the hallway.

Jon was quickly learning that Luz Miranda was not a woman to whom one could say no, despite her petite frame. She was ridiculously tiny next to him, would end up looking even tinier as he grew and filled up over the years, but for now, Jon couldn’t think anything other than the fact that he already liked this woman a lot, basing his opinion off of what Lin had told him about her and the three sentences they’d exchanged so far.

As he found himself standing in the Miranda’s kitchen, the smells of everything Luz had been spending the day cooking engulfed him and it was all he could do to stop himself from straight up salivating on the counter.

“It smells amazing in here, ma’am,” Jon complimented her politely, meaning every word nonetheless. It suddenly dawned on him that he was still holding the hostess gift he had for her. “Oh! I brought you this, ma’am, to thank you for having me. It was a bit short notice, I'm sorry about that,” Jon apologized, handing the gift bag to Mrs Miranda.

Luz smiled as she took the bag from him, setting it down on the counter. Instead of opening it, she brought a hand to Jon's jaw and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you, mijo, but it wasn't necessary. Have you ever heard of running out of food on Thanksgiving?” Luz asked with a teasing smile. Jon could tell without the shadow of a doubt that Lin had his mother’s smile.

Jon gave a small laugh. “I must admit that I have not, ma’am,” he replied.

He watched as she turned around with a small frown on her face, vaguely aware of Lin coming into the kitchen and seeing him scribble something on what looked like a list from the corner of his eye.

“Please, drop the formalities. They are completely unnecessary under this roof,” Luz gently admonished, making Jon blush lightly.

“Oh. I'm sorry. What should I call you then?” Jon asked, but, before he could answer, Lin put his hands on his mother’s hips from behind and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“Hey, mamá,” Lin greeted and Luz smiled.

“Hola, mijo,” she said sweetly before her son moved to stand next to his husband instead, arm automatically going around Jon's waist. “‘Mamá’ is fine dear,” she went on, this time replying to Jon's question. “You can call me Luz too if that makes you uncomfortable.”

“Thank you, Luz.”

Jon figured he could settle for her first name for the time being, that he could always switch to mamá once he knew her better. He remembered Lin talking about the two women of his life while they were getting to know each other and Jon recalled him explaining that his sister would respond to Lu rather than Luz in big family gatherings such as this one. It was just easier for everyone to address Lin's sister by the nickname and his mother by her full name than using Luz for the both of them.

Lin spotted the gift bag on the counter and excitedly bounced on his feet.

“Oh oh! Did I miss the unwrapping? What’s in it mamá?” Lin asked as he reached out to grab it, Luz quickly slapping his hand away.

Lin winced at the sting and brought his hand to his chest, pouting. He was half considering asking Jon to kiss it better when Luz started talking again.

“Aren’t you forgetting something, mijo?” Luz asked with an eyebrow raised and Lin tilted his head to the side, clearly trying to work out exactly what he’d forgotten. Jon could practically see him tick his fingers off in his mind, the gears so obviously working overtime.

The silence lasted for ten seconds before Luz sighed and shook her head.

“Formal introductions, mijo. Formal introductions,” she supplied and Lin’s face lit up.

“Right! Mamá, this is Jonathan Miranda-Groff and Jon, this is my mother, Luz Towns-Miranda,” he said proudly, as if he had came up with the answer to Luz’s question on his own.

On cue, Jon reached out to shake her hand, but Luz pulled him in a hug, reaching up and pressing a kiss to his cheek instead.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” she said and Jon smiled.

“Pleasure’s all mine, Luz,” Jon assured, Lin bouncing on his feet next to him, the brightness of his smile rivaling with that of the overhead fixtures − Jon wouldn’t be able to tell you, however, if the cause of Lin’s smile was the fact that his husband was meeting his family, or if he was just _that_ impatient for his mother to open the gift that he’d gotten her.

“Can we open it now?” Lin asked, making Jon chuckle lightly and proving, with his reply, that he really was a perpetual child at heart. If anything, Christmas promised to be extremely interesting. (Albeit, exhausting.)

Just as he asked that however, Lu came back into the kitchen, Miguel’s sippy cup in hand, intent on filling it back up for her son. She took a look at her brother and his husband − that still sounded surreal to her − and their mother standing there and she threw a wink at Jon.

“Isn’t he handsome, mamá?” Lu asked in a stage whisper to which Jon blushed and Luz hummed and nodded, making him blush even harder. Maybe someone would have to teach him how to react to compliments, one of these days, because that was clearly something that Drama class hadn’t provided.

She too seemed to notice the gift bag and be drawn by it, reaching out to grab it. Luz slapped her hand gently at the attempt

“¡Ay! Will you two stop and let me open my gift, now? Last I checked, neither of you did the cooking and hosting and preparing, so paciencia! I have half a mind to throw you both out of my kitchen so that I can open this alone with my son-in-law, so if you don’t stop...” she threatened with a smile, but both Lin and his sister knew better than to test her and Lin automatically raised both of his hands in surrender.

Jon was watching the whole exchange play out with an incredulous smile plastered on his face. He wasn’t entirely sure that he shouldn’t intervene, whether this was normal or not, but he also was at a loss as to what to say if he did decide to step in. The interjection from Luz seemed to be enough to keep the both of them in place, though, so she grabbed the bag from the counter where it had been left and made her way to the kitchen table, away from all the food that was taking up much of the available space in the room. She found an empty corner − which, really with the way the table was already set up, was a miracle of sorts − and put the bag down, Lu, Lin and Jon following her.

Lu went to stand by her mother’s side as Lin pushed Jon forward so he’d be on her other side, Lin himself standing behind Jon and looking over his shoulder, hands back on his hips. He suddenly started worrying that it wouldn’t be enough, there was a sudden pressure to deliver that wasn’t there before and he took a sharp breath in, holding it. Lin’s fingers squeezed him lightly when he noticed that Jon wasn’t breathing and he tried to focus on that, tried to focus on the warmth radiating from Lin, because he might just have to excuse himself to go throw up if he didn’t. Maybe it was a good thing he had never met any of his past boyfriends’ parents after all. He watched as Luz started opening her gift and he wrung his hands together, swallowing hard.

“It’s not much,” he attempted, almost squeaked out, “but we thought it was fitting.”

“‘We?’” Lin asked, making Luz look at them questioningly. Jon realized she must have assumed that ‘we’ meant him and Lin but since Lin was asking… Clearly, that was taking him out of the equation. Jon let out a small, nervous laugh.

“My mother and I,” Jon admitted. “It was her idea, really.”

Luz pulled the tissue paper out from the bag and the squeeze of Lin’s fingers on his hips turned into full-on digging − if that’s how Lin reacted to Jon giving _his mom_ a present, he was almost dreading Christmas next month, his birthday the following, and Valentine’s day after that. Jon redirected his attention onto Luz’s face as she peeked inside the bag with a genuine curiosity, her face lighting up when she saw the contents and realized what they were.

“Oh, are those jams? Homemade?” She asked as she pulled one of the jars out of the bag. “Mijo!”

Jon nodded with a proud smile on his lips.

“Yeah. Ma makes some every year. The apricot one is from a long-time family friend. Made in the traditional Mennonite way, too. There’s a jar of strawberry rhubarb, which is a favourite of mine, and…”

“Is that the one we ate the other morning?” Lin asked, interrupting him.

Jon hummed in agreement.

“Oooh! This one’s great, you’ll love it, mamá.”

“What is she gonna love?” Luis asked as he walked by on his way to get another beer from the fridge.

“The jams Jon brought as a gift,” Lu replied at the time as her mother said, “Jonathan brought us homemade jams his mother made! Isn’t that sweet, mi amor? Now, I think our own children are going to have to step up. I don’t remember the last time they put that much thought into a gift,” she teased.

Lu leaned back and checked Jon up and down behind Luz’s back before Lin turned to look at her, an eyebrow raised.

“Your husband has ruined us. We’re screwed. I just might start chipping in on the gifts you guys are going to get them from now on,” she said and Lin chuckled.

“And leave Luis all on his own? That’s not cool,” he shot back with a grin.

“Your husband has been in the family for less than two weeks and he’s already upstaging mine. _That’s_ what’s not cool.”

Jon lightly elbowed Lin in the ribs and vaguely gestured towards Lin’s dad, trying to be as subtle as he could. Lin blinked stupidly at him and Jon rolled his eyes, extending his hand.

“Jonathan Groff, sir,” he introduced himself, hearing Lin gasp dramatically behind him. “You’re not doing a very good job at introducing me to your family, lovebird. You don’t get a Miranda-Groff,” he told Lin as Luis shook his hand.

“Luis,” he said with a smile before he fished out another jar out of the bag, leaving Jon with a confused frown that Lu caught.

“Both my husband and my dad are named Luis,” she explained quietly with a wink.

“And both yourself and your mother are named Luz,” Jon stated, and he felt like this should have warranted some type of warning from Lin before they got there.

Lu laughed.

“You’ll get used to it, don’t worry. And hey, look on the bright side. You’re not the one who leaves these dinners confused as the day you were born because you spent five hours trying to figure out whether people are talking to you or your mom. Or whether they’re talking about your dad or your husband.”

Jon laughed, giving her the point. He felt Lin give him a squeeze and nuzzle his neck, effectively pulling him away from his short conversation with Lu. He realized that Luis and Luz were talking about the jams and were already looking forward to the next morning to try them out. Jon smiled and promised he’d pass along their thanks to his mom when he’d see her next.

“Come on,” Lin whispered to him, “let’s get you to the living room and introduce you to everybody.”

Jon wasn’t sure what he had expected when Lin had told him that family was flying in from Puerto Rico, but he wasn’t sure he had expected this. He vaguely wondered if the flight they had boarded had been filled with nothing but Miranda passengers. He was also pretty impressed with the number of people that managed to squeeze in Luz and Luis’ apartment. His parents’ farm would have been a much better household to host a dinner this size. Lin pointed to every family member one after the other, listing their names and then introducing Jon. He waved at everyone at once, apologizing in advance if he couldn’t recall everyone’s name just yet, which earned him a laugh. Lin found them a spot on a couch, Miguel begging to sit on his tío’s lap almost as soon as they had settled down.

Before long, everyone caught themselves in some conversation about their respective lives, their jobs, their kids, their day. At some point and before Jon knew what was happening, Lin was tugging him up from the couch where he was sitting, and pulled him to a massive bookshelf filled to the brim with CDs and LPs. At first glance, there seemed to be no organized order, and Jon looked at Lin with furrowed brows, entirely confused as to what Lin was trying to show him.

“Every family event, we have a list, and one after the other, we get to pick an album to play. Everyone gets their turn and no one has the right to complain, we all have our fifteen minutes of glory, or an hour, depending what you pick. And, well, since you’re a Miranda now, I wrote down your name and it happens to be your turn. So, what are we listening to next?” Jon looked at him with wide eyes, incredulous. Didn’t _this_ warrant forewarning either? What else didn’t Lin tell him before they headed over to the dinner? “The musicals… they’re all over there,” Lin whispered, pointing to a shelf a bit lower than Jon’s head. “In case, you know, you need to narrow it down a bit.”

Jon stared at the bookshelf, feeling slightly overwhelmed. Lin pointing out where the musical recordings were didn’t help. He would have much preferred to have a head’s up. He could have had some time to think about his choice, but as it were, the silence was simply stretching out, conversation filling it up.

“Could you go first, and I’ll think about my choice while your album plays?” Jon asked, not trying to buy time for the sake of it but genuinely not knowing what the hell he was supposed to pick with no notice.

“But what’s the fun in that, mi amor?” Lin replied with a smile that lit up his entire face (and that was not fair, not at all).

“You’re unbelievable,” Jon muttered as he kept looking through the CDs.

He read through the titles, smiling at some, frowning at others.

“ _The Little Mermaid_ , really?” Jon asked, eyebrow raised in question. He couldn’t see why the Mirandas would still have this CD, especially since their youngest child was now twenty-six and Miguel seemed too young to fully appreciate it.

Lin backed up from hugging Jon and had an air of utter offense painted on his face when Jon ridiculed the greatest soundtrack Disney had ever produced.

“Well, then. If that’s how you’re taking it, it can only mean one thing: your memory needs to be refreshed and I’m going to put it on next. How could you even?”

“Oh!” Jon exclaimed in triumph, absolutely ignoring Lin. “Found it.”

He handed Lin the hard plastic case holding _Thoroughly Modern Millie_ , a bright smile on his lips. Obviously.

“Why do I feel like I should have guessed this would be your first ever Miranda pick?” Lin asked as Jon made his way to the stereo chain.

“Because the surrogate to our son was Sutton Foster,” Jon replied cheekily, making Lin crack up.

One of Lin’s cousins happened to walk past them just then, frowning with concern and confusion, causing Jon to blush and clear his throat as he busied himself with putting the album on and Lin to laugh harder.

“Una cabra,” Lin explained which, in all honesty, did nothing except confuse his cousin even more.

It wasn’t that much longer before Luz called everyone in to sit around the table, casually chatting with each other about things to be grateful for in the past year, or looking forward to in the upcoming one. Lin’s hand found its way to Jon’s thigh as he started talking about the things he was thankful for, squeezing lightly when he spoke about Jon and it was a long time after he was done talking before he retrieved it.

By the time dessert came around, Jon was honestly doubting he’d ever been this full, but by virtue of being incapable of being impolite, he had not been able to refuse a single item on the table that night when the plates were going around. So he’d eaten, and, well. Maybe he was going to explode, maybe Lin was going to have to roll him out of the building and into his own, he wasn’t sure yet. To be determined. Except that, when he looked back at Lin, he saw that he was unlikely to be of any help − if Jon was to judge by the way Lin looked at his food, he was in even worse condition than Jon was. Heaven help them both.

After a while, once Lin, with an arm lazily draped over the back of Jon’s chair, had started playing with his second helping of pumpkin pie rather than eating it, Lu struck up a conversation with her brother, Spanish flowing easily between the two of them. Jon tried to make sense of it for a while, but eventually gave up, turning to talk to his in-laws instead. He perked up when he heard his name amidst the conversation, so terribly English amongst it all that it was unmistakable, reminding him of hearing his name in the middle of an Amish Dutch sentence on his parents’ farm when he was a child. He threw a questioning look at Lin who left it unanswered, lightly twirling some of Jon’s curls between his fingers.

“You don’t speak Spanish, do you?” Luis asked Jon when he caught the confusion on his features.

“I’m afraid I don’t, sir. Is that a problem?” Jon replied, already making plans in his mind to learn the language. He somehow felt like he could be disappointing Lin’s parents, and he didn’t want them to be disappointed in him.

Luis shrugged it off with a kind smile and Jon breathed a little easier. Maybe it would just make them proud if he learned.

“It’s not a problem at all. And please − I’m pretty sure we told you there was no need to call me sir. And these two?” he said with a tilt of his head in his children’s direction, “It sounds to me like he’s telling her about going to see your family? Are you visiting them soon?”

“This weekend, actually. Since it’s Thanksgiving and all.” Jon turned to Luz, giving her a smile. “I’m afraid I’m going to steal Lin away from your weekly dinner, Luz.”

“That’s quite alright, mijo,” she replied with a kind smile, making Lu sharply turn and stare at her in disbelief.

“Hold on! Lin’s getting a free pass for Saturday’s dinner?!” Lu exclaimed, sounding almost indignant.

“I was thinking there was no need to host another dinner within forty-eight hours of each other,” Luz replied, shrugging.

Lin, Lu and her husband all exchanged stunned looks and Lin couldn’t help himself but to mumble the opening line to _Bohemian Rhapsody_ , to which Lu followed up without missing a beat. Jon chuckled at their antics and the easy relationship they had with each other.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Luz reprimanded and Lu turned back to her brother, speaking in Spanish at a dizzying speed this time around.

After a couple of exchanges between the siblings, Luis chuckled and shook his head.

“She’s giving him a piece of her mind on how you’ve been in the family for two weeks and already changing our habits,” he translated and while Jon could tell there was no heat coming from neither one of them, his eyes opened wide and he stared at Lu. As he tried to apologize, interrupting these two wasn’t as easy as it seemed, Lin gave the back of his neck a light squeeze, trying to convey that it was okay, that he was handling it, already had.

“Isn’t it a little inconsiderate to talk about your husband in a language he doesn’t understand, Lin? At least allow him to follow the conversation!”

Lin turned to Luis.

“ _Yeah, but if I do that, I can’t start talking about how talented and amazing he is without him getting all shy and trying to convince everyone that I’m playing it up. I’m not. He’s amazing, he’s twenty-one and opening on Broadway in like two weeks, he’s got a voice to melt the coldest of hearts and I don’t know if you’ve noticed his eyes but I think I’ve been drowning since I met him. Or maybe flying, I haven't figured that out, yet. And he has no idea,_ ” Lin replied in Spanish with a side glance at Jon and Jon could only raise his eyebrows as means for an inquiry before he turned to Luis for answers.

His father-in-law glared at Lin, entirely unamused, that much was clear. “Seriously?” he cleared his throat, rolling his eyes at his son’s smirk, as if he was daring him to translate what he had just said. “Hm. Lin is now invested in telling all of us everything he thinks is… amazing about you, and I’m fairly certain that at least a part of his reason for doing that is to embarrass me in front of you.” Lin beamed. Jon blushed furiously.

Taking in compliments was hard enough as it was when he _knew_ what they were and knew somewhere deep that maybe he deserved at least part of them. Lin praising him in a way that made his dad unwilling to speak out loud and translate? That could not be something mundane and part of him wanted nothing more than to slide off the chair and hide under the table. Maybe he could run off and play with Miguel for a while, that could be a good excuse, right? He looked down to his lap and ran a hand in his hair. Lin squeezed the back of his neck again, more insistent this time.

“You can do a much better job at translating than that, dad,” Lin said, his smirk not going anywhere any time soon and Luis groaned in response.

“I could, but that’s not my job. He’s _your_ husband, not mine. If you want to sing his praises, go for it, but have enough guts to do it on your own, don’t ask your father to do it for you,” Luis shot back, with the result of both his wife and his daughter erupting in laughter.

Lin narrowed his eyes and took a deep breath, opening his mouth as Jon looked from one man to the other, in rapid succession.

“No!” Jon suddenly exclaimed, putting his hand on Lin’s knee. “Please, lovebird,” he begged quietly. It wasn’t exactly that he was against Lin repeating whatever he had been saying in English, in fact, he’d love to hear it, it was more the fact that he’d rather have that conversation be between just the two of them.

Lin looked away from his father, losing himself in Jon’s blue eyes instead and dropped the subject, pressing a quick kiss on Jon’s lips. As if on cue to break the sudden tension in the air, Miguel chose this moment to erupt in the dining room, running over to Lin and requesting that his tío danced with him. Lin had put the soundtrack to _The Little Mermaid_ on less than ten minutes ago and Miguel had come running just before _Under the Sea_ started. You could trust that Lin had put that CD on often enough for the little boy to know the tracklist practically by heart.

Lin excused himself under the disapproving glare of his sister as they were setting out to clean the table and he cheekily shrugged it off, pulling his tiny dance partner into the living room. Jon chuckled lightly at Lin’s antics but jumped at the chance to help clean, despite the vehement protests emanating from Luz. He insisted it was no problem and that it would be over much more quickly this way. He was almost disappointed he was missing out on the dance party, but he could see it happening as he went back into the dining area to grab bowls and service platters to bring back into the kitchen, and maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing after all. It seemed to involve a lot more jumping around than his stomach could tolerate.

“Why isn’t my son like you, huh?” Luz teased. “I never managed to have him sit still long enough to help at anything, always running around like he was… Well, still is,” she explained with nothing but love in her voice.

“Well, then, I’m glad that I can be of help. One of us has to, so I’ll gladly take on that role.”

After a short while, the table was cleared, the Mirandas’ fridge was threatening to burst open any minute, the dishwasher had one hell of a job set up to do later in the night (Luz would have even more to do in the morning), and the crowd had dispersed across the rooms. There were decks of cards and a couple of board games out in the dining room, and the people who weren’t playing were conversing casually in the living room − everything was much less packed than it had been when everyone was needed in the same area. That was how Jon found himself on the couch, trying not to doze off with Lin’s head on his lap and Miguel on Lin’s torso, after Lin had exhausted as much of the toddler’s energy as Miguel had left in him. He was tired, they all were, but the toddler hadn’t seen his tío nearly enough lately, so he’d been glued to Lin’s side, enjoying his presence as much as he could. It was surreal, for a Thanksgiving dinner, at least as far as Jon was concerned. He ate like he maybe never had before, he was sated, he had his husband resting on him in the living room of his in-laws’ home, said husband had a tiny three-year-old sleeping on his chest, and there was a part of Jon’s brain that was entirely ready to declare this a perfect moment in time. Lin was running his hands up and down Miguel’s back slowly as Jon rested his hand on Lin’s head, twirling his fingers in his hair, thoughts drifting away.

“Hey,” he said quietly as to not wake Miguel, “I was thinking… Ma and Pa want to come see the play, right? I was thinking it would make sense if they came up on a Sunday, Monday and Tuesday kind of thing? Since I’m only doing a matinee on Sundays, I’ll be out of the theatre for dinner, I can take them around the city on Monday and they could come see the show on Tuesday night before they leave again on Wednesday morning. I was hoping I could sleep at your place, let them have mine instead of renting a hotel room? You don’t have to say yes, obviously, I can sleep on my couch if David decides not to come around, but I’d rather not sleep on the floor if he does?” Jon pondered out loud, choosing to ignore the way Lin’s features hardened ever so slightly at the mention of his brother.

“You do remember that we’re married, right?” Lin replied, forcing a playful grin. “You don’t have to ask before you come over, pretty boy. Of course, it’s fine. I can even be there to welcome your parents if something comes up and you have to leave before they arrive, if you want, and I can go see the show again with them too. Lead them around backstage after and all that,” he offered, assuming a couple of Pennsylvanians could probably use the help.

“You’d do that?” Jon asked, not really disbelieving but also not quite believing that this was his life, now, either.

“Of course, I’d do that. They’re my in-laws, aren’t they? Besides, your emergency key is mine now so I’ll have to lend it to them for the few days they’ll be here. Two birds with one stone,” Lin concluded as if that was the most natural, goes-without-saying thing in the world.

“Is it now? What if there’s an emergency and I’m locked out of my apartment?” Jon asked teasingly.

“You call me and I come rescue you,” Lin replied, shrugging as much as he could.

“I was thinking, too,” Jon continued, dropping the matter, “maybe we could have dinner, all six of us? Or all nine, if your sister wants to join us with her family.”

Lin didn’t reply to him right away, turned his head in the direction of the dining room instead, “¡Ay! ¡Mamá! Can you come here for a second?” he half-yelled.

“Lin! You could have gone to her instead of screaming across the place!” Jon retorted in shock at his husband’s nerve.

“That’s cute, but uh, no, I couldn’t. There’s a sleeping three year old on me,” he said with an equivocal nod at Miguel’s sleeping form.

“Come on. You won’t move him but you’ll yell in his ears? He weighs, what, forty-five pounds soaking wet? You could have moved him, Lin.”

“Look at him! You’re not that heartless, I know you’re not. You can’t seriously be considering waking him up? Look how peaceful he looks! I don’t make the rules, I can’t move right now,” Lin said, dead serious, and Jon rolled his eyes, as his mother walked in the room.

“What is it, mijo?” Luz inquired.

“Jon’s parents are going to be in town sometime soon to see him in _Spring Awakening_. Do you and dad want to come and have dinner with us?”

Luz turned to Jon to reply with a kind, “We’d be delighted to meet your parents, sweetheart. What do you think I should cook?”

“Oh, no, nothing! Please. I don’t want to impose on you. We’ll go out to a restaurant, it’s fine. Anything in Times Square will make them happy, there’s no doubt about that. We could go to, I don’t know, Red Lobster, or… or Applebee’s?”

Lin looked at him in disbelief. “Applebee’s?! I’ve tasted your mother’s food, pretty thing, there is no way in hell I’m dishonouring her and taking her there.”

“What about that one restaurant, with all the portraits of Broadway stars?” Jon offered instead.

“Ooh, yeah! Sardi’s! We can get yours done while we’re there. Two birds strike again!”

“Oh god, Lin. No. I’m not… I’m not a star.”

“What part of ‘originating the male lead of a new musical’ don’t you get? You _are_ a star. My star.” Lin said, reverent.

“Let me know when you boys figure this out,” Luz interjected softly as she left them to their argument, mostly unnoticed and not interrupting them in the slightest.

“No, I know. But Lin, you can’t put me on the same level as Barbra Streisand! Or Patti LuPone! You can’t hang my portrait on the same wall, Lin. They have more talent in their pinky than I do in the entirety of my body.” Jon shook his head. He knew in all logic that even if he got his caricature done it wouldn’t be hung anywhere near Barbra’s and Patti’s, but he couldn’t even fathom having it be hung up anywhere in the restaurant.

“Last time I checked, they didn’t hire either of them in your musical, but they did hire you, so… Case in point. As for me, you can be sure that I’m going to cast you in everything I write from now on. Obviously, you’re doing something extremely right. And you’re gonna end up at Sardi’s one day.”

“I’m not Barbra Streisand, Lin! I can’t be next to her. That’s impossible,” he repeated.

“Well then, we’re just gonna have to agree to disagree. Right, mom?” Lin said as he looked up, having completely failed to realise that she was long gone.

The rest of the night passed them by, fairly uneventful. Before long, Lu was picking Miguel up from his resting place on Lin’s chest and saying her goodbyes. To make it easier on everyone, Lin followed her lead and brought Jon with him to wish one last happy Thanksgiving to the cousins and aunts and uncles and nieces and nephews. They trailed behind Lu, Luis and Miguel, Jon getting the distinct feeling that Lin was trying to get ahead of them, but for what purpose, he wasn’t sure.

Once outside, Jon leaned back against the wall by the door, taking the opportunity to breathe in deeply. The crisp November air felt amazing going through his lungs and cooling down his warm cheeks. He smiled lazily at Lin, gently tugging him in closer. Lin went easily and, when he noticed that he had to look ever so slightly _down_ to look Jon in the eyes because of how much he was leaning back, he put his hands against the wall on each side of Jon’s head, caging him in, crowding his space.

“Thank you for this. I’m really glad you invited me to spend Thanksgiving with your family,” he breathed against Lin’s skin.

“I wouldn't have had it any other way, pretty boy,” Lin replied as he closed the space between them.

Jon’s breath hitched in his throat as he felt the warmth radiating from Lin against his lips, half a second before he kissed him. He automatically took hold of Lin’s hips and arched up into him. He shivered as he felt Lin’s tongue against his lips, asking to be let in, permission which Jon granted him as soon as his neurons figured out the message and how to respond. Lin pressed his body closer to Jon’s, made himself more insistent as he moved one hand to hold Jon’s jaw, tilting his head just so. Jon willed his body to relax, following Lin’s lead blindly. He moaned quietly in the kiss, as if he had tried to hold it back in but had failed to shut it down completely, sending a jolt of electricity down Lin’s spine. Lin broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Jon’s, breathing out a quiet “Fuck,” as he did so.

“Come home with me?” Jon asked quietly, breathless.

“As if I had any other plans right now,” Lin confessed. “I wouldn't dream of going home alone. Or sending you off on your own, either.”

“I’ll make it worth your while,” Jon promised with a smirk, making Lin groan.

“I know you can, pretty boy. Let’s go to my place first then, pack my bag and head over to yours so that we don’t actually have to be apart before we come back from Ronks?” Lin offered, instantly in planning mode.

“Instant mood killer, Lin, honestly. You're unbelievable. But of course, if you'd rather do that than have me dirty talk at you on your parents’ porch…” Jon said playfully.

“You're a damn tease, you know that?” Lin chuckled and pressed one last kiss to Jon’s lips before he backed up, making sure to find Jon’s hands in the process to pull him off the wall. “But if I have to choose, I’d much rather you… ‘dirty talk at me’,” he quoted, “once we reached your bedroom. That way, I don’t have to stop myself and I don’t risk getting arrested for public indecency.”

“Maybe I can just keep whispering in your ears at the back of whatever cab we're about to get in,” Jon suggested.

“Don't you dare,” Lin warned, and well. Jon was not one to pass on a challenge so explicitly stated.

“And tell me, what are you gonna do about it if I do?”

“I might have to find a way to shut you up once we get home,” Lin replied.

“I thought you wanted dirty talk when we got home? You're gonna have to make up your mind, lovebird,” Jon shot back cheekily.

Lin resolutely did not engage with that and busied himself with getting them a cab instead. The ride home went agonizingly slowly, Jon’s hands wandering Lin’s body to his heart’s desires. Jon did whisper to him some dark promises for which Lin had to think some pretty horrifying thoughts to counter if he didn’t want to be given away. And really, he didn’t want to be.

The door to Lin’s apartment wasn’t even closed behind them yet that Lin was already pushing Jon against it, wedging a leg between Jon’s thighs and kissing him relentlessly. Lin clung onto Jon’s jacket, desperately wanting to touch his husband’s skin while trying to keep his head on his shoulders, which turned out to be much easier said than done. He pulled away from Jon and rested his forehead against Jon’s chest, his fingers clutching and unclutching around his fistfuls of Jon's jacket. He immediately regretted his decision as his head followed the rise and fall of Jon’s chest caused by his heavy breathing, even more so when he realized he could feel the rapid thumping of Jon’s heart.

“I want to take you home, pretty boy, but you're making it impossible for me to focus on anything that isn't your mouth right now,” Lin said as he stepped back, checking Jon out and licking his lips. “I'm going to pack and you're going to stay right here, are we clear?”

Jon stared at Lin a little dumbfounded, not having expected that development, but, when Lin raised an eyebrow in question, he couldn't do much more than nod. Lin grinned, satisfied, and walked deeper into his apartment to pack.

Jon didn't know exactly how long he stayed there, unmoving, listening to Lin as he went through his things. His eyes followed him when Lin went from his room to his bathroom, whimpering quietly as Lin completely ignored him. He dipped into his kitchen on his way back and Jon could hear him rummage through his drawers, but had no idea what he was looking for. He was potentially going to go insane before long if Lin kept at it, wouldn’t actually be surprised if he did. Jon heard the tell-tale noise of a drawer being slid shut, breathed a little easier when Lin stopped to check him out, an appreciative grin on his lips. He left again for a couple more minutes, making Jon groan before Lin emerged from his room, bag slung over his shoulder. Finally ready to go.

“Uh, so. Obedience is a good look on you, pretty boy,” Lin said with a smirk. “We should definitely explore that one of these days. Maybe tonight.”

Jon narrowed his eyes and, say what you will, he was still only a twenty-one year old who could, at times, get somewhat petty and who was not a big fan of being told what to do. Yes, he was aware that this was the biggest irony of his life. Out of defiance, Jon pushed himself off of the door, swiftly walking over to Lin. In all logic, Lin was expecting to be kissed, or hugged, or pulled into Jon − not to be mercilessly backed up until his back hit the kitchen counter. It didn’t make logical sense but the air got knocked out of his lungs, not entirely metaphorically, when the small of his back hit the hard surface. Jon trapped Lin in place, taking his turn at crowding Lin’s personal space, at occupying every bit of his line of sight.

“Who’s caging who now, huh, love _bird_?” Jon inquired and Lin’s breath came out shaking.

“This is _not_ how this was supposed to go,” he whispered.

“You can’t push me around and expect not to be pushed in return,” Jon replied and Lin wasn’t sure if it was a threat or a promise, but whichever way, it sent a thrill down his spine.

“Is that how this works, now?”

“Are you complaining?”

“No. Just. Fuck. Take me home.” Lin was giving up, so early, so easily, and it was a beautiful sight.

“Now that’s more like it,” Jon shot back, cockiness dripping out of his voice.

Lin was leaning back above his kitchen counter, neck stretched out to give a shot at being leveled with Jon and if Lin expected − again − to be kissed judging by the way Jon was looking at his lips, he was sorely mistaken and was left hanging when Jon drew back, smirk in place. The game was on.

Lin was in a daze, slightly out of it as he locked up his apartment, letting Jon pull him outside and into yet another cab. He knew Jon was trying to appear innocent, making small talk as if nothing was going on, as if he wasn’t currently kneading one of Lin’s thighs, as if his hand wasn’t inching up with every new passing street. He found himself gripping Jon’s wrist tightly when his fingers started to wander up the seam on the inside of his thigh, his eyes immediately locking with Jon’s, irritation meeting playful arrogance.

“You won’t win this one, Lin,” Jon whispered into his ear as they neared his building. “You’re going to lose, and I’m going to get you to do whatever I want you to do to me, and it’s gonna be so good, Lin.”

“What if I say no?” Lin asked after he had swallowed with some difficulties.

Jon tilted his head to the side, studying him for a split second. He didn’t think he was going to − not that it would be the end of the world if he did − but he could tell that Lin mostly needed the reassurance. He shrugged lightly.

“Then we take a raincheck, lovebird,” he replied easily.

The cab driver pulled over and Jon paid, barely even glancing at the bills he was handing to the man, before he climbed out of the vehicle, offering his hand to help Lin do the same. Jon carried Lin’s backpack upstairs, setting it down by the door almost as soon as they were inside. He took his time removing their jackets and hanging them up, but as soon as the closet was closed back up, Jon seemed ready to pounce. If Lin thought they had been playing back at his apartment, Jon had been doing nothing but setting up his pawns, ready to take down Lin’s king at a moment’s notice.

Jon took Lin’s hand and guided him into the apartment, down the hallway to his room − or so Lin assumed. Instead, Jon pushed him against the wall before he reached the door, pressing his body against him, lifting their linked hands above Lin's head.

“Are you going to tell me no, Lin?” Jon asked, his lips less than an inch away from Lin’s.

Lin shook his head. “I won’t.”

“You know you always can, I just want you to tell me before I take this any further, lovebird,” he moved to whisper hot against Lin’s ear.

“Don't stop. Please don't stop, I want this too,” Lin breathed. “I want you.”

Jon hummed, grinding his hips against Lin’s.

“That’s what I wanted to hear,” he said before he caught Lin’s lips in a searing kiss.

Jon let go of Lin’s hand, bringing his own to his hips instead. He held him in place as his tongue explored Lin’s mouth before he trailed his hands to the buckle of Lin’s belt. Jon unfastened it easily enough, pulling on it until it was completely free of the loops of his pants. It fell noisily to the floor, making Lin break the kiss to look at it out of habit. Undeterred, Jon moved to cover Lin’s jawline in kisses, barely scraping his teeth against Lin’s skin as his hands found their way under the grey wool sweater Lin had been wearing all night. Jon only pulled away from Lin so he could get rid of it, discarding it haphazardly behind him, not caring in the least where it landed. Lin was breathing heavily as he let his arms fall uselessly to his sides, lost as he was in Jon’s eyes. It didn’t even seem to occur to him that he could work open the buttons of Jon’s shirt. His breath hitched in his chest as Jon huffed a laugh through his nose at the sight of Lin’s classic Nintendo themed t-shirt.

“You should kiss me again,” Lin breathed out, hands flat against the wall behind him.

“Hmm,” Jon hummed again, thoughtful. “I _could_ but I think I want to get rid of that Mario shirt first,” Lin looked down to his chest, “it’s the way he's looking at me. It’s unnerving,” Jon went on, a playful grin on his lips. “Undress for me?” Jon asked, formulated as a question even though his tone left nothing to interpretation − the command was not hidden in the slightest.

He wasn’t even done with his sentence that Lin was already pushing himself off the wall, scrambling to grab at the hem of his shirt and shedding it quickly. Jon chuckled as Lin seemed to come back to life, walking backwards, away from Jon and toward the bedroom.

“You’re not going to have to ask me twice, pretty boy,” Lin said, somewhat proud of himself for finding his wits back, his hand toying with the button of his pants, finally popping it open with a cheeky grin.

“I can see that,” Jon teased, following him unhurriedly. As he did so, he took his own belt off, abandoning it somewhere on the floor along the way and pulled his dress shirt out of the waistband of his jeans.

Lin ducked into the bedroom first and while he had wanted a kiss from Jon, he had walked away before he could claim it and he was suddenly at a loss over what to do with himself. As Jon reached his bedroom, he stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame, arms crossed against his chest, one ankle in front of the other, observing Lin. Everything about Jon screamed ‘power stance’ and Lin swallowed hard, unable to look away, despite his cock twitching in the confinement of his boxers from the intensity of Jon’s gaze. He could practically feel himself starting to fill out and well, maybe he would've felt embarrassed about it in any other situation, but there was no space in his brain for embarrassment in that moment.

“Are you going to keep standing there or…?” Lin asked, giving Jon the freedom of completing his question with a suggestion of his choosing.

“I’m trying to determine what I want more between kissing you breathless, watching you strip for me, or having you undress me,” Jon replied honestly, his simplicity taking Lin by surprise. “What do you think, lovebird? Which one should have priority?”

“Kissing me. Definitely. I can take care of your shirt at the same time,” he said with conviction.

“Oh, I’m sure you can. But you see, I recall you mentioning a mysterious tongue trick that has had me quite intrigued and…”

“Oh my God,” Lin interrupted, slightly exasperated and entirely out of patience, marching toward Jon.

Jon raised an eyebrow at Lin’s forwardness but, before he could question it, Lin was upon him, taking his face between his hands and pulling him forward into a kiss. Once he was sure he wasn’t going to break away, Lin moved his hands down to Jon’s chest, set on opening every button before either one of them was out of breath. Breath control lessons definitely came in handy, to Lin’s advantage. Jon let Lin off the hook for the time being, shrugging the shirt off once he felt Lin trying to push it off his shoulders. The piece of clothing hadn’t reached the floor yet, and Lin was already trying to explore Jon’s chest, an action which Jon cut short by taking hold of one of Lin’s wrists and bringing it behind his husband’s back. Lin moaned into Jon’s mouth, making him smirk.

“Checkmate,” Jon whispered after he’d broken the kiss, his breath ghosting against Lin’s lips.

“I’d give you the game if I was naked, but I’m not, so at best, this was your ‘check’ move,” Lin replied before he could stop himself.

“If that’s all you require to fold, that can quickly be taken care of.”

“That’s poker, not chess.”

Jon rolled his eyes but didn’t deign giving that comment an answer, letting go of his hold on Lin’s arm to roam at his chest freely, his lips closing around Lin’s skin − somewhere between his neck and his shoulder. As he busied himself with softening the skin there, his hands found their way to the waistband of Lin’s pants and worked the zipper open, pushing them down until they pooled around Lin’s feet, taking his boxers in their wake, too. They clashed, Lin gave Jon’s jeans the same treatment, they scrambled, Lin pulled as much as Jon pushed and he flipped them around at the last moment − they ended up on a heap on the bed, Jon pressing the entirety of Lin’s body down onto his own − they couldn’t keep still if they tried.

Between the clash of their teeth and the fight for dominance of their tongues, the scrambling of their hands, the ragged breaths and the movements of their hips against each other, Jon remembered one thing that he’d filed away until then.

"I'm going to assume you've never done this with another guy before?" Jon asked, eyebrow raised. In itself, it was a rhetorical question; he knew from Lacamoire that Lin had only ever dated women before him. It was fair to assume he only ever had sex with them too, but he still wanted the confirmation. Wanted to hear he was Lin's first.

Lin swallowed nervously, shaking his head, his voice completely gone, hidden deep beneath the nerves.

"Hey, hey, lovebird," Jon said as he brought his hand up to Lin's jaw, tilting his head down and caressing his cheek with his thumb. He kissed him tenderly before he pulled back, smiling softly. "Don't worry. I've got you, okay?" Jon kissed him again and then repeated himself. "I've got you," he whispered.

He moved his legs from where they were stuck under Lin’s body, brought his knees up on either side of Lin’s hips, opening himself up. Relocated both of his hands from Lin’s face to his ass and dug in, causing Lin to grind down against him, and hopefully that was hint enough for what he was expecting of the night’s unfoldings.

“Wait… You… You’re letting me top you?”

“Uh, yeah. Unless, you know, that’s not something you want, but I figured it would be the easiest way for us tonight,” Jon replied. “As good as they are, I want so much more than handjobs and blowjobs from you.”

Lin rested his forehead against Jon, taking a deep breath in and letting it out shakily. He repeated the action a couple of times, Jon kneading at his ass at the same time. While it did feel great, Lin wasn’t about to say it was exactly helpful in clearing his mind.

“Yeah… Yeah, okay,” Lin finally said, before he pressed a quick kiss to Jon’s lips. “Talk me through it?”

Jon grinned and oh if _that_ wasn’t the kind of grin that made Lin feel like he was in trouble, had probably bitten off more than he could chew.

“Of course. I told you, I’ve got you. I mean it, too. Anything you need,” Jon said before he reached up to kiss Lin properly.

Jon wrapped his arms tightly around Lin’s body as they kissed and, when they parted to breathe, swiftly managed to flip Lin onto his back.

“Up the bed you go, lovebird,” he instructed, half pushing Lin up without actually climbing up the bed himself.

Lin settled against the pillows, getting himself comfortable, and a shiver rippled down his spine when Jon hovered above him and started pressing kisses just above his navel, slowly inching up to his stomach, his chest, his neck. He started sucking on the skin of Lin’s neck before he remembered that they were heading out to Ronks the very next day and, truthfully, the last thing he wanted was to introduce Lin to his parents with a hickey standing out against the golden expanse of his skin. Thus, he moved back down, setting up to leave one on Lin’s pectoral instead, just above his heart.

“Jon, fuck,” Lin breathed out, rolling his hips up against his husband’s body, the entirety of his own pushing up against him, his hands clutching at Jon’s shoulders.

Jon worked his teeth into the softened patch of skin, making Lin moan and writhe under him. More than content with the bruise his husband was bound to have, Jon pulled away, a wet _pop!_ echoing between them.

A smug grin appeared on his face when he looked down at the colours blooming on Lin’s chest and Jon pulled back, reaching for the bedside table. Lin watched him closely with interest as Jon pulled out a bottle of lube and the unmistakable silver foil packet of a condom from the drawer. Jon shrugged it off, cheekily commented that everything was better with lube and sat up, straddling one of Lin’s legs to free his hands and get some of the contents on his fingers. He set the bottle down on the table and used his clean hand to roam over Lin’s chest, toying with his nipples, building the anticipation, watching closely how Lin reacted to his touches, never giving him the satisfaction of reaching down to take him in hand, never giving him the friction he needed. He scratched and soothed, Lin whimpered in response. Lin’s skin was already warm under him, but heated up infinitesimally with every drag of Jon’s fingernails and every pinch of skin that he pulled from Lin’s body. Jon took pity, earlier than he'd planned on − still way too late, if Lin had a say. He arched up when Jon’s fingers finally wrapped themselves around his length.

Jon bent back down, setting his cheek against Lin’s, just shy of kissing him – he wanted his mouth by Lin’s ear for what he had in mind. He ground his hips down on Lin’s thigh in rhythm with the movements of his hand.

"You're gonna use your fingers, lovebird, and you're slowly going to open me up,” Jon whispered, hot in Lin’s ear. “And I’m going to tell you exactly how I want it, how slow or hard I want you to go. I'm gonna tell you just how I want you to stretch me and prepare me for your cock because you, my love, are going to fuck me like you've never fucked anyone before. Is that understood?”

Lin moaned, almost a whine, and replied – “yes, yes, understood, fuck yes, come on” – so Jon gave him another few strokes and a kiss and moved off of him. He pulled Lin up by the hand into a sitting position as he shifted.

“On your knees, behind me. Get comfy, we're in no hurry. At least I’m not, so you've got no reason to be.”

He settled on his elbows when he kneeled in front of Lin, his calves resting on both sides of Lin’s knees. He relaxed, arched his back enticingly. Almost immediately, Lin’s hands were on his ass, roaming free, smoothing from the sides of his thighs to the small of his back. Lin pressed harder into the muscle when he felt Jon drive back into the touch. He kneaded, gripped – pulled his cheeks apart and pushed them up, absolutely exposing him, as if curious to see how Jon would react to the touch.

“You want this, don't you? God, Lin, I want you to fuck me until I see stars. You're going to do that for me, aren’t you?” Jon spoke from under Lin’s attentions.

“Who would have thought you had such a mouth on yourself, huh?”

“I think I recall you asking me to talk you through it, so really, not in your interest to complain right now…” he trailed off when he felt one of Lin’s hands lift off his skin and a single finger tracing the line down but stopping before it got interesting. Jon huffed as quietly as he could. “Get the lube, lovebird. Warm it up, don't just pour it on me,” Jon urged.

Bottle cap opening, faint slick sounds. Lin’s finger returned after a moment, tracing down again but reaching the sensitive skin just behind his balls this time. Jon moved against him. Lin, careful as ever, moved back up and started drawing tight circles against Jon’s opening, the amount of nerve endings being stimulated shooting sparks straight up Jon’s spine to his brain. He let out the tiniest of whines when Lin all but pressed in.

“Lin, come on, give me that finger,” Jon commanded. “Not all at once, I want to go slow with this, but I want to go _somewhere_ , come on.”

Lin rested his digit against him and pressed in, the pressure light but steady as he moved without giving Jon much more than a knuckle to feel. Still, he hadn't had this in a while, and the last few days had been stressful enough that he didn't exactly have a lot of opportunities to get all that intimate with Lin, so the breach, however small, was incredibly welcomed. And it wasn't just some random guy, or a casual date, it was Lin, _his husband_ , fingering him, prepping him so that he could _fuck_ him proper, and that thought alone coaxed a moan from his throat. He pushed back against the familiar but foreign stretch from the intrusion and encouraged Lin.

“Deeper, Lin, gimme something,” Jon pleaded.

Lin complied, pushed in and dragged back out, sliding in a little farther with every push until he heard Jon moan from where he was dropping his head. He lazily fucked Jon with his one digit, completely attuned to his reactions. The shift of his hips, the clench of his muscles, the stifled whimpers coming out of his mouth – Lin wished he could see him, but the unrestricted access he had to Jon’s ass like this was also very, very appreciated.

“That's good, lovebird, keep doing that for a while,” he stifled between his teeth. He felt the hand that was still massaging his cheek lift and not come back, and oh, no, Lin was not about to make this about himself just yet. “Don't you dare touch yourself, I don't want you to get too far ahead before you even get inside me,” and then without really breaking the sentences, “more, I can take more, come on.”

Lin slid out completely at that. He came back with just a bit more lube than strictly mandatory, slowly eased in his index and middle finger without teasing or halting, a steady push.

“How does that feel, huh?” Lin asked breathily once his fingers were settled all the way inside Jon. He brought his free hand back to smooth and tease at Jon’s inner thighs, the faint bite of nails, before he reached up to brush at Jon’s balls.

“You're good at this,” Jon looked back, “especially for someone who’s never fucked a guy before,” he added with a teasing grin.

Lin’s indignation was priceless, if you asked Jon. Lin pulled out and all but slammed in as retaliation, and Jon’s brows knit on his forehead, his mouth dropping open at his boldness and the sensation. Lin spread his fingers out just a bit inside Jon’s heat, curling just enough for Jon to really feel him move inside him. He hit his prostate on the next push and Jon’s head dropped right back between his shoulders as he fell forward some. A whine escaped Jon’s mouth, “oh, fuck yeah – right there, Lin, do that again,” he panted. He ground and fucked himself on Lin’s fingers, unashamedly riding them to the point where Lin barely had to move, focusing on the movements of his fingers inside Jon’s tight ass instead. That was a sight Lin knew he wouldn't forget for a while. Hopefully, he would also remember how Jon’s moans steadily increased in intensity with each thrust.

“You look so good like this, pretty boy. I could eat you right up,” Lin said as he relocated his hand from where it was playing between Jon’s legs to grab his hip tightly, moving with him, guiding him forward and back, driving Jon on his fingers relentlessly.

“One thing at a time, loveb–”

Jon’s voice cut off drastically when he felt Lin’s teeth dig into the pliant skin of his buttcheek and he gasped in surprise, a high “oh” falling from his lips. He didn’t relent the movements of his wrist, not letting Jon breathe and not giving him time to process. He pulled back after a hot minute, using the hand that had been holding onto Jon’s hip tightly to trace the teeth marks indenting Jon’s skin.

“Lin, more, please, I want you to fuck me and I want you to do that as soon as possible so please,” Jon begged. “One more, Lin, I want more,” he added, as if Lin wasn’t already scrambling for the bottle.

When he finally pushed in again, Jon’s mind went blank for a second at how much he’d missed feeling this _full_ , and he knew it’d be even better once he actually got Lin’s cock sliding in and filling him up to the brim. Lin was spreading his fingers, curling them inside him, pressing all his buttons at once and Jon, well, he couldn’t take much more foreplay. He did want to try and take his time, he really did, but his patience was wearing thin so he spoke up after only a few thrusts of Lin’s hand and a few brushes of his fingers against his prostate.

“Fuck, Lin. I need you and I need you _now_ ,” he almost whined, head dropping into his pillow.

“You win understatement of the year, pretty boy.” Lin gently pulled out, wiped some of the excess lube on the back of Jon’s thigh, they’d clean up later. Jon whimpered as much from the sudden loss of Lin’s fingers as he did from the thought of what was coming next.

“I want to see your face,” Jon said as he turned over to lay on his back, his cock standing proud between them.

Lin dug his teeth in his bottom lip as he bent over Jon, but couldn’t help pressing a kiss to Jon’s parted lips on his way to grab the wrapper that they’d left on the bed by Jon’s side. He quickly pulled back again, tore it open and slid the condom over his cock, jacking once or twice while looking down at Jon, all blushing and eager and ready under him, too aroused to be ashamed of the intensity of his need. Jon wrapped his legs around Lin’s thighs and urged him closer. The bottle came in handy once more and Jon looked mesmerized when Lin poured some lube in his hand before he set it back down.

Lin took himself in hand, stroked once more to make sure he was as ready as could be, spread the lube all over his length, brushed his fingers against Jon one last time just to see him breathe in sharply, and lined himself up. “Are you sure about this?”

“It’s a bit late for second guessing, don’t you think so?” Jon teased. “Come on, I’m ready, lovebird, I need you, will you please fuck me?”

Lin took a deep breath, nodded and pushed in. Excruciatingly slowly. Getting used to the tightness, the heat. The feeling of _Jon_ absolutely surrounding him. He pulled back a bit and slid in, a few times, going that much deeper every time until he bottomed out and they looked at each other, incredulous for a second. Jon felt every inch as Lin filled him, felt every twitch of Lin’s cock as he clenched around him, wanted to bask in that feeling forever. Lin looked down at Jon’s cock, smiled at the bead of precome that threatened to drip onto his stomach, looked at how he was completely seated inside him, balls deep, thighs flush against each other.

“This −” Jon started.

“Is incredible,” Lin completed and Jon nodded, closing his eyes to focus on the sensations.

“Oh fuck, kiss me,” Jon said after a minute as he pushed himself up on one elbow, reached up, and grabbed the back of Lin’s neck to kiss him, which resulted in making Lin shift inside him ever so slightly, causing both of them to moan and a shiver to run up Jon’s spine when Lin’s arms hit the pillow on both sides of his head and his lips crashed against his.

With his legs still wrapped around Lin’s thighs, he started grinding up into Lin, bucking and trying to get as much friction as he possibly could with his erection trapped between their bodies. Every slide of Lin’s cock in his ass made him whimper and tried as he might, he really couldn’t string two thoughts together long enough to actually keep kissing Lin, so he just stayed there, panting, mouth gaping open against Lin’s, undignified noises escaping his throat.

“I really thought I was gonna go slow and take my time and be gentle but fuck, Jon, you feel so good, this is so fucking good, you’re so fucking _tight_ ,” Lin whispered in his ear as he dropped his head against Jon’s shoulder and started fucking him in earnest. Not holding back in the slightest. The sounds, the slaps of skin against skin rising in the air were heavenly to Jon’s ears.

Lin used one arm to keep supporting himself and brought his other hand down to roam at Jon’s body while his mouth busied itself with Jon’s neck − the stimulation that Lin was giving him wasn’t exactly precise but that was the least of Jon’s worries − scratching the skin with his nails, rolling, twisting and pinching at his nipple, tickling down the side of his ribs until he reached Jon’s waist and slid under his ass to hoist him up flush against him, giving himself the perfect angle to hit Jon’s prostate with every thrust, and, “oh, fuck, Lin, keep doing that, don’t stop, right there.” Every slide, every hit was punctuated by moans originating low in Jon’s chest and getting louder with every passing second.

Jon unwrapped an arm from Lin’s neck, scrambled and brought it around to Lin’s back to leave fiery red lines on his skin for Lin to remember him by. He threw his head back and Lin’s mouth immediately latched on him, biting hard enough to leave indents but not so much so that it would show past a few hours. Jon tightened his knees around Lin’s hips and met him halfway on every push and drag of his cock. He dug his fingers in Lin’s shoulder, who broke in a string of moans and curses timed with his hips. “Pretty boy, pretty thing, I’m so close, _fuck_ ,” he lost his rhythm some and Jon clenched around him as best he could, encouraging him.

“Come on, I know you want to, I know you can, I want you to come like this, Lin, please, keep fucking me,” Jon spurred him on.

Jon moved a hand up to cradle Lin’s head and snaked the other between their bodies, bringing himself closer to his own release. Lin pulled back, let go of Jon’s ass to hold himself up, using Jon’s legs as support, Jon let go of his neck and grabbed on to the back of his own thigh instead. Lin keened when he took in the sight before him. Jon could only imagine how he looked to Lin, disheveled, pure bliss etched on his face, likely a light sheen due to the sweat, one hand moving to hold himself open for Lin and the other jacking himself off, his eyes unfocused when he tried to make eye contact with Lin. Lin started pounding into him relentlessly, knocking the wind out of Jon’s lungs every single time, and Jon was infatuated with the absolute adoration and disbelief he could read on Lin’s face as he looked down at his own cock disappearing in its entirety inside Jon. A part of Jon’s brain, the part that could still hold a thought, latched onto how truly _intimate_ this felt. Sure, they were both needy and greedy and maybe a little gross but mostly they trusted each other, and they hadn't gotten this… close before. On a particularly good snap of Lin’s hips, Jon gave up on trying to look, broke into repeating Lin’s name in time with the slapping sounds of his thighs against his ass cheeks, gave himself up to Lin completely.

Lin’s moans climbed up in pitch and volume and it wasn’t many more stutters of his hips before he pushed in one more time and stilled, “fuck, Jon, oh fuck, pretty thing, oh god,” and Jon felt the warmth of Lin spilling in the condom, pretended the barrier wasn’t there, felt him twitch. He increased the speed of the hand that was on his own cock, Lin all but collapsed on him, panting. He clenched a few more times, his back arched of its own accord and he came in ropes on his own stomach, on his chest, in his hand, with Lin’s cock still deep inside him, filling him so good. Jon let out a broken sob in euphoria and gasped for a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He chuckled.

“Fuck, _Lin_ ,” he breathed out. “Oh my god, fuck, that was so good, this is so good, will you kiss me?” Jon asked, eyes still closed but attempting to grab Lin’s hand with his own to pull him closer to himself.

“Hold on, lemme just…” he trailed off. Pulled out gently, Jon winced. “Sorry, sorry.” Lin looked mesmerized and entirely dazed and, god, did Jon love him, even if it sounded a little insane to be saying this after only knowing him for so long.

Lin moved out from between his legs, slowly helped Jon stretch back down. He disposed of the used condom, tying it and throwing it in the basket not far from the bed. He trailed a finger lightly up the underside of Jon’s cock that was softening against his belly. Jon's entire body bucked at the contact, oversensitive. Lin kept his finger in contact with Jon’s skin and scraped some of Jon’s come off his stomach, looked at it for a second, then looked at Jon and spread it across Jon’s bottom lip before he bent down and kissed him. Jon melted. This shouldn't have been hot, but it was, so much so, his brain short-circuited some. They made out until exhaustion took over, only then getting up and cleaning themselves up enough to be able to get in bed without feeling indecent about it.

This topped all other Thanksgiving dinners in Jon’s book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original praise that Lin gave Jon in Spanish at the dinning table:  
> "Sí, pero si lo hago no puedo and ponerme a hablar de lo talentoso e increíble que es sin que le dé pena e intente convencer a todo el mundo de que estoy exagerando. No estoy exagerando. Él es increíble, tiene veintiún años y va a estar estrenando una obra en Broadway en como dos semanas, tiene una voz tan cálida que podría derretir hasta el más frío de los corazones y no sé si notaste sus ojos pero creo que me estoy ahogando en ellos desde que lo conocí. O quizás me hacen sentir que estoy volando. Y él no tiene idea."


	5. Somewhere in the Middle of Nowhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Jon pressed one last kiss to Lin’s lips and kept walking around the apartment for anything he needed to bring with him for a weekend in Ronks. With a playful slap to Jon’s butt, Lin went back to picking the music, bemoaning the fact that he hadn’t brought any blank CD and therefore couldn’t make the perfect mix. He had a reputation to uphold, even if Jon knew very little about the aforementioned reputation. He couldn’t even make a CD out of the playlist of love songs he had made just for the two of them._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, we want to say that the title is from the musical Come From Away. If you haven't listened to it yet, do yourself a favour and go do that, we'll wait.
> 
> Second, this chapter contains some awful slurs and comments that we **do not** support in any shape or form. Just know that, if it hurt you reading them, it hurt us even more writing them. And we both hate that they were necessary. So proceed with caution.
> 
> I'm pretty sure I had a third point, but I can't remember it right now, so, please enjoy!
> 
> As always, let's keep this away from prying eyes and thank you to everyone who helped us get this chapter out, you all know who you are. <3

“So,” Lin muttered between two kisses pressed in the crook of Jon’s neck as his hands roamed Jon’s chest, “what time do your parents expect us?”

Jon hummed happily, arching up into his husband’s touch. By all accounts, the sun was up in the sky, patterns painting themselves over their skin despite the grey clouds hovering above Manhattan.

“No fixed time. I said we'd call before we leave to give them an idea, nothing more. I'd rather we don’t… hm, fuck, Lin. Do that again,” Jon asked in a moan, making Lin chuckle. He complied nonetheless, gently worrying the skin over Jon's collarbone between his teeth again. “What was I saying?” Jon asked out loud before it came back to him. “Oh, yeah. Don't get there too late.”

“What's late to you?” Lin asked as he moved farther down his torso. Jon groaned.

“Have your way with me or ask me questions, don't do both at the same time, Lin, for the love of God and everything holy,” Jon replied in exasperation.

“Well, see, that's my point. Do I have time to have my way with you – adorable phrasing, considering last night, by the way – or not? Because that'll definitely affect my next course of action,” Lin said as he sat up, hands flat on Jon's chest, straddling his thighs.

Jon glanced at his alarm clock and quickly went over everything they had to do in order to be ready to leave, roughly estimating how long each bullet on the list should take, which was proving to be way too much math for his lust-fogged brain. Not only that, but he also had to take into consideration that the car rentals might not be opened on regular hours by virtue of it being Black Friday. Frankly, he didn’t want to be thinking about any of it.

“Damn it,” he breathed out as Lin raised an eyebrow. “Yes on jerking each other off, no on a proper fuck.”

Lin grinned brightly. “Works for me,” he said, almost singing his last word, as he bent forward, his lips quickly finding Jon’s pulse point.

Jon sighed in contentment, throwing his head back to allow Lin better access to his neck. As Jon raised his hands to hold onto his husband’s back and pull him closer, Lin’s own hands resumed their exploration of Jon’s upper body. In many ways, Lin was determined to learn every inch of Jon’s skin, to permanently commit it to his memory. Jon stifled a moan at a particularly good roll of Lin’s hips against his, making him pull away.

“Oh no, no, pretty boy. You don’t get to be all shy and quiet on me this morning. I want to hear you,” Lin said as he moved upwards, nosing at the junction where Jon’s ear and jaw met. “You’ll do that for me, won’t you?” Lin asked.

Jon hummed, letting out a shaky breath as he ground his hips up, silently begging for Lin to pay attention to his cock. Lin impatiently tapped his fingertips against Jon’s ribs, wanting an answer before he’d do anything to him.

“Yes,” he replied breathily. “Please, Lin.”

“I have to admit, I love hearing you beg me. It sounds lovely coming from you,” Lin teased in return and Jon groaned.

“Fuck you,” Jon shot back, unconvincingly.

Lin moved to push himself away from Jon with just enough space between their bodies for him to drag a hand down Jon’s torso until he found himself wrapping his fingers around Jon’s cock, his left arm firmly anchored to the mattress. He grinned down at Jon, who gulped in response.

“I’ll confess something else to you,” he said, entirely too casual as he slowly started to stroke Jon, leaning forward until his mouth was next to Jon’s ear, his curls tickling Lin’s nose. “I can’t take my mind off of last night. Can’t help but think of you all spread out under me, holding yourself open for me, jerking yourself off between our bodies, all blissed out while I fucked you, while I was making you _mine_.”

Lin smirked as he felt Jon growing fuller in his fist. He moved so that he could catch his earlobe between his teeth, making him moan and arch into him in response.

“Lin,” Jon whined, bucking up into his hand.

With a final nip, Lin let go of Jon’s earlobe, his tongue darting out to lick at the shell.

“I want to wreck you, pretty boy, you have no idea how badly. And I want to let _you_ wreck _me_.”

Jon twitched in Lin’s hand at the idea, moaning loudly as Lin lightly tightened his grip and quickened his pace, intent on getting Jon fully hard in the briefest moments.

“I knew you’d be into it,” Lin teased.

“Hard not to be, I can’t picture anyone who wouldn’t be happy to fuck you,” Jon shot back, making Lin chuckle.

Lin let go of Jon’s cock and Jon sucked in a breath in surprise.

“Christ, Lin, please, don’t stop,” he begged, groaning as Lin moved to press kisses to Jon’s chest, slowly making his way down.

He diverted his path to latch his mouth around one of Jon’s nipples, his index and thumb busying themselves with rolling and twisting the other one. Jon couldn’t have stopped grinding his hips into Lin if he had wanted to. And seeing as he was feeling slightly desperate for some friction, he really didn’t want to stop. He keened when Lin’s teeth bit into the flesh of his nipple.

“I’ve got you, don’t worry,” Lin reassured, after he soothed the flesh with his tongue.

He went back to trailing kisses down Jon’s torso until he reached his hips.

“So gorgeous,” he breathed out as he looked up to Jon before he held him close to his face and pressed open-mouthed kisses to the length of his cock.

That seemed to somehow shock Jon back into the present and he pushed himself up to his elbows, staring at Lin.

“Hey oh, lovebird. I said we had time for _hand_ jobs, not _blow_ jobs!” Jon tried to complain.

“What? I can’t give good morning kisses to my favourite cock in the world, now?” Lin asked innocently.

“I’m honoured that you like mine more than your own, that's a new development?” Jon snapped back, playfully.

“Try giving kisses to your _own_ cock, I’m telling you, not doable.”

“Are you speaking from experience?”

“You might want to shut that beautiful mouth of yours before I change my mind and leave you hanging, pretty boy,” he replied, challenging.

“I'd like to see you try to keep me quiet. Plus, I thought you wanted to hear me? Make up your mind, lovebird,” Jon teased.

“How about yes on sex noises and no on actual, grammatically correct sentences?” Lin asked back, raising an eyebrow.

Jon replied with a roll of his hips into Lin’s awaiting hands and a cheeky grin on his face. He moaned theatrically, entirely indulging Lin in the most playful of teases.

Lin tugged at him a few times without breaking eye contact, making sure to get Jon fully standing at attention before he brought his mouth close again. He could feel Jon fill out in his hand and reveled in the effect that he was having on him – he doubted that being the direct cause of Jon’s arousal would ever get old. Looking straight into his eyes, he licked a broad stripe on the underside of Jon’s cock, eliciting a low moan, genuine this time, and the furrowing of Jon’s brows in response. He kept his hand stroking in slow movements and pointed his tongue to draw patterns just under the head, hoping it'd get the same reaction out of Jon as the action would with him – if the way that Jon closed his eyes and let his head thump back was any indication, he wasn't doing too bad. With one last kiss, Lin opened his mouth and moved to engulf the tip of Jon’s cock in his mouth, instantly hollowing his cheeks. Jon took in a sharp breath, rolled his hips in time with the bobbing of Lin’s head up and down his shaft and punctuated each of Lin’s strokes with a moan or a plea.

Lin wriggled to sit on his haunches between Jon’s parted knees, freeing both hands in the process. He moved to part Jon’s legs some more, giving himself all the access he wanted now that he didn’t have to hold himself up. He reattached his tongue to the slit at the head of Jon’s cock with the briefest pause he could manage. He used a hand to scratch at the skin of Jon’s thigh, knowing it would spark fiery red lines on the pale flesh within a few seconds, and God, did Lin love seeing remnants of his passage on Jon’s skin. With his head moving up and down to a steady rhythm, Lin brought his fingers from the base of Jon’s cock to lightly graze at the thin skin of his balls. Jon broke from his steady moans into words then, to Lin’s utmost delight.

“Oh, Lin, fuck yeah,” he spoke from higher up the bed. “Hm, that's good, keep doing that,” he asked.

Lin hummed in response and played around, fondling, tugging, taking turns between pulling and rolling Jon’s balls. He reached just behind with one finger to stroke across Jon’s perineum, knowing how sensitive that tiny patch of skin could be. He let go of rubbing Jon’s leg to encourage him to buck into Lin’s mouth any way he wanted and relocated to play with a nipple instead, pulling and twisting, dedicated to make everything as pleasurable as it could be for Jon. He let his tongue work as he focused on following the rhythm that Jon was setting with his hips, doing his best to just take whatever Jon was giving him.

After a particularly good pull of Lin’s fingers around Jon’s balls, Lin heard his breath hitch and felt both of Jon’s hands on his head, his fingers tangling themselves in his hair. Tightly. Jon was holding him in place firmly and started thrusting in deeper, testing the waters, seeing how much Lin could take. Lin looked up at him, made eye contact as best he could in his position. He could tell that Jon was trying his best to be careful and not to let his lust take over past Lin’s comfort zone, and he appreciated that, but he also wanted to make Jon lose control. He retrieved his hand from Jon’s chest, digging his nails in the skin on his way down. Without taking his eyes off of Jon’s, he brought his fingers back down to start stroking and pumping Jon, meeting him on every thrust. Jon’s moans were getting louder and less restrained, which only helped to motivate Lin further.

Held immobile like he was by Jon, all that was left for him to do was making sure to keep his mouth open, trying to keep from gagging if Jon’s cock pushed a little bit farther down his throat than entirely comfortable, ensuring that both his hands were busy between his legs and around his length, and playing with his tongue as best he could to string Jon along.

“Oh, Lin, you feel so good, you look so good with your mouth stretched like this,” Jon said, looking intently at him with furrowed brows and flushed cheeks. “You're doing so well, can I fuck your mouth, can I, please, Lin?”

Lin moaned at that, as much in reaction to Jon’s words and as a way of spurring him on, of telling him that yes, he could use him and be rougher with him. He wouldn't fight Jon on semantics and tell him that technically he was already doing just that, at least not now. He had more important things on his mind.

“Fuck, this is almost embarrassing, I’m getting closer already, Lin,” Jon panted, each phrase punctuated by Jon’s cock nudging at the back of Lin’s throat.

Lin closed his eyes, feeling them watering under the assault, and concentrated on being what Jon needed him to be for the time being. Tug and pull, twist on the upstroke, keeping his throat open. The finger that was rubbing at Jon’s perineum dipped a bit lower to rub at the sensitive skin of Jon’s rim and it wasn't many more thrusts of Jon’s hips in his mouth before he let the pressure of his hands alleviate to allow Lin to move off if he wanted, before he spoke again.

“Don't stop, Lin, don't stop, I’m gonna come, oh, _oh fuck_ ,” but Lin didn't want to move so he used his newfound freedom of movement to start bobbing up and down again, meeting Jon every time and redoubling his efforts until Jon’s breath completely caught in his throat and he pulsed thick on Lin’s tongue in rhythmic spasms of his body.

Lin kept his cheeks hollow and stroked him through it until Jon arched off the bed and his hands clumsily pulled Lin’s head away with no finesse. He panted for a little while, Lin rested his head against Jon’s leg to give him time to recover.

“Come up here, lovebird, will you?” Jon asked, and when Lin looked at him he had his eyes closed and his cheeks flushed and he looked absolutely blissful. “Come _here_ ,” he repeated, dragging his vowels and tapping lightly against the side of Lin’s head where he could reach it. Lin scrambled up and half laid down on Jon, resting his head up with one hand and stroking Jon’s face with the other. Lin felt a surge of pride swell his heart when he looked at Jon, all relaxed and pliant and satisfied and knowing _he_ was responsible for it all. When Jon opened his eyes to find Lin’s, he could read nothing but an overwhelming amount of affection and love and he wouldn't have been able to stop himself from kissing Jon if he'd tried.

Jon brought a hand up to cup Lin’s face and let his tongue dart out to drag across Lin’s bottom lip, tasting his remains on the warm skin.

He lazily kept making out with Lin while he got his wits back about him. Lin would have loved to pretend like he had more patience and self-control than he did, but Jon had just come in his mouth and he was kissing him and stealing his taste off of Lin's tongue so no jury would convict Lin for grinding down against Jon’s leg. Jon chuckled into the kiss.

“Greedy, are we?” He teased.

“It’s your fault,” Lin shot back. “Don’t act all coy and innocent, now.”

Jon slid a hand down Lin’s back until he reached to grab a handful of his ass, causing Lin to grind down harder onto him and to gasp against his mouth.

“Something you want, lovebird?”

Lin groaned at that. “You know what I want, come on, Jon,” Lin whined.

“I mean, do I? Maybe you should tell me, you know, just to make sure…” Jon teased with a roll of his hips against Lin's straining cock.

“Just, jerk me off or suck me off, I don't really care, just make me come,” Lin half-begged.

He didn't really have it in himself to be patient. Not when Jon was being a massive tease. Jon took a moment to flip them over and settle between his legs, hovering above Lin and looking down at his body, flushed and aroused beneath him. With kisses trailing across Lin’s jaw, down his neck to his collarbone, Jon dragged a hand over Lin’s ribcage. Lin felt him push his legs further apart, felt exposed; tried, to no avail, to contain the shivers running down his spine at the anticipation and the trails of goosebumps erupting on his skin following the drag of Jon's nails. He couldn't help the way his hips bucked and his cock jumped when Jon’s fingers finally wrapped themselves around him. Nor could he help the whimper escaping his parted lips.

Jon dragged his warm hand up once and held, his thumb skirting up to gather the wetness at the tip of Lin's cock and drawing tight circles at the head. Lin arched into the touch when he felt Jon’s tongue against the taut skin of his neck almost immediately replaced by sharp teeth digging in. He keened when Jon did nothing but tease for, for, god knows how long. Too long, by all regards.

“Come on, pretty boy, do something, _anything_ ,” Lin encouraged in a pleading tone.

“How is this,” Jon let go of his grip to only, so lightly, graze the tips of his fingers down to the start of Lin's erection, “not counting as anything?”

The touch was infuriating, it was an absolute tease and Lin didn't like tickling, he really didn't, but he didn't have it in himself to complain. He groaned. “You know what I mean, Jon. Fuck,” he added in frustration.

“I think I do, but it doesn't hurt to ask for it, does it?” Jon asked.

He was so sure of himself, Lin maybe wanted to smack him, but he knew better than to try and hit the person who had their teeth in your skin and their hands on your flushed, hard cock.

He groaned. “Pretty boy, keep kissing me and keep touching me,” Lin pleaded, his hands going to scramble at Jon’s back.

“And where did your manners go, lovebird?” Jon retorted, his fingertips never stopping their infuriatingly light movements around Lin's length. “If you like it so much when I beg, maybe you should return the favour.”

“Will you please stop teasing and actually get me off?” Lin finally asked with his fingernails digging into Jon's back. “Please?”

Jon hissed as he felt Lin's nails into his skin, dropping his forehead against Lin's shoulder as he let his fingers dance around Lin's cock. He could understand where Lin was coming from. If being told point blank he wasn't allowed to come was hot in his humble opinion, having his needs being completely disregarded like that was frustrating, to say the least. It could almost be considered an act of compassion when Jon finally started jerking Lin off purposefully, hadn't it been for the fact that Jon wanted to make him come as badly as Lin had.

Lin knew he wouldn't last for a very long time, not after having had Jon fuck his mouth and come in it, not after he'd teased him like he just did. And, Jon having him admitting to what he wanted out loud turned out to be an incredibly effective way of getting him going.

He panted. “Jon, please.” Pleading was easier once he'd started.

“You're okay, I got you,” Jon whispered as he moved back up to kiss Lin. His hand never relented its pace.

Lin's pleas slowly evolved to wordless, breathless gasps and moans against Jon's mouth. He brought his hands up to tangle in Jon's curls when he couldn't keep kissing properly – too overcome as he was, not enough. Jon moved off to the side of his head, touched the lobe of Lin's ear with the pointed tip of his tongue. Lin couldn't help the shiver of arousal that ran down the nerves in his spine when Jon started whispering hot in his ear that he could come, that he should, that Jon wanted him to. His hips twitched and bucked to keep meeting Jon halfway on every stroke, he was so close, _so close_.

“Oh, Jon, please don’t stop, keep going, _fuck_ ,” and he came, soundless, arching off the bed and pressing his chest into Jon's. His heartbeat was racing, the muscles in his thighs shaking and his lungs stalling as he let the feeling wash over him, Jon gently stroking him through it before Lin let go of his hair and allowed him to collapse on the bed by his side.

Jon held Lin close to him for a while, lightly scratching at his scalp and letting his thoughts run free. He had half a mind to send Lin off to shower first while he cooked them breakfast, but considering the way they were cuddling, he needed to shower just as badly. It took some convincing, but Jon eventually managed to nudge Lin out of bed and under the hot stream. They could probably have washed off in less time than they did, but neither one of them cared, too engrossed with each other as they were. Both would argue that the other looked irresistible with redder lips and water running down his body.

(It didn’t help that Lin wasn’t very good at resisting Jon to begin with.)

After breakfast, they rode the train to the closest car rentals and, if Jon was honest, he had expected the whole process to turn into an unnecessary ordeal considering the awful streak of bad luck he seemed to be cursed with lately. He was surprised when it turned out to be a breeze with nothing more than a bunch of paperwork to fill and sign. Weaving through Manhattan traffic to go back to his place however… that was another story. Jon glanced over at Lin at a red light and snickered as a thought crossed his mind.

“What’s funny?” Lin asked, curiously.

Jon considered telling him but changed his mind at the last second.

“I’m not telling. It’ll ruin your reaction,” he settled with. Jon sincerely hoped they were going to drive by a buggy once they got to the farmlands of Lancaster County. He wondered how much of a shock the empty backroads leading to Ronks were going to be to Lin.

Lin squinted at him for a moment before he shrugged it off and started fiddling with the radio, frowning as Jon drove them back to his apartment. He made a stop at a deli after Lin had forced him to, claiming that they couldn’t go on a three-hour car ride without snacks. He also mentioned something about it being against every rule of going on a roadtrip. Jon was pretty certain that said set of rules didn’t actually exist.

While Lin was mostly packed – he really needed not to forget his toothbrush on Jon’s bathroom counter – Jon hadn’t started yet, since he’d busied himself with making them breakfast instead. So, as Jon rummaged through his drawers to pull out everything he needed, Lin looked through Jon’s meagre CD collection, trying to find things they could listen to in the car.

“Is that all you’ve got?” Lin called out from the living room, frowning in concentration as he pulled out _Wicked_ , not in the least surprised to find it there.

“Hm?” Jon asked as he poked his head out of his room, curious to see what Lin was talking about. When Lin vaguely gestured to the tower, his eyes still trained on the titles, Jon couldn’t help but blush. “Oh hm…” Hearing the sudden discomfort in his voice, Lin looked up. “Yeah… Sorry it isn’t as impressive as yours... Or your parents’, I guess,” he apologized.

Lin made his way over to Jon and pressed a soft kiss against his lips, one hand going to Jon’s hip.

“If you don’t mind me asking, did you bring any from Ronks when you moved here?” Lin asked, his thumb having found Jon’s skin and lightly stroking it.

“A couple, why?” Jon replied, obviously confused by Lin’s question.

“And how long ago did you move here?” Lin went on, ignoring Jon for the time being.

“Less than a year ago, if I have to be honest with you,” he replied with a frown. “Why are you asking me this, Lin?”

Lin shrugged before he gave Jon another kiss.

“Just curious, that’s all. If that’s what you bought in less than a year living here in the big city, then, that’s a perfectly good collection.” Lin leaned in closer, putting a hand on the door frame to help support him. “Besides, that just means we’ll have less doubles when we move in together,” he said in a whisper, trying to ignore the butterflies that had taken flight in his stomach.

“You… You want to do that?” Jon stammered, blushing furiously.

“You mean, do I want to live with my husband for the rest of forever? Let me think about this one real quick,” Lin paused for effect, pretending to ponder about it. “Well… Yeah, definitely, duh.”

“That was a stupid question, wasn't it?” Jon asked shyly, letting out a nervous laugh.

“Just a little bit,” Lin replied with an adorable smile that had for effect of Jon scrunching down just a little to hug him tightly.

“I love you,” Jon whispered in the crook of Lin’s neck. “I can't wait to move in with you.”

“Love you, too, beautiful,” Lin replied as he dug his fingers a little deeper into Jon’s skin.

Jon pressed one last kiss to Lin’s lips and kept walking around the apartment for anything he needed to bring with him for a weekend in Ronks. With a playful slap to Jon’s butt, Lin went back to picking the music, bemoaning the fact that he hadn’t brought any blank CD and therefore couldn’t make the perfect mix. He had a reputation to uphold, even if Jon knew very little about the aforementioned reputation. He couldn’t even make a CD out of the playlist of love songs he had made just for the two of them.

He finished picking the albums around the same time as Jon finished packing. “Got everything?” Lin inquired when he saw Jon standing about the room, hands on his hips and brows furrowed in concentration.

“No. There’s something I know I’m forgetting, but I can’t put my finger on it,” Jon replied, scratching the back of his head.

“Well… I’m assuming there are stores in Ronks in case you need to get it?”

“Lancaster doesn’t really do 24/7 stores, though,” he shot back before he shrugged. “You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into, do you?” Jon asked rhetorically with a smile. “Alright, let’s go. I’ll figure it out later.”

Jon made one last round around the apartment, making sure that nothing important was missing, as far as he could tell, and that every light was turned off except for the lamp in the living room. He grabbed his bag, Lin grabbed his own and the CDs he'd picked, and they made their way back out. They threw their bags in the trunk and Jon slid behind the wheel to start the car as Lin contemplated which CD to put on first. He settled on one as Jon merged into the traffic, already muttering under his breath that everything was going to be fine once they hit the highway.

To his credit, Jon cursed only twice in the thirty-something minutes − thanks, New York traffic! − it took them to get to get to Lincoln Tunnel, which was a _lot_ less often than Lin would have. He probably would have sworn every two minutes. Maybe more.

Lin made a point to grimace and gag when they passed the marking of the state borders between New Jersey and New York, Jon chuckling at his antics. They were singing along to the song playing when they emerged from the tunnel and Jon cut himself short, his eyes growing wide and almost visibly paling. Lin kept going for a couple more bars when he realized his duet partner wasn’t singing anymore and he looked over at him, immediately worried when he saw his face.

“What’s wrong, pretty boy?”

“I just realized… What I’d forgotten... Shoot!” Jon exclaimed, the censored swearing making Lin stifle a laugh.

“What is it? I can’t help if you don’t tell me.”

“I told you I had to call Ma before we left so she’d know when to expect us and I completely forgot! _We_ completely forgot!”

Jon was already looking for an exit he could take in order to find a payphone, not realizing that Lin wasn't living in 1992 anymore and had his own cellphone. That they could use to call her. From the car. Lin snickered and pulled it out, waving it lightly in the air before he flipped it open.

“Oh…” Jon trailed after he’d seen it from the corner of his eye. “717...” he started reciting but stopped himself when Lin brought it up to his ear before he was even done.

Jon threw him a confused look and Lin shrugged.

“Saved it when you called from there last… Hey Julie!” Lin started explaining as it rung, seamlessly switching as soon as Julie picked up on her end. “It’s Lin, we just left Manhattan, we’re in New Jersey,” he said, disgust thick in his voice as he dropped the state’s name. “Can you believe this? Me! In _Jersey_! I might just need a shower as soon as we get home. Is there an overabundance of gel in my hair yet?” Lin asked Jon who blinked in bewilderment. Not really an answer, but one all the same. “I can feel Jersey’s air contaminating my brain cells! Is that a thing, Julie?”

Jon vaguely heard his mother laugh over the line and Lin threw him a wink. Ever the charmer, wasn’t he?

“We should be here in…” Lin looked at Jon who raised two fingers up followed by the internationally known hand gesture for more or less. “Two hours? Two and a half? Something like that, depending on how long we’re trapped in this hell hole known as New Jersey. We’ll see you soon! Jon waves hi. Or maybe goodbye. Or both. Bye Julie!” Lin said happily before he hung up, grinning brightly.

“What’s so wrong with New Jersey?” Jon asked as Lin slid his phone back in his jeans pocket.

“Don’t ask me, I’ve been conditioned to hate it since the day I was born. It’s like Slytherin versus Gryffindor, you know? Nobody remembers why we hate each other, we just do,” he said with a shrug, making Jon laugh.

“If you say so,” he added, shaking his head lightly. “Thanks for calling her.”

“Anytime, Nina,” Lin sing-songed in response.

The high spirits settled some after that and they sat comfortably, either in silence or bopping at the tunes on the radio, gracieuseté of one-day DJ Lin. Jon had driven the itinerary often enough in his life to be comfortable doing so, and it was always easier coming home than going away, as far as habit went, so he tried his best to make sure that Lin wouldn't have too bad of a time in Jersey. Maybe he’d drive the I-78 on their way back instead. It was a bit longer, but at least they’d spend longer in Pennsylvania than in New Jersey.

“So! Tell me! Who am I going to meet?” Lin asked after what Jon was certain was the longest Lin had been silent around him. The mindless singing didn’t count.

“Hm… Pa, Ma and Melany, probably?” Jon replied, confused by Lin’s question.

“That’s it?” Lin urged, trying to get more out of Jon as his excitement obviously deflated.

Jon sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“We’ve already established that it’s probably in everybody’s best interest if you don’t meet David. Or at least, _I_ don’t want him to meet you.”

“Are you ashamed of me or something?” Lin asked sadly − if Jon could have slammed on the brake to stare at Lin, he would have. But as it were, the best he could do was to throw him an incredulous look.

“No! Of course not!” Jon was dumbfounded. “You’re brilliant, you’re passionate, you’re doing things I couldn’t even dream of trying. Why would I be ashamed of you?”

“Then why don’t you want me to meet your family? You’ve met all of mine,” Lin countered.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to, lovebird. It’s just that apart from my parents, Melany and _maybe_ David someday down the line, there’s no one else for you to meet.”

“What about your grandparents? Uncles? Aunts? Cousins? Don’t you have any of those?” Lin insisted, oblivious to the deathly grip Jon had on the steering wheel, of his knuckles turning white.

Jon let out a laugh that was filled with more pain than mirth. He could only wish they could still have large family dinners at the farm.

“Ma’s mother died a few years ago, when I was still in high school. As for her father…” Jon sighed, making a point of keeping his eyes on the road and nowhere else. “Grandpa Witmer had a stroke not so long after grandma’s death and he just… Developed coprolalia, is the way to say it I suppose.”

Lin waited to see if Jon was going to expand on his answer, but seeing as he wasn’t, he tried to spur him on.

“What’s that?”

“Basically, he involuntarily says things he shouldn’t. Things that are both extremely mean and hurtful and it’s not something I want to subject you to,” Jon explained and, like clockwork, Lin asked the one question he didn’t want to hear.

“Like what?”

Jon threw him a sidelong glance, clenched and unclenched his jaw a couple of times before he found it in himself to answer.

“Last time I went to visit him, it was to say goodbye because I was moving to New York and I didn’t know when I’d get to see him again, or if I even would. I ended up running out of there while he screamed his head off at me that I was just a fucking faggot looking to get my ass eaten in New York. And that’s the _mildest_ thing he said that day. So you? Meeting him? Out of the freaking question. Firstly because I refuse to put that burden on you, to let him insult you like that despite knowing that it’s not his fault and that he, hopefully, doesn’t believe any of it. And secondly, because I’m afraid you’ll get even more of a verbal beating because of your sexual orientation, our relationship, and your family’s origins. I don’t need to hear my grandfather yell racial slurs at my husband, thank you very much. So, you’ll meet him once he’s in his coffin. Not a second before that,” he explained, wrapping it up with the coldest voice Lin had ever heard Jon use.

Lin swallowed hard, feeling guilty for having pried to get an answer.

“What… What about your father’s parents?” Lin asked, despite fearing Jon’s response.

Jon let out another joyless laugh, which was quickly making it to the top of Lin’s list of the sounds he hated the most.

“That’s even more fucked up,” Jon said, deploring the fact that the highway was mostly straightforward and therefore required a minimum amount of concentration.

Lin’s eyes grew wide both at the admission and at Jon’s swearing. He couldn’t see how it could be, but if Jon thought it was worse, the only thing he could do was to steel himself for what was to come.

“My father was born in an Old Order Mennonite family,” he started, throwing a glance in Lin’s direction to gauge his reaction. Upon seeing his confused expression, Jon knew he had to give more explanations. He started over a couple of times, trying to find the appropriate words to describe the religion. “They’re not exactly the same, but they’re very similar to the Amish. They just… Do everything plainly, I guess. Don’t believe in the military or the use of armed forces against another human. Very centered around what you could call the values of the old word. Land labour, unshakable faith in God, that sort of things. It’s… It’s hard to explain. There’s so many things, but none of them really make sense for an outsider. They don’t even make sense to me most of the time, and I grew up surrounded by both communities.”

Lin hummed in response, remembering that Jon had told him about growing up between two Amish farms while they were on the plane flying them back home.

“Are you? Mennonite, I mean,” he asked after a minute.

“No, I was getting to that. My dad left the Order some time after he started dating my mom and it became more serious than just a high school crush. He decided to join the Methodist church instead of having her join the Mennonites. His parents didn’t take it all too well. Having a family member who decides to go English − that’s how they call non-Mennonites and non-Amish − is… well, while it’s not the end of the world, but it’s not really a reason to celebrate either. In most cases, they’ll keep in touch and all that. But my grandparents… I don’t know what happened exactly. Pa never talks about it, about them, really. I just know that it put a strain on their relationship. I don’t know if it’s because he left, if it’s because they didn’t approve of his then girlfriend now wife, if they had a huge fight or what. We used to get birthday and Christmas cards from them and would send some back to them plus, you know, a couple of visit throughout the year, but that was about it. And then…” Jon sighed and shook his head. “Then I had the brilliant idea to come out and all hell broke loose.”

“How do you mean?” Lin asked as scenarios started forming themselves in his mind. Maybe it wouldn’t be too much of a bad idea to let everyone in the Miranda clan know how grateful he was for them taking the news of his relationship, of his marriage to another man, so well and so gracefully.

Jon took a swig from his bottle of water, trying to gain some time while he searched for the right words to explain the events that had unfolded in a way that made sense.

“There’s this thing in both the Amish and Mennonite communities called ‘shunning’. In its simplest form, it’s torture. If the Bishop says so, if he thinks you deserve to be punished, the community will just… Completely ignore you. Act like you’re dead, basically, mostly out of fear they’ll get shunned too if they’re seen talking to you. Even your family will ignore your existence if you’re shunned while they aren’t. Everyone just goes on as if you were never there in the first place.”

Lin felt a bit sick to his stomach at the thought of being excluded like that. He couldn’t imagine what he’d do if everyone he knew just suddenly turned their backs on him just because someone else said to. Or how he’d react if he was ordered to stop talking to a friend or a family member.

“But… I thought you said they were peaceful?”

“They are. It’s just the whole shunning concept that is… Monstrous, really,” Jon said with a shrug. “One of those things that doesn’t really make sense to outsiders, I guess,” he trailed off, taking another sip of water. He really hated thinking about that aspect. “Anyway. Being gay in Mennonite communities is… A toss up really, seeing as each congregation decides on whether they condemn or support homosexuality. I didn’t know for sure where the Mennonites of Ronks stood when I came out but… I don’t know. I didn’t want to care. I didn’t want to believe that it mattered because they were my grandparents, you know? I just thought that… They’d either be okay with it or learn to be because they loved me. But they did neither. Seeing as I’m not Mennonite, the Bishop didn’t have a say on whether or not I could be shunned because of my sexual orientation, but my grandparents decided they could do it. Unofficially, that is.”

“Two questions,” Lin interrupted and Jon hummed to spur him on. “First, can you be unshunned? Second, has the community shunned you too or was it just your grandparents?”

“Usually, yes, you could repent. Depending on the matter, on the Bishop and on whether he judges you’ve done your penance or not. It all comes down to if he thinks you’ve done enough to be forgiven, confessed to your sins, purified yourself of whatever you did wrong and all that. It’s a complicated process. And since I’m not going to stop being gay just to please them, especially not now that I have you…” Jon offered Lin his first smile since they started talking about his family and Lin reached over to gently squeeze his thigh in response. “It doesn’t matter to them. I’m not part of the church anyway, they see me as English, even more so since I moved to New York, so most of the community will still talk to me in the streets of Ronks. Ma and Pa made a point of only keeping around those who were okay with me being gay. I think that’s why they have such a hard time tolerating what’s been happening between me and David these past few years. They’ve clearly shown where they stood on the whole matter and where they expect the people they surround themselves with to stand but David… David is leaning more towards Grandpa and Grandma Groff’s opinion and I think it’s driving them insane. Or at least, it’s truly disappointing for them.”

“Have you heard from your grandparents since you came out?” Lin asked sadly.

“They sent a Christmas card that year and completely ignored my existence in it. Simply addressed it to Julie, Jim and David, wrote something about how they wished the Lord would guide their lost sheep back to them, that line has been engraved into my brain ever since. Pa was in a fury. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this angry in my life. Ma was livid. I don’t think David cared. Funnily enough, I wasn’t angry. I felt numb. I couldn’t believe this was happening. All I remember is Pa throwing the card in the fireplace and stomping to the closest phone. I heard him screaming as Ma dressed me up − I was too stunned to do it myself − and ushered me outside to take care of the horses but… That’s it. We haven’t spoken since. It’s been… Almost a mutual shunning if you will. I have no interest in having them in my life if they’re not interested in having me in theirs or change me to fit their vision. So, if they want to pretend I’m dead, fine. I can do the same thing.”

Lin sighed and ran a hand through his hair before he gave Jon’s thigh another squeeze. He wished he could have pulled Jon into a tight embrace, felt like they could both use the hug after all of this. Neither one of them noticed that the CD that had been playing was long over, despite the silence stretching out between them.

“I’m… I’m so sorry, pretty boy. Both for forcing you to talk about it and for what happened. You don’t deserve any of it.”

Jon shrugged, taking the exit to merge onto a different highway.

“It’s life, I guess. I can introduce you to Melany, who is probably the only reason why I don’t get angry when I hear people talk about the Mennonite church, to our goats and to our horses, but that’s pretty much it. And, honestly, I’d avoid kissing and holding hands in public. It’s generally quiet and peaceful in Lancaster and in Ronks but… I don’t really want to stir the pot over something that could wait? I don’t want my parents to suffer the consequences of our actions.”

Lin nodded in understanding, munching on his beef jerky thoughtfully. Jon ran a hand through his hair and reached for his bottle of water, taking a long drink out of it and emptying it.

“Still wanna live with me?” Jon asked in a small voice, as though he was afraid of the answer.

Lin sharply turned his head to look at Jon, quickly dropping the jerky and placing his hand on Jon’s shoulder.

“Hey… Stop it. That doesn’t change any of my feelings for you, okay?” Lin reassured.

“It doesn’t?”

“No, of course not. I understand you a bit better now. And I love you. This doesn’t change anything, it just makes me want to take care of you even more and keep you out of harm’s way. Can you trust that, please?”

“I…” Jon started before he shook his head to clear his thoughts. “Okay. I trust you. And I love you, too.”

Lin smiled softly.

“Thank you for telling me what’s happening in your family. That was very brave of you.”

Jon snorted a joyless laugh.

“Yeah, well… You married into this shitshow that is my family. The least I could do was let you in on all the drama so you know which landmine to avoid once we’re there.”

Lin hummed thoughtfully and only then seemed to realize there was no music playing anymore. He reached into the glove box to switch CD, deploring his decision not to bring _Thoroughly Modern Millie_ on the ground that they had listened to it the day before. That certainly would have cheered Jon up, even if just a little. Lin would do anything to have Jon smiling again.

It took a while, but Jon seemed to leave his thoughts behind as the sun started to set, shining brighter as the sky grew darker, pulling Lin in like a moth to a flame. Jon was finally singing along when he had to turn on the headlights, letting his husband take it all in. Lin wasn’t sure what he expected out of rural Pennsylvania, but the fact that whatever road they were on was considered a highway while going straight through a small village and without any street lamp was… Well, kind of a surprise, really. He couldn’t help but think that Vega Alta, out in Puerto Rico, was practically more well-lit than this corner of Pennsylvania.

“Are we there yet?” Lin asked curiously and Jon chuckled.

“Almost, lovebird. We’re in Gap, so twenty minutes, give or take.”

Lin gaped at him.

“That’s a store,” he said matter-of-factly which made Jon laugh.

“Yeah, well, here in Pennsylvania, it’s also a town,” he replied, grinning.

“A very dark town,” Lin stated.

“Ronks is just as dark and quiet. You think you’ll be able to sleep, Mister Skyscraper?” Jon teased and Lin laughed at the terrible nickname.

“I’ll have you know that it doesn’t bother me when I visit my grandparents in Vega Alta. You might have to sing me to sleep once we’re there, though,” he replied proudly. He didn’t say it, but he’d accept orgasms as a way to tire him out, too.

They drove for a while longer, Lin bouncing excitedly in his seat when they passed by a road sign that pointed in the direction to Ronks. Jon made the turn at the light which somehow offended Lin because apparently, highways weren’t supposed to have red lights, but Jon let the comment roll off of him, shaking his head in amusement. They drove deeper into the backroads of America until Jon flipped on his blinker and turned into the driveway, parking the rental next to his father’s red truck.

Jon killed the engine and sat back, taking a minute to look at his parents’ brightly lit farmhouse. He allowed his excitement and his anticipation at Lin meeting his parents bubble up inside of him, fidgeting in his seat. Meanwhile, Lin leaned forward in his own seat, trying to get as much of the house as he could through the windshield.

“Woah,” he breathed out. “This is where you grew up?” Lin asked, sounding as though he didn’t quite believe it.

“Mhmm,” Jon hummed. “It’s even better in the daylight, but that’ll have to wait until tomorrow. Come on,” he went on, playfully shoving Lin’s shoulder, “let’s get inside. I’m starving.”

Lin nodded and proceeded to unbuckle his seatbelt, open his door and get out without taking his eyes off of the house. And without falling face first to the ground, to his credit. When he finally turned his back to the Groff’s residence to go get his backpack, he was met with the vast expense of the starry night sky of rural Pennsylvania and he whistled quietly, air leaving his lungs at the stunning sight in front of him.

“Okay. I’m gonna miss that,” Lin breathed out and Jon, who had opened the trunk and was already pulling out his duffel, looked up to him, humming in question. Lin pointed to the sky. “It doesn’t look like that in Manhattan. Why doesn’t it look like that? It’d be a lot better if it did,” he whined childishly.

Jon huffed a small laugh, handing Lin his bag before he shut the trunk closed. He crossed the few steps separating them and he took Lin’s hand, burying his nose into Lin’s hair.

“We can come back out after dinner to stargaze if you want,” he whispered, his lips brushing against Lin’s ear.

“Yes please,” he replied breathily after a shiver ran down his spine.

“Done deal,” Jon said as he pulled away, tugging Lin along as he walked to the front porch and up the few steps.

Jon tried the handle and he smiled gratefully when the door gave way without resistance. At least his parents had thought ahead and kept the door unlocked for them.

“Ma? Pa?” Jon called as they walked in.

Jon dropped his bag on the floor to take his jacket off, motioning for Lin to do the same. He'd just finished hanging them up when Julie came into the foyer.

“Jonathan, my angel,” she greeted with a sweet smile, throwing the dishcloth she had been drying her hands with over her shoulder. Lin raised an eyebrow at the nickname and Jon shrugged it off. He’d explain later. Maybe.

“Hi, mom,” he said, pressing a kiss to her right cheek. She gave his arms a squeeze before she turned to Lin, smiling kindly.

“Hello, Lin,” she said, opening her arms for him to embrace her.

“Hello, Julie.” Lin didn’t hesitate before he hugged her tightly and gave her a kiss on the left cheek, grinning proudly.

“Where's Pa?” Jon asked with a confused frown, having expected him to trail behind Julie to see Lin and meet him as soon as humanly possible.

“In the stables, working,” she sighed, shaking her head and stressing the last word.

Jon turned to look at her, surprise painted all over his face.

“Why? What's he doing in there? I thought you guys were ready for the winter?”

“We are. However, the Robertsons, down the road, are not anymore,” she explained with a shrug. “Remember Tally?”

“Yeah, of course. They love that girl. What happened?”

Lin followed the exchange with a confused frown, wondering who that Tally was.

“Well, she slipped this morning and dislodged a horseshoe, so they brought her here and your father realized that all three of the remaining ones needed to be replaced too − probably why she slipped, if you want my opinion. That's what he's working on. And you know the Robertsons, you know how Abraham gets. They need Tally for pretty much everything. He was pretty rattled when he got here. We lent them Starlight for the time being,” she explained.

“What? Why?” Jon whined. “Why didn't you lend them Buck instead?”

“And risk having your brother come here and end up riding Starlight?” Julie countered.

“Wait,” Lin interjected. “Tally is a horse?”

“Yeah,” Jon confirmed. “So are Buck and Starlight,” he added for Lin's benefit before he turned back to his mother. “When was the last time David rode Buck? He wasn't even riding him anymore when I was still living here.”

“You haven't ridden Starlight in a while either, angel,” Julie argued.

“Yeah, but I'm three hours away from him! David is twenty minutes out! The truck was packed and ready to go and I went on one last ride because I knew I couldn't for a while!”

“I know all of that, Jonathan. But you also know that Starlight is much more docile than Buccaneer is ever going to be. They never would have been able to attach their buggy to Buck while Starlight didn't even whine. It was the right thing to do,” Julie said, her tone bringing finality to the subject.

Jon huffed in indignation before he nodded, feeling resigned. He had wanted to introduce Lin to his horse, maybe get him to feed Starlight. Julie caught his expression and squeezed his arm, a comforting smile on her lips.

“That's why your father is still working, angel. He wants to bring Starlight home as fast as possible.” She gave his arm another squeeze and a kiss to his cheek. “Why don't you go get him, huh? I'll put your bags into your room.”

“You don't have to, Ma, we'll take care of it,” he said with a sigh before he reached out for Lin. “Are you coming, lovebird?” Jon asked as he slung his duffel over his shoulder and Lin nodded, picking up his backpack and followed Jon around the corner.

“You'll come to my rescue if I get lost, won't you?” Lin questioned, slightly intimidated by the size of the farmhouse.

Jon chuckled, squeezing Lin's hand in his.

“Of course,” he paused. “If you yell loud enough that is,” he teased and Lin stuck his tongue out at him.

He nudged Lin into a room on the left and Jon offered him a shy smile.

“Welcome to Ronks, Pennsylvania,” he said quietly, pulling Lin into a soft kiss as his fingers found the back of Lin’s neck on their own accord.

“Seems lovely. Especially that kiss, just now? Loving it. If I come here more often, do I get more of those?” Lin asked playfully.

“I guess you’re lucky the kisses come with the guy and not the location,” Jon teased and Lin huffed a laugh, his smile wide and toothy before he pulled away to look Jon in the eyes.

“I have so many questions. You have horses?! You told me about the goats, but don't you think _horses_ was worth mentioning too?!”

Jon chuckled. “Actually, I’m pretty sure I remember mentioning them earlier. And I only have one myself. Starlight is mine and Ma's while Buccaneer is Pa's and David's. Pa is actually a horse trainer so, you know. We needed some on the farm,” he shrugged. “Come on. Wanna go see them?”

Lin nodded energetically and Jon laughed as they walked out of his room. When they reached the open space at the end of the hallway that made up the kitchen, living room and foyer, Jon put his hands on top of Lin’s shoulders and gently pushed him to the left.

“There’s a backdoor in the kitchen,” he explained. “I'm going to go get our jackets, you go ahead and I’ll meet you in there,” Jon finished and Lin went willingly, curiously taking in his surroundings.

Jon was gone for less than two minutes when he came back with their jackets and started rummaging through various kitchen drawers.

“Hey Ma?” Jon called out. “Where's the flashlight?”

“Since when do you need one to navigate the grounds?” Julie called back and he chuckled.

“I don't. But Lin does!”

“Oh, dear! Drawer by the door!”

Jon pulled open said drawer and smiled triumphantly as he pulled it out, handing it over to Lin.

“Wouldn't want you to trip and hurt yourself,” he said with a smile.

“Take some apples!” Julie's voice came once more and Jon walked over to the fruit bowl tucked away in the corner, picking up two of them.

“Do we still have some sugar cubes?” Jon asked when he couldn't find the jar anywhere.

“Your father,” she stressed the word disapprovingly as she came back in the kitchen to check on dinner, “took the jar to the stables when the Robertsons brought Tally this morning. He's probably been feeding her some all day. Hopefully he didn't give too many to Buck, but I have little hope.”

“Oh God. He's going to be insufferable, isn't he?”

“Most likely,” she nodded, opening the oven door. “You two go. Dinner's almost ready. Ten minutes max. I want all three of you in this kitchen and cleaned up by then, are we clear?”

Jon threw a mock salute at his mother.

“Yes ma'am,” he said simultaneously with Lin’s “Crystal!” and she rolled her eyes at them, laughing as she practically pushed them outside.

Lin struggled somewhat to turn on the flashlight − he’d argue that Jon’s laugh was dreamily distracting − as Jon went down the porch stairs and strode purposefully forward, an easy air of confidence surrounding him. Lin was fairly certain he looked as clumsy as a newborn puppy in comparison. Certainly felt so.

“Hey! Wait up!” Lin called, running up to him all the while praying that he wasn’t going to sprain one of his ankles.

Lin pointed the beam in different directions, made a _Lion King_ reference that pretty much flew right above Jon’s head, to Lin’s utter disappointment. He definitely was going to have to refresh Jon’s memory, because this was truly appalling.

They made it to the stable without either one of them hurting themselves and Jon slid open the large wooden door, heavily pushing on it. It wasn’t as dimly lit as Lin had expected it to be and the roaring fire made it a lot cozier, too. They were met by a couple of neighs as well as the characteristic noise made by iron being hammered. Jon smiled, walking deeper into the stable until he found his father, Lin trailing behind him.

“Hey, dad!” Jon happily greeted, making the older man jump in surprise.

“Jesus Christ, Jonathan!” Jim admonished, a hand clasped over his heart as his son started to laugh again.

Jon knew he was probably more giggly than Lin had ever seen him − or at least remembered seeing him − but he couldn’t help it. Despite the heavy subject they had talked about in the car, which he had completely pushed out of his mind, he was happy. Happy to be home for the second time in just as many weeks, happy to be with his parents again, happy to be surrounded by the quiet and darkness of Ronks instead of the noise and brightness of Manhattan but, above all, just happy he was here to introduce Lin to his parents, that someone wanted to meet them under no false pretenses, that whatever existed between him and Lin was clearly labeled as _a relationship_.

“Did you really have to scare me like that?” Jim asked and then grumbled, “Nearly gave me a heart attack, I swear.”

“What would life be without a little fun? Little scare here and there?” Jon teased back, the easy banter flowing between him and his dad.

Jim looked at him, clearly unimpressed and unconvinced by his son’s argument, let a beat pass and then turned to Lin.

“You must be Mr. Miranda-Groff. Nice to meet you, son,” he stuck his right hand between his left arm and his side, pulling off his heavy duty glove and keeping it there before he offered his hand for Lin to shake. “Sorry it’s a bit sweaty,” he apologized, “these things are hell even in thirty-degree weather. The name’s Jim, by the way.”

Lin laughed but shook his hand anyway, delighted by Jim’s use of their hyphenated names.

“Nice to meet you too, sir!” Lin replied enthusiastically before to turn to his husband. “Jon! Finally! Someone got it right on the first try!” Lin said excitedly in a loud whisper, making Jon chuckle.

“Well, it's not everyday you get a phone call from a stranger who introduces themselves with your own name, so that did leave an impression on me.”

“I’ll take it, sir,” he grinned.

“Please, Lin – no need to call me sir. If you're planning on staying in my son’s life,” he continued, “let’s agree to drop the formalities. Just call me Jim, will you?”

“I’m sure I can do that. I’m really glad to be here. You have a beautiful house, you don't see those in the city. I’m not sure how to feel about how dark and quiet everything is at night, but I’m sure I can get used to it with your son by my side,” he said, nudging Jon with his shoulder, his tongue poking from behind his teeth.

“Ma said dinner’s almost ready, she wants us in and cleaned up in the next… Five minutes, I’m guessing?” Jon informed his dad, and Jim looked at his unfinished horseshoe and sighed.

As Jim dipped the hot piece of iron into his barrel of water, Jon pulled Lin aside, leading him to the only two occupied pens of the entire stable. One of them held a dark bay horse with a black mane, tail and socks while the other contained a palomino horse.

“We usually have more than that around, but we always have a lull this time of year. The ones that Dad trained during the summer are out and the ones he’s going to train during the winter are not here yet, hence why Buck,” Jon pointed the dark bay, “and Tally,” he pointed to the palomino, “are the only ones here. You take Tally, she’s sweeter than Buck is, she’s less likely to bite you.”

Lin turned to stare at him with wide eyes and Jon quickly pecked his lips in reassurance. Jon clucked to get Tally’s attention and stretched his hand over the pen’s door, offering it to her with his palm up. He let her smell his hand and chuckled when she started nuzzling it. He spoke to her in the most comforting voice he could muster before he gestured for Lin to approach, which he did cautiously. Lin imitated Jon, stretched his hand out and let Tally smell him, holding in his breath until she neighed. He breathed out a sigh of relief and Jon winked at him before he showed him how to present the apple to the horse without risking getting his fingers bitten and, once Jon was certain Lin was going to be fine, he moved to the neighbouring pen to feed Buck.

“It tickles,” Lin said in wonder as Tally took the apple from him.

“Yeah, it kinda does,” Jon replied with a soft smile.

Jon kept petting Buck’s muzzle as he rested his forehead against the horse’s, whispering words that Lin didn’t quite catch. When Jon pulled away, he gave Lin a small tired smile before he wiped his hands on his jeans.

“Come on. Let’s go back inside before Ma gets in here.”

They ended up being in the stable for longer than the ten minutes allotted by Julie, but in all honesty, she had expected it, and therefore given them a shorter amount of time than really needed. She gave them a stern look when they sat down at the table without washing up, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot in silence until a light bulb went on in Jon’s head and he got back up and pulled Lin along to the sink. Conversation flew easily between the four of them over dinner, Jon updating Jim and Julie on his appointment, Lin filling in the many blanks he had. Lin complemented Julie’s food and her home over and over again until she was blushing a deep shade of red. Lin was delighted to find out that Jon had taken after Julie, as far as blushing was concerned. After dinner, while Lin and Jim talked as Jon and Julie cleaned, Jon’s mother playfully winked at him and he rolled his eyes in answer, making her laugh quietly.

“Can we go watch the stars now?” Lin asked with a bright smile.

“Actually, I was thinking I’d send you off to shower while I set us up. What do you think, lovebird?”

Lin frowned and, dramatic as ever, sniffed at his shoulder.

“Why? Do you think I smell bad?”

Jon huffed a laugh and shook his head.

“If I recall,” Julie chimed in, “you said you wanted to wash the stench of New Jersey as soon as you could.”

Lin’s face lit up in remembrance.

“Oh! Are you sure you don’t need my help?” Lin asked and Jon smiled back to him.

“Go. I’ll be fine. Bathroom’s right across the hall from my room,” Jon replied.

Jim huffed in slight annoyance, having wanted to go take a shower for a while as well. Julie shot him a look before she turned her attention back to Lin.

“Come on, sweetheart. I’ll get you some fresh towels,” she offered, guiding Lin back into the hallway as her husband stood, grunting.

While Lin showered, Jon pulled both of the old camping foam mattresses from the storage space underneath the stairs. He’d spent so many summer nights sleeping in a tent in the backyard on these mattresses that he was surprised they didn’t have a permanent dip in the shape of his body. He brought them outside, pulled down the back of his dad’s truck’s bed and hauled them up, unfolding them and squeezing them in the tight space. Jon took a step back to assess his handiwork. The sides were curling up a bit around the wheels, but he wasn’t really expecting them to be laying anywhere near the walls of the truck and he knew the mattresses were thick enough that they wouldn’t feel the ridges of the truck bed. He’d done it often enough in his teenage years. Jon went back inside to get some pillows and blankets, keeping an ear out for the sounds of the running shower.

He rummaged through his closet to find clothes warm enough for nighttime in late November in Pennsylvania, pulling out two wool sweaters he hadn't bothered packing for New York – one for himself and one for Lin. He was in the kitchen making them a thermos of hot chocolate when Lin walked in in a pair of sweatpants and a crewneck − which definitely weren't going to be enough to fight the chill − searching for him.

“Hm, that won't do, lovebird. There’s a sweater for you on my bed, it’ll be much better.”

Lin raised an eyebrow in defiance and lifted his arms up, to which Jon huffed a laugh, shaking his head. Jon crossed the few steps separating them, letting his fingers dance across the hem of Lin’s shirt.

“Is that too much effort for you?” Jon teased. “Can't even take your own shirt off?”

“I mean, why would I do that when I’ve got somebody so eager to help me out?”

“Oh, is that all I’m good for, now? Taking your clothes off for you?”

“I don't remember you complaining about that, though. You're generally pretty quick to make sure I’m undressed, pretty boy.”

“And you’re usually pretty good at making that task impossibly more complicated than it needs to be,” Jon shot back.

Lin kissed him, to prove Jon’s point. Why not.

“I’m not undressing you in my parents’ kitchen, lovebird. Go.” Lin pouted as he made his way backwards away from Jon, eliciting a laugh out of him. “When did you get so dependent?” Jon shot at Lin, right before he disappeared down the hallway.

With the thermos in hand and both of them in warm clothes a few minutes later, Jon grabbed the flashlight again (Lin was definitely clumsy enough to break something between the front porch and the truck) and led Lin down the hall to get their jackets.

“Oh, there's wool socks in that basket,” Jon specified while shrugging on his winter coat, tapping said basket with the side of his foot. “Grab a couple pairs for us, will you?”

Lin complied, somewhat confused. He shot Jon a questioning look.

“I mean, unless you want to keep your shoes on once we get on the mattress, but I doubt that. And I wouldn’t want you to lose your toes due to the cold. Dancing’s pretty hard if you can't use your feet.”

Lin shrugged, grabbed two pairs of the warmest-looking socks once he'd gotten his jacket on too, and they headed out.

Jon led Lin to the truck and swiftly climbed in the bed before he helped Lin do the same. They settled comfortably under the blankets, shoes off and extra socks on, and he pulled Lin to him. The night sky really was breathtaking.

“Yeah, Manhattan really would be a lot nicer if we had this,” Lin contemplated out loud.

Jon had missed the stars, the wide expanse of the galaxy before them, but watching Lin take it all in mattered to him a lot more than the sky did. He laid down on his side, head propped up with one arm, and watched the wonder and peacefulness paint itself on Lin’s face. Making sure not to disrupt the little bubble of warmth that they were creating under the covers, he used the hand that wasn't supporting him to slide under Lin’s shirts and rest over his stomach. Lin looked over at Jon when his fingers started drawing patterns against his soft skin. Jon kissed him, slowly, putting all his heart into it. He wanted, for a moment, to pretend not to have a worry in the world. Wanted to pretend that they could stay right there and never part again. He brought a leg up to entwine it with Lin's and pulled himself closer until he was all but laying down on him. The hand on Lin's stomach moved to his hip and Jon squeezed as best he could.

“As much as I may love this view,” he vaguely waved at Jon’s face, “I thought we came out here to look at this one?” Lin asked, pointing to the sky without taking his eyes away from Jon.

“Well, then, I guess I better not get in your way,” Jon replied, taking his hand out of Lin’s jacket to graze at his jaw. Jon got his mouth closer to Lin’s ear. “I’m guessing, if I just do this…” he breathed out before he nuzzled in the crook of Lin’s neck, taking the slightest amount of skin between his teeth, gently worrying it, “you should still be able to watch the sky.”

Lin hummed and bared his throat for Jon, his fingers curling into Jon’s hair to keep him close. “What about you, though?”

“I’ve seen it every night for the past twenty years of my life, I’m good. Don’t worry about me.”

Jon kept at it for a few more minutes, thoroughly enjoying the warmth emanating from Lin’s body in the cold winter air, the soft noises coming from deep inside his chest. He cast his body across Lin’s as much as humanly possible. Lin sighed and moved his hand until he was cradling Jon’s jaw, gently pulling him up.

“Come here,” Lin whispered. “I want to kiss you.”

“What about the stars?” Jon teased with a smile, complying nonetheless.

“I’ll get back to them later. They can’t get mad at me if I ignore them for a while, unlike my husband,” he breathed out just before Jon’s lips met his.

Lin wouldn't admit it out loud, but discovering this new side of Jon, exuding confidence and in control, was definitely affecting him more than he would have thought. His hands roamed Jon’s body, pulling him closer, searching for any bit of skin he could find.

“Angel?” Julie’s voice came from the porch to them, interrupting.

Jon scrambled to push himself away from Lin, leaning over the side of the truck's bed as much as he could. He didn’t seem to realize that, with the way the truck was parked, Julie couldn’t see them at the back from the porch. Lin had to bite on his fist to hold his laughter at the realization.

“Yeah?” Jon asked, clearing his throat.

“We're going to bed. I'll leave the hallway light on for you two?”

“Sounds good, Ma,” he spoke loud enough for her to hear across their driveway.

Meanwhile, Lin was doing his best to stifle his laughter, clearly having way too much of a good time watching Jon embarrass himself.

“You boys be quiet on your way in, please.”

“We will, Ma. Good night,” Jon wished.

“Good night, Julie!” Lin yelled – he still had enough brains to be polite, after all.

“Good night, boys. Don't stay out too late. And don’t make your husband freeze to death, angel!” Julie concluded.

She walked back inside and Jon waited a couple of minutes after he heard the door clicking closed, breathing hard, before he groaned and buried his face in the crook of Lin's neck, blushing. Lin finally let himself laugh without restriction, wrapping his arms around Jon's back and holding him tightly.

“Well, that was entertaining,” Lin said once he caught his breath.

“No, that was embarrassing. God,” he chuckled, hiding his face against Lin's chest.

“Do you know how adorable you get when you're flustered? Do you?” Lin pondered out loud, his hands cradling Jon’s head.

“Shut up, Lin.”

“Make me,” Lin replied with a grin, making Jon roll his eyes.

“Gladly, even though you aren’t actually funny,” Jon shot back with a smirk. “Besides, I’m supposed to keep you warm, aren’t I? Moms always know what’s up.”

“Yeah, wouldn't wanna disobey your mom,” Lin said, entirely making fun of Jon for bringing Julie into this.

“Is this what our marriage is going to be like from now on? You killing any chance of a boner I might have by bringing my mother into whatever is going on?” Jon asked, to which Lin couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re the one who brought her up first, pretty boy. Don’t blame this one on me.”

“Go back to watching the stars, Lin,” Jon said as he moved to lay back next to Lin, grinning when Lin huffed in pure offense.

“I thought you were going to shut me up and make out with me?”

“You don’t get kisses anymore,” Jon decided.

“That is the epitome of unfair,” Lin declared. “What if I get cold, now? Who’s gonna save my nose from getting frostbitten?” Lin stayed quiet for a second, for the dramatic effect. “Is that what you want?” He gasped, bringing a hand to his chest. “I can't believe this was your plan all along. To bring me out here and make me lose all my limbs.”

He wouldn't say it, but he really was trying to get Jon to shut him up again, so he just threw whatever went through his mind at him.

“I don't think the tip of your nose really counts as an actual limb, lovebird.”

“Maybe, but I definitely need my nose to sing! How do you expect me to serenade you if I can’t breathe because _someone_ let my nose fall off!”

“So far, the only one who’s serenaded the other is me, so maybe you should get on with that,” Jon argued.

“Well if you don't kiss me now, my nose is gonna fall off and you'll never hear me sing. So, your choice, really.” Lin tried to reason.

“You're cute when you beg for what you want.”

“I'm not begging! We're discussing! It's a logical argument. I'm too proud to beg.”

“Well, no kisses without begging. So… your choice, actually,” Jon countered.

“Out of all the things I could beg for, you want me to waste my pride on begging for kisses? Remember, I’m a Slytherin. All I have is my pride, my ambition and my resourcefulness, don’t take them away from me.”

“Then I’m sure you care enough about your husband that part of your ambition is to make him happy. I don't see much resourcefulness here, lovebird. Just arrogance.”

Lin squinted and huffed. Jon wanted to see resourcefulness? Fine, he’d get some. Jon had said he wouldn’t kiss Lin without him begging, but he didn’t say anything about _Lin_ kissing him. With a smirk, Lin threw a leg over Jon’s, moving his body along until he was half laying on top of his husband. He wiggled his eyebrows twice as he cradled Jon’s jaw.

“Never challenge a Slytherin, pretty boy,” he breathed against Jon’s lips before he kissed him, trapping him in place with both his mouth and his body.

Lin took his time exploring Jon’s mouth, his tongue slowly dancing with Jon’s until he arched his body up into Lin’s, moaning quietly. He’d say it time and time again, until he was blue in the face if he had to, but he _loved_ kissing Jon. It was so different from anything he’d experienced before, but it was so close to perfection that Lin wasn’t sure he even cared about comparing.

“Tell me, is making out in the bed of a pickup truck typical of Ronks?” Lin asked teasingly after he pulled away enough to be able to talk.

“It’s either that or watch the Amish kids almost poison themselves with moonshine. This,” Jon waved around them, “is more my speed, I’ll admit. David was the one who liked witnessing the trainwrecks.” Jon internally groaned at himself the second the words passed his lips. “Probably brings them more alcohol nowadays, if I have to be honest,” he finished.

Not only had he managed to mention his mother during their makeout session, but now he was throwing David into the mix too. He silently thanked the stars that they were already married because honestly, had they not been, he wouldn’t have blamed Lin for running for the hills.

“Huh?” Lin asked in confusion and Jon shrugged.

“Some of these kids are just desperate to experience the English world. Or forget about the Amish rules for a night, most likely. Let’s just say it doesn’t always end well.”

“This place is weird,” Lin commented, making Jon chuckle.

“You don’t even know the half of it, lovebird,” he huffed another laugh. “But enough about it. You should forget about Lancaster County and go back to kissing me. That’d be a much better use of our time.”

“Ah ah! Who’s begging who now, huh?” Lin asked proudly.

“Me. I’m begging you. But see, contrary to someone we know, I never claimed I was too proud to do it. I admit to what I want, so come back here,” Jon said as he moved his hand to the back of Lin’s neck, pulling him down to him, arching again, and closing the distance between their mouths.

“Okay, but, I’m curious now,” Lin said after they broke apart and Jon groaned again. “I want to know about the other times you’ve done this,” he asked, waving around to emphasis what he meant by _this_.

“Oh my God, Lin. No, we are not going there. It doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that I’m here right now with you and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Besides, I meant that stargazing was more my speed than partying.”

Lin didn’t seem convinced by his answer.

“I saw your graduation picture in the living room − very sweet of you guys to have put up my picture next to yours by the way, we’ll get back to that − you won’t have me believe you didn’t have boys lining up to kiss you in high school.”

Jon rolled his eyes, making Lin laugh.

“Again. This is Ronks. Not New York,” Jon said, had a wittier comeback on the tip of his tongue, was ready to tell him that he’d had both girls and boys lined up. It felt too raw, too cocky for him to say anything of the like.

It hit him then how gorgeous Lin – _his_ Lin – truly was. He sucked a breath in as he watched Lin laugh above him, millions of stars twinkling around his head like the most ethereal of halos. If Lin wanted to remember him carefree and proclaiming his love for Lin should the worst happen, Jon wanted to remember him like this. He wanted that exact picture frame to haunt his dreams and his every waking hour. He prayed he would never suffer from any form of memory loss, but if he ever did, forgetting about this, about this moment, about this Lin would wreck him beyond repair.

“What?” Lin asked softly when he realized Jon was staring at him.

“I love you,” Jon blurted out, making Lin smile brightly, outshining the stars above.

“I love you, too,” Lin replied quietly, a secret − a promise − for the two of them.

Jon wrapped his arms around Lin’s warm body and made a promise to himself not to let go. And if the force of his need scared him, then he'd just pretend it was really just for the warmth.

“Promise you’ll stay?” Jon asked quietly.

“Forever and ever, pretty boy,” Lin swore, sealing his promise with a kiss.

Lin moved off of Jon to lay next to him instead, his head finding its designated spot on Jon’s chest. As much as he wanted to stare at Jon for as long as he could, he could easily get that in Manhattan. The night sky lit up by stars? Not as easy. They drank some of the hot chocolate Jon had prepared, Lin unashamedly granting him the title of Master Chocolatier, which really only meant he was always going to be in charge of making some whenever Lin would crave it.

Jon’s fingers were gently carding through Lin’s hair, massaging his scalp. It was, if Lin was honest, the easiest way for Jon to shut his brain off. And he needed that so much, sometimes just not to have to think, so much, all the time. Jon really was something else, for Lin to be able to experience the calm in his head the way he did since they'd met. Jon could just shut him down with a snap of his fingers. Which still surprised him, considering the hurricane the past two weeks had been.

Jon felt Lin shiver against him a while later but he knew that Lin’s stubbornness − and pride − would stop him from admitting he was cold. And at this point, no amount of hot chocolate, blankets, and warm snuggles were going to warm him back up.

“Come on, lovebird. Let’s get you inside,” Jon murmured in Lin’s ear.

“I don’t wanna,” Lin argued childishly. As if to prove Jon’s point, a light snow started falling.

“It wasn’t a question. You’re completely frozen. Come on,” Jon prompted again, nudging him up.

“What about all of this?” Lin asked talking about their setup.

“Let’s just drop everything in my room, I’ll take care of it in the morning.” Jon found the flashlight and turned it on, pointing the beam toward the rear of the truck. “You okay to slide off?”

“I’m not _that_ frozen,” Lin protested.

Jon chuckled but kept to himself that he had been more concerned about Lin’s clumsiness and wanted to be sure he wouldn’t hurt himself.

“Can you throw everything in the middle of the blanket? I'll take care of the mattresses, just make a duffel out of the quilt,” Jon instructed. “And please don't trip,” he added.

They worked quietly around the truck, keeping Julie’s request in mind. Lin took the flashlight with him, using it once he’d walked past the comforting light of the foyer. He surprisingly managed not to crash into a single wall, door frame, bench, or table that could have possibly tripped him, to Jon’s relief. Lin was quick to shed himself of his shoes and jacket, throwing himself on Jon’s mattress once he'd removed the rest of his clothes and thrown everything to the floor for them to clean up later. Jon grimaced for a second at the mess in the corner of his room, despising it no matter how short-lived it was going to be. He shook his head at Lin’s behaviour.

By the time he'd taken off his own outerwear and clothes, both now down to the thin layer of their underwear, Lin was laying on his back in the centre of Jon’s bed and making grabbing hand gestures for Jon to join him, clenching and unclenching his fingers in Jon’s direction. Jon rolled his eyes at the pout etched on Lin's lips.

“That desperate to have me within reach again?”

“Yes,” Lin answered, not bothering with false pretenses.

“And where did your pride go?” Jon asked as he settled atop Lin, straddling his hips.

“It shut up when it agreed with needing you nearby. Especially since I’m still cold and it’s your job to keep me warm. Your mom said so.”

“Can we stop bringing my mom into this?”

“Would you rather we brought mine?”

“How about no parents? At all. It doesn’t make for very sexy pillow talk.”

“Pillow talk. Are we pillow-talking?” Lin asked with a bright smile.

“Only if you promise to stop talking about every member of our families.”

Lin brought a hand to his mouth and pretended to zip it shut. Jon placed both of his hands on Lin’s chest.

“Yeah, you know what? You're kinda cute,” he said with a smirk.

Lin tried to reply, his words coming out as nothing more but mumbles since he couldn’t open his mouth to actually articulate. Jon rolled his eyes, could understand why playful annoyance was the first thing that came to Lin’s mind when he thought of a successful marriage.

“I take that back. You're insufferable,” Jon let out as he played along, opening the imaginary zipper over Lin’s mouth.

“If I’m insufferable as you say, why did you pull open the zipper? I’m even worse when I can talk.”

“So I could do this,” Jon said plainly before he leaned forward to kiss Lin.

Jon let his tongue run along the seam of Lin’s lips, smiling as much as he could when Lin parted them. He let their tongues get acquainted with each other before he pulled away, letting them both breathe.

“See? A zipper would have been in my way. Doesn't mean I have to let you talk, though,” he let out and reattached his mouth to Lin’s before he could utter anything.

Lin took advantage of Jon being busy kissing him to flip them over, his hand finding its way to one of Jon’s shins, pulling it higher against his hip. Jon broke the kiss, gasping as if the air had gotten knocked out of his lungs.

“Fuck,” Jon breathed, Lin’s name forming itself on his tongue when his husband interrupted him.

“Shh, shh. Don’t talk. Let me take care of you,” he said quietly, a finger barring Jon's lips.

Lin dove back onto his mouth, his fingers trailing up until he found the bottom hem of Jon’s boxers. Jon gasped into the kiss, arching up into Lin’s touch despite his cold fingers on Jon’s heated skin. Lin would admit to resenting the fact that they had to breathe, that he had to pull away from his husband. Breathing seemed like such a trivial thing. Especially considering how tempting Jon’s lips looked when they were all swollen and red.

Lin groaned and dipped forward, pressing kisses against the lines of Jon’s neck. He let Jon’s heartbeat pulse against his lips for a moment, taking it in, memorizing it. He knew he couldn’t take it for granted, but damn it all to hell if he didn’t want to do so, if he didn’t want to pretend that they could be immortal. Lin’s nose found the spot just below Jon’s ear, where his neck and his jaw met, and he inhaled deeply. He took a minute there to commit everything to his memory again, his hand still kneading at Jon’s thigh, slipping under the fabric of his boxers.

“Do you have any idea how much I love you?” Lin asked, his fingers clinging to Jon’s skin. “You drive me so crazy, pretty boy. In the best way possible. I don’t know how you do it, but you somehow manage to make it quiet up in here,” he admitted, but didn’t move to tap on his temple like he knew he should’ve for the sole reason that one of his hands was busy supporting his weight while the other was still on Jon’s skin and he refused to break contact.

He got lost in Jon’s eyes, wide, gorgeous, innocent blue eyes, until Jon cleared his throat and brought Lin back down to earth.

“Everything alright?” Jon asked, not sure whether he should be worried.

“I’m having a bit of a moment,” Lin admitted. “I mean, how? Like, how are we here? Have you stopped to think of our lives the past, what, two weeks? I've had a more intense two weeks than I have in the entirety of my near twenty-seven years on this planet since I've met you. And I say that as someone who’s about to get his first musical produced. Who’s in the process of getting it produced. That’s kind of wild as it is. But this feels… it's something else, isn't it? But I’m not about to let this go, I mean, everything in my life’s been surreal lately so this is just another one of those things,” he paused. Jon ran a hand up the arm that was still supporting Lin’s weight. “And I mean,” Lin added with a disbelieving chuckle, “have you looked at yourself lately? Because there's obviously a part of me that's surprised at the fact that I’ve gotten married in Vegas, but mostly, I can't believe I’ve gotten to marry… this… embodiment of Apollo,” Lin added, pulling his hand out of Jon’s boxers to broadly gesture at Jon’s body.

“Lin… just shut up,” Jon replied. He was having a grand time watching Lin struggle to put his feelings into words, so he went the cheeky route to try and diffuse the thick emotion that was slowly but surely enveloping them.

“No! Don't make me shut up. I mean it. I feel so inferior all the time when I’m next to you. You have the voice of an angel, and sorry to bring your mom into this again but she's right, you are an angel, and you have enough muscles to, to, to probably defeat an entire army barehanded, which makes no sense to me,” Lin said as he sat back for the sole pleasure of being able to touch both of Jon’s upper arms. “And I kind of really want to know whether you're strong enough to pick me up. Which I feel like you would be. Can we test that out one day?” Lin asked with a bright smile.

Jon felt himself blush and he had nowhere to hide, not with the way Lin was towering over him, so he just covered his face in his hands as equal parts embarrassment and gratitude bubbled up inside him.

“Come on! If I say please? If I give you kisses? What about if I just tell you how much I love your arms everyday?”

Jon parted his fingers to glare at him. “You're a mess,” he finally replied. “If you want, lovebird.”

Lin beamed at that and bent down to press a kiss to Jon’s face. One by one, he took hold of Jon’s wrists to relocate Jon’s hands to his hips, then slid his grip back up without breaking the kiss. He felt Jon’s biceps work when Jon roamed up and down his ribcage. He squeezed and Lin rolled his hips against Jon’s slowly, taking a moment to pant against Jon’s mouth.

“Lin, wait, wait. I'm not doing this with my _parents_ above our heads, in my childhood bed!” Jon half-heartedly protested.

Lin pulled away from the patch of skin he’d just started working on softening somewhere between Jon's neck and his shoulder.

“So... How did you have sex with your ex-boyfriends if you didn't want to do anything here and they never took you to their place?” Lin asked, and well, that was a fair query.

Jon blushed furiously and looked to the side, somewhat scandalized at the implications.

“Our parents were never _home_! I said I never met their parents, not that I never went to their place.”

“So,” Lin rationalized, “it's not really the fact that it's your childhood room that's bothering you, it's the fact that we're not alone.” Lin stopped to ponder for a minute and Jon could almost see the gears working in his brain. “Hayloft?” Lin suggested with, if Jon was asked, a mildly terrifying grin for how much Lin actually seemed like he was considering the idea.

“Lin! What the hell are you thinking. No way. Not in November! We'll freeze over! Weren’t you cold enough while we were stargazing? How cold do you think you’re gonna get once you’re _naked_? And do you really want to subject our son to that kind of debauchery? You're a terrible parent.”

“Debauchery, huh?” Lin countered, not even defending the fact that he would probably be a terrible parent if he had a kid right then.

“Yes, Lin. I’m not subjecting the goats to that,” Jon concluded firmly.

Lin pouted, puppy-eyed Jon. “How is that fair? You can't get me down to my underwear and straddle me on your childhood bed and kiss me like your life depends on it and then deny me!” He squealed, indignant.

“Yes, I can. I’m not having you fuck me here tonight, lovebird, as much as I’d love that.”

Jon's wording got Lin hesitating between two replies; either act all innocent and insist that no one had to get fucked to have a good time, or tease Jon on the fact that the one thing he had in mind enough to say it out loud was Lin fucking him.

“Who said anything about fucking?” Lin settled for something in the middle. “Do you not think I can satisfy you otherwise, pretty boy?” He added, trailing a finger down Jon's stomach. “I don't remember you complaining when you came down my throat this morning,” he teased. Jon groaned.

“Okay, okay, okay. I’m not doing anything,” Jon said, a finger under Lin's chin to get their eyes to meet. “But I guess if you convince me that we need another shower because we need to warm you up… it's not really my fault if I can't control your mouth.”

Lin considered for a moment. “What… what do I get out of it?” He asked, not entirely convinced that this was a fair plan.

“I don't know, the knowledge that you've been good for your husband? You’re the one who said something about satisfying me, after all.”

Part of Lin definitely, _definitely_ wanted to take Jon on his veiled offer, while the rational part of him was screaming that it was only going to make it worse for him. “But I don't get to get off.” Finality.

Jon shook his head. “Your call, lovebird. You can suck me off in the shower, or we can keep cuddling here and keep hands and mouths away from where they shouldn't roam. I guess it depends how cold you can pretend like you still are,” Jon added with a smile that wasn't reassuring in the slightest.

“I've already showered twice today.”

“Is that a no?”

It was an impossible choice. He was going to lose either way and there was nothing he could do about that. He wanted to be good for Jon, he did, but it was only going to make his own need worse. But it'd give him something to focus on. And Jon's fingers wouldn't stop trailing on his hip and on his jaw where he was holding Lin.

“Fuck it. Let’s go.”

Lin scrambled up with a last chaste kiss to Jon's mouth and grabbed towels that were hung behind the door of Jon's bedroom. Jon was laughing softly at the fact that despite how frustrated Lin would get by the end of the evening, he still looked (and acted) like a child who got the gift that crowned their Christmas list. They crossed the hall quietly, not disturbing the peaceful air of the house. As soon as the bathroom door was closed behind them, however, Lin backed Jon up against the door and reattached his lips to the tendons on Jon's neck. He roamed across Jon's chest briefly before he let his hands drift to Jon's arms and grasped at his muscles, not unlike he'd just done while he was straddling Jon.

Jon eventually pushed him off of him, mumbling something about them needing to get the shower running. He hung the towels behind himself. Lin unashamedly ogled Jon's body as he bent down for the faucets and cheekily leaned back against the door, playful smile on his lips.

“You really should wipe that smile off your face, lovebird,” Jon warned when he moved back up to look at him.

“Oh yeah, and why is that?” Lin shot back without missing a beat, with a roll of his shoulders to push himself off the door, crowding Jon's space

“Because you'll want me to be nice to you when you're on your knees,” Jon replied nonchalantly as he hooked his fingers in Lin's waistband and tugged his boxers down. “Well, hello there. I hope you're not expecting me to do anything with this,” Jon teased with a drag of his finger down the side of Lin's cock. Which was, by all regards, definitely interested in the proceedings. “You're having that much fun? You have no reason to, lovebird,” he added with a chuckle.

Lin blushed and looked down, half-heartedly shushing Jon. Jon immediately brought a hand back up to drop a quick kiss on Lin's lips before he tugged his underwear down and ushered him under the steady stream.

“Down you go,” Jon instructed, a hand on Lin's shoulder. Pressing down, making his meaning impossible to misinterpret.

Lin kneeled, his back to the shower head as he waited for Jon to strip and join him. He looked up when Jon’s hand cupped his face and tilted so that he could catch Lin's eyes.

“You better make it worth getting out of bed, lovebird,” Jon almost threatened.

He wasn't hard by any means, not half as much as Lin was, but that didn't stop him from taking himself in hand and stroking slowly once or twice before he tugged Lin's jaw closer to himself, never once breaking eye contact. Lin instinctively brought a hand up to replace Jon's, parted his lips and let his tongue dart out to run it just under the head of Jon's cock. Jon moved his hand to cradle Lin's head, so Lin brought his free hand up to clutch at Jon's thigh, palm at his ass. Jon let him do all the work, just intently watching him – and Lin wouldn't pretend he didn't love giving a show. You didn't have the kind of job they did if you didn't enjoy making a performance of everything you possibly could.

Lin didn't stop the ministrations of his tongue and the pumping of his hand until Jon was fully engorged.

“Come on, gorgeous. You know what to do, I know you do,” Jon encouraged him.

He tapped lightly under his jaw with the hand that was still cupping his face, encouraging him to open wider. Maybe Lin wasn't the best Jon had had, he didn't have the most finesse and didn't take him down as deep as some others would, he had a genuine eagerness to put his need aside and focus on the task at hand, he had no other goal than to be as good as he could be and then some, for Jon, and that was more than Jon could as for. He felt Jon's hand petting softly before he tangled his fingers in the wet strands of hair at the crown of Lin's head. Lin hollowed his cheeks, tried his best to breathe through his nose and keep his throat relaxed. He closed his eyes and focused entirely on pleasuring Jon, grazing soft fingers down the cleft of Jon's ass, pumping steadily at the base of Jon's cock where he couldn't reach with his mouth just yet. He felt Jon let some of his restraint down and allow himself to roll his hips into Lin's awaiting mouth.

The grip that Jon had on Lin's head wasn't the tightest, but it was infinitely present, unmistakably _there_. Lin could move, but he couldn't move _away_ , and that thought alone sent a thread of arousal straight down to his abdomen. He moaned around the weight of Jon's erection on his tongue and heard him take a sharp intake of air from where he towered above him, under the droplets.

“Shh,” he whispered softly with his exhale. “Don't stop, Lin, you feel so good,” he murmured. “Keep going, lovebird.”

Lin redoubled his efforts, never relenting the flutters of his tongue on Jon's underside. Jon started moving in earnest, losing his rhythm just enough for Lin to notice. He looked up to find Jon blissed out, eyes closed and muscles clenching with self-restraint on his chest and in his arms. He brought his hand back from between Jon's cheeks to play between his legs, leaving fiery trails on the outside of his thighs. A stifled whistling sound came through Jon's lips and Lin sped up the stroking movements of his hand around Jon. He rolled and fondled Jon's balls until his thrusts became a tad erratic and he broke into quiet words.

“Don't stop, Lin, I’m getting closer, you're good at this, come on, make me come,” Jon strung along in one whispered breath, one demand after the other. Lin bobbed his head to push himself, he wanted to; Jon alone was always hot, but Jon using him for his pleasure and not caring about Lin's own was definitely becoming a thing for him, it was maybe dangerous how much Lin enjoyed it.

When Lin heard Jon's breath hitch and saw his brows furrow above his closed eyes and flushed cheeks, he bobbed a few more times, eager to force himself just on this side out of his comfort zone. When Jon's thighs started trembling, he sped up the strokes of his hand. And when Jon's grip tightened into his hair and on his jaw, he dove down, rested his hand at the very base of Jon's cock and pressed his lips against his fingers to let Jon's orgasm pulse directly down his throat. He had to close his eyes too, then; couldn't possibly keep them open with the water bouncing off of Jon's skin and the tears threatening to spill from the physical exertion. He didn't notice that he'd stopped breathing until after Jon stopped throbbing in his mouth, not until he tugged him off from him.

Jon was panting, and Lin realized he was, too, once he started breathing again. He swallowed hard a few times, reopened his eyes when Jon's hand stroked his cheek. Looked up to see Jon's parted lips and his darkened cheeks. Met his eyes, blown-up pupils making his irises look navy, and it was the most beautiful illusion.

Jon let go of Lin's face after the soft drag of his thumb across his swollen bottom lip. He took a step back away from the water and let out a soft hiss when his shoulders hit the cold tile behind him. Lin sat back on his heels. Jon crossed his arms, eyed Lin up and down with interest, and the intensity of Lin's need came rushing back to him. He was dazed and content for having been of use to Jon, he really was, but now that Jon's attention was all back on him, he didn't know how to handle it. He felt his cock twitch, involuntarily, he knew he wasn't getting anything, he'd been told. He felt the blush creep up his cheeks when Jon raised a single eyebrow as if to say “go on”, his teasing mood immediately back. Lin gulped. He didn't know how to read Jon anymore, too many mixed signals.

“I said _I_ wasn't going to do anything… so what are you waiting for before you take care of that for me, huh?” Jon asked, voice low in volume and in pitch.

“I thought, you said… I thought I wasn't allowed to come,” Lin half-whispered, hopeful.

“Yeah, yeah. I wasn't going to let you, but I’ve changed my mind. You did good, you probably deserve it, don't you think?” Lin nodded desperately. “Then I suggest you comply and get yourself off before I change my mind… or before the water runs cold.”

This confident and almost arrogant − just shy of being cocky − side of Jon was definitely something that Lin was thoroughly enjoying, so without wasting any more precious seconds, he took himself in hand and started jerking himself off eagerly. He arched his back at the welcomed friction, closed his eyes and bared his neck, his jaw dropping open at how good this felt and how aroused he was from making Jon come in his mouth.

Jon asked him to keep his eyes open − he complied, as best he could.

Lin came with Jon’s gaze holding his own, every ounce of his attention focused on him, completely enveloping him. He was still breathing hard when Jon pulled him up and helped support his weight by putting his arms around Lin’s waist, holding him close as they lazily kissed for a few minutes.

They washed each other off and Jon made sure they weren’t leaving any traces of Lin jerking himself off in his parents’ shower before they finally headed back to Jon’s bedroom, spent as they were. They crawled under the covers and curled up into each other’s embrace, exchanging secrets until sleep claimed them both.

Saturday morning came around, inevitable. By the time Lin stumbled down in the kitchen, bleary eyed, slightly confused and still sleepy, the Groffs had already eaten breakfast and were going on with their day. Jim was out in the stables to work on Tally’s new horseshoes while Jon and Julie were working around the kitchen, preparing as much as they could of the evening’s dinner in advance. Lin went straight to his husband, burying his face between Jon’s shoulder blades and shoving his hands in the pockets of Jon’s hoodie.

“Coffee. Need coffee,” he mumbled.

Jon and Julie chuckled.

“Good morning to you too, my sleepy lovebird,” he greeted with a grin, pressing back into Lin’s embrace.

“I don’t know what you’re so excited about, Lin,” Julie chimed in. “Coffee is forbidden in this household between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Hot chocolate only.”

Jon stifled a laugh and felt Lin turn his head, he could only assume hewas glaring at his mother as much as he could.

“Nuh uh. Impossible. This kitchen smells of coffee, Julie. Don’t lie to me. Where’s the coffee, pretty boy?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, lovebird. All I’ve had all morning was tea with my breakfast. She’s very serious about her no coffee rule,” Jon replied, playing along with his mother and winking at her.

Lin buried his face back in Jon’s hoodie and inhaled deeply.

“Nope. You smell of coffee. I know coffee. I can find a coffee stand in Manhattan by smell alone. You won’t fool me.”

“That’d be more impressive if there wasn’t a Starbucks on every street corner,” Jon shot back without missing a beat.

“Why are you two ganging up on me? It's way too early for this. I didn't sign up for this!”

“It's ten in the morning, Lin. It's not too early.”

“I haven't had coffee! Everything before coffee is early, I don't care about numbers. We already established that I’m awful at math.”

Through his refusal to pretend he was remotely awake, Lin completely missed out on the fact that Julie had poured some freshly ground coffee in the press and poured the boiled water in. Used to the noises of an automatic coffee maker, he'd been completely oblivious to the process until Jon cleared his throat, pulling Lin out of the sleepy daze he found himself in, still hiding his face against Jon’s back.

“I've got a gift for you, sleepyhead,” Jon announced.

“Unless it's coffee or you on satin sheets, I’m not interested,” Lin retorted without missing a beat.

Jon choked on his surprise, coughing as he blushed deep red. Maybe he should have warned his parents that his husband had a tendency to speak without thinking it through first, unlike him.

“Well then, you better open your eyes,” Jon said, gently disentangling himself from Lin’s body to offer him the steaming mug.

“Why? You're naked?” Lin asked and Jon rolled his eyes as Julie chuckled.

“What did I say about our sex life in front of my parents, lovebird?”

“Don’t remember,” Lin said truthfully as he opened his eyes wide, looked at the mug, up at Jon’s face, to the side to Julie who was cheekily smiling at him with just a hint of playfulness twinkling in her eye. He saw the french press on the counter.

“Sorry to break it to you, pretty boy,” he uttered when he trained his eyes back on Jon’s, “but your mother is the real angel here. We're gonna have to figure out this nickname situation. Later though. This coffee is calling my name. I like its voice almost better than yours, which is saying something because hmm, do you sound amazing. I haven’t found a single noise coming out of you that I don’t love. Except maybe that joyless laugh of yours. That one I don’t like.”

Lin closed his eyes and took in the familiar aroma of the mug he was now holding, letting out a happy sigh as he exhaled, apparently completely oblivious to the fact that he was entirely embarrassing the living hell out of Jon in front of his mother.

“Sugar?”

“Already in,” Jon replied, glancing at his mother.

Lin hummed and turned around, leaning back against Jon’s chest, freeing one of his hands to find one of Jon’s, gently tugging on it until he could wrap Jon’s arm around his waist. Getting the message, Jon rested the small of his back against the kitchen counter and wrapped his other arm around Lin, pulling him in. Lin then took a sip of his coffee and sighed happily again.

“Now _that’s_ what I call a good morning,” Lin said.

Jon pressed a light peck of his lips to the nape of Lin's neck.

“It’s not very nice of you to kidnap my assistant,” Julie teased. “Especially not if you're expecting food from us for dinner.”

“I’ll give him back,” Lin promised as he clutched his mug to his chest, his eyes closed. Jon looked up to his mother and shook his head.

“No you won’t. Don’t lie to my mom. That’s not nice either, and she deserves for you to be nice to her, silly bird.”

“Hey Jules, do we still…” Jim unknowingly interrupted, walking through the door at that moment.

Lin automatically turned towards the noise of the door opening, unexpectedly blinding himself from the reflection of the winter sun on the white snow. He scrunched his face, squinted, and brought his hand up to cover his eyes.

“Oh. Good morning, Lin,” Jim greeted. “Finally up, are you?”

“Why is it so bright? I think I’ve just lost my sight permanently, pretty boy, what's happening?” Lin said, entirely too dramatic for the situation and casually disregarding Jim’s comment.

“Oh my god, you are such a city kid. Have you never seen the sun being reflected on the snow before?” Jon asked him in disbelief.

“Well, the snow doesn’t stick to the ground in New York, you know that, and I try to spend as much of my winters in Vega Alta, so to answer the question… no.”

Julie chuckled before she looked back to her husband.

“What was it you needed, darling?”

Jim looked at her completely stunned for a second before he remembered why he’d came back in. “Oh! Right. Sugar cubes?”

Jon’s eyes widened as Julie’s look turned into a glare.

“Jim Groff! That jar was full when…”

Jon moved quickly, taking Lin’s hand in his as Julie kept ranting and pulled him along until they were back in his room.

“Trust me, you don't want to see my mom in a fury,” he explained. “She's quite something when she's yelling at my dad.” Jon closed the door behind them and took a deep breath before he smiled. “How about you get dressed and we can go see the goats, huh?”

Lin smiled brightly and downed the rest of his cup of coffee before he moved around the room, pulling out his jeans and a t-shirt.

“Do I get to wear that wool sweater again? That was warm. I want more of it.”

“Whatever you want, Lin,” Jon said with a smile and Lin grinned before he went back to Jon, sticking his hands in the back pockets of Jon’s jeans and pulling him closer.

“So if I wanted a kiss?”

“I don’t really have a choice on the matter, do I?”

“No, not really. I’m awake and I can think now, and I’ve decided with a clear mind that kissing you is what I want to be doing. So yeah. You can't blame me when you're standing there all inviting and you've just made me coffee.”

“You get one kiss, then I’m taking you to meet your son. I suggest you make it worth it,” Jon challenged.

Lin didn't need to hear the request twice. He pushed himself off his heels to be levelled with Jon, used the placement of his hands in Jon’s back pockets to pull their bodies flush together and brushed his nose against Jon's lightly just before he dipped in and pressed his lips against Jon's. As much as he resented the idea, Lin pulled a hand out of Jon’s pocket, tangling his fingers into Jon’s curls instead, locking him in place. He pulled his head down with him when his feet fell flat on the floor, unwilling to break the kiss for the time being.

Jon wrapped his arms around Lin’s waist and parted his lips when Lin let his tongue dart out. Say what you will… he really didn't have enough self-control to refuse that to Lin. Fact of which Lin was wholly aware. He chased Jon's tongue slowly until Jon pulled away, a soft blush creeping up on his cheeks.

“Okay. I know what you're trying to do, and it's not gonna work. Sweater on, grab your jacket, we're going outside to meet the babies,” Jon commanded.

As soon as Lin was ready, Jon opened his bedroom door and poked his head through, listening for any sound coming from the kitchen. When he realized Julie was still giving an earful to Jim, he turned around, pressed his pointer finger against his lips and took Lin’s hand back into his, guiding him to the foyer. They walked out and rounded the corner, going down the set of stairs at the back of the house. As they made their way to the barn farther down the land, Lin turned around, taking in the entire house from the outside.

“You really weren’t kidding, the house _is_ better in the daylight,” Lin said and Jon chuckled.

“The front is nicer. It’s the porch,” he commented simply with a shrug. “Come on, this way. We keep them in the barn when it gets too cold. Are you excited? Hopefully you won't seize up and fall like them.”

“I have no idea what to expect. But I'm already honoured that I’ll finally be meeting our son. I’m a proud dad already. He's gonna do great things in life, I know it. Mark my words, pretty boy.”

Jon laughed. “Don’t go around and pressure him already. We don’t want him to stress about going to an Ivy League before he’s even hit middle school,” he said as he pushed open the door, letting Lin walk in first.

“Fine. But he _should_ aim for Harvard. I can see it already. _Lin-Manuel Miranda Goat, the first goat to ever make it to Harvard_. Okay, that title is a work in progress.”

Jon shook his head, still laughing as they walked deeper into the barn, the older goats looking up at them before going back to whatever it was that they were doing. Some of the younger ones were jumping from haystack to haystack, bleating happily.

Lin stopped dead in his tracks, tilted his head to the side before he looked back at Jon behind him. “Are those… Pajamas? They have _pajamas_? Why do they have clothes? Oh my god. How do you even put on pajamas on a baby goat? Which one is ours?”

Jon didn’t bother commenting on the matter, shrugging it off. They’d been putting pajamas on the baby goats during their first winter for as long as he could remember. As far as he knew, his parents had been doing it ever since they started their farm, decades ago. Jon searched through the small crowd of goats until he spotted LMMGoat on a haystack.

“There,” he said pointing. “The black and white one wearing the space-themed onesie.”

Lin squealed loudly and rushed forward, making Jon audibly wince and close his eyes. He heard a sharp gasp and he risked opening an eye, finding Lin standing with at least five goats on the floor surrounding him, frozen in place. Including LMMGoat who, thankfully, hadn’t fallen off the haystack he was on.

“Oh my god. Jon! Did I break them?”

Jon brought a hand to his forehead in disbelief, chuckling lightly, before he carefully waded his way through the fallen goats.

“I _warned_ you about this,” he reprimanded. He made Lin turn around and pointed to LMMGoat. “You even scared our son. How dare you, Lin, seriously?”

“Oh no! Oh no, no, no, no, no, no!” Lin exclaimed before he rushed forward again, picking up and cradling the baby goat in his arms. “I’m so sorry, baby boy. Daddy didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, gently petting the animal on the head. “Am I even holding him right?” Lin asked Jon in a stage whisper, “Oh god, I’m a terrible dad,” he added for himself.

Jon picked up another baby, holding it to his chest much like Lin was, silently showing him that yes, Lin was doing just fine.

“Wait. I’m not going to get charged by an angry goat, am I?” Lin asked as he nervously glanced around.

“Nah, Sutton is…” Jon frowned as he realized that she wasn’t anywhere to be seen. “Somewhere. Huh.”

The baby Jon was holding wiggled and bleated, very clearly trying to escape and Jon put it down, watching it run away with a fond smile.

“You stay here. I’ll go get her. Try not to terrify any more of our goats,” he teased.

Lin blushed, which made Jon think he was genuinely embarrassed, and well, that was just adorable. When Jon came back with a displeased Sutton under his arm, Lin was sitting on a haystack, cooing over LMMGoat, making up raps over the rocketships and planets on the onesie. Jon smiled.

Sutton stopped complaining once she saw her kid in Lin's arms. Jon sat down and settled Sutton on his lap, petting her and murmuring comforting things to her. She stared at Lin for a while before she bleated at him and Jon chuckled.

“I know, I know. He’s such a city boy. But it’s okay. LMMGoat is in good hands, he’ll be fine, don’t worry,” Jon said teasingly before he winked at Lin.

Lin squinted at him to which Jon only responded by sticking his tongue out, making Lin shake his head. LMMGoat chose that moment to bleat and Lin turned his attention back to him, smirking as the perfect idea popped into his mind.

“What’s that, baby boy? You want daddy to tell dada that you want a baby brother or a baby sister? Well… It’s a bit early for that, I think,” Lin glanced at Sutton, subtly trying to gauge Jon’s reaction at the same time. “But, if we want that to happen, then there’s a certain activity that daddy and dada really need to practice, ‘cause we've actually only tried once,” he finished cheekily, making Jon scoff.

“Dada might just have to hold off if daddy doesn’t stop traumatizing our son.”

Lin gasped dramatically and Jon rolled his eyes before Sutton bleated and he let her go, LMMGoat following soon after. Lin moved to sit closer to his husband, resting his head on his shoulder. Jon automatically wrapped an arm around him.

“I love him,” Lin said quietly.

Jon pressed a kiss to the top of his head, smiling.

“I knew you would,” he whispered back.

Lin took a few minutes to watch the goat and then, once he could say his morning coffee had truly kicked in, he jumped to his feet and starting bouncing around the barn with the baby goats, jumping on top of haystacks with them and bleating along. Despite being as mindful as he could, Lin did make a couple of babies topple over, especially in the beginning. Every time that happened, he’d stop, sit down, pet the goat and freestyle comfortingly about its onesie until it was back on its feet. Then, and only then, would Lin get back up and join back in on the fun.

Jon, for his part, sat back and watched Lin for a while, a beaming smile on his lips. Being a farmer and having animals was such a mundane thing in Lancaster County that Jon couldn’t recall ever seeing any of his past flames acting the way Lin was. He was truly bringing a breath of fresh air to his parents’ farm − maybe even to the whole county − and it was a welcome change. Lin’s energy was contagious and Jon eventually got roped into jumping around as well, bleating and laughing like the mad men they probably were.

As he walked past the barn with Tally in tow, Jim heard the cacophony of bleats and laughter going on in the building. His curiosity got the better of him and he poked his head inside. He quickly backed away, trying to reign in his laughter, desperate to sneak back out before the couple inside realized he was ever there in the first place. Julie needed to see this. Preferably with their camera in hand. Jim found his wife in the kitchen still and he hadn’t even finished his sentence yet that she was already running upstairs to get their digital camera. They were going to have so much fun embarrassing them with these!

If Lin and Jon hadn’t noticed Jim stopping by, Julie’s presence went just as unnoticed, despite her quiet giggles at the antics they had found themselves in. She stepped aside, buried the camera deep in the pocket of the fleece jacket she had put on and tried to look as unaware of what was happening inside as she could when she went in to tell them that lunch was ready.

Once they regained their breaths, they followed Julie back into the house, where they were greeted with the aroma from what she had started preparing for dinner. Lunch appeared to be something simple, tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, but the simmering dishes for their meal later in the evening was already promising.

They all chatted easily over lunch, Jim talking about his work with Tally and how he was glad that she was back home, glad to have Starlight back. Lin couldn’t shut up about the goats, which was nothing short of endearing to the in-laws.

“So, how you do decide who gets what onesie? Do they have their own, or they kind of just get whatever’s available? Because I’ve already written a few songs about my kid and his space onesie and I don’t think my heart could handle him in another pattern. Or if someone else was to wear the rocketships. How does it work? I need answers. How do you decide, Julie?”

“I don’t think we’d ever put much thought into it, Lin. We give them the onesies that fit them for their first winter in the barn.” The face of pure indignation that Julie got from her son-in-law at that spurred her on. “Would you like to pick which newborn gets which onesie next year, sweetheart?” She asked with a smile.

Lin squinted at her for a second before he beamed.

“Yes! Jon, mi amor, can we keep the spaceship onesie once our son has overgrown it? Please?” Lin asked, dragging the plea.

“Will you sew a new one together to replace it? What if we have too many baby goats and that’s the only onesie left and it’s all the way up in New York?” Jon replied.

“Okay, you’re being mean,” Lin said before he turned back to Julie. “How about this: I’ll buy you guys new onesies? Oh! Jon! We should get one with the ‘I Heart NY’ logo for LMMGoat! He’d be so cute! Green, yes?”

“Ma, please? Help? I don’t know what to do with him anymore,” Jon complained.

“Huh. That didn’t take long. Even Lac took longer than that before he said something of the like. Damn it, pretty boy, I was rooting for you,” Lin interjected with a pout.

“Be patient, my angel. Marriage requires work from both sides of the relationship. Give yourself some time,” Julie advised with a chuckle. “Why don’t you two finish your lunch and go get Melany?”

“Starlight needs some grooming, too, if you want to do it,” Jim pointed out and Jon’s face lit up.

“Come on, lovebird! Hurry up!” Jon said as he shot up from his chair, bringing his plate to the sink.

He pecked his mother on the cheek and thanked her for the food before he practically ran out of the kitchen, tugging a bewildered Lin behind him. In all honesty, Jon would have gladly skipped over picking up Melany in order to go straight to grooming his horse, but it wasn’t very fair − nor very grateful − of him to expect his parents to do everything that needed to be done for that night’s dinner.

Before long, they were in the car and on their way to Melany’s house, Jon almost buzzing with excitement as Lin looked upon him fondly. Until they drove past a classic Amish buggy, that was. Lin stared in shock out of his window, twisting his spine to keep looking at it for as long as he could.

“Is that… what I think it was? People actually still use those?” Lin asked in disbelief. “Why didn’t you tell me we were stepping back in time?”

Jon grinned.

“Because watching your face was worth it. But, if you must know, Melany’s house doesn’t have electricity,” he said, shrugging it off.

“What?!” Lin exclaimed.

Jon took a turn and drove deeper into the farmlands of Pennsylvania as he tried to come up with an explanation as to why her house was off the grid. Then again, they weren’t the only ones in the county.

“I told you most of this county is either Amish or Mennonite, lovebird. It’s just their way of doing things. Both of our neighbours are Amish and neither house has electricity either. That’s just how it is, Lin.”

Jon parked the car in front of a modest looking house and smiled softly.

“I miss driving everyone home,” he admitted. “Did I ever tell you that? I used to drive the ladies working for my parents back to their place, after the day was over. Made their lives easier, and it gave me time to get to know them outside of working on the farm. Ready, lovebird? You’re about to meet one of my favourite people on this planet.”

Lin took a deep breath and brought a hand up to cup Jon’s cheek, silently asking him for a kiss before they headed out. “Ready.”

Jon leant towards him and pressed his lips softly against Lin for just a moment before he pulled back and exited the car. He waited until Lin met up with him before he made his way to the front door and knocked, shuffling from foot to foot.

A swarm of butterflies seemed to take flight in Jon’s stomach, a rush of energy − he wasn’t really nervous about Melany’s reaction, they’d gone over this and she was always going to be supportive, but... It was still his first time having her meet any of his boyfriends, so it was kind of a big deal. Her opinion of Lin mattered to Jon just as much as his very own mother did. He didn’t want it to go wrong. Which, of course, meant it did go wrong right from the start as Peter, Melany’s husband, was the one to answer the door.

Jon automatically straightened his spine, his smile becoming more forced than had it been anyone else in the household. He quickly removed his hand from the small of Lin’s back, considered for half a second offering it to shake Peter’s but changed his mind at the last possible moment. It wasn’t exactly that they were hostile toward one another, as far as he knew Melany had held her ground in front of her husband where Jon was concerned, but Jon was all too aware that Peter wasn’t his biggest fan, to say the least.

“Jonathan,” he greeted formally. Not hostile, per se, but not friendly either.

“Hi, Mr. Rupp,” Jon replied.

Before he could say anything more, Peter turned around and walked back inside his house, calling his wife’s name.

“Well. That was…” Lin started and Jon sighed.

“Yeah, I know,” Jon finished. “That gives you an idea of how it’s been the past couple years. That’s how most people around interact with me. Melany, though, she’s the complete opposite, and I love her to death.”

As he said so, Melany walked up to the front door, a bright and large smile on her lips. Lin wasn’t sure what he had expected, but he knew she fit any mental image he had conjured. She was smaller than the both of them, plump, and radiated warmth. If Lin had a say in it, he wouldn’t have thought twice about casting her as Mrs. Weasley.

“Hallo, Jonathan!” Melany said as she wrapped him in a tight hug that Jon reciprocated without thinking twice about it, chuckling. “Such a joy to see you. You really should come and see us more often, Himmels,” she said as she pulled away from him and brought a hand up to his face to pinch softly at his cheek. “If anything, we need to fatten you up. Are you not eating well over in the city? Am I going to have to come over and cook for you? Huh?” She looked over at Lin. “Why aren’t you feeding him? That’s what you’re supposed to do.”

Lin quickly raised his hands in redemption and took half a step back. “I’ve been trying! But I’m a terrible cook. I promise I’ll try harder. Is that okay? Would that be okay? I’m doing my best,” Lin tried to excuse.

Melany smiled before she opened her arms to hug Lin too.

“You must be the infamous Lin I’ve heard so much about. Come here,” she said as she pulled him into her embrace. “You trying your best is the most I can ask of you. That’s more than enough for me… as long as you promise not to keep him away from us for too long at a time, that is.”

“I can promise that too. And I love it here, so it’s in my best interest to keep coming as often as our schedules will allow it.” Lin stopped for a second before he added, “And, I mean, have you seen the stars around here? You don’t get that in New York.”

Melany ushered them inside as Jon laughed at Lin’s comment.

“You do realize she’s lived here her entire life, right?” Jon said, laughter still ringing in his words.

“You two stay here while I gather some things. Did your mother say if she needed me to bring anything, Himmels?”

“Not that I recall, no. Do you want us to call her?”

“No, no, not necessary, I’ll just bring a few things in case she needs them.”

Melany disappeared in the kitchen, letting Jon and Lin sit down on a bench not far from the entranceway.

“ _Himmels_?” Lin asked. “She’s called you that a few times, what is it?”

“Oh, it’s a nickname she gave me when I was a baby. I don’t really remember where it came from, specifically, but it’s German for _heavens_.”

“Well you know. She’s not wrong. You _are_ heavenly.” Lin leaned over to whisper in Jon’s ear. “Your voice, your moans, your face when you come, even how you taste… That’s all straight out of heaven.”

Jon blushed a furious shade of red − and thank heavens Lin didn’t say that out loud or he didn’t think Peter would have ever let them in his house again had he overheard. He glared at him, really the only thing he could do in that situation. Soon enough, as if on cue to save him from absolute embarrassment, Melany came back in the hall with several bags, filled to the brim with ingredients they _might_ need for dinner.

“Oh my god, let us help you, please,” Lin offered, immediately getting up and taking bags from her arms.

Jon followed suit, taking some bags that he would defend weighted more than he did. As they walked to the car to load them in the trunk, Lin leaned in to whisper in Jon’s ear.

“Do we really need all of this?”

“Not in the slightest,” Jon replied truthfully. “I expect we’ll be leaving with a bunch of food. Let’s not mention it’s tech week at the O’Neill. I’ll be able to feed the whole cast and crew for three days before I even know what hit me if we do.”

Lin snickered and smirked at Jon who looked at him sternly and pointed an accusatory finger at him.

“Don’t you even dare, Miranda-Groff. You do that, and I’ll unleash them on _you_. And as far as I know, your entire cast and crew is comprised of four people, yourself included. Don’t start something you can’t finish, Lin-Manuel.”

“ _Lin-Manuel_ , huh? Am I in trouble, pretty boy?” Lin teased.

“Depends on what you’ve done this time around,” Melany interrupted, making Jon laugh as Lin looked up to her, pure offense painted on his face at her implications. Not that she was wrong.

“What have you told them about me? I thought we were supposed to be a team!” Lin complained, playfully shoving at Jon’s shoulder.

“He’s said nothing but praises,” Melany defended. “But you strike me as a prankster. Am I wrong?”

“Well, yeah, you’re not _wrong_ per se. It’s all out of love though!” Lin explained enthusiastically. He could see why Jon loved her so. “Here,” he opened the passenger’s door for her, “I’ll sit in the back,” he finished as Jon smiled at him over the roof of the car.

“I see you’ve picked up quite the gentleman, Jonathan,” she said lightly as they all settled in for the ride.

“Yeah, I think I did a pretty good job, huh? What do you think?” Jon asked, throwing a glance back at Lin. “Are you a gentleman, Lin?”

“You know I am! Are you even doubting that, pretty boy?”

“Well, you _did_ fail to pick me up from the train station last time I came back from here,” Jon retorted.

“I was waiting at your place with a homecooked dinner! I didn’t know I was supposed to pick you up! This isn’t fair. I’m a fine gentleman, thank you very much.”

Melany laughed. “He’s got a good argument here, Himmels.”

Jon rolled his eyes in mock annoyance as he started the car. He drove them back home, the conversation flowing easily between all three of them. It didn’t come as a surprise that Lin chose to sit in the middle of the back seat, leaning forward to really feel like he was part of the conversation. Lacamoire hadn’t been all that wrong when he’d called Lin an attention whore, Jon thought with a fond smile.

Once back at the house, they helped bring all the bags in and let Melany and Julie figure out what was left to do for dinner. Jon brought Lin back to the stables so they could brush and groom Starlight − Lin hadn’t met him yet, after all, and Jon was proud and excited to have him meet the horse that he’d trained during his teenage years alongside his parents. Jon let an eager Lin brush the tangles out of Starlight’s mane as he took care of his tail. But, for most of it, Lin sat back and enjoyed watching Jon work, chatting with him.

By the time they were done, the sun had started to set on the horizon and, after a quick stop in the barn per Lin’s request, they went back inside to change into appropriate Thanksgiving attire. Jon had to talk Lin out of letting their son attend aforementioned gathering. Had it been anyone else, Jon would have been surprised that the only argument he could formulate that worked was the one where he said they couldn’t possibly let their son wear his pajama to such an important dinner. To which, obviously, Lin replied that he'd work on getting him formal clothing in time for Christmas, which had for effect Jon smacking him on the shoulder and wondering why he’d even open his mouth and given that idea to Lin to begin with.

As they went back to the kitchen, Julie and Melany were busying themselves setting the covers and making sure everything was ready. Jon immediately went up to help his mother but was quickly ushered away. Jon tried to protest, but Melany protested more, and he didn't want to upset her, so he complied. He sat down next to Lin, who was looking over Jim’s shoulders at the newspaper he was holding, opened on the unfinished crosswords puzzle.

“Uh. Thirty-one, down. Shakespeare play that begins with _’Now is the Winter of our discontent’_. Anyone knows?”

Jon expectantly looked at Lin, chuckling as his face lit up. “Oh! I know this one! Richard the Third!”

Jim looked down at his paper and frowned. “Sorry, son, but you can't put numbers in the grid. And there aren’t enough cases to write it in words…”

Lin laughed.

“Try using the Roman numerals. Richard and three times the letter I,” he replied cheekily.

“Damn,” Jim breathed out to Lin's utmost delight.

They were interrupted by Melany snatching the newspaper out from Jim’s hands and muttering something about farmers and their lack of manners, which naturally turned into playful banter between the two. They’d been friends for too long to pass up a chance at teasing each other. Service plate after service plate was brought to the table and Jon honestly didn’t know who, between the Groff household and Mrs. Miranda, had prepared more food. Considering the huge difference in the number of guests around both tables, that was quite the accomplishment from Julie and Melany. The boys were definitely both going back home with enough food to feed a few armies. Each. Well, at least Melany couldn't worry that he might die of starvation. And he didn't have to worry about having to produce food out of thin air during tech week, of all weeks. But he was going to have to worry about working out at some point. Everybody won. Kind of.

Appetizers, entrées, and dessert came and went; filling up their stomachs until everyone around the table felt like they were about to burst at the seams. Jon vaguely wondered if this was going to be a recurring theme with every family dinner they attended, whether it was on Lin’s side or his.

Inevitably, the conversation eventually drifted from the farm life − subject that Lin seemed to be fascinated with, to his credit − to the city life and their respective musicals. Jon had filled them in on his a lot during the previous weekend, but since he didn’t have much information about Lin’s at the time, he happily joined in on pestering him about _In the Heights_ , beaming as he did so.

As Julie got up to start cleaning the table, Jon insisted she stayed seated and he worked around the kitchen and dining room, laughing as his family kept asking more questions. He heard Lin promise he’d save them all seats for the opening night and the gesture, albeit simple, warmed Jon’s heart. He had just sat back down with them when Melany seemed to have finally managed to convince Lin to perform a few lines of the show for them. Lin didn’t say it, but the only reason why he held out and made Melany and the Groffs work for it was because he wanted Jon to be around when he did.

“So, naturally, it starts with me introducing myself, because why would it not, right? _I am Usnavi and you prob’ly never heard my name, Reports of my fame are greatly exaggerated, Exacerbated by the fact that my syntax, Is highly complicated ‘cuz I emigrated, From the single greatest little place in the Caribbean: Dominican Republic! I love it! But beyond that, ever since my folks passed on, I haven’t gone back – hot damn, I gotta get on that_ ,” Lin rapped, going for some of the first lines of the show, if only to help give his small audience some sort of setting.

Jim, Julie and Melany all clapped, the two women a bit more excitedly, as Jon leaned forward to press a kiss to Lin’s cheek, letting the pride he felt for his husband overflow him. Julie suggested they relocated to the living room to be more comfortable and they all stood, pushing their chairs back into place.

“You know,” Lin said as an idea formed itself in his mind, “this is not fair. Your show opens in two weeks and I haven’t heard a single bar of it yet when I _just_ performed a whole verse for you! I’m your husband, the least you could do is return the favour, no?” Lin asked, trying to look as angelic as he could.

Jon hummed as if he was deep in thoughts for a moment, long enough for everyone else to start encouraging him to do so, before he started singing.

“ _Yeah, you're fucked all right and all for spite, You can kiss your sorry ass goodbye, Totally fucked, will they mess you up?, Well, you know they're gonna try_ ,” he ignored the surprised looks on his parents' and Melany's faces, focusing on Lin's excitement instead.

“Jonathan is swearing in the show!” Lin gasped in a terrible imitation of a stage-whisper to Julie.

“I can see that,” she replied, trying to send a mock glare to her son, but really, the effect was ruined by how proud she actually was of him.

“It's not the only thing I do in the show,” Jon replied cheekily and Lin whipped around to look at him.

“Do tell!” Lin tried to pry, while everyone took a seat in the living room.

“Nope,” Jon replied easily as Lin sat on the farthest end of the couch and Jon stretched out on the rest of it, his head resting on his husband's lap.

“Wait, what's the rating of the show?” Lin asked, trying to get more information.

Jon frowned in concentration. He recalled their director letting them know, but he couldn't remember for the life of him what it was exactly.

“I'd say ‘Not suitable for young audiences’?” Jon suggested, his tongue poking from behind his teeth.

Lin gasped in shock and went back to stage-whispering.

“Is there... You know,” he glanced around the room, taking in how everyone was stifling their laughter from their antics, “ _sex_ in your musical?”

“I'm not telling,” Jon sing-songed.

He'd leave to Lin the pleasure of finding out on opening night. He could think of a scene or two that were going to absolutely delight him. Especially since they involved him exposing his ass to most of the audience. Hopefully Lin wasn’t the jealous type.

“And here I was feeling bad because I'm making out with Vanessa in my own show!”

“Well... Don't!” Jon shot back, grinning.

“Where's my farmboy from Pennsylvania?” Lin lamented with an exaggerated pout.

“We forgot him at the Bellagio. He's currently ranking up one hell of a bill for us to pay, by the way,” Jon shot back, making Lin laugh. “He's this close,” Jon held his forefinger and thumb with very little space between the two, “to star in his very own burlesque show.”

“Ooooh! Now _that's_ a show I've got to see! Has he gotten the big fluffy feather fans, the sequins and the pearls? Because that's hot,” Lin replied with a smirk but, before Jon could reply, a newcomer's voice interrupted them.

“We really don't want to hear about your kinks, dude,” David said, making Jon try to scramble from his position on the couch but Lin pressed down on his shoulders, shaking his head infinitesimally.

His presence came as a surprise to everyone − no one had heard him walk inside the house and into the living room. Lin scowled as he took in David, Jon's features hardening all the same.

“What a pleasant surprise, brother. I thought you couldn't come down for Thanksgiving,” David said, faking sweetness.

“I couldn't. I was with my husband's family,” Jon replied matter of factly. “Or did you already forget that today was Saturday and Thanksgiving was on _Thursday_?”

Julie jumped to her feet as the tension between her two sons grew thicker and stronger and she smiled, trying to diffuse it as she went to her eldest.

“David, darling, what are you doing here? We weren’t expecting you.”

She opened her mouth to offer him some pie or coffee, only for her to realize that that would meant he’d stay longer and she wasn’t sure that was such a good idea. If Lin’s and Jon’s expressions were any indications, they wanted this impromptu visit to be over as quickly as possible.

“I was on my way to Noah’s place when I saw a car I didn’t know in the driveway. Just wanted to check in with you and made sure you guys were okay,” he explained casually and Jon was sure anyone could smell the bullshit from miles around. “That must be you,” David addressed Lin, pointing to the mantelpiece with his chin.

Lin didn’t even bother looking behind him.

“That is me. Don’t I just look dashing?” Lin asked cheekily, making David grimace.

“Ask him,” he said, vaguely pointing to his brother, “he’s the fag around here, not me.”

Lin and Jim both clenched their fists as Julie, Jon and Melany stared at David in shock. Jon felt an all too familiar numbness closing in on his brain and on his emotions as taunts from Grandpa Witmer came back to him. He had a hard time swallowing as everything bubbled up inside him, unable to take his eyes off of David’s. Jon found one of Lin’s fists and he covered it with his hand, clinging to it until Lin finally opened it, threading their fingers together.

“Okay!” Julie interrupted. “Darling, why don’t you get back on the road? Noah’s going to be worried.”

David snorted and knocked Jon’s feet off the couch, dropping gracelessly in the newly vacant spot with a smirk. Jon narrowed his eyes and sat up, making a point of moving closer to Lin. Holding onto him as he was had a way of anchoring Jon to the moment, of keeping his emotions to the surface. He could take people insulting him, he could handle that. But he wouldn’t tolerate _anyone_ disrespecting his Lin, his lovebird.

“As if he cared. No, no, mom. You have such nice guests and I wasn’t even invited for dinner, I’m a bit insulted, I’ll admit.”

“David…” Jim warned, his gaze hardening.

“What, dad? Wouldn’t it have been nice? A good homemade dinner. None of that crap so-called New Yorkers call food.”

“As if you have any idea what real New York food tastes like,” Lin scoffed. “What have you tried? The pretzels from street vendors? Besides, New York’s a hub. We’ve got a little bit of everything.”

“That’s for sure. Y’all have all sorts of… _things_ there,” David retorted, looking pointedly at his brother as he said the word ‘things’.

“ _I_ asked her not to invite you,” Jon chimed in, glaring. “Lin and I already knew we were coming here when we had dinner last weekend. And frankly, after how that one went down, I was really looking forward to not seeing you this week.”

“Colour me shocked, Perdita. Did I hurt your precious little feelings? Did you cry to your precious little immigrant that your big brother had been a meanie to you?” David asked condescendingly, using a childish phrasing on purpose.

Jon blanched as he felt the anger radiating from Lin, his entire body as tense as a bow. He knew right away that David had hit a sensible point with Lin and from the smirk that was lazily stretching itself on David’s lips, his brother knew it too. If Jon wanted to stop what was going on between Lin and David, he knew that right then was the one and only opportunity he’d get.

“You know what? I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer, David. I’ve already told you he was as American as we are, so knock it off,” he turned to look at his mother, trying to soften his expression as much as he could. “We’re just going to go to my room. Let us know when he’s gone? I really don’t feel like dealing with him anymore,” he requested, making his way around the furniture and avoiding to walk by his brother.

“Of course, angel,” Julie replied sadly.

As she did so, David jumped up and swiftly moved to block the path leading to Jon’s room.

“Aaw,” David whined, bringing a hand to his chest and clutching at his jacket over his heart. “You don’t wanna deal with me anymore, Perdita? I’m wounded, brother, I really am. All I wanted was to get to know my brother-in-law.”

Jon rolled his eyes.

“No you didn’t. All you wanted was to have as many opportunities as you could to throw jabs at us and now I’m taking that away from you and you’re pissed. For once in your life, be the bigger man and let us through,” Jon deadpanned as he tried to push his way through.

Unfortunately for him, David looked over his shoulder and saw that Lin was clenching his jaw, very clearly refraining to say anything that was on his mind. David smirked at the easy opening he had right there.

“I know you guys aren't exactly the most strongly willed ‘guys’ around, but this? This is sad, dude,” he said, mocking Lin. “He's already got you all wrapped around his pinky and on a leash like a good little lap dog? And you're just letting him?” David tsked, stepping aside to finally let his brother through, if only to see how Lin was going to react.

Jon felt Lin clutch to his hand almost to the point where it was painful and he spun on his heels, gently cradling Lin’s face and making his husband look at him.

“Lin, please. Let it go. His opinion doesn’t matter. Come on, let’s go,” Jon pleaded, sensing how close to exploding Lin really was.

Lin took a few deep breaths before he nodded, letting Jon pull him past his older brother. It would have been fine, they could have retreated and hid away in Jon’s room had David not make a whipping sound at them. Lin saw red, knew the sound was directed at him and he spun around, letting go of Jon’s hand. Before anyone could grasp what was about to happen, Lin had shoved David against the wall, his forearm awfully close to obstructing David’s airways. A picture frame that was hung there fell to the floor, Melany and Julie’s shocked gasps mixing themselves with the glass shattering.

“Lin!” Jon exclaimed, reacting quickly and trying to pry his husband away from his brother.

Jim was the next one to shot up to his feet, making his way to the two men glaring at each other. Both Jon and Jim knew that it wouldn’t take much more for Lin and David to start throwing punches at each other, especially after everything David had thrown at Lin’s face already. Thankfully, Jon’s insistence played in their favour and he managed to pull Lin away as his father grabbed David by the collar of his jacket and yanked him away, gripping the fabric tightly as he shoved his eldest son through the front door, slamming it shut behind them. Jon rushed Lin to his room, also shutting the door behind them before he pulled Lin into a hug, one of his hands clutching Lin’s shirt while the other went to the back of his head. Jon took a deep breath, Lin released a shuddery one and they both realized at the same time that they could hear Jim yelling at David, but couldn’t make out the words.

“I’m sorry that’s the relationship you have with your brother,” Lin whispered quietly after a few minutes, once the porch had finally quieted and they distinctly heard a car drive off into the night.

“It’s… Not alright by any means, but there’s nothing you can do about it, it’s not your fault,” Jon replied, trying to comfort him. “Are you okay, though? That’s all that matters to me right this minute.”

Lin nodded despite the slight tremors coursing through his body. He wasn’t entirely sure he was, but one thing was for sure, he didn’t have the energy to reflect on his feelings.

“If you ever need a big sister…” Lin trailed, going for a joke that he wasn’t sure was going to work.

“Are you trying to give Lu away?” Jon asked, disbelieving.

“Well, I mean. For a couple of hours at a time, sure?”

“You’re unbelievable,” Jon replied, huffing a laugh.

“Maybe, but you love me,” Lin shot back as he pulled away from Jon just enough so he could look him in the eyes.

“That I do, lovebird. That I do,” he said with a smile before he leaned forward to softly kiss him.

The kiss was just about to grow more heated when a timid knock came at the door and Jon pulled away with a sigh.

“Come in,” he called, moving so Lin and himself could sit on his bed.

Julie walked in and quietly made her way to the chair at Jon’s old desk, sitting heavily on it, her eyes trained to the floor. Jon’s heart immediately broke in pieces for his mother and he rushed forward, kneeling at her feet and taking her hands in his.

“What did we do wrong, angel? Where did we fail you boys?” Julie lamented and to hell if that didn’t crush Lin’s heart as well.

“Ma, please,” he pleaded. “Don’t. Don’t blame this on yourself. You didn’t fail us. You and Pa did everything right, you did everything you both could and I know that. David’s actions and words are no one else’s but his. You have no business in taking any blame whatsoever, do you hear me?”

She offered him a sad smile and it struck Lin that Julie Groff was a tired woman, tired of witnessing both of her sons fighting over something neither one had control over. He quietly approached them and sat next to Jon, freeing one of Julie’s hands from her son’s grip.

“I’m sorry for your frame, Julie,” Lin apologized in a murmur. He knew it wasn’t much, knew it wasn’t what he should be apologizing about after everything was said and done, but he wasn’t in the least sorry about the altercation he’d had with David. “I’d be happy to get you a new one,” he offered.

“You don’t have to, sweetheart, it’s okay.”

“I may not have to,” he replied, squeezing her hand, “but I _want_ to. It’s the least I can do.”

She gently freed both of her hands, carefully placing them both on Jon’s and Lin’s cheeks. She smiled tenderly at them, her thumbs smoothly caressing their skin. Neither boy had it in himself to rush the moment forward, to pressure Julie into talking. They weren’t sure exactly what she was looking for, but Jon knew that seeing the unshed tears in his mother’s eyes was killing him. As much as he could want to stand his ground and keep his brother out of his life, he knew deep down he’d always be willing to give him another chance if he had a change of heart, if only for their mother’s sake.

“It feels like yesterday when you came out to us,” she started in a quiet voice. “I remember so many things going through my mind, but never once was there anything about you being broken or being wrong. Never in a million years did I expect your brother to react this way, nor did I expect him to behave the way he’s been lately. You've always been sweeter, but I never thought his behaviour would turn so ugly.”

She sighed and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Jon's forehead. A single tear rolled down Jon's cheek and he swallowed hard, trying to reign in his own emotions.

“Lin, sweetheart, I'll admit that I hoped you weren't going to get to see this side of our family before much later and I ask that you do not judge us or our beliefs based on what you saw of David.”

“Julie,” Lin interrupted, “that never even crossed my mind. You’ve shown me nothing but kindness since I barged into Jon’s life. There’s no way I could think less of you because of David. He’s a grown man who makes his own choices. Like Jon said… please don’t blame this on yourself. You deserve so much better than to carry his shit.”

Julie gave him a small smile before she turned her attention to Jon.

“Angel, would you mind leaving us alone, for a moment? I’d like to speak to Lin in private.”

Jon glanced a bit nervously at Lin who gave him a reassuring smile and quick nod. He stood and pressed a tender kiss to the top of his mother’s head before he walked out, quietly shutting the door behind him. He found Melany and his father still in the living room, talking in hushed tones. It took Jon a moment to realize they were speaking in Amish Dutch, but he was too rusty − had never been really good at it to begin with − to be able to follow their conversation. He dropped in the couch opposite to them and Melany got up, taking a seat next to him before she pulled him to her, hugging him tightly.

“I know this isn’t easy for you, but know that I’m proud of you and that I’ll always stand behind you, Himmels,” she whispered quietly into his curls and Jon could help the sob that escaped him, clinging to her.

She made soft soothing sounds, rubbing his back comfortingly.

“Jonathan…” Jim started hesitantly and Jon pulled away just enough so he could turn his head to look at his father.

“I’ll be okay, Pa. Thank you for everything,” he said gratefully, cutting his father short. He knew Jim wasn’t comfortable with emotional speeches, knew he’d ultimately appreciate not having to say anything more than diving deep into his feelings.

Jim asked Jon whether he wanted to drive Melany home or not and, after admitting that he felt a bit too emotional for it to be very safe, it was settled that Jim would do it. Melany hugged Jon tightly against her heart again, asked him to hug Lin for her as well and they left, Jon quickly sagging against the back of the couch.

He felt emotionally drained, wanted nothing more than to go to bed despite it being still early in the evening. Noticing that Lin and Julie were still talking behind the closed door to his room, he settled on going to shower, trying to wash off of his skin his own brother’s cruelty. It had worked the weekend prior; hopefully it would again.

By the time he walked out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his hips, the door to his room was open again and he found Lin lounging on his bed, hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling deep in his thoughts. Jon closed the door behind him and went to his duffel, looking for a clean pair of boxers that he slipped on, going completely unnoticed by Lin. On any other day he probably would have found it funny, but after the evening’s events… He felt too drained to even smile at the fact.

He crawled into bed next to Lin, the mattress dipping bringing him back to the moment. Lin smiled tiredly at Jon and moved an arm to wrap it around his shoulders as Jon laid down next to him.

“What did Ma want?” Jon asked curiously after a moment of quiet passed between them.

“She’s just worried, it’s alright.”

“Worried? About what?”

Lin sighed and held Jon a bit more tightly to him.

“About us,” he replied truthfully.

“Why? We’re fine,” Jon paused. “Aren’t we?”

“Of course we are, pretty boy,” Lin reassured before he turned his head to kiss Jon’s forehead.

“Then why?”

“Because you’re sick, Jon. She wanted to make sure I wasn’t forgetting about processing my own feelings in all of this. She also wanted to tell me that I was always welcomed here, regardless of what David may say or how he may act.”

“Oh…” Jon breathed.

He suddenly realized that he hadn’t taken into consideration Lin’s emotions as far as his cancer was concerned. Or at the very least, not much. He had made sure Alex knew about it, made sure he’d be there for Lin when he was going to need him. But they hadn’t really discussed it, hadn’t sat down to look at the big picture. They had glanced at it, had acknowledged it on occasion, but nothing that was remotely close to satisfactory − and sure, part of him didn’t want to make it _that_ real, didn’t want to make it real enough to consider just how much Lin was likely to get hurt, but not acknowledging that possibility didn’t make it disappear.

“Hey, hey. Shh, it’ll be okay. We don’t have to talk about it now, pretty boy. Let’s focus on the week ahead of us and we can talk about it later, okay?” Lin offered.

Julie had made Lin realize that he hadn’t taken the time to process his feelings, that he had locked them at the back of his mind after his panic attack in Las Vegas and hadn’t approached them since then, hadn’t wanted to open that Pandora’s box. Besides, he knew Jon had a hard time whenever his brother was involved and it didn’t seem fair to force him to go through such a sensitive discussion after what had happened. So, really, delaying it − again, maybe too much − struck Lin as a brilliant idea. It wasn’t going to be, but for now, he could pretend it would do.

He heard Jon whisper a soft “Okay” from where he had buried his face in Lin’s neck and all that was left to do was for Lin to hug him tighter, perhaps closer than he’d held him ever, and whisper sweet nothings against Jon’s soft curls, pressing his lips to his head as much as possible.

“I’ve got you. Don’t worry. We’re gonna get through this together. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. You’ve got me. You always will.”

Lin wouldn’t admit to repeating those words until they didn’t sound like English anymore, until he was short of breath. He didn’t notice that Jon had started crying until much later, when he was fast asleep and Lin had to move to get the blankets around them, and he noticed damp spots on the soft cotton of his shirt. It wasn’t until what felt like several hours later that Lin finally fell asleep too, Jon wrapped around him and clutching to him like a lifeline.

**Author's Note:**

> If you've made it this far, we cannot thank you enough. Please comment and subscribe - we can't promise to have a regular update schedule, not if we keep writing enormous works like this, so that'll be the safest way of keeping updated.  
> Much love always.


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